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I'am robbing you sir... Yes I'am sure.
February 10, 2011 10:52 AM   Subscribe

CCTV footage released of 'polite robber' hold up A so called 'polite robber', has been filmed on CCTV holding up a petrol station in Seattle. The robber, who appears to be armed with a gun, asks the cashier, "Could you do me a favour? Empty the till for me please and put it right here. I am robbing you sir."
posted by Felex (57 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
I say.
posted by dry white toast at 10:53 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Reminds me of Barry Lyndon.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:53 AM on February 10, 2011


Very sad. Robbers should be monsters, not real people we can relate to.
posted by qxntpqbbbqxl at 10:54 AM on February 10, 2011 [9 favorites]


I wouldn't want to be a dustbin in Shaftsbury tonight.
posted by boo_radley at 10:55 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


I was hoping he would be some sort of Drones Club fop, and we'd all have a chuckle (even the victim, what what?).

But this is really depressing. He reminds me of my ex-father in law, who is a real sweetheart.

Fuck you, economy.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 10:58 AM on February 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


It stops being polite when you start pointing a gun.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:58 AM on February 10, 2011 [32 favorites]


Twenty Benson & Hedges.
posted by kickingtheground at 10:59 AM on February 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


The pathos in this is heartbreaking. I haven't heard if they caught him yet or not.

I have heard that he only got around $300 from the till, which isn't going to last long in Seattle especially if he's renting and has a family to support.

Note to self: Rob banks, not gas stations.
posted by loquacious at 10:59 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


But, but, I said "Please."
posted by Mental Wimp at 11:00 AM on February 10, 2011


Probably a Canadian. Not far from the border.
posted by molecicco at 11:02 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


A man is currently being questioned about the offence by the police.

"Dave, can you come out and here and talk to us?"
"No."
"Please, Dave. We just want to talk."
"I don't want to talk to you."
"Dude, the BBC has got you on video."
"The BB-what?"
"BBC. You know. English TV. Monty Python."
"I don't get it."
"You're on YouTube, man."
"I don't watch the YouTube."
"Just open the door, Dave."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:04 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I kind of wish I had watched it before making a stupid remark now.
posted by molecicco at 11:04 AM on February 10, 2011


Probably a Canadian. Not far from the border.

That would explain why he spelled "favour" with a u.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 11:04 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


'Polite Robber' suspect once known as 'Transaction Bandit'
posted by kmz at 11:05 AM on February 10, 2011


I thought this was going to be some gentleman highway robber-style thief, but this was just sad.
posted by orange swan at 11:06 AM on February 10, 2011


Robbers should be monsters, not real people we can relate to.

Now I don't know WHO TO TRUST!?!
posted by Hoenikker at 11:06 AM on February 10, 2011


Yes, sir. I'm very, very sorry.

posted by XQUZYPHYR at 11:06 AM on February 10, 2011


John Cleese woulda done it better.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:06 AM on February 10, 2011


petrol station in Seattle
favour
dustbin in Shaftsbury

I just spent a few minutes too many trying to figure out where in England this Seattle place was.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:08 AM on February 10, 2011 [29 favorites]


It stops being polite when you start pointing a gun.

If the suspect they have in custody is the same man, he apparently uses a realistic looking air pistol.
posted by linux at 11:08 AM on February 10, 2011


If the suspect they have in custody is the same man, he apparently uses a realistic looking air pistol.


Yes, well I'd still say it's impolite.
posted by monkeymadness at 11:09 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I just spent a few minutes too many trying to figure out where in England this Seattle place was.

It's in the rainy part where they wear all the flannel. You know. Bristol.

Bah dum bump, khsss.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:11 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


This guy has been previously convicted of armed robbery. He's not really that nice. But I guess this shows that politeness really does go a long way!

Local plug: this story was first broken on the awesome West Seattle Blog, one of best local blogs in the country.
posted by Aquaman at 11:13 AM on February 10, 2011


Perhaps the impoliteness involved in pointing a realistic-looking air pistol is merely a reflection of the deeper impoliteness of the system itself.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 11:13 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


"I really am sorry to have to do this," he says. "I've got rent to pay. I've got bills. And the kids need to eat.... Thank you very much, I appreciate it," he says after allegedly robbing [the store's owner] of about $300. "I really am sorry, and if I ever get back on my feet again, sir, I'll bring it back."

Gregory Paul Hess, 65, whose identity was confirmed to AOL News by Police Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff's office, may be penitent about his illicit activity, but it isn't the first time he's resorted to crime. Hess has been convicted of forgery and armed robbery, Urquhart said in a phone interview.


On (insta)preview, Aquaman got the scoop.

I got beat by Aquaman? Damn.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:15 AM on February 10, 2011


I remember a story from a few years ago - I probably saw it here - about a couple of guys who robbed a drive-through coffee stand. There wasn't enough money in the tills for them, so they worked the stand for a while, making coffee for customers.
posted by rtha at 11:17 AM on February 10, 2011 [4 favorites]


Sorry, please disregard the Aquaman snark, thank you
posted by filthy light thief at 11:19 AM on February 10, 2011


Relevant self-link
posted by The Whelk at 11:22 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I wouldn't want to be a dustbin in Shaftsbury tonight.

With hooligans, no less!
posted by phunniemee at 11:22 AM on February 10, 2011


I'm sorry: with the mention of "politeness", "CCTV" and "petrol" I had assumed this was in Britain. I apologize.
posted by boo_radley at 11:26 AM on February 10, 2011


Why should we take anything he says at face value (and does he even have starving kids at home)? Plenty of people use empathy as a way to get what they want. And plenty of people frame their lives and actions in a certain way to convince themselves of their goodness.
posted by naju at 11:29 AM on February 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


Where's Super Granny with her handbag when you really need her?
posted by yeti at 11:31 AM on February 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


Plenty of people use empathy as a way to get what they want.

Yeah, I'm thinking a person robbed by a polite, empathetic robber might be less likely to call the cops. Especially when that person is themselves a low-paid clerk.
posted by DU at 11:34 AM on February 10, 2011


According to Michael Caine, the most dangerous time to be around a cockney mobster is when they've gotten polite and chummy. They're getting you to lower your guard so they can feed you your own Davinas.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:44 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


His politeness seems like it's for his own short circuited conscience more than anything. Also, his gun handling (air pistol or not) seems sloppy and lazy so someone with a gun behind the counter and good reflexes could easily get the drop on him and make things bloody instead of polite.
posted by Burhanistan at 11:46 AM on February 10, 2011


"I've got five kids to feed"
posted by Burhanistan at 11:48 AM on February 10, 2011


It stops being polite when you start pointing a gun.

I'd say he's more brandishing or displaying than pointing. At least in this video, the gun never appears to be actually pointed at the clerk.

"Terribly sorry to bring a gun into this at all, but I need you to believe I am serious."
posted by explosion at 11:48 AM on February 10, 2011


Man, those panhandlers in Seattle are Pushy...

Does anyone else get the impression that if the clerk "accidentally" pushed the drawer closed, the robbery would have ended.

>click< "Oh dear, bad luck that. Well, goodday sir and I shall take the coffee regardless."
posted by djrock3k at 11:58 AM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


> I'd say he's more brandishing or displaying than pointing.

A fine point that is definitely lost on felony armed robbery laws, no doubt. But yeah, since it's an air gun he might've been actively trying to not point it at the victim for fear that he might notice the tiny muzzle opening and call his bluff.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:00 PM on February 10, 2011


I don't care if it's an air gun or not, I've worked enough retail to know that if someone pulls one out while you're at the till, you do what they tell you.

Kinda funny, though, that the cashier offered to just give him $40 instead.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 12:08 PM on February 10, 2011


I'm sorry: with the mention of "politeness", "CCTV" and "petrol" I had assumed this was in Britain. I apologize.

I saw CCTV and Seattle and assumed China had annexed the West Coast.
posted by Throw away your common sense and get an afro! at 12:10 PM on February 10, 2011


Had a dear friend who worked at a gas station in college who was robbed at gunpoint. They weren't particularly rude but she had nightmares about it for years. YEARS. She was just trying to pay her bills, too, and help her parents out a little bit (her mother had just been diagnosed with MS).
posted by the young rope-rider at 12:11 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Where's Super Granny with her handbag when you really need her?

She only stops burglaries, not robberies. I'm always surprised at how these guys are willing to risk getting shot or spending years in prison for less than $100 and a cup of coffee. (I hope it was some serious gourmet shit and not freeze-dried Taster's Choice.)
posted by Hylas at 12:12 PM on February 10, 2011


I'm pretty sure the clerk would rather call the cops on a polite robber than be fired for theft him/herself.
posted by freshwater at 12:13 PM on February 10, 2011


funny Sticherbeast, I just watched that for the first time last night
posted by supermedusa at 12:13 PM on February 10, 2011


"Dave, can you come out and here and talk to us?"

Dave's not here.
posted by three blind mice at 12:24 PM on February 10, 2011


Now, was that civilised? No, clearly not. Fun, but in no sense civilised.
posted by dougrayrankin at 12:55 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Gregory Paul Hess, 65, whose identity was confirmed to AOL News by Police Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff's office

At that age he probably doesn't have young children at home. I thought he looked on the old side for a father of children young enough to be financially dependent on him, but it was hard to tell in the video.
posted by orange swan at 1:09 PM on February 10, 2011


Eh, I don't see where the story is here. I don't care if he's polite or swears when he's robbing me. Either way he's an asshole douchebag.

News last night was saying he didn't even have kids. A prior felon, a liar, and a robber.

Add to this that even if he were indeed a desperate father with kids to feed I'd not have much sympathy for him after he points a guy at a man actually earning a living.

I hope he goes away for a long time.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:13 PM on February 10, 2011


If the above reads as too harsh add a "sir" and a "please" in there somewhere. I don't want people to think I am a bigger asshole than that asshole.
posted by cjorgensen at 1:15 PM on February 10, 2011


Ah local news, lets focus on a 'polite' robber who wasn't all that polite, not the SECOND Seattle police office to get filmed kicking a handcuffed and prone suspect in the head.
posted by nomisxid at 1:26 PM on February 10, 2011 [6 favorites]


You MeFi-tes could stand to learn a lot of from this criminal!
posted by mazola at 2:33 PM on February 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


He spends his cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention!

(Too soon?)
posted by bitter-girl.com at 2:38 PM on February 10, 2011


Now see, if this guy were Omar, he wouldn't have to say a thing.
posted by bwg at 4:43 PM on February 10, 2011


It's really bad when a person robbing you at gunpoint is more civil than the people you meet on any given day when you're out shopping or doing whatever.
posted by Mael Oui at 8:11 PM on February 10, 2011


no, it's ethics.
posted by clavdivs at 8:54 PM on February 10, 2011


It stops being polite when you start pointing a gun.

Over-socialized.
posted by Twang at 11:49 AM on February 11, 2011


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