Now You Can Clone Bieber!
February 23, 2011 8:51 PM   Subscribe

This post was deleted for the following reason: Yeah, people don't seem to like this at all. -- mathowie



 
That's not creepy at all.
posted by mhoye at 8:52 PM on February 23, 2011


Wow, now he just looks like a young Ellen.
posted by phunniemee at 8:56 PM on February 23, 2011 [5 favorites]


Perfect. Now I can finally frame him for, well, for something. Pretending to have talent maybe?
posted by IvoShandor at 8:56 PM on February 23, 2011


What an amazing coincidence! I too am planning to auction off a lock of my hair!
posted by cccorlew at 8:57 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


I know this is celebrity gossip, but something about the strange, fetishistic nature of it is just bizarre. The actual auction is up to $6,700.
That said, a local charity is auctioning off a signed Nick Cave guitar and the only complaint I have about that is that I can't afford it.

I find it strange how both cloning/DNA testing and ancient magical practices rely on skin or hair samples to work.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 8:59 PM on February 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


Huge voodoo doll potential here. Mefi fundraiser?
posted by mannequito at 9:02 PM on February 23, 2011 [6 favorites]


Wow, now he just looks like a young Ellen.

Well, now I'm never going to be able to unsee that.
posted by schmod at 9:04 PM on February 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


I checked Yahoo answers, everybody. Turns out we can't clone him from hair.

There could have been two less lonely girls in the world. ;_;
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:09 PM on February 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


I think in the future, what with everyone being famous for 15 minutes, everyone will just stockpile their hair instead of letting the barber take it so that they can sell it to all willing buyers instead of auctioning it to the creepiest fan on Earth.

Or if fame passes you up, you can just make a toupee from your own hair as you age (I predict cures for baldness will become useless against new forms of aging as people live longer).

Or I guess we could just grow hair in vats with stem cells, but where's the fun in that?
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:13 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


can i still build myself a Bieber clone body so i can inhabit him and get the fame and fortune I richly desire? will people still love him if he sings warmed over Springsteen? will I miss my own luxurious locks of black hair?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:13 PM on February 23, 2011


I said bring me the head of Justin Bieber!
posted by mazola at 9:14 PM on February 23, 2011 [21 favorites]


No thanks, I'll wait for a lock of hair from Esperanza Spalding.
posted by vverse23 at 9:15 PM on February 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


Is this going to ruin Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber, or will they just suddenly adjust to the new hairstyle?
posted by hippybear at 9:18 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Oh dammit I was just about to link to that, hippybear.
posted by naoko at 9:19 PM on February 23, 2011


Is this going to ruin Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber, or will they just suddenly adjust to the new hairstyle?

Is Ellen auctioning it off a reference to this meme or just coincidence?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:20 PM on February 23, 2011


I'm holding out for David Bowie's pubes.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 9:21 PM on February 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


Bieber's hair velocity has worried me for a while now, but with this sudden availability, I may finally be able to conduct long-awaited experiments in slowing it down 1000%. Will it result in comforting, ethereal hair, like a nice warm cup of cocoa on a winter's eve? Or will this decelerated Bieber keratin be a volatile substance, prone to inappropriate outbursts, Culkin-izing users?
posted by tumid dahlia at 9:24 PM on February 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


How much for the whole wig?
posted by w0mbat at 9:25 PM on February 23, 2011 [4 favorites]


I don't know why everyone is joking. This is a very big deal.
posted by gordie at 9:28 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


ugnhhhh-hunthHick-gaHu-ugnhhhhnnnn
Kwieool
posted by clavdivs at 9:30 PM on February 23, 2011


That's nothing. IIRC, Jimi Hendrix's family moved his body in the late '90s and sold the actual dirt from his grave. Not for charity. Google does not readily support me on this (the sale part -- his grave and other family members' were moved), so take that with a shakerful of salt, but I have a distinct memory of reading about this.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:31 PM on February 23, 2011


He should pull a Manzoni and auction off his crap.
posted by The Emperor of Ice Cream at 9:33 PM on February 23, 2011


I'm holding out for David Bowie's pubes.

The only pubes on earth that, if some wiseacre mixes them in with your rolling tobacco, actually enhance the smoking experience. Pubes hold LSD better than they hold radiation, I kid you not.
posted by tumid dahlia at 9:36 PM on February 23, 2011


I have refused to cut my hair until the first day of spring. It looks very viking right now

WHERE'S MY DAYTIME FLUFF APPEARANCE?! HUH?! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW CHARMING AND SELF-EFFACING I CAN BE! I REQUIRE NO TRANSPORTATION COSTS! I AM VERY CHARMING TO NICE MIDDLE AGED LADIES. I WILL FILL YOUR TIME! FILL IT! LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
posted by The Whelk at 9:38 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also, Puberty is hitting the new Osmond model *hard* My bad tattoo choice- Danny Bonaducian senses are tingling.
posted by The Whelk at 9:41 PM on February 23, 2011


The only pubes on earth that...

As long as we're waxing Brazilian about celebrity pubic hairs, Tallulah Bankhead gave a few of hers to Eugene Walter (9th paragraph down), one of which he kept in a Chinese porcelain box until the day he died.

posted by The Emperor of Ice Cream at 9:43 PM on February 23, 2011


Why is this tabloid garbage on MetaFil... !

Woah, he really does look like Ellen. That's kind of perversely hot.
posted by loquacious at 9:45 PM on February 23, 2011


And Lindsay Lohan might be going to jail! JAIL!
posted by the noob at 9:45 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Famous people's DNA/Hair/Nails will be Beanie Babies of the 21st century.

Somehow the woman trying to sell Madonna's pap smear in Slacker seems just a little more normal now.
posted by chambers at 10:02 PM on February 23, 2011



I find it strange we're having a national jerk off session over a 16 year old boy
posted by bukharin at 10:03 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


oh, the charity, locks in lucite, rage, rage, DNA collectors scurry, hurry, tocks at midnite, gold, gold, my weary weight narry binds
posted by clavdivs at 10:04 PM on February 23, 2011


I find it strange we're having a national jerk off session over a 16 year old boy

Well, at least for once it's happening over an actual teenager, instead over some older guy pretending to be a teenager like David Cassidy or Bobby Sherman. I think it's less creepy that the guy is actually the right age rather than mutton dressed as lamb.

But then, I'm a Pearl Jam / Nine Inch Nails fan. Justin Bieber is mostly something I know about vicariously. And I'm happy to keep it that way.
posted by hippybear at 10:09 PM on February 23, 2011


My mom blocked my subscription to Tiger Beat, so this news is deeply appreciated.
posted by PareidoliaticBoy at 10:13 PM on February 23, 2011


Based solely on the trailer for the movie which I caught by accident somewhere I went to see the movie. What got my attention in the trailer was the early video of him banging out a rhythm on the seat of a kitchen chair. He really had the beat!

So like I said, I went to the film. And of course it was great. He really actually is a gifted, talented young man who knew what he wanted and followed his dream.

I am tickled by the fact that so many young kids I know "hate" him. (It's important to hate Justin Bieber now. I get it.) But I can think of two reasons not to. One is that he isn't the Jonas Bros. And two relates directly to one: He is actually a talented gifted teen-aged musician singer and entertainer.

Before I went to the film, I knew not one of the young man's songs. Now I actually play some of them and very much look forward to hearing them.

For kids, there are far worse peer role models than Justin Bieber—he is hard-working and dedicated!—but I actually think there are few better. It's pop music he's making alright but don't write off the kid for that. Given a chance he just might prove he's got the right stuff.
posted by humannaire at 10:16 PM on February 23, 2011 [3 favorites]


Yeah, I don't really hate him. Dylan knows I idolize my, er, idols to a creepy degree. I've got a cold and I'm half-convinced the bands I'm seeing next week will cure it.

Not sure I'd buy a lock of their hair, though. Does Craig Finn even have hair?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:19 PM on February 23, 2011


A couple of weeks back CSI featured Justin Bieber dying in a hail of gunfire.

jus sayin
posted by arse_hat at 10:20 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Pubes hold LSD better than they hold radiation, I kid you not.

*makes note in apocalypse journal
posted by mannequito at 10:20 PM on February 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


You should be fired from Metafilter for posting this.
posted by xmutex at 10:21 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


How romantic of him! I just hope the young chevalier who wins it is as skilled in combat as he is virtuous.
posted by kenko at 10:26 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


I have no idea where Justin Bieber came from. I don't want to know, either, because the whimsical thought that he sprang into existence from the hormone-laden teenager part of the internet is much more amusing than whatever reality might be.

And I know I'm old now, because seeing these before and after pictures makes me say exactly what my grandmother used to say about our sheepdog: "Maybe with that hair out of his eyes he'll be able to see where he's going!"
posted by cmyk at 10:27 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm getting nostalgic for the days when Gerald Way and Pete Wentz were teen idols....
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:30 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Bieb is a shithead behind closed doors, just like most artists. Their producers and managers keep blowing up their egos hoping to cash bigger checks. It's a vicious cycle.

But, in this case, I'm glad. Some wealthy parent with no control over their child's consumption mania will be separated from thousands of dollars which will then be given to charity. I call that a win/win.
posted by notion at 10:30 PM on February 23, 2011


Let's all be angry and jealous at a 17-year-old boy. I only know about Justin Bieber from all the attention and energy there is at hating on this kid.

He sets up a charity donation? Bully for him. Haters gonna hate.
posted by zardoz at 10:32 PM on February 23, 2011


you can bet a real musician like isaac hayes would have never done that
posted by pyramid termite at 10:36 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


The Bieb is a shithead behind closed doors, just like most artists. Their producers and managers keep blowing up their egos hoping to cash bigger checks. It's a vicious cycle.

Nah. The good artists are shitheads, assholes and drug addicts. The shit artists are nice guys. There are a few exceptions, but even the E Street Band had its Max Wineberg
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:47 PM on February 23, 2011


JUSTIN BEBER IS BEST OBJECT

A SUPERIOR SPECIMIN
posted by America at 10:50 PM on February 23, 2011


I'll sell my prized pocketwatch to buy his fine brown hair!
posted by seventyfour at 11:19 PM on February 23, 2011 [2 favorites]


Woopsie Ellen. I mean, really. Woopsie.

Justin Bieber: being gay is a decision and abortion is wrong
posted by New England Cultist at 11:31 PM on February 23, 2011


An awesome decision.
posted by NoraReed at 11:48 PM on February 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Somehow the woman trying to sell Madonna's pap smear in Slacker seems just a little more normal now.

Thanks! I knew my time would come.
posted by Tube at 12:01 AM on February 24, 2011 [7 favorites]


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