Hail! Hail! The Gang's All Here!

September 10, 2001 10:45 AM

Hail! Hail! The Gang's All Here! All this talk about 'circle jerking' lately - I figured, let's get back to basics. How arousing can waxing the flagpole be, semi-publically? Do people applaud successful launches, like a space-shuttle lift-off? Are there prizes for first and last place? If there were snacks, who could trust the cheese dip? I dunno. Human beings are spooky.
posted by Perigee (21 comments total)

Gross. I smell a thread-delete.
posted by msacheson at 10:59 AM on September 10, 2001

Thread-delete

You think that link constitutes a "thread delete"-able offense? I am genuinely curious why one would come to that conclusion?

As for the link, the author sure made it sound kinda appealing. Being a breeder, though, it nonetheless holds little appeal to me. However, it's one more example of why I believe gay men have got it good when it comes to "getting some."
posted by mapalm at 11:14 AM on September 10, 2001

mapalm,

I was expressing my dislike of the subject/link. However, it's not my place to call for a thread-delete, even if I hope it would happen.
posted by msacheson at 11:28 AM on September 10, 2001

Do men really do this?....I just don't know what to say. Being a lesbian, I'm not offended at all by the gay subject matter but jeeezzzz..... I guess it explains a lot though. Men(gay or straight) could probably get a lot more done if their sex organs would leave them alone long enough!
posted by bas67 at 11:35 AM on September 10, 2001

I heard about it in college - context of joking. to what it extend it's actually done by straights, i dunno. perhaps in and of itself it jerks away one's hetrosexuality with a friendly but firm hand. Tho, I could see it slightly modified to a straight party. just go guy/girl alternating in a circle. could work just as well.
posted by Zebulun at 11:42 AM on September 10, 2001

I don't know if jerking a guy off would make a guy gay. It's not really different than giving another guy a massage. And to answer your question, Bas67, I don't think it's all that common, but then, I wasn't in the boyscouts.
posted by Doug at 11:45 AM on September 10, 2001

This is disgusting! Why would any mature guy want to do this when he can fool around with his dog?
posted by Postroad at 11:57 AM on September 10, 2001

If there were snacks, who could trust the cheese dip

From the Melbourne Wankers guide to throwing your own masturbation party: "Having munchies to satiate cock-inspired appetites is a necessary consideration. Keep it simple -- fruit, veggie dips, french bread, savoury biscuits, cheese and other bite sized goodies."

I can think of nothing more horrifying than eating finger foods at a masturbation party.
posted by rcade at 12:01 PM on September 10, 2001

I dunno if that's true, Doug. You'd give your father a massage, wouldn't you?
posted by Jairus at 12:01 PM on September 10, 2001

I dunno if that's true, Doug. You'd give your father a massage, wouldn't you?

Don't exploit Doug's special relationship with his Dad to prove your point!

I think its mostly an urban legend. I can't see too many straight guys planning this. I think you need to mix the proper amounts of bi-curioiusness and drugs/alcohol to really get it going on.
posted by skallas at 12:18 PM on September 10, 2001

Note to self: next masturbation party, do not serve Poi.

Also, I think such a party could greatly benefit by mixing in a little distance competition.

Come as you are

k
posted by Kafkaesque at 12:18 PM on September 10, 2001

I can think of nothing more horrifying than eating finger foods at a masturbation party.

What about the Ookie Cookie (perhaps the greatest masturbation-inspired Urban Legend of them all)?
posted by yerfatma at 1:24 PM on September 10, 2001

Otherwise known as the "limp biscuit"
posted by cell divide at 1:33 PM on September 10, 2001

Of course I would, Jairus, my father is HOT.
posted by Doug at 1:48 PM on September 10, 2001

As a gay guy, I'd like to encourage all extremely attractive straight males to participate in mutual masturbation. Particularly, with me. Thank you.
posted by adrober at 2:10 PM on September 10, 2001

Curiousity, adroper:

Why is it that there seems to be an attraction in some gay males for straight males ("trade")? Is it the 'forbidden fruit' thing, or what?
posted by Perigee at 2:25 PM on September 10, 2001

Perigee--

I think attraction, in general, is hard to justify. Perhaps it's society's definition of an attractive male that permeates our consciousness early on and forces us to adore the George Clooneys of the world and revile the Richard Simmonses (despite their highly attractive afros and short shorts). Perhaps, in the world of science, something can be said regarding hormones and testosterone levels, and "straight" males, maybe, emitting pheromones that trigger something in gay males. The only way to find out, I guess, is for really attractive straight guys to participate in mutual masturbation with me. Otherwise, we'll never know. :)
posted by adrober at 3:08 PM on September 10, 2001

this sounds great! we can setup a mefi circlejerk party in seattle!
posted by lotsofno at 3:21 PM on September 10, 2001

What about the Ookie Cookie
Otherwise known as the "limp biscuit"

aka the 'soggy sao' down under...
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:58 PM on September 10, 2001

~Grin~ Good Huntin', adrober; thanks for the open and honest answer - and Especially thanks for recognizing a non-judgemental curiousity for what it was! A rare and precious thing, and very much appreciated.
posted by Perigee at 10:36 PM on September 10, 2001