We need to go back in time and solve a thing!

February 19, 2011 8:03 AM

Kate Beaton of Hark! A Vagrant has never seen Doctor Who, so she drew this.
posted by Artw (128 comments total)

I've never seen it either, is that comic fairly accurate?
posted by pwally at 8:06 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

surprisingly so.
posted by The Whelk at 8:07 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeah, she's good. All that's missing is a pocket size tool that can open things and solve a vriety of problems.
posted by piratebowling at 8:09 AM on February 19, 2011

I love her stuff.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:10 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I quite like 1980s businesswoman comics and young ada lovelace.
posted by Artw at 8:18 AM on February 19, 2011 [6 favorites]

A poet!
posted by device55 at 8:19 AM on February 19, 2011

Objections:
Daleks neither beep nor boop.
The Doctor and Hot Assistant do not do the Wonder Twin Powers fist bump.

Otherwise, spot on.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:21 AM on February 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

I haven't ever seen it and this is exactly how I imagined it to be as well.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 8:22 AM on February 19, 2011 [8 favorites]

The Doctor does not kick.
posted by flaterik at 8:22 AM on February 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

That's about everything I know about Dr. Who. I know he's an alien, not an Englishman. Nerd blind spot, I guess.
posted by SkinnerSan at 8:22 AM on February 19, 2011

The Doctor does not kick.

He uses SMARTS

sometimes Love.

...occasionally shouting.

But no kicking! You can't solve problems by punching!
posted by The Whelk at 8:23 AM on February 19, 2011 [18 favorites]

It is like she combined everything I love about all of my favorite doctors! Especially the kicking of the Daleks, that was very 5-ish.

Although it is maybe poor nerd form of me, I kind of hope she never does watch Doctor Who, because I don't want her idealized vision of it ruined.
posted by Mizu at 8:23 AM on February 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

But no kicking! You can't solve problems by punching!

Which is why he kicks. Duh.
posted by kafziel at 8:25 AM on February 19, 2011

flaterik: "The Doctor does not kick"

Ahhh, but you're forgetting the massive amount of kicking that went on during the first few years. Sadly, those episodes are still missing in action. But suffice it to say: a lot of shit done got kicked.
posted by barnacles at 8:26 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Actually I believe #3 knew Venusian Aikido....
posted by The otter lady at 8:26 AM on February 19, 2011

She's brilliant.
posted by rtha at 8:29 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

For garbage can robots, there's always the Quarks.
posted by Artw at 8:29 AM on February 19, 2011

The Doctor wishes to protect the earthling savages he patronises from contact with more advanced civilisations, and demands aliens leave the earth almost every time they arrive whilst having his own ongoing disputes with entire species. In this way, he denies the Earth the ability to take their place in the galactic society, and thus keeps them hugely poor due to lack of technology.

The Doctor: a racist and a villain, who leaves millions on earth to die due to inadequate medicine and technology.
posted by jaduncan at 8:30 AM on February 19, 2011 [41 favorites]

Where is K-9?
I used to sneak out of bed to catch a glimpse of Doctor Who cause of K-9 (and the theme music)
posted by Bunsen Betty at 8:32 AM on February 19, 2011

The Doctor's clothes seems to be a conflation of the Third through Fifth Doctors' costumes, with a bit of Ten's savoir-faire. But Beaton did a fine job rendering Matt Smith's flippy part.
posted by Iridic at 8:33 AM on February 19, 2011

Actually, that was an accurate account of the plot of the "Doctor Who" TV movie that the FOX network ran in 1999. I was surprised it didn't go to series; much more FOX-like than "Firefly"... (obligatory)
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:35 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

jaduncan - Heh. I think you'd like Paul Cornell's take on the third Doctor.
posted by Artw at 8:36 AM on February 19, 2011

He uses SMARTS

sometimes Love.

...occasionally shouting.

Intellect and romance over brute force and cynicism is the phrase you're looking for.
posted by curious nu at 8:37 AM on February 19, 2011 [28 favorites]

She's actually got it pretty wrong. The show's not about going into the past to prevent things. It's about traveling in time and space and having adventures, but he almost never has anything important in mind when he sets out, let alone a mission.

can see how you might imagine that a typical plot for a show about a world-saving time travel might start with "we have to go back into the past to prevent something", but in fact, that's almost completely unknown. At least one of the better stories ("Father's Day") is about exactly why you do not want to do that.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:46 AM on February 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

She subsequently posted this dispatch from the Danger Zone.

> The Doctor and Hot Assistant do not do the Wonder Twin Powers fist bump.

Yeah, well, maybe they should. [fist bump] [tardis noise] [bitchin’ guitar solo]
posted by sidesh0w at 8:49 AM on February 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

Her interpretation seems much more interesting to me than the actual show, which I have never seen and have no desire to see.
posted by Sternmeyer at 8:50 AM on February 19, 2011

"Her interpretation seems much more interesting to me than the actual show, which I have never seen and have no desire to see."

...in fact, I don't even own a TV!
posted by jaduncan at 8:53 AM on February 19, 2011 [14 favorites]

To follow up on George Spiggot, the theme of not going back in time just to fix a wrong because of the potentially catastrophic effects is a fairly constant theme, especially with the 1st and 2nd Doctor's NuWho companion.
posted by jmd82 at 8:54 AM on February 19, 2011

Is not owning a TV something I'd have to own a TV to understand?
posted by DNye at 8:55 AM on February 19, 2011 [19 favorites]

I've seen a couple episodes, mainly from watching PBS as a little kid.

It's interesting how people learn the story lines of shows they've never seen through osmosis. Sara Benincasa did a video where she describes Lost entirely based on what she's heard her friends say about it, it was pretty entertaining -- as someone who's never seen seen Lost
posted by delmoi at 8:56 AM on February 19, 2011

...in fact, I don't even own a TV!

I went back in time and killed Logie Baird.
posted by Artw at 8:57 AM on February 19, 2011

Another inaccuracy is that the basketball would have killed about 20 innocent bystanders.
posted by dirigibleman at 9:02 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I went back in time and killed Logie Baird.

I'm afraid it wasn't a nexus in time - history must have adjusted as mine still works. Having said that, for some reason the brand appears to have changed to Marconi?
posted by jaduncan at 9:02 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Was I the only one who looked at Beaton's Eleven and thought "scarves are cool!"?
posted by immlass at 9:14 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I WOULD LIKE A 'LET'S GO HOME, I GUESS' T-SHIRT PLEASE KTHXBAI
posted by Jofus at 9:16 AM on February 19, 2011 [7 favorites]

I've also never seen it, outside of an odd episode or two. This post prompted me to look it up on Wikipedia, from which I have ascertained the following facts:

(1) A Time Lord can only have 13 bodies (although there's hints of one Time Lord who may have had more).

(2) We're currently on doctor #11 since 1963.

(3) Doctor #5 explicitly confirmed that this was his fifth body.

(4) Doctor Who has lived for centuries.

So, he had gone for centuries without using up a single one of his very limited number of bodies, and then suddenly goes through over three-quarters of them in less than fifty years.

I think he's tired of life, and wants to die.
posted by Flunkie at 9:16 AM on February 19, 2011 [30 favorites]

If she had seen the series, then I'll bet that at least three of the pages would be devoted to them running. Down hallways, across fields and to or away from something. And more hallways.
"We need to go back in time to solve a thing!" was good too.
posted by Zack_Replica at 9:16 AM on February 19, 2011

I have a friend who's never seen Star Wars. Sadly she is not a brilliant comic artist, but I bet we could get her drunk and give her a box of crayons.
posted by hydrophonic at 9:19 AM on February 19, 2011 [6 favorites]

Excellent! I hope Moff sees this and has the Duke of Wellington attacked by a basketball or has 11 and Amy fist bump.
posted by painquale at 9:21 AM on February 19, 2011 [7 favorites]

So, he had gone for centuries without using up a single one of his very limited number of bodies, and then suddenly goes through over three-quarters of them in less than fifty years.


You get one body/personality who takes care of things, and then the rest just *ruin* it. Doctor One would be livid! Now Captain Jack, there's a man who really would end up craving death. There's an episode where he is imprisioned in concrete that sets around him...years of waking up, suffocating, waking up and suffocating again, never knowing if it will end, and with no visual stimuli at all. He's surprisingly chirpy afterwards, all things considered.
posted by jaduncan at 9:22 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

The Doctor certainly kicked very well in last season's episode called "The Lodger". He's very good playing soccer.
posted by inturnaround at 9:23 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

More also, Kate Beaton is fantasgreat.
posted by inturnaround at 9:23 AM on February 19, 2011

So, he had gone for centuries without using up a single one of his very limited number of bodies, and then suddenly goes through over three-quarters of them in less than fifty years.

I think he's tired of life, and wants to die.

The funny part is that the First Doctor's story arc was very much about him becoming a better, less crusty person. Learning to become a hero has made him younger and better-looking, but it has also severely shortened his lifespan(s). Faced with the idea that owning a cool time machine means you have to actually use it for good, he's holding a fire sale on himself.

The Doctor: a racist and a villain, who leaves millions on earth to die due to inadequate medicine and technology.

In one of the comics, they show how the Time Lords are appalled by the Doctor's opposition to the Cybermen. After all, after the Cybermen take over, it'll only be three million years until universal peace is achieved. It's all a matter of perspective.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:24 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

According to India, age 4, Doctor Who is "a man who lives in a box and has lots of crazy ideas". She did watch the Christmas special and the proms with me, mind.
posted by Artw at 9:25 AM on February 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

I don't know if you saw the making of, but in real life Matt Smith was a youth football/soccer player for Nottingham Forest and Leicester City (out due to injury).
posted by jaduncan at 9:26 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

can see how you might imagine that a typical plot for a show about a world-saving time travel might start with "we have to go back into the past to prevent something", but in fact, that's almost completely unknown. At least one of the better stories ("Father's Day") is about exactly why you do not want to do that.

Am I the only one lukewarm about Father's Day? I always hear it cited as the ep that proves that RTD knew what he was doing with time travel, but the whole time travel dragony things and Rose working out her Daddy issues kind of left me cold. I do agree that it's a good episode to explain why the Doctor usually doesn't use time travel as you might intuitively think you would. When I first started watching, I found it very hard to wrap my head around the way he's really just a time traveling tourist.

Anyway, this comic is awesome.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:35 AM on February 19, 2011

The cartoon was reasonably accurate except for a few obvious errors that I would have expected even someone who had never seen a single episode to be well aware of, since they are so well known by all the world. Namely:

1) Nyssa and Romana I were actually the only companions to ever meet their dopplegangers, although two of the doctors did (three if you count "The Arc of Infinity".)

2) Only two Play School presenters have been killed by the Daleks, not three -- Brian Cant in "The Daleks Masterplan" and Chloe Ashcroft in "Resurrection of the Daleks".

3) The drawing of Zodin is necessarily inaccurate because, of course, Zodin was never seen in the show; the second Doctor simply mentioned "the terrible Zodin" while talking to the Brigadier right before the Time Scoop got them.

4) The *Hallucinogenic* lipstick was used by River song. The *Sonic* lipstick was used by Sarah Jane Smith.

5) The first Doctor got a toothache from Chumblies; it was, of course, the fourth Doctor who liked Jelly Babies.

I trust these problems with this otherwise delightful comic will be corrected shortly.
posted by kyrademon at 9:40 AM on February 19, 2011 [12 favorites]

Oooh, Kate Beaton and Doctor Who: too great tastes that taste great together. And, yeah, this is pretty dang accurate.

The Doctor does not kick.

I interpreted the kick as a visual metaphor for the Doctor doing something totally badass. After all, the central theme of the show is "The Doctor is a badass. Don't fuck with the doctor."

It's much like the Blade franchise in this way.
posted by brundlefly at 9:43 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

So, he had gone for centuries without using up a single one of his very limited number of bodies, and then suddenly goes through over three-quarters of them in less than fifty years.

That's fifty years that we know of. When you're dealing with a time traveler, every minute between 1963 and 2011 not depicted or accounted for by the show could contain eons' worth of adventures. (This is, in fact, the rationale for all the new audio dramas about Doctors 5-8.)
posted by Iridic at 9:50 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

he's holding a fire sale on himself.

Would buy.
posted by you're a kitty! at 9:55 AM on February 19, 2011

(This is, in fact, the rationale for all the new audio dramas about Doctors 5-8.)

And according to the audio dramas, he spent at least 600 years on some planet with squid-people!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:04 AM on February 19, 2011

Ironically, while never having seen "Doctor Who" on TV, Kate Beaton has done a lot of time traveling herself to research all her historical comics. But she doesn't use a TARDIS, she bought a second-hand DeLorean in '97.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:06 AM on February 19, 2011

she bought a second-hand DeLorean in '97.

She wants to be careful, some of them have lightning strike damage covered up before sale.
posted by jaduncan at 10:16 AM on February 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

The awesome thing is that she sort of did this joke on herself by letting her friend's Korean ESL class re-write the dialogue to some of her strips:

Oh! My God! Monster is Girl!
posted by straight at 10:17 AM on February 19, 2011 [7 favorites]

Just because the author/cartoonist hadn't seen the show doesn't mean that other people, who also haven't seen the show, would likt this. Entirely out of context, it doesn't really mean that much., and thus is only as enjoyable as it would be if it were about something uniquely personal to the author.
posted by zennie at 10:21 AM on February 19, 2011

Are there any serious non-violent television heros that've been invented since Dr. Who and MacGyver?
posted by jeffburdges at 10:28 AM on February 19, 2011

Just because the author/cartoonist hadn't seen the show doesn't mean that other people, who also haven't seen the show, would likt this.

I have not seen the show and I like this. Maybe I wouldn't if I'd never heard of the show, but even then, it's still by Kate Beaton and that pretty much guarantees I'll like it.
posted by girih knot at 10:30 AM on February 19, 2011

MacGyver was serious?
posted by neuromodulator at 10:36 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

That's exactly right if it were another show.

She'd have been closer if she drew Gulliver's Travels. It has wonder, inspiration, and BIG ideas. It constantly reinforces the questioning of authority and the destruction of tyrants. The real strength of the show is that it has always been about this, despite budget and internal fighting at the BBC.

If it were about telling the Duke of Wellington to duck, then it would have been canceled as quickly as the Doctor Who rip-off, Voyagers, was.

Her criticisms would be valid if she watched the show, which, apparently, it would bust her ass to do so.
posted by CarlRossi at 10:42 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Kate just tweeted (as @beatonna) " I watched a real episode of Doctor Who late last night, the doctor and his assistant went back in time and bothered Vincent Van Gogh. "
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:45 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wow. She managed to find one of the few episodes where they actually do go back in time in pursuit of a problem discovered in the present. Life is so perverse. Or maybe confirmation bias is a real force in the universe guiding our hand...
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:48 AM on February 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

Her criticisms would be valid if she watched the show, which, apparently, it would bust her ass to do so.

Um, what criticisms?
posted by brennen at 10:50 AM on February 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

MacGyver was serious?

Could we go with "awesome" instead?
posted by brennen at 10:50 AM on February 19, 2011

She's not criticizing the show. She's telling you she's never even seen the show. She's talking about how the show sounds from hearing the snippets of it that she hears, and she's mocking the weirdness of her own envisioning as much as anything else.

She's not putting anybody down, and she's not putting the show down. Really. She's just making a joke about her own limited information.
posted by Linda_Holmes at 10:51 AM on February 19, 2011 [18 favorites]

I was thinking that it's funny how she watches that and misses the theme of the lost, lonely traveler (As shown by the Doctor, the Alien and Van Gogh). But no, they "bothered Van Gogh". She makes it sound as though they poked him with a stick a couple times.
posted by CarlRossi at 10:52 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

She's not putting anybody down, and she's not putting the show down. Really. She's just making a joke about her own limited information.

I choose to believe that CarlRossi is doing the same with his over-seriousness.
posted by brundlefly at 10:57 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Also, please don't miss The Adventures of Sexy Batman.
posted by straight at 10:58 AM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I guess it would have killed her to have read some Batman and discovered that he doesn't even wear assless chaps?
posted by DNye at 11:03 AM on February 19, 2011 [18 favorites]

She's talking about how the show sounds from hearing the snippets of it that she hears

And what she's saying is that the show is simple, rote, and relies on the sex appeal of a sidekick. She writes, "I've never seen Doctor Who but this is what I picture" Meaning EVERY episode is travel through time, meet historical figure, fight garbage can robots (She might mean the Daleks, she might mean cheap effects, or both), and then in a big finish, "I have no idea what the deal with those robots is" "I dunno man" "Let's go home, I guess!"

I'm just saying that she could watch the show. She'd find something more than a theme-less mess. I've never heard of her comic, but as I've been poking around, I'm interested in reading more. Good stuff.
posted by CarlRossi at 11:05 AM on February 19, 2011

Actually, that's not true. It turns out I have read her before. Macbeth is awesome.
posted by CarlRossi at 11:10 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hot Sidekick Assistant. Sigh. But I suppose if the romantic tension keeps people interested and thereby keeps the show on the air, I can put up with it...

Awesome post.

Also, jaduncan's comment is brilliant. It's the British Empire all over again, I can't believe I've never realized that. You poor British bastards, will you ever escape from history? AHAHAHAHAHAHA oh wait I'm an American.
posted by XMLicious at 11:12 AM on February 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

I haven't seen Dr. Who since the mid 80's and I find that her cartoon largely jibes with my mis-conception of the show.
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:23 AM on February 19, 2011

"We use this to go back in time, but not in a Bill & Ted sort of way."
"Yes, it's probably very different."

Hilarious. Is it true? I've never seen Who.
posted by EatTheWeak at 11:23 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Her cartoon style is really impressive. I love how she gets facial stuff just perfect.

Here is my, admittingly, very second class take on this. I've never actually seen an episode of Sex and the City, but from what I've picked up, it goes something like this.
posted by damn dirty ape at 11:28 AM on February 19, 2011 [13 favorites]

Hey, my roomie was talking once about how the Doctor had gotten a "new companion" and explaining that he was this ageless alien, yet totally kick-ass guy who always had a teenaged human girl as a companion.

For many years, Doctor Who was cemented in my imagination as a sort of reverse British/alien Captain Kirk with a continual string of earthling vixens to seduce. (I know this is not really true.)
posted by clerestory at 11:31 AM on February 19, 2011

Kate Beaton is rad.

As a kid who traded in mimeographed Tom Baker scarf patterns in the seventh grade, and attended Whovian gatherings at UWM when I was by far the youngest idiot there, I have to say: as an adult, the current Dr. Who is impossibly cheesy. Like, the curds have not even really clotted. And we tried! We gave it three incarnations! Too much, and far too little.

And "Torchwood", oh, jesus fuck. THE CHEESE.
posted by everichon at 11:32 AM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Here is my, admittingly, very second class take on this. I've never actually seen an episode of Sex and the City, but from what I've picked up, it goes something like this.

More or less, but before learning the life lesson she types a question relating to it on her laptop.
posted by Artw at 11:34 AM on February 19, 2011

The Doctor: a racist and a villain, who leaves millions on earth to die due to inadequate medicine and technology.

It makes perfect sense if you assume, as I do, that the Doctor sees human beings as pets. Do you struggle to lift the race of hamsters from their miserable existence as wee fuzzy things that run in wheels and die of something called 'wet-tail'? No. If you care about hamsters at all, you have one and then it dies and you go get another one. You might be a little sad, but not sad enough to try to liberate rodent-kind.

Eccleston brought out that aspect of the Doctor brilliantly, in my opinion.
posted by winna at 11:49 AM on February 19, 2011 [10 favorites]

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it)
posted by Flunkie at 12:06 PM on February 19, 2011

You should understand, at least, that she takes no liberties whatsoever with Nancy Drew.
posted by ardgedee at 12:09 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wow! The British Empire makes sense too if you realize that they just saw Indians, Native Americans, and Australian aborigines as pets! (I know that you aren't saying anything about imperialism, was going to put a smiley at the end here but that would be a bit too macabre.)
posted by XMLicious at 12:10 PM on February 19, 2011

It makes perfect sense if you assume, as I do, that the Doctor sees human beings as pets.

That's sort of how I interpreted it as well, it's also the reason why I found the romance between the Doctor and Rose a little. . .odd. He's 900. She's 20. That's not pedophilia, that's bestiality.
posted by Ndwright at 12:34 PM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

The Doctor does not kick.

Yes he did.
posted by PsychoKick at 12:34 PM on February 19, 2011

For many years, Doctor Who was cemented in my imagination as a sort of reverse British/alien Captain Kirk with a continual string of earthling vixens to seduce.

...I found the romance between the Doctor and Rose a little. . .odd. He's 900. She's 20.

Oh, it's totally hip these days for even ageless immortal geriatric monsters to hit on teenagers, as long as they sparkle or otherwise seem hot somehow. Have you seen Silvio Berlusconi in the news?
posted by XMLicious at 12:39 PM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

jeffburdges: "Are there any serious non-violent television heros that've been invented since Dr. Who and MacGyver?"

Sam Beckett in Quantum Leap.

EatTheWeak: ""We use this to go back in time, but not in a Bill & Ted sort of way."
"Yes, it's probably very different."

Hilarious. Is it true? I've never seen Who."

Well, Doctor Who has been on television since 1963, so, it's the other way around. It's more that the creators of Bill and Ted were doing a kind of Doctor Who joke by having Bill and Ted travel in a phone booth.
posted by tzikeh at 12:42 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Or maybe Doctor Who went forward in time and learned how to imitate Bill and Ted.
posted by Flunkie at 12:49 PM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

No ten-foot scarf? Exterminate!
posted by Cranberry at 12:56 PM on February 19, 2011

I've never seen the show, but I should point out that (apparently) it is only the recent series that has placed as strong an emphasis on semi-flirty, unrequited relationships with sexy young female assistants. In previous incarnations, the nature of the Doctor's relationships with his companions has ranged from granddaughter, to kidnapping victim, student, colleague, superior, and yes, lover as well. He has also had male (Jamie, Harry, Adric, Turlough) and robotic companions (K-9).

I would say that the current narrowing of the role of the assistant has somewhat weakened the narrative strength of what is otherwise an excellent program, but never having seen it, I wouldn't know.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:02 PM on February 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

If only she knew that Daleks now come in five designer colors. Like early 00s iMacs, but I bet your iMac's text-to-speech is higher quality.
posted by willhopkins at 1:07 PM on February 19, 2011

I've never seen the show, but I should point out that (apparently) it is only the recent series that has placed as strong an emphasis on semi-flirty, unrequited relationships with sexy young female assistants.

As someone who's only seen the recent shows, that's my understanding as well. My favorite of the modern companions has been Donna Noble, partially because there wasn't a romantic element.
posted by brundlefly at 1:09 PM on February 19, 2011

So, he had gone for centuries without using up a single one of his very limited number of bodies, and then suddenly goes through over three-quarters of them in less than fifty years.

I haven't really seen the show, but isn't he always traveling through time? Isn't that just fifty concurrent years here? If he's always bouncing around, does he ever go somewhere (somewhen) else for a few decades on vacation?
posted by ODiV at 1:16 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Speaking of time travel, The Doctor and his Hot Assistant travel back in time and land "with not a moment to lose?"

A little more study of the Tardis manual seems in order.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:23 PM on February 19, 2011

Speaking of time travel, The Doctor and his Hot Assistant travel back in time and land "with not a moment to lose?"

A little more study of the Tardis manual seems in order.

They land with not a moment to lose all the time. Hence all the running. The Doctor is not always especially good at piloting the TARDIS precisely.

Plus, the Doctor threw the TARDIS manual into a supernova, because he disagreed with it.
posted by maqsarian at 1:56 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Kate Beaton of Hark! A Vagrant has never seen Doctor Who...

The Doctor does not kick.

She's actually got it pretty wrong. The show's not about going into the past to prevent things. It's about traveling in time and space and having adventures, but he almost never has anything important in mind when he sets out, let alone a mission.

The cartoon was reasonably accurate except for a few obvious errors that I would have expected even someone who had never seen a single episode to be well aware of, since they are so well known by all the world. Namely:

That's exactly right if it were another show.

A little more study of the Tardis manual seems in order.

ITT is why people hate nerds
posted by girih knot at 2:04 PM on February 19, 2011 [13 favorites]

*snort* Uhhhhh... not really..... People obviously hate nerds because...

Ok, I got nothing.
posted by brundlefly at 2:16 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Some people, sure. But it's also why some people love nerds.
posted by Flunkie at 2:17 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love nerds for a lot of reasons, but pedantry about cultish sci-fi shows is not one of them.
posted by girih knot at 2:21 PM on February 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

Congratulations?
posted by Flunkie at 2:23 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

damn dirty ape, that's awesome. My favorite part is that I can't quite make out whether she's saying she learned a life lesson most people learn "in their teens or 20's" or "in their teens or 70's".
posted by straight at 2:43 PM on February 19, 2011

She writes, "I've never seen Doctor Who but this is what I picture" Meaning EVERY episode is travel through time, meet historical figure, fight garbage can robots (She might mean the Daleks, she might mean cheap effects, or both), and then in a big finish, "I have no idea what the deal with those robots is" "I dunno man" "Let's go home, I guess!"

Based on what I first heard from people I knew who watched about it and talked about it in front of me and discussed it online in places I read, I'd have written that as EVERY episode involving the Doctor and Jack having some hot time-traveller-on-time-traveller sex, broken up with interludes for threesomes with the Master. What people emphasize depends on where you hang out and who you listen to.

/old skool fan, meh about the RTD/Tennant run but having a lot of fun with the new Moffat stuff, and well aware that the slash is not canonical in either series
posted by immlass at 3:12 PM on February 19, 2011

George_Spiggott: "She's actually got it pretty wrong."

Okay, but we give her an "A" for effort.

And because she's awesome.
posted by bwg at 3:29 PM on February 19, 2011

I loved it. Pretty accurate for a blindfolded person.

You know, it's funny... Before he tried out for the part, Matt Smith had essentially the same impression of Doctor Who as Kate beacon did. Nerdist interview
posted by BYiro at 4:06 PM on February 19, 2011

Love it or hate it, girih knot, I am nonetheless pleased that you realized my comment was, in fact, completely serious.

Jelly Baby?
posted by kyrademon at 4:38 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love nerds for a lot of reasons, but pedantry about cultish sci-fi shows is not one of them.

It's only cultish in the US. I think it's pretty mainstream in the UK, and it's popular in Aus.
I started watching with Eccleston and I love the show. Just pure JOY and occasionally pathos. I'd like to see older Doctors. I think there was an AskMe about getting into it?

Delightful comic, as always with Hark a Vagrant. Love the art
Until I saw Doctor Who I never got the joke about Bill & Ted traveling in a phone box
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:47 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

As a kid who traded in mimeographed Tom Baker scarf patterns in the seventh grade, and attended Whovian gatherings at UWM when I was by far the youngest idiot there

Christ on a fucking stick, we've probably met in real life. I was the fifth-grader wearing the Tom Baker scarf for which I learned to knit. I was being escorted by my endlessly patient mother.

Seriously, endlessly patient. She's the one that finished the scarf.
posted by stet at 4:50 PM on February 19, 2011

My mom knit me a Tom Baker scarf when I was in 5th grade. It's still longer than I am.
posted by rtha at 5:23 PM on February 19, 2011 [3 favorites]

I don't go around ragging on whatever it is this person likes. I bet its soccer or some other delightfully non mainstream sport. This is the kind of person that has "watching parties" when olympic curling is on. This is the kind of person that if you go to their house, serves bruscetta and tells you they bought everything at the farmers market and it's all local, and won't fucking stop talking about it. This is the kind of person that thinks vaccination is a bad idea. Quit fucking knitting and get off etsy and watch Doctor Who already.

Keep in mind I have never met whoever drew that cartoon so I could be wrong, but that won't stop me from posting my opinions on the Internet for yuks.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:47 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've met her. She let me super dorky friend take a picture with her at a con, then happily autographed a comic he bought from her--of the Bronte sisters, naturally.

I don't think she's ragging on Doctor Who at all. More, I don't think she's the strawman hipsterette you think she is.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 7:13 PM on February 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

Mrs. Everichon here:

I have to give some backstory about my husband. He was a kid growing up in 1970's Milwaukee and who went to school on Halloween in his Storm Trooper costume his Dad made out of long johns and electrical tape. As he grew his fascinations grew to include Dr. Who and somewhere around the age of 12 his Dad dropped him off at UWM for the day...alone...to find his way around the geeks and nerds without tripping over his scarf. When he grew up and got married and (duh) got a job in the Tech industry he went back to his roots and viewed the "new" Doctor Who only to find you can never return from whence you came.<3
posted by everichon at 7:16 PM on February 19, 2011

This is the best Dr. Who thing I've ever seen!
posted by Mister_A at 7:38 PM on February 19, 2011

I have no idea why anyone is finding this comic in any way offensive, though perhaps I missed the panel wherein Kate Beaton draws a middle finger with a text bubble of FUCK EVERYONE WHO WATCHES THIS FUCKING HORRIBLE SHOW, BEATON OUT!!!.

It is the exact same brand of charm as Star Wars: Retold (By Someone Who Hasn't Seen It).
posted by monster truck weekend at 7:40 PM on February 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

And yeah, chill out everybody! She's not hating on the show! That's pretty much my understanding of the show as well, though I can't draw like Ms. Beaton. But if you asked me, I'd come up with something similar. Because a certain amount of stereotypical/iconic Dr. Who stuff seeps through to nerds of all stripes, that's all. Jeez.
posted by Mister_A at 7:43 PM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Maybe I should relax. I'm even angrier than when they left Tom Bombadil out of the LOTR movies. What the fuck is that Tom Bombadil is the central character,without him Frodo would have been dead before they even got to Bree! And what about when they kicked Saruman out of The Shire, how did they leave that shit out.

She should watch a couple episodes though.
posted by Ad hominem at 8:30 PM on February 19, 2011

This is the kind of person that has "watching parties" when olympic curling is on.

What are you talking about curling is awesome.

Also: Am pretty sure that there is not a sport on the face of the planet more mainstream than soccer. I mean, I live in America too, but c'mon.
posted by brennen at 11:32 PM on February 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Thank you, monster truck weekend. Star Wars: Retold made me laugh so hard that I need to return the favor: Star Wars Retold by a 3-Year-Old-Girl.
posted by straight at 11:32 PM on February 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I was pretty angry about Tom Bombadil too.
posted by brennen at 11:33 PM on February 19, 2011

for christ's sake people it is okay to have not seen a tv show
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 12:02 AM on February 20, 2011 [4 favorites]

FAMOUS MONSTER: "for christ's sake people it is okay to have not seen a tv sho"

Indeed: I too have never seen an episode of Dr. Who.
posted by bwg at 2:04 AM on February 20, 2011

Being British where Who is like a such a ubiquitous part of the world as red post boxes I just have a hard time comprehending the fact someone could not have seen it. I know at some level there must be some people who haven't... 'those' people who have never owned a television, the poor souls who grew up in the Terrible Years when it wasn't on TV (but I'm sure even they must have caught at least one of the new ones) or say still undiscovered tribes in the Amazon jungle... but deep down I just can't accept it.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:42 AM on February 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

The style reminds me of the epic video game comics by hiimdaisy:
Metal Gear Solid
Persona 4
Phoenix Wright
and others

I haven't even played MGS and found the comics hilarious, but the Persona ones are simply sublime.
posted by dmit at 3:36 AM on February 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

Thank you, monster truck weekend. Star Wars: Retold made me laugh so hard that I need to return the favor: Star Wars Retold by a 3-Year-Old-Girl.

"No one's going to buy R2 and the shiny guy! The shiny guy always worries."

That is so tremendous, thank you.

Also, Persona 4 is the best game ever, and I will fight the shadow of anyone who says otherwise. JUST ACCEPT IT AND YOURSELF
posted by Errant at 4:21 AM on February 20, 2011

Perhaps this would help?

The Doctor Who Infographic
posted by blue_beetle at 3:12 PM on February 20, 2011

If Kate Beaton's clever sketches enrage you do not look at this map of the TARDIS. (I'm sure I remember finding that through MeFi, but Google doesn't show any links to that page from here, so perhaps there is a deleted thread with people exploding in it somewhere...)
posted by XMLicious at 6:42 PM on February 20, 2011

The thread's right here, XMLicious.
posted by maqsarian at 6:48 PM on February 20, 2011

Ha, bad search on my part. Thinking back, I probably assumed that the person posting something like that would have included the tag "tardis".
posted by XMLicious at 10:22 PM on February 20, 2011

Oh, and I guess that the Google "Find pages that link to this page" index doesn't work very well.
posted by XMLicious at 10:27 PM on February 20, 2011

That infographic implies that time lords have some sort of giant nose problem.
posted by flaterik at 11:56 AM on February 21, 2011 [2 favorites]

Stopping by a little late to agree that Kate Beaton is, as always, awesome. And, though the only Doctor Who I've seen is a smattering of Tom Baker many years ago and I'm probably really not qualified to judge, I'd like to say that I think kyrademon's work is pretty great too.
posted by Songdog at 6:05 PM on February 21, 2011