Yeah, I was into the Mad Annuals before they were cool.

February 25, 2011 8:20 AM

Ten Thousand Statistically Grammar-Average Fake Band Names
posted by the dief (83 comments total)

Bourgeois Drosophila was way better before they went commercial.
posted by MrMoonPie at 8:22 AM on February 25, 2011 [5 favorites]

Minstrels Wolf

+1
posted by nathancaswell at 8:22 AM on February 25, 2011

Insubordinate Underneath Socialist

REVOLUCION!!!
posted by DU at 8:23 AM on February 25, 2011

Tit You Respect Guitar Joystick

They play mostly covers of old NES themesongs.
posted by dismas at 8:25 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

This should put that tired old "that should be a band name" gag to rest now, shouldn't it?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:27 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

i didn't see Nigerian Dwarf Goat in there?
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 8:28 AM on February 25, 2011

It's hard to believe some of them don't exist (or haven't existed). Surely there is a band somewhere called Star? Or Cruelty? Codfish? Cricket Tuner?
posted by daniel_charms at 8:29 AM on February 25, 2011

Tit You Respect Guitar Joystick

dismas: They play mostly covers of old NES themesongs.

That was until they went into an "ironic" prog. rock turn with their concept album "Joshua Stubbins, Master of the Plastic Axe" (subtitle: Chapter One - Rise of the Guitar Hero)
posted by filthy light thief at 8:31 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Rheumatic Racketeers
Dynasty Homicide
Precinct Recipes
Tingles Amongst Apartments

Some of these are perfect little short stories.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 8:32 AM on February 25, 2011 [6 favorites]

oh man, i did this almost 10 years ago! (cries self to sleep) but it is very nice to see this pop up time and time again on various websites that i read. like a reminder from my past that i will never, ever be that cool ever again.

daniel_charms: after running the script i dedup'ed it against a big list of band names, but at the time musicbrainz was still formative and there was no last.fm or ... echo nest ... so the list was certainly not exhaustive. thus the disclaimer in small text up top.

for the record, i have yet to receive an email from anyone that used a name there and is now relatively well known. I could run it against the EN artist name DB (we're up to 1.5 million now!) for years active > 2002, not that that would prove anything.
posted by brianwhitman at 8:34 AM on February 25, 2011 [28 favorites]

daniel_charms: It's hard to believe some of them don't exist (or haven't existed). Surely there is a band somewhere called Star? Or Cruelty? Codfish? Cricket Tuner?

Fine print on the site:

p.s. I have received an alarming amount of mail indicating that readers have found REAL LIVE BAND NAMES in this list ("my brother's band in high school was 'The Penetrators'," etc.) Nonetheless, we estimate that 99% of these names are as yet unused. Check with your local authority

One such "authority" is Discogs, where such basic names like Star or Cruelty have a range of results (~20 exact matches for Star; 1 exact match for Cruelty, with lots of other similar names).
posted by filthy light thief at 8:35 AM on February 25, 2011

Kelsey Grammar Average is my new band!
posted by parmanparman at 8:37 AM on February 25, 2011

Racist Jell-O.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 8:38 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hoar 23294 Pea  Penny

If you leave out the extra nbsp you are not a trufan.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:40 AM on February 25, 2011 [3 favorites]

The Wipers are fake?
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 8:41 AM on February 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

The fact many of these are believable makes me want to blow up whatever "indie" is nowadays. Also, I take great issue with this list: 10,000 names and only 8 contain "deer". By my estimates, that's two orders of magnitude too few.
posted by yerfatma at 8:41 AM on February 25, 2011

I see Peaches made the list.
posted by $0up at 8:42 AM on February 25, 2011

I used to listen to Sharpness Kitty all the time, back in the day.
posted by kyrademon at 8:43 AM on February 25, 2011

Also my Rock Band bands will now be changing their names after every show. It would be great if the game could create some kind of metric for assessing the greatness of your band name and assigned you a modifier to the number of Fans gained per successful show based on how badass your name was. You could change your name to try and come up with a cooler one, but at a significant Fan penalty.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:43 AM on February 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

I've listened to all of those. They're OK, I s'pose...
posted by slater at 8:43 AM on February 25, 2011

Come see my band Placenta Boathouse play tonight at the Annex.
posted by drezdn at 8:45 AM on February 25, 2011

The Rafflers isn't in there.
posted by cashman at 8:46 AM on February 25, 2011

You know you would buy a Bingo Death March c.d.
posted by drezdn at 8:48 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I see Peaches made the list.

As did Hole.

Do we have enough MeFi usernames to do a list of our own?
posted by randomination at 8:48 AM on February 25, 2011

I kinda like "Treachery Nights"...
posted by Thistledown at 8:49 AM on February 25, 2011

Invalid Dignitary
posted by memebake at 8:51 AM on February 25, 2011

Pulp is on the list.
posted by bibliophibianj at 8:53 AM on February 25, 2011

I'm fond of "Inertia Doe". I think this would be a world-weary balladeer.

Not really related but I've always wanted a band called "The Vulcan Paedophile". No particular reason, was just thinking how creepy a Vulcan paedophile would be.
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 8:57 AM on February 25, 2011

I was into Pessimism Facsimile Subvert waaay before they got popular.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:57 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I have a great love of fake band names and I end up scrolling through this list every time I see it pop up somewhere. I still laugh at many of them, and like others have commented - it's weird how many of them are believable.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 8:58 AM on February 25, 2011

I liked Harem Chubby back when they were opening for Pun Frog.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:59 AM on February 25, 2011

Snoopy Belches
Plague Trucker
Hangmen Launcher
Litterbug Bodybuilding


This one confuses me a bit: "81901." There is no zip code of 81901. There is no obvious thing that is assigned this seemingly random number. So what the hell.

Of course, it is easy to explain compared to "Neither 2041 090196."
posted by Mister Fabulous at 8:59 AM on February 25, 2011

Ah, the deathless MIT student page -- this list is from 2002. A high school friend of mine's homepage is still up, too, and he graduated in '97.
posted by me3dia at 9:00 AM on February 25, 2011

Pointless! I always need a ton of fake band names for my webcomic about music, and I figured out early on that MeFi user names were a neverending fountain of great fake indie-rock band names.
posted by COBRA! at 9:05 AM on February 25, 2011

The Wipers are fake?

No, by God, they're not.
posted by blucevalo at 9:08 AM on February 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

You could change your name to try and come up with a cooler one, but at a significant Fan penalty.

Now I'm thinking of a real band that changes their name after every show. They have a fansite, and it presents all references to the band with the name they used for that one show you attended (based on the URL they gave out at that show.) They gain a following, have a rampant online community, and people across the country are convinced that $BAND are huge. But none of their fans would be able to connect over that fact in real life, unless they both went to that one show.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:08 AM on February 25, 2011 [3 favorites]

This is absolutely great. I'd love to have an explanation for "Nary Infantryman Because [43 underscores]", though.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:10 AM on February 25, 2011

Another list of band names from Illuminatus!
posted by empath at 9:11 AM on February 25, 2011 [5 favorites]

And perhaps I just have yesterday's E.T. thread on my mind, but Mole Raid sounds a lot more like an early 80s videogame (bargain bin you bet) than a band name.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:11 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

New tours announced!

Placenta Boathouse & Moribund Lighthouse
Shit Mutation, feat. Floater and Skid Mischief!
Mens Sticky and Increment
Astronomical Memberships and Macro Lever
Meta Airlock and Mall Filter Heaven
posted by iamkimiam at 9:12 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

(The) Proclaimers is there too, and not-terribly-hip people have probably even heard of them.
posted by milkfish at 9:12 AM on February 25, 2011

If messing with the word order as printed is OK, I'll take Bravest Antique Vagina.
posted by emelenjr at 9:15 AM on February 25, 2011

TONITE: SLAYERS
s ecial 6uests
metallicas
me6adeths
  "and"
anthraci.

posted by Wolfdog at 9:17 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Monsoon also on the list.
posted by Grangousier at 9:17 AM on February 25, 2011

Asparagus Polytechnic's tiered pricing plan for their new album includes a M.A. in Asparagus Studies at $500, plus everything on the lower tiers. At $1000, it's an Honorary Doctorate in Herbacious Perennials, and an AP Stalks letter jacket. Can't get the jacket on the cheaper tiers, though. Bastards.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:18 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Bicentennial Refill? That's a big bottle.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:20 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hole.
Codeine.
Dukes.
posted by Infinite Jest at 9:24 AM on February 25, 2011

The Sonic Meat Machine and its Thousand Merry Music-Makers
posted by sonic meat machine at 9:26 AM on February 25, 2011

Fabulous Dismount!
The Comeback Stillborn!
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:31 AM on February 25, 2011

Combine this with the American Psycho "Genesis" monologue and it makes for a great game of mad libs.

I've been a big Seagull Sensor Drive fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Buns Disappear. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Buns Disappear where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Tomorrow's Lubrication was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums.


This is Phoenix Cherubs Vibrator, a great, great song, a personal favorite.
posted by castlebravo at 9:32 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

This should put that tired old "that should be a band name" gag to rest now, shouldn't it?

When I start a band, I'm going to name it Gag to Rest.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 9:33 AM on February 25, 2011 [5 favorites]

NNP # is so over!
posted by phirleh at 9:35 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Vatican Assassin Warlocks
posted by steef at 9:35 AM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Self-link: Random Bands - for all your Randomly Generated Band Naming needs.
posted by BoatMeme at 9:36 AM on February 25, 2011

Slayer? Seriously? I'm pretty sure that one's taken, too.
(and, though I'm not proud I know this, Exile.)
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:37 AM on February 25, 2011

The best name I ever came up with was for a bellydance troupe -- Midriff Crisis.
posted by kyrademon at 9:43 AM on February 25, 2011 [3 favorites]

Anvil is also already taken.
posted by BozoBurgerBonanza at 9:45 AM on February 25, 2011

You could also take this as a Guided by Voices set-list.
posted by elwoodwiles at 9:54 AM on February 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

Another list of band names from Illuminatus!

In all of RAWs cringe-worthy moments, that has to be one of the worst.
posted by malocchio at 9:58 AM on February 25, 2011

I'll have to check Wikipedia but I think Prince is already taken.

Seriously, this is just what I need on a boring Friday afternoon at work.
posted by look busy at 10:07 AM on February 25, 2011

I like Torus! And Roulette Defenestration.
posted by Mister_A at 10:15 AM on February 25, 2011

Take your chances, Mister_A, but be careful.
posted by defenestration at 10:17 AM on February 25, 2011

Sweet. Next time I'm stuck trying to figure out a Fantasy Football team name, I'll hit this up.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:30 AM on February 25, 2011

When I was in high school, I knew a guy in a band named 'Symbolic Fit'. As many drummers did back then, the drummer for this band had the band's name emblazoned on the tuning head of his bass drum. The band logo was made of oddly-shaped letters however, which caused the band logo on the drum to appear to read as 'Symbolic Tit', which is always how I've remembered them.

FYI.
posted by Pecinpah at 10:36 AM on February 25, 2011

> Now I'm thinking of a real band that changes their name after every show.

I vaguely recall this was how The Violent Femmes worked. They booked themselves with a different name at every performance, partly for the yuks, partly so they could get back into clubs if they had washed out previously. But while busking one afternoon, they were discovered and invited to be the opening act for a major group that very evening, got signed to a label and were stuck for the next two decades with that day's random name.
posted by ardgedee at 10:42 AM on February 25, 2011 [6 favorites]

I vaguely recall this was how The Violent Femmes worked. They booked themselves with a different name at every performance, partly for the yuks, partly so they could get back into clubs if they had washed out previously. But while busking one afternoon, they were discovered and invited to be the opening act for a major group that very evening, got signed to a label and were stuck for the next two decades with that day's random name.

I think the Butthole Surfers did this at one point too, they were known at some times as Dick Gas Five, Ashtray Babyheads, then Nine Foot Worm Makes Own Food, Vodka Family Winstons, Abe Lincoln's Bush, Ed Asner's Gay, the Right To Eat Fred Astaire's Asshole, which was shortened from the Inalienable Right To Eat Fred Astaire's Asshole.
posted by phirleh at 10:58 AM on February 25, 2011 [4 favorites]

Then there's Jello Biafra's infamous list on Names For Bands!
posted by jeffen at 11:18 AM on February 25, 2011

Who doesn't like the raw sounds of 300213707684637376 Downers Carnival ?
posted by chevyvan at 11:58 AM on February 25, 2011

Interdisciplinary Sommelier


That's not a band name, that's the title of a dream job.
posted by nickmark at 11:59 AM on February 25, 2011 [4 favorites]

Threefold Oneness just made my head explode.
posted by wallabear at 12:48 PM on February 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

NNP # is so over!

I like it when people make jokes using the Penn Treebank tagset. It makes me feel less alone in the world.
posted by nebulawindphone at 12:53 PM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

There should be a link to this on the New Members signup page here for those who haven't thought about a username.

posted by Seagull Sensor Drive at 1:01AM on February 25 [+] [!]
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:31 PM on February 25, 2011

They missed the one my college roommate made up and we used as our imaginary band name: Red Fuck.
posted by Mental Wimp at 2:54 PM on February 25, 2011

"Guano Release Metrics" (band #9288)

How Much - Bass
How Often - harpsichord
Acidity - Vocals
Modulus of Elasticity - Drumitar, aux. Percussion
posted by klausman at 3:13 PM on February 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

The best name I ever came up with was for a bellydance troupe -- Midriff Crisis.
+1

Certainty Cork-yes.
Naughty Tentacle-yes.
Temperamental Beavers-maybe no.
posted by Glinn at 3:14 PM on February 25, 2011

Pancake Scab!
posted by swift at 3:21 PM on February 25, 2011

Years ago I tried to convince my friend to change his band's name to Red Femur. He demurred. Anyone interested? It's yours, take it.
posted by zardoz at 5:01 PM on February 25, 2011

I was doing college radio in the '70s when punk broke...

Our punk band was going to be The Colostomy Bags.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 5:38 PM on February 25, 2011

I bet most of the one-word "fake" names are or once were names of actual bands. Versus and Hole certainly are. I'm curious whether any of the multi-word ones are actually real, though.
posted by aaronetc at 7:17 PM on February 25, 2011

I guess Rail's one hit wonder Hello is pretty much forgotten.
posted by Marla Singer at 9:29 PM on February 25, 2011

I found: Oasis, (the) Knack, Spongy (-y +e)
posted by XhaustedProphet at 2:11 AM on February 26, 2011

Another list of band names from Illuminatus!

In all of RAWs cringe-worthy moments, that has to be one of the worst.
posted by malocchio at 9:58 AM on 2/25
[+] [!]


Huh? That list is awesome! It even predicted Nirvana
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:31 AM on February 26, 2011

I once used one of the names ("Bedbug Stabilizer") for a post-rock/math-rock instrumental.
posted by acb at 4:15 PM on March 1, 2011