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HOLY SNAPPING DUCK SHIT IT'S A MITOCHONDRION
January 30, 2011 9:00 PM   Subscribe

ZOMGscience.net. For those who think science could use more swearing. [Text is very NSFW, images are fine.]

Focused on chemistry, biochemistry, and molecular biology. Some highlights:

On ribonuclease A:
This evil shit is isolated by boiling cellular gunk until every other fucking thing floating in it dies... All this hairy bitch does is cleave RNA, it doesn't give a flying fuck who that RNA belongs to.
On hydrofluoric acid:
Fuck, if a super toxic, corrosive gas isn't enough we went and made a deadly contact poison out of the bitch that loves calcium and shit. Calcium is seriously important for things like, fuck, I don't know, muscles and nerves and bones and shit. Once that nasty hydrofluoric acid busts the fuck in, it pisses that jizzrag hydrogen off and goes hunting for calcium. This is about as good for you as a crushed glass enema.
On ATP synthase:
That sexy breakdancing enzyme takes punk ass adenosine diphosphate, which is about as useful to the cell as homeopathy, and turns that fucker into ATP...how you ask? It fucking headbutts another phosphate right onto that bitch when it twists around. Just stop and think how hardcore this little shit is fuck its like punching a pig so hard you get showered in bacon.
On Dmitri Mendeleev:
Not only did this Russian pimp organise shit up according to atomic weight chemical properties and character of elements he predicted elements that hadnt been discovered yet just by using the table he fucking made.
posted by DevilsAdvocate (33 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
This whole "making things funny with swearing" idea is extremely tired.
posted by The Thnikkaman at 9:09 PM on January 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


This is so fucking added to my Google Reader. Let's see if I can read it at work with out laughing out loud. WOLOL even.

Thank you!
posted by sleepytako at 9:17 PM on January 30, 2011


This whole "making things funny with swearing" idea is extremely tired.

I respectfully disafuckingree.

posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:17 PM on January 30, 2011 [12 favorites]


The cranky asshole above me doesn't think swearing is funny.

I think that is pretty fucking sad.
posted by pickinganameismuchharderthanihadanticipated at 9:17 PM on January 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Fucking close tags, how do they work?
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:18 PM on January 30, 2011 [9 favorites]


Nice fucking tags.
posted by grouse at 9:19 PM on January 30, 2011


I gotta say I agree with The Thnikkaman - the first time I remember seeing anything in this genre it was LOOK AT THIS DOG which cracked me right up. Everything since then has been a steady downhill lubricated with copious quantities of "trying too hard".
posted by komara at 9:21 PM on January 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


I don't know... I like swearing as much as the next drunk sailor, but it seems a little.. forced.
posted by edgeways at 9:28 PM on January 30, 2011


I respectfully agree with the blog that we need a Superhero with the catch phrase "Fucking Science!"
posted by arcticseal at 9:28 PM on January 30, 2011


Fucking Science

My God! Is there nothing Science can't study?
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:29 PM on January 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


Dude, this made my wife laugh. That's some real hardcore shit right there.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:33 PM on January 30, 2011


Those who think science could use more swearing have not dealt with me when I'm trying to get sample data, but just getting blank looks.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:34 PM on January 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


Naughty words that engineers can get away with saying
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:36 PM on January 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


I fucking laughed.
posted by gurple at 9:54 PM on January 30, 2011


These guys really need to tell us all how magnets work.
posted by adamrice at 9:55 PM on January 30, 2011 [3 favorites]


This whole "making things funny with swearing" idea is extremely tired.
posted by The Thnikkaman at 5:09 AM on January 31


Unless it's done well. As in Charlie Brooker.
posted by Decani at 9:59 PM on January 30, 2011


These guys really need to tell us all how magnets work.

Oh my god...are you Insane Clown Posse?

Thats right. I'm the TMZ of metafilter.
posted by hal_c_on at 10:10 PM on January 30, 2011 [1 favorite]


This whole "making things funny with swearing" idea is extremely tired.

I agree. And that whole turning profanity-laden rap lyrics into highbrow English also used to be funny. Men dressing as women used to be side-splittingly funny. In the 1950s.

In the recent times I've tutored maths or science, I normally explain things matter-of-fact, and then hit 'em with a bit of Austin Powers' "yes baby, yes!" at the end.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:18 PM on January 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Naughty words that engineers can get away with saying.

At work so won't click. Is Wankel rotary engine there?

Oh, and the first line of my previous comment should have been italicized... I was quoting a MeFite.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:23 PM on January 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


Naughty words that engineers can get away with saying.

Fave organic chemistry term: backside attack.
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 10:34 PM on January 30, 2011 [2 favorites]


This is fantastic.
posted by reductiondesign at 10:39 PM on January 30, 2011


"Naughty words that engineers can get away with saying."

My boss's grant proposals for developing air quality research instrumentation regular include phrases like "vibrating orifice." He has another idea that's been nicknamed "hot balls" in our office, which of course leads to hallway conversations asking him how the funding agency liked his hot balls...
posted by Jacqueline at 11:22 PM on January 30, 2011


As most of you know, I've never driven a super tanker. If I did, I would honk the horn for this link.
posted by I love you more when I eat paint chips at 11:44 PM on January 30, 2011


Holy snapping duck shit its a mitochondrion

God bless them.
posted by buzzv at 1:11 AM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Swearing doesn't make things funny.











Ah, who the fuck am I kidding. Holy snapping duck shit indeed.
posted by robzster1977 at 4:00 AM on January 31, 2011 [2 favorites]


Let us not forget the classics in this field:

Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass
posted by kyrademon at 4:45 AM on January 31, 2011 [5 favorites]


From Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass:

My careful theoretical modeling and painstaking experimentation reveal 1) that my equipment is crap, as are all the available texts on the subject and 2) that this whole exercise was a complete waste of my time.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:49 AM on January 31, 2011


This whole "making things funny with swearing" idea is extremely tired.
posted by The Thnikkaman


Shut up, kid!
posted by adamdschneider at 8:16 AM on January 31, 2011


You know, anything that can help make science more accessible to kids is okay by me.
posted by Xoebe at 9:21 AM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


Maddox got a science degree?
posted by Pecinpah at 10:31 AM on January 31, 2011


Is this an attempt to get science geeks into that weird clown cult?
posted by HFSH at 11:23 AM on January 31, 2011


I can't be the only scientist whose lab book was chock-full of swear words when my motherfucking experiments didn't work.
posted by exogenous at 12:29 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


I teach HS Biology and man do I wish I could talk like this to my classes!
posted by leetheflea at 5:02 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]


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