"She tightens her calves against the railing and squeezes with her thighs, and he groans..."

February 15, 2011 4:28 AM

And the winner of the Good Sex Award is... "...recognizing the best sex writing in fiction from the past year. We've [salon.com] convened a panel of literary star judges -- Walter Kirn, Maud Newton, Louis Bayard and Salon's own Laura Miller -- to reward the best-written, most interesting and most convincing piece of sex writing published in a novel in 2010." No 2., No. 3, No. 4, No.5, No. 6, No. 7, No. 8. The 2010 Bad Sex Award Winner.
posted by Fizz (15 comments total)

Just opened the site, this was the FPP. Looked at this, then the FPP below it. This morning, its oversexedfilter. What a way to start the day.
posted by tempythethird at 4:46 AM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Like a lepidopterist..

It sure is the day for it.
posted by Ahab at 4:58 AM on February 15, 2011

I just read the Franzen selection this am. Really loving the book. The last third is really the best of the book. The best writing about liberalism vs conservatism warped by cultural certitude I've come across in a long time. Highly recommended.
posted by judson at 6:12 AM on February 15, 2011

This morning, its oversexedfilter.

Of course. V-day was yesterday.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 6:19 AM on February 15, 2011

Some of these seem more like contenders for the worst sex scenes of the year. For example:

Grabbing Marta’s classically rounded hips, he slammed her up and down on his perfect erection until he began to shudder in orgasm.
posted by Forktine at 6:20 AM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: Classically Rounded
posted by jellywerker at 7:00 AM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't think there's any argument about that Worst Sex Writing Winner. Really, a butterfly stuck with a pin as a sexual analogy?

But some of the "best of"...I don't know. I understand that the criteria includes "realistic", so perhaps that's why some of the scenes that I personally found aloof, distanced and contemplative (especially #3), won the hearts of the Salon judges.

The first place winner was at least completely in the moment. The wicked smile resonated.

But all the "others" surrounding the couple became too much. The shadowy silhouette, the one he wants desperately to be her seeing them together, yes, oh yes, we need to feel that. His need to show her, whoever she is, that he is fucking this other woman silly just adds to the desperate, torrid heat.

But the stuff about the cabbie? No. Distracting, it detracts from the moment rather than adding to it.

But that's just me, and sex and what makes it sexy is just so subjective that I give Salon credit for even taking on the task of Best and Worst.
posted by misha at 8:23 AM on February 15, 2011

But some of the "best of"...I don't know. I understand that the criteria includes "realistic", so perhaps that's why some of the scenes that I personally found aloof, distanced and contemplative (especially #3), won the hearts of the Salon judges.

I'll admit it, I skimmed them. B-O-R-I-N-G.
But I bet they'd be a lot more fun if I'd read the books. They've been deprived of context, and it kind of strangles the life out of them. It's really hard to get emotionally engaged when you don't know the characters or what's going on.

But then, I hate top ten lists, so this was a sure fail for me anyway. I'll go now.
posted by Stagger Lee at 9:06 AM on February 15, 2011

The worst sex scene ever put into words.
(Halfway down the page).
posted by Ratio at 10:06 AM on February 15, 2011

Her tongue lapped eagerly at his balls like a cat with a saucer of milk.\

Cory Doctorow is fucked up.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 10:56 AM on February 15, 2011

The worst sex scene ever put into words.

No, Stross' mashup of sex, BDSM, copyleft, and superglue is still king of the dung heap.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 12:24 PM on February 15, 2011

No, Stross' mashup of sex, BDSM, copyleft, and superglue is still king of the dung
heap.

Oooh! Got a link?
posted by Ratio at 12:57 PM on February 15, 2011

A google books link
posted by KirkJobSluder at 1:10 PM on February 15, 2011

"There is nothing more English than bad sex, so on behalf of the entire nation I would like to thank you."

Now, that was funny right there.
posted by ~Sushma~ at 8:23 PM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]

Don't make me link to really badly written sex stories. I am warning you. Once read, they cannot be unread.
posted by Xoebe at 12:28 AM on February 16, 2011