Imagine his life after marriage
January 30, 2011 6:42 PM   Subscribe

Until I Get Married is "a blog written by Jozen about Jozen and his journey through the ups and downs of bachelorhood." WaPo story here.
posted by vidur (15 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: at poster's request -- mathowie



 
“I’VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND”

The only women who don’t get some sort of side eye from me when they say this are 16-years-old and younger. Heck, even an 18-year-old girl can get away with not having a boy, but a 25-year-old woman, or a recent college graduate who says she’s never had a boyfriend? Uh oh. Is that supposed to be hot, like she’s some sort of exclusive? What’s really awkward is the woman who is 21 and over, saying she’s not a virgin, but she’s never had a boyfriend. So we’ve just been letting a whole lot of non-committal sexing going on, is that it? And don’t let the woman who says she’s never had a boyfriend be the same woman who says she gets along better with girls than guys. At that point, she’s just telling on herself, and that’s really what this list is about. It’s not about not being a woman who has never had a boyfriend, because I understand, those women do exist. This is more about not admitting such a thing.


Great story bro
posted by Sebmojo at 6:49 PM on January 30, 2011


Goddamn it.

I'm gonna write a blog about how our culture's arrested development and squeamishness around commitment, while it has allowed me incredible educational and personal opportunities, has also left a deep emotional hole that I fear won't be filled until I can commit myself fully to one person. WaPo will write that up, right?
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 6:52 PM on January 30, 2011


“I DON’T LIKE TO GO TO THE CLUB”

I interpret this statement as, “I don’t like to go out, have a few drinks, and have fun.” All these folks talking about how they don’t want to be the old person in the club have a problem with going to the right clubs. If it’s one of those 18-to-dip, 21-to-sip type of parties, and you’re 25, that’s not the right club to be at, baby. Go to something sophisticated, something that scales closer to 30 if that’s the age you’re at, because guess what, I’m going to be at that spot. I like to go out, and dare I say, I like to go out with my lady more than I like to go out searching for ladies. A woman who paints herself as the picture of innocence by declaring her distaste for club lights, is a woman who is warning everyone her zone is a no fun zone.


HELL YEAH SON
YOU GO TELL THOSE LADIES WHO DON'T LIKE TO GO TO THE CLUB
WHY DON'T THEY JUST GO TO A DIFFERENT CLUB?
NO FUN ZONE, BOYS, NO FUN ZONE
ME, I'LL BE AT THE SOPHISTICATED CLUB
I'LL PROBABLY SEE SOME LADIES AT THAT CLUB WHO LIKE TO GO TO THAT CLUB AT THAT CLUB
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:53 PM on January 30, 2011 [11 favorites]


I stopped reading at:

"I want a woman, a woman who prides herself on sisterhood without being a feminist."

I want a man that is ok with a woman who believes she is equal to a man, and heck, even believes it himself.

Maybe this is why I'm single.
posted by whoaali at 7:00 PM on January 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


DOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUCHE
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:05 PM on January 30, 2011 [4 favorites]


Hey, ladies.

I don't like to go to the club either. I like to wind up in the beer garden of an afternoon, sophisticated and bohemian, and drink myself into a languorous sophisticated stupor over the course of several hours. I admit it, I'm drawn to the bright lights of the poker machines. Maybe my boss will call me wondering why I'm not at work, maybe nobody'll call me at all. I'll be ready to leave by about ten o'clock. If that's too early for you, it's OK—just because I've been refused service doesn't mean I can't stick around and try again when the bar staff switch shifts. Bachelorhood has its challenges.

If you want to carry me home by my armpits while my heels drag on the footpath, I'm your man. We can go to yours, or if you want, my house keys are on a string on my wrist.

See you in the Fiasco fun zone, baby.

[winks]

[stumbles]
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 7:09 PM on January 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


Full quote: "I want a woman, a woman who prides herself on sisterhood without being a feminist. A woman should never underestimate how attractive it is for her to have a solid group of girlfriends and strong relationships with the women in her family."

This guy just reeks of future Mens Rights Advocate. I forsee a future with multiple domestic violence convictions, a nasty divorce and eventually a mail order bride from Belarussia. No matter what happens in his life there will always be a woman or "feminist" to blame.
posted by Avenger at 7:10 PM on January 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


"Here's what's wrong with women who won't date me." - This Guy

Lemme check my meter:
[ 0 . . . . | . . . . Douche ]
                       /
posted by secret about box at 7:11 PM on January 30, 2011 [30 favorites]


Reading this gave me a new thing to say. I am so excited. Henceforth, rather than saying "I do not like clubs" I will say "my zone is a no fun zone."

This is so much better! I love it.
posted by millipede at 7:14 PM on January 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


DOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUCHE

I really, really dislike the use of douche and douchebag as insults. But this guy? Total douche.
posted by Forktine at 7:17 PM on January 30, 2011


I really, really dislike the use of douche and douchebag as insults. But this guy? Total douche.

Me too. Let's call him a dick bidet instead.


DICK BIDET.
posted by millipede at 7:18 PM on January 30, 2011


DIIIIIIIIICK BIIIIIIIIIIDET
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 7:19 PM on January 30, 2011 [5 favorites]


I want Dan Nakamura to write a concept album starring this character.

"All the ladies in the club, if you're not having fun, say whyyy?
No seriously, whyyy? You don't like drinking or having fun?
Maybe the problem is youuuu!"
posted by No-sword at 7:19 PM on January 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


Whatever decisions and random events have led me to a place in my life where I almost never encounter this dude's spiritual kin any more, I find that I am incredibly grateful for them.
posted by brennen at 7:20 PM on January 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


Then the chorus is BDP scratched to sound like "No fun zone! N-n-no fun zone!"
posted by No-sword at 7:22 PM on January 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


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