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The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger
February 15, 2011 10:23 PM   Subscribe


 
Look at that sleepy fuck.
posted by phaedon at 10:29 PM on February 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


A propos of nothing, I'll just mention that when this video came up on my Facebook feed a few weeks ago, one of my female friends noted that "honey badger" seems to be a very fortuitous nickname for certain female parts. The fact that the honey badger in this video happens to maul a snake only makes the innuendo just that much more perfect. Since that time, a number of my friends never miss a chance to make a sideways reference to honey badgers.

I sincerely hope that I'm adding something positive to the community by relating this.
posted by koeselitz at 10:29 PM on February 15, 2011 [43 favorites]


I think you may have found the next David Attenborough!
posted by Xoebe at 10:32 PM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


The phrase "house of bees" convinced me.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 10:40 PM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: look, here is a house full of bees.
posted by penduluum at 10:42 PM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Pretty badass.
posted by Trochanter at 10:44 PM on February 15, 2011


That made me very, very happy. Thank you.
posted by brundlefly at 10:50 PM on February 15, 2011


His entire video feed is golden, my favorite after the honey badger is the Jesus Lizard.
posted by ChrisHartley at 10:51 PM on February 15, 2011


Okay, I looked up more videos of these guys. Funny narration aside, honey badgers are crazy bastards.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 10:56 PM on February 15, 2011


What an unbelievably terrifying animal. If I have dreams about being attacked by one of these things, I will personally hold you accountable, not_on_display.
posted by spiderskull at 10:56 PM on February 15, 2011


That's the most awesome badger ever. A baboon has no chance.
posted by londonmark at 10:58 PM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


The serene cello music really ties the room together
posted by Jibuzaemon at 11:01 PM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


I think my new catchphrase is "Look: honey badger don't care."
posted by jimfl at 11:02 PM on February 15, 2011 [7 favorites]


Previously
posted by ActingTheGoat at 11:04 PM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, the rest of his videos are great.
posted by brundlefly at 11:06 PM on February 15, 2011




They didn't really go into the loose skin thing (possibly the most badass aspect of the honey badger) - a larger predator can be biting right into a honey badger and its skin is so loose that it can turn around and bite right back.
posted by gronkpan at 11:15 PM on February 15, 2011 [6 favorites]


I agreed with most of what that man said.
posted by En0rm0 at 11:15 PM on February 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


I am so glad the honey badger was not killed by the cobra! I was prepared to be sad, but hurray! Mammalia triumphs again!
posted by ChuraChura at 11:27 PM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger

Snaaake, oh it's a -- WTF?! HE JUST ATE A SNAKE? JESUS CHRIST IT BIT HIM AND EVERYTHING AND HE'S EATING IT, OMFG!!
posted by dirigibleman at 11:29 PM on February 15, 2011 [3 favorites]


Everything I know about nature comes from Cracked lists. This is no exception
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 11:40 PM on February 15, 2011 [4 favorites]


Honey badgers also make for great but expensive shaving brushes.

Great as badger hair is supreme for shaving soaps; expensive because many men die trying to get a badger to give up its hair.
posted by bwg at 11:46 PM on February 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


Honey badger badgers, honey badgers badger.
posted by zippy at 11:50 PM on February 15, 2011




badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger Indeed. Indeed!.

Did I forget a badger? It might have been the most important one, too!
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 12:15 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh shit, you do not mess with those things.
posted by Artw at 12:53 AM on February 16, 2011


Isn't there some footage somewhere of a honey badger just having a flat-out tantrum? Can't seem to find it on YouTube.
posted by Ritchie at 12:59 AM on February 16, 2011


Isn't there some footage somewhere of a honey badger just having a flat-out tantrum?

There is. IIRC it can't get into a hive in a trunk and just goes apeshit, shrowing the treetrunk around, jumping up and down, and generally looking like me when a cooking experiment goes wrong like a pissed off two year old.
posted by rodgerd at 1:34 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


IIRC correctly the South African army names their armoured personnel carriers (or was it a tank?) after these lads.
posted by Abiezer at 1:51 AM on February 16, 2011


A few years ago I was lucky enough to have a conversation with an old guide in one of South Africa's national parks. This was a guy who shoots rhino poachers and the previous year had freed a female lion from a toilet cubicle (think that one through for a bit).

He was absolutely terrified of honey badgers.
posted by cromagnon at 2:08 AM on February 16, 2011 [14 favorites]


Oh shit, you do not mess with those things.

Especially not if you happen to be a koala.
posted by juv3nal at 2:14 AM on February 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


From the wiki:
Because of the toughness and looseness of their skin, honey badgers are very difficult to kill with dogs. Their skin is hard to penetrate, and its looseness allows them to twist and turn on their attackers when held. The only safe grip on a honey badger is on the back of the neck. The skin is also tough enough to resist several machete blows. The only sure way of killing them quickly is through a blow to the skull with a club or a shot to the head with a powerful rifle, as their skin is almost impervious to arrows and spears.[25]
From the cited source:
One of the foremost characteristics of the ratel [honey badger] is its extreme bravery and general toughness. It appears to be quite without fear, and when flight seems of no avail will turn savagely to attack man or any other creature. It can take any amount of punishment and is so tireless in combat that it has been known to exhaust and overcome far larger animals. Indeed, one is said to have killed a buffalo in the Kruger National Park.

...

How impenetrable the skin is is illustrated by an account given by T. Rawson-Shaw (in Fleetwood, 1958) in which he relates that blows from a matchet "would would have cut any other animal of that size in half merely bounced off, leaving a shallow gash on his hide, and it took about ten of these and four .22 bullets to kill it".

Others have found much the same; and it is commonly held that a direct shot in the head from a fairly powerful rifle is the only certain way of killing a honey badger. In the Bauchi area of Northern Nigeria it was well known that arrows and spears were almost useless and that the best, indeed reputedly only, way of certainly killing one of these animals was to club it over the back of the head.

In tussles with dogs it is usually the ratel that succeeds in sinking its teeth into its opponent, hanging on tirelessly, with jaws clenched like a vice, despite being banged on the ground or against trees or rocks, and finally, when the dog is completely exhausted, making off apparently none the worse for the experience. Sikes (1964a) found that, in play, a captive ratel being swung round hanging on to a sack actually appeared to enjoy being bumped roughly up and down on the ground.

...

In captivity, as in the wild, ratels can with some abruptness work themselves up into an ecstatic fury. During such a bout the hair stands on end, the animal foams at the mouth and becomes almost literally blind to any external calming influence.

...

Tortoises present no difficulty to this animal which can readily crush the shells with its very powerful jaws. Snakes also are taken, including highly poisonous ones; and that they are not always of small size is shown by an extraordinary record in Africa Wild Life, 1964, 18 : 27 which tells of a ratel fighting, killing and feeding on a python some 10 or 11 feet long. The beginning of this exceedingly noisy and energetic combat was not seen, but the battle must have continued for some half an hour, at the end of which the snake "was so mutilated that it looked as if it had been run over by a train".

...

Unable to get in [to a hen house] any other way, tunnelled under the wall and up through the floor, which was paved with large stones set in mud mortar. ... Once entrance has been effected to a fowl-house it often happens that everything inside is slaughtered and eaten, nothing beyond a few scattered feathers remaining.

...

Sking, hair, feathers and bones of a victim are all eaten as well as the flesh.
Sweet chocolate christ, they're insane.
posted by disillusioned at 2:33 AM on February 16, 2011 [63 favorites]


Why is it every time badgers are mentioned around here, everyone goes insane?
posted by mannequito at 2:38 AM on February 16, 2011


on preview - ah, cause the badgers themselves are insane.
that actually ....... makes sense?
posted by mannequito at 2:39 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Someone give this man a show on Animal Planet.
posted by NoraReed at 2:41 AM on February 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


Any television show would be made infinitely better if we turned off the sound and just had this beautiful man narrate.
posted by munchingzombie at 2:44 AM on February 16, 2011


that's my new second favorite nature show host. After this one
posted by Redhush at 3:35 AM on February 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


The part of me without a conscience desperately wants a ratel-skin jacket now.
posted by Ritchie at 3:45 AM on February 16, 2011


After this film was made, the honey badger ate the narrator. Honey Badger don't give a FUCK.
posted by louche mustachio at 3:53 AM on February 16, 2011 [6 favorites]


I'm not at all comfortable with the whole camp thing going on here.

Nature, eeeew! It's eating a snake, eeeew, gross!

The subject is fascinating, and I would prefer it treated with frank curiosity.
posted by Wolof at 4:03 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Honey Badger is a sugar daddy.
posted by Sailormom at 4:49 AM on February 16, 2011


Anyone else notice that during the snakebite scene, the honey badger's attacker/meal keeps changing from a viper to a cobra? Smooth scales! Keeled scales! Neurotoxin! Hemotoxin! Elapidae! Viperidae!

Did the honey badger edit this? YOU CRAZY HONEY BADGER YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SNAKE IT WAS YOU FUCK EM ALL UP. FUCK CONTINUITY.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:58 AM on February 16, 2011 [21 favorites]


"Oh hey, what's that cobra, you bit me? Oh boo, I didn't want to take a nap right now, but ok fine, whatever, I am a little full, so night night."

"Don't you go anywhere though, 'cause I want to finish eating you when I get up."
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:04 AM on February 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Actually informative youtube comment:
"They have no regard for any other animal whatsoever".

Actually that's true with one exception, their only friend is the honey-guide bird. They always leave some larvae for the bird after they raid a bee hive.

Honeyguide birds exhibit a unique pattern by calling out loudly and chattering that attracts the badger's attention.

Then flies ahead, toward the bees' nest, making sure the badger is following.

And they eat everything in the hive, honey, wax, and larvae.
posted by memebake at 5:08 AM on February 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


Um, it swallowed enough cobra venom to kill a human and instead of dying just took a nap and went right back to eating the cobra. This is the Chuck Norris of badgers.
posted by tommasz at 5:11 AM on February 16, 2011 [10 favorites]


...instead of dying just took a nap...

Honey badger don't nap, it takes power naps.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:16 AM on February 16, 2011


(A human, or honey badger can swallow a whole lotta snake venom and not be harmed. Snake venom doesn't work that way. Dude got bitten.)







(Unless you can be harmed by being really grossed out.)
posted by louche mustachio at 5:17 AM on February 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Beautiful.
posted by _Lasar at 5:21 AM on February 16, 2011


Shit. I will never again verb the noun "badger" unless I really, really mean it.
posted by The Potate at 5:21 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Badgers are the Wolverines of the animal kingdom
posted by rahnefan at 5:29 AM on February 16, 2011 [20 favorites]


Self-faved because I love myself and fear the honey badger
posted by rahnefan at 5:34 AM on February 16, 2011


Wolverines are also the wolverines of the animal kingdom, sort of the North American honey badgers if you will.
posted by ChrisHartley at 5:53 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Pretty badass is right.

My kind of nature documentary. Thanks, I needed that.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:03 AM on February 16, 2011


True fact: dinosaurs were not killed by a meteor, they were killed by honey badgers.

(motherfuckers have scouts?!)
posted by ryoshu at 6:05 AM on February 16, 2011 [4 favorites]


The Badass of the Week page probably has my favorite ever overview of the honey badger.
posted by palabradot at 6:23 AM on February 16, 2011




I love and fear the honey badger.
posted by The Whelk at 6:48 AM on February 16, 2011


just took a nap…This is the Chuck Norris of badgers.
The honey badger does not nap. It waits.
posted by adamrice at 6:58 AM on February 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Honey badger, you so crazy!
posted by jferg at 7:19 AM on February 16, 2011


Someone give this man a show on Animal Planet.

Planet Earth DVD options:

Select Commentator:
- Sigourney Weaver
- David Attenborough
- Randall from Youtube •

*play*
posted by clearly at 7:24 AM on February 16, 2011 [10 favorites]


WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING BADGERS!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:50 AM on February 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


In case you missed it.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:53 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


* quietly begins training cadre of honey badgers *
posted by everichon at 7:58 AM on February 16, 2011


I just thought of another way that drinking cobra venom can harm a person - if the honey badger catches you drinking his cobra venom he'll be all MOTHERFUCKER THAT'S MY COBRA VENOM and then he'll rip your goddamn face off and hack your fucking Gmail account.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:07 AM on February 16, 2011 [15 favorites]


The trick is to drink the venom when the honey badger is making sweet love to Chuck Norris. Then he probably won't notice.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:09 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Somewhere in South Florida, somebody is thinking, "Wow! That would make a great PET!!!"
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:10 AM on February 16, 2011 [7 favorites]


Oh great, then they'll release a bunch of honey badgers in the Everglades, and they'll mating with alligators.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:14 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


(Not to make a race of superdestrucitve ubercarnivores or anything. Just to be pervs.)
posted by louche mustachio at 8:15 AM on February 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Wow... I feel kind of like a hipster about the honey badger. I mean, I loved the honey badger before Randal made it all popular and now I feel like something's been taken from me. My little sister sent me this video.

Listen, the honey badger is absolutely not a topic to be treated to this sort of campy humor. The honey badger is second on my list of animal awesomeness, just after jack-jumper ants. I'm kind of disappointed by all this.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:32 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Honey badger don't care, Balrog.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:12 AM on February 16, 2011 [8 favorites]


Oh, the Honey Badgers are just crayzee." yt (SLYT - 3:21 - via jessamyn)

Via Jessamyn? Because that thought is messing with my reading of Metafilter.

[comments removed - Take it easy on the "house full of bees" jokes. Jessamyn don't care. Jessamyn don't give a shit. ]
posted by jessamyn
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:27 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


It's still badger day on flickr: B is for Badger.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 9:37 AM on February 16, 2011




I'm not at all comfortable with the whole camp thing going on here.
...
The subject is fascinating, and I would prefer it treated with frank curiosity.


Luckily, there are many venues available to you, such as most any nature documentary ever made. Perhaps, even, the documentary this film was originally featured in!
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 10:03 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


The teeth on that thing are absolutely terrifying.
posted by KingEdRa at 10:19 AM on February 16, 2011


Baby_Balrog: The honey badger is second on my list of animal awesomeness, just after jack-jumper ants.

EXPLAIN.
posted by zennie at 11:02 AM on February 16, 2011


I think the name and Wikipedia explains it all:
Jack jumper ants are carnivores and scavengers. They sting their victims with venom that is similar to stings of wasps, bees, and fire ants. Their venom is one of the most powerful in the insect world. Jack jumper ants are proven hunters; even wasps are hunted and devoured. These ants have excellent vision, which aids them in hunting.

The symptoms of the stings of the ants are similar to stings of the fire ants. The reaction is local swelling and reddening, and fever, followed by formation of a blister. The heart rate increases, and blood pressure falls rapidly. In individuals allergic to the venom (about 3% of cases), a sting sometimes causes anaphylactic shock.[1] Although 3% may seem small, jack jumper ants cause more deaths in Tasmania than spiders, snakes, wasps, and sharks combined.[2]
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:32 AM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


I demand that somebody find that alleged video of the badger losing his shit in the tree -- ASAP.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 12:29 PM on February 16, 2011


A little investigation reveals that "Randall" is a character of actor/comedian Christopher Zane Gordon.
posted by amro at 12:37 PM on February 16, 2011



The teeth on that thing are absolutely terrifying.



BUT IT'S THE BALLS ON THAT THING THAT MAKE IT DANGEROUS.
posted by louche mustachio at 1:08 PM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


I demand that somebody find that alleged video of the badger losing his shit in the tree -- ASAP.

Seconded.
posted by MsVader at 2:25 PM on February 16, 2011


I demand that somebody find that alleged video of the badger losing his shit in the tree -- ASAP.

Here you go!
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:08 PM on February 16, 2011 [3 favorites]


Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese: "I demand that somebody find that alleged video of the badger losing his shit in the tree -- ASAP."

I found one video where Honey Badger was raiding a leopard's food in a tree, and then the leopard comes home and he's like, "Whaaaaat?" But the Honey Badger doesn't give a shit about no leopard! Honey Badger don't care! He farts at it! Honey Badger is badass.
posted by not_on_display at 3:08 PM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Via Jessamyn? Because that thought is messing with my reading of Metafilter.

How do you think I maintain my composure? I train these things to not give a shit.
posted by jessamyn at 3:32 PM on February 16, 2011 [8 favorites]


Wolverines are also the wolverines of the animal kingdom, sort of the North American honey badgers if you will.

The only thing wolverines have over honey badgers is that nobody, anywhere, is going to call their plucky young band of all-American freedom fighters the Honey Badgers.
posted by Ritchie at 3:44 PM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


The only thing wolverines have over honey badgers is that nobody, anywhere, is going to call their plucky young band of all-American freedom fighters the Honey Badgers.

Well.... they're not all-American freedom fighters, but close enough?
posted by Lemurrhea at 4:25 PM on February 16, 2011


You know how if a pitbull bites you, you should stick your thumb up its butt to make it let go?
Do not do this with a honey badger, just don't.
posted by Iron Rat at 4:31 PM on February 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


You know how if a pitbull bites you, you should stick your thumb up its butt to make it let go?

what
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:47 PM on February 16, 2011


Ah, a chance to post my favourite war story of recent times: British accused of planting man-eating badgers in Iraq
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:49 PM on February 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


Iron Rat: "You know how if a pitbull bites you, you should stick your thumb up its butt to make it let go?"

I blame Ask MetaFilter!
posted by not_on_display at 5:04 PM on February 16, 2011


Iron Rat: "You know how if a pitbull bites you, you should stick your thumb up its butt to make it let go?"

No. No that is not something I know, thank you very much!
posted by brundlefly at 5:06 PM on February 16, 2011


I learned all about the honey badger from Animals Are Beautiful People, a nature documentary made way back in 1974, and directed by Jamie Uys (The Gods Must Be Crazy). It also contains such gems as stumbling drunk elephants and baboons. And how to trick a baboon into leading you to water if you should find yourself stranded in the Kalahari desert. Seriously, watch the movie. You're gonna love it.
posted by Surinam Toad at 7:56 PM on February 16, 2011 [13 favorites]


Whoa, I grew up with Animals Are Beautiful People and couldn't find it on DVD when I looked for it a bit ago! For some reason I didn't check YouTube. Best nature documentary ever.
posted by miyabo at 9:07 PM on February 16, 2011


Haha, I saw this on ONTD a few days ago..
posted by nile_red at 12:28 AM on February 17, 2011


Honey Badgers make me proud to be a mammal. So does Randal.
posted by chairface at 2:35 PM on February 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Surinam Toad: "And how to trick a baboon into leading you to water if you should find yourself stranded in the Kalahari desert."

Holy shit. I totally remember seeing that as a kid. Thanks for linking it!
posted by brundlefly at 4:04 PM on February 17, 2011


best possible use for Bach Cello Suite #6 I can think of
posted by Thomas Tallis is my Homeboy at 7:11 AM on February 18, 2011 [2 favorites]


This is a powerful memelet, as when I was just walking past some rabbits sitting out on the lawn in the cold nasty rain, all fluffed up and bunny imperious, I said to myself "yeah it's nasty out, but bunny rabbit don't give a shit" and cracked myself right up. This means I have to show it to everyone I know, so that I can say it out loud and amuse everyone else too.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 8:21 PM on February 20, 2011 [3 favorites]


We found a book that seemed on topic at the local library book sale....
posted by jessamyn at 5:09 PM on February 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


Honey Badger is now a bird machine postermammal, still don't give a shit.
Look at that silkscreened fuck.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 3:04 PM on March 4, 2011 [2 favorites]


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