"Don't remember. Don't care. Drug tests don't lie." - Billy

March 1, 2011 1:49 PM

If Billy, Dolly, Jeffy and PJ lived like Charlie Sheen: Sheen Family Circus.

Charlie Sheen has said lots lately. Blogger Chris D attached it to the Family Circus.

Other fun comic mashups:

Garfield Minus Garfield (Previously)
Garfield Minus Garfield Plus Garfield (Previously)
Ziggily Circus
Kanye New Yorker Tweets (Twitpic)
Calvin Minus Hobbes (Previously)

via

posted by Mister Fabulous (94 comments total)

This one is my favorite.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:50 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

REMEMBER - NEVER FORGET
posted by The Whelk at 1:51 PM on March 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

I do believe that Metafilter has replaced Lady Gaga with Lord Sheen.

And, I had to admit it, but it may be a change for the worse.
posted by tomswift at 1:55 PM on March 1, 2011

had=hate

whatever
posted by tomswift at 1:55 PM on March 1, 2011

It’s Time to Play ‘Sheen, Beck, or Qaddafi?’
posted by R. Mutt at 2:17 PM on March 1, 2011 [24 favorites]

I don't understand why the guy from FW is that one panel.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:20 PM on March 1, 2011

In related news, this is pretty much a ticking time bomb: http://twitter.com/charliesheen

Maybe somebody can hook up his tweets to an automatic family circus panel feed and post it to this blog.
posted by rkent at 2:25 PM on March 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

Win-ning!
posted by mazola at 2:26 PM on March 1, 2011

It frightens me that I did so well at "Sheen, Beck or Qaddafi." The rantings of awful people shouldn't be so memorable for me.
posted by bearwife at 2:29 PM on March 1, 2011

The man is obviously suffering from severe mental illness. It seems almost cruel all this attention the media are giving him. Watching Charlie Sheen right now feels like watching someone take the plunge off of the Golden Gate Bridge.
posted by caddis at 2:29 PM on March 1, 2011 [11 favorites]

My concern about Charlie Sheen jokes is that I think he might have experienced a legitimate psychotic break, perhaps caused by his drug binge, perhaps the end result of a long mental illness that hasn't been properly addressed. As much as I appreciate his ability to create an extraordinary sentence, I want to be cautious, in case it turns out I am mocking a mad person.

I woudn't blame anybody else for doing so, as he's a raving asshole. But I am trying to limit my mocking to behavior that is volitional.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:29 PM on March 1, 2011 [19 favorites]

Ah, juxtaposition, my old friend.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:31 PM on March 1, 2011

In related news, this is pretty much a ticking time bomb: http://twitter.com/charliesheen

56,240 followers and growing every second. The build-up to the first twurt is possibly funnier than whatever comes from the account.
posted by Maaik at 2:32 PM on March 1, 2011

It's like watching people celebrate a televised bumfight. As much as I love the turn of phrase "Vatican assassin warlock," when is someone going to get a psych hold put on the man and get him properly evaluated and treated?
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 2:36 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

I still miss the Dysfunctional Family Circus.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 2:37 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

He seemed a a teensy bit better when he was outside talking with Rosen this morning. I think what will help him is to have people take him away from his element so he's not so focused on himself and can maybe catch a glimpse into a bigger world again. Those women at his house are not helping him.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:40 PM on March 1, 2011

Yeah, you guys are real saints with your deep concern for his well being.
posted by fixedgear at 2:42 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

> Yeah, you guys are real saints with your deep concern for his well being.

Oh, come off it.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:43 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

Sheen, Beck or Qaddafi

Although I haven't listened to him since Odelay, I have no idea why he is lumped in with these guys.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:43 PM on March 1, 2011 [8 favorites]

Or maybe I just don't want to feel like shit because I made fun of a sick person.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:44 PM on March 1, 2011

Having narrowly avoided having my head bashed in by a guy having an uncontrolled manic episode some years back-- he later apologized and offered to kill Jesus for me if it would help-- believe me, I'm no saint when it comes to "let's get someone with mental illness and history of violence towards women out of the public eye and somewhere where he's supervised by people who don't think highly of such antics."
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 2:49 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

New Yorker cartoons
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:51 PM on March 1, 2011 [5 favorites]

Next: Marmaduke and Snoopy dog-fighting in the octagon.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:51 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

It’s Time to Play ‘Sheen, Beck, or Qaddafi?’

Charlie Sheen or Ultimate Warrior?
posted by fuse theorem at 2:53 PM on March 1, 2011

I love Sheen's quotes. I'm usually sensitive to mental illness but I'm not sure if i'm seeing the illness. I sometimes write hyperbolic self-mythology for myself and I am an utter loser (including stuff about being a wizard and a God). Charlie Sheen makes millions for being in a crappy sitcom. He lives in a house made of porn stars and cocaine. Why WOULDN'T he have an inflated self image?


The Nietzsche Family Circus
obligatory link to The Comics Curmudgeon
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 2:53 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

This one should instead be captioned "I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee"
posted by exogenous at 2:55 PM on March 1, 2011

"He seemed a a teensy bit better when he was outside talking with Rosen this morning."

I feel sad for the guy. He looks completely wrecked.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:57 PM on March 1, 2011

Yeah, you guys are real saints with your deep concern for his well being.

He's some guy we don't know who gave himself coke-induced megalomania and has so much cash that he could buy Latvia is he wanted. What does he do with that money? He bangs pornstars and promotes 9-11 conspiracy theories. Why are we supposed to be worried about him, again?

And before you come out with some pat "because he's a human being," let me remind you that he's largely responsible for "Two and Half Men" and is therefore about as human as Augusto Pinochet or Slobodan Milosevic.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:58 PM on March 1, 2011 [7 favorites]

I love Sheen's quotes.

They really are extraordinary, there's no doubt about that. I hope he gets help for whatever is going on, but it's like he spontaneously is creating a new language, a modern updating of the sort of hyperbolic boasting 18th century dock workers used to engage in before fighting ("My mother was an eagle and my father was an alligator, and I kill 10 men before breakfast") and the 20th century version demonstrated by Bo Diddley. It's like everything he says is an updating of "Who Do You Love."
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:59 PM on March 1, 2011 [24 favorites]

Matthew Perry was on Bill Maher the other day, telling "it's funny now" stories about what a degenerate alcoholic he was.

I like to think Charlie will be entertaining some audience with similar "Can you believe I did that shit?" tales someday.
posted by Joe Beese at 3:00 PM on March 1, 2011

Yeah, you guys are real saints with your deep concern for his well being.

And you're a real saint for telling us so.
posted by blucevalo at 3:00 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Actually, I really enjoyed Slobodan Milosevic's work on Full House: anyone who can make Bob Saget look vaguely wholesome deserves some sort of award.
posted by KokuRyu at 3:00 PM on March 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

That's "student Academy Award-winner Bob Saget" to you.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:02 PM on March 1, 2011

The Dan Bejar Family Circus
posted by Prince_of_Cups at 3:02 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I hope he gets help for whatever is going on, but it's like he spontaneously is creating a new language, a modern updating of the sort of hyperbolic boasting 18th century dock workers used to engage in before fighting ("My mother was an eagle and my father was an alligator, and I kill 10 men before breakfast") and the 20th century version demonstrated by Bo Diddley. It's like everything he says is an updating of "Who Do You Love."

Is there more stuff like this? Stan Lee, Monster Magnet lyrics, Iggy Pop lyrics...maybe rap lyrics and epic poetry? Is there a word for it? Because its awesome

So many people today are ironic or self-effacing. Sheen might be a strange person to bring back heroic boasting but he's the best we got. At least until I go viral
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:03 PM on March 1, 2011

I feel I should remind you all that Mr. Sheen also starred in "Men at Work" - probably the best movie in the history of everything that's ever had a history. So I say yes, true, he is not a human being... he is a God.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:04 PM on March 1, 2011

Is there more stuff like this?

Will Ferrell does it in his movies with some frequency, but he's also sort of mocking it. I have a feeling if he just went for it, though, he'd be extraordinary.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:07 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

The best way to observe these Charlie Sheen outbursts is through DRUNK HULK on twitter.
posted by Sailormom at 3:10 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

He's actually holding it together pretty well in this live 42 minute TMZ interview.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 3:20 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

anyone who can make Bob Saget look vaguely wholesome deserves some sort of award.

isn't Bob Saget the middle-aged married guy that was screwing around with Alanis Morrisset when she was a 15 year old disco queen?
posted by lodurr at 3:20 PM on March 1, 2011

the only example i can find for 'heroic boast' is one of those dodgy 'Sample Essay' sites. is there a more formal name for it? maybe something on TV Tropes?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:25 PM on March 1, 2011

What is interesting to me, is that Charlie Sheen (Real Person) is in the process of becoming, for all practical purposes, a "fictional character" for most of us. He has gone far enough over the edge that he now "exists" as a repository for people's judgment. I'm not saying people shouldn't judge him; it's what we do. I'm suggesting that he now serves the purposes of those that moralize against him just as much as he is serving the purposes of those that take advantage of his behavior.

We seem to need the corrupt to reflect back to us our integrity. We, as a culture, also tend to idolize to some degree those that transgress intensely enough to become caricatures of themselves. We like our rock stars to be ROCK STARS. Rock stars do everything we can't. Or wouldn't do. And then they crash and burn. And if they have made a significant enough contribution, we call them heroes. (Hunter S. Thompson, Kurt Cobain, Bukowski, and on and on.) Unfortunately, Charlie Sheen's contributions do not elevate him to that status. He remains a clown. But we clearly find him a useful clown. If only to give us the chance to call him one.

Personally, it's disturbing to recognize (intimately) nearly all the symptoms of a significant and prolonged manic episode. His lifestyle, and the continued access he has to it, only adds tinder to the flames. And the bigger fire will need to be fed. It's only recently that we have been able to witness, in real time, somebody so publicly unedited, go through such an episode. I hope he get's real help.
posted by nickjadlowe at 3:28 PM on March 1, 2011 [9 favorites]

Is there more stuff like this?

well, there was son_of_minya.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 3:29 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

Why making fun of Charlie Sheen isn't funny.
posted by Argyle at 3:34 PM on March 1, 2011 [5 favorites]

These Family Circus parodies are funny.

Mental illness isn't funny, and I hope Sheen gets the help he seems to need. OTOH, there's something kind of liberating and fun about this crazy manic stuff. I mean fuck yeah, he is Charlie Sheen, and he is kind of awesome. It's sort of interesting seeing someone be so much the opposite of restrained, or modest. And just say "fuck yeah I did a 7g rock and it was awesome". There's something sort of fun hearing that, or at least it is until he ends up dead.

See also Britney's New Look, one of South Park's most biting bits of satire in the history of the show.
posted by Nelson at 3:40 PM on March 1, 2011

He would seem to score near or at the top of every category on the Young Mania Rating Scale (PDF).
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:45 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

first tweet: http://twitter.com/charliesheen
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 3:49 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

isn't Bob Saget the middle-aged married guy that was screwing around with Alanis Morrisset when she was a 15 year old disco queen?

... No, that was the "Cut. It. Out" guy.
posted by delmoi at 3:50 PM on March 1, 2011

Why WOULDN'T he have an inflated self image?

There's, like, Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark in the first movie inflated self-image, where your pals realize you need handling because you're a rock star in your own mind and everyone else is feeding that image?

And then there's going on TV explaining to people that your warlock mind powers cured your epic-level cocaine habit, describing everything in terms of religious war, and not sleeping. That's not just inflated self-image, it's a recognized pattern of disordered thought.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 3:52 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

isn't Bob Saget the middle-aged married guy that was screwing around with Alanis Morrisset

Nope, Dave Coulier. Scroll down to "Personal Life"
posted by Mcable at 3:52 PM on March 1, 2011

There needs to be SOMEBODY saying stuff like this, somebody claiming they're above and beyond regular humanity. There needs to be wizards and warlocks and shamen and ROCK STARS and heroes. Charlie Sheen is a shit actor in a shit sitcom, but lines like "Imagine what I can do with my fire breathing fists" and "I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars' are what we NEED in this world of mediocrity and economics.

I don't support the violence or the crap sitcom. But the WORDS themselves are powerful.

"Naturally, because this was Stern's show, the conversation soon turned to Sheen’s life with “The Goddesses”—Sheen’s live-in duo of girlfriends that includes graphic designer Natalie Kenly and porn star Bree Olson—about which Stern declared, “You live like a king!” Sheen replied, “And why shouldn’t I?”"

He understands the nature of power and celebrity.

Check out the image on this story

For a very minor, sedate example I've been listening to Don't Take Me For Granted this morning, but it only kinda scratches that itch. Should probably get into rap.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:55 PM on March 1, 2011

sn't Bob Saget the middle-aged married guy that was screwing around with Alanis Morrisset when she was a 15 year old disco queen?

No that was the "funny" uncle, Dave Coulier.
posted by Hoopo at 3:56 PM on March 1, 2011

"Who shut down the set of Two-and-a-half Men?"

"Not Me!"
posted by SirOmega at 4:05 PM on March 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

I don't support the violence or the crap sitcom. But the WORDS themselves are powerful.

Well, sure, but if I want that, I can go flip open an issue of Casanova and revel in "Don't you forget my BRIDE down there while you're BALLS-DEEP IN ROBOT WHORE!", all the while knowing that the creator isn't suffering from untreated mental illness-- he's just genuinely that inventive with language.

Sheen... Sheen's language has the same uneasy "that shouldn't be happening in there" feeling that Serene Branson's on-camera complex migraine had a couple weeks ago.

It's the old "dead, mad, or a poet" conundrum. Either you burn up trying to harness your talent, you go crazy coping with it, or you learn to discipline yourself to use it before it destroys you.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 4:06 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Alright, after reading Argyle's link I'm convinced he's manic and it's probably wrong to make fun of him. But goddamn he's got some great turns of phrase. Is it OK to laugh with him instead of at him?

There needs to be SOMEBODY saying stuff like this, somebody claiming they're above and beyond regular humanity. There needs to be wizards and warlocks and shamen and ROCK STARS and heroes.

Mmmmmyeah it's sort of admirably Subgenius-y. But those guys knew they were joking. Charlie maybe isn't in on the joke yet.
posted by fleetmouse at 4:07 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

Well, sure, but if I want that, I can go flip open an issue of Casanova and revel in "Don't you forget my BRIDE down there while you're BALLS-DEEP IN ROBOT WHORE!", all the while knowing that the creator isn't suffering from untreated mental illness-- he's just genuinely that inventive with language What's this? Casanova gets me too many results

Fairytale of Los Angeles, are you saying that Charlie Sheen is out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:08 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Mmmmmyeah it's sort of admirably Subgenius-y. But those guys knew they were joking. Charlie maybe isn't in on the joke yet."

Never got into the Church of the Subgenius. Always more of a Discordian man myself. And why does it have to be a joke? If the least of us can use language to make us feel powerful why can't the powerful?

why the fuck am I defending Charlie Sheen? Because if one of the most popular men in the world can't claim he's a fire shooting warlock tiger wizard god than what hope is there for the rest of us?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:10 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

Fairytale of Los Angeles, are you saying that Charlie Sheen is out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct?

I'm saying he's a disturbed man, talented but out of control and exhibiting profound symptoms of mental disturbance, and he needs a lot of help to get back to somewhere where he can rebuild his life, his relationship to his kids, and his career.

Casanova is the Matt Fraction/ Gabriel Ba/ Fabio Moon book that put all three of them on the map a few years back. I recommend it to you, actually; it's epic pulp sci-fi, inspired by stuff like Danger: Diabolik and crazy pseudoscience. Marvel's Icon line has been reprinting it and putting out nice new TPBs; don't get the Image issues or TPBs, they don't have the full-color art and nice hand-lettering.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 4:12 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

I was manic for years until 'the man' gave me pills to calm me down. I have every sympathy for Sheen because I know what it's like to be riding a magic carpet for several days at a time. The real hassle is the come down. You can't fix the mess you made when you were UP and everything becomes so much more overwhelming until you find yourself living in your own filth, totally disconnected from reality.
posted by Bubbles Devere at 4:12 PM on March 1, 2011 [3 favorites]

I started to watch an interview with him on Youtube from Good Morning America today, but I couldn't do it. I wanted to see what he was like in real life instead of just reading transcripts, but it was a total flashback to interacting with a member of my family who was a meth addict. Not the words, necessarily, but the twitching, jerky, loopy way of moving, the edginess, the things that just don't make sense but OK, you go with it, the glazed eyes, the adolescent defensiveness... it was a little too real for me. Somehow I can find the crazy stuff he says funny out of context, but I couldn't watch that video.
posted by MadamM at 4:15 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm not really sure why this isn't all just in the open thread from last week.
posted by everichon at 4:19 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Are we to understand that Sheen now has a surface to air capability?
posted by clavdivs at 4:20 PM on March 1, 2011

The real hassle is the come down.

I wonder now if his cocaine habit developed in an attempt to ward off just that.

Bipolar disorder is real bad news. I wouldn't wish it even on Bob Saget.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:22 PM on March 1, 2011

Metafilter: I don't support the violence or the crap sitcom. But the WORDS themselves are powerful.
posted by mannequito at 4:26 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I dunno. I draw a distinction between psychosis, and drug-induced psychosis. You've got to handle your fucking high. man.
posted by Jimbob at 4:28 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

Okay, who has the best stack of deleted Keane/Amazon.com reviews?
posted by ovvl at 4:33 PM on March 1, 2011

How did Bob Saget get dragged into this? He is a national treasure and I will not let you speak ill of him.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 4:34 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

I draw a distinction between psychosis, and drug-induced psychosis.

So do I.

But since his piss came up clean for ABC, it looks like we're dealing with the former.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:34 PM on March 1, 2011

How did Bob Saget get dragged into this? He is a national treasure and I will not let you speak ill of him.

Here is a Google image search for Bob Saget.

Notice anything?

He is smirking in every single picture.

George W. Bush has nothing on this guy. Even Doug Fieger himself did not smirk as indefatigably as Bob Saget.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:38 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'll bet a sandwich his piss also says he is pregnant. Or a horse. Or both.
posted by jamaro at 4:38 PM on March 1, 2011 [6 favorites]

inevitable quote generator
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:23 PM on March 1, 2011

Mayor Curley: "He's some guy we don't know who gave himself coke-induced megalomania and has so much cash that he could buy Latvia is he wanted. What does he do with that money? He bangs pornstars and promotes 9-11 conspiracy theories. Why are we supposed to be worried about him, again?

Because he's a human ....

And before you come out with some pat "because he's a human being," let me remind you that he's largely responsible for "Two and Half Men" and is therefore about as human as Augusto Pinochet or Slobodan Milosevic."

oh.

Hyperbole is so easy.
posted by Bonzai at 5:27 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

But charlie said 'bottoms' are a nautical term or something, then takes a drug test which we are to believe is valid? Bill W. has a one lump coffeeeeeee drinker... smoking fire/jet pilot jejune/gaggle of gargle gals.

This a flashback from a Tom Berenger hazing.
posted by clavdivs at 5:32 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

I like the new Charlie Sheen. I'm sick of these celebrities pretending like they give a shit about their rehab. The narcicicsm that put them on the stage in the first place hasn't gone anywhere because if it had they wouldn't be making shows anymore and going on late night TV to talk about how famous they are and share stories about what a party animal they were. I respect Sheen for his embrace of total hedonism, living for the moment enlightenment that emerged from his the delerium of rehab. It may be he's just bi-polar and about to flame out into can't get out of bed delerium, but until then I say rock on.
posted by humanfont at 5:38 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

I don't see why it is impossible to find his statements freaking hilarious but also find his obvious mental disorder sad and hope that he finds help before he dies or kills someone else.
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:15 PM on March 1, 2011 [2 favorites]

Craig Ferguson has decided not to do any more Charlie Sheen jokes.
posted by electroboy at 6:20 PM on March 1, 2011 [7 favorites]

Charlie Sheen's next sitcom should be just him sitting in a chair and talking. I'd totally watch that.
posted by elwoodwiles at 6:33 PM on March 1, 2011 [4 favorites]

I have a tough time believing it was actually his piss that was clean. Clearly, Charlie Sheen is deeply unwell. It would seem that if he is, in fact, sober, he has had some sort of break with reality. I think that's unlikely, though, based on what I know of coke-addled drama speech, and how everything Sheen has said all week fits neatly into that mold.
posted by Leta at 6:41 PM on March 1, 2011

"I think he might have experienced a legitimate psychotic break...But I am trying to limit my mocking to behavior that is volitional."

Astrozombie's sober reserve won out during the Balloon Boy episode, so I'm going to follow his lead on this one.
posted by bonobothegreat at 7:18 PM on March 1, 2011

After watching the whole 20/20 "special", I gotta say that he doesn't seem that far gone. We've seen all the choice wtf moments, but he does seem to understand what's going on. At least in some way. Shrug.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:23 PM on March 1, 2011

Maybe he's really tired of doing that show and didn't want to break the contract himself.
posted by the_artificer at 8:44 PM on March 1, 2011

I am deeply ashamed at the American media's continued exploration into the Celebrity Breakdown Porn Extravaganza. Charlie Sheen is deeply ill, and his celebrity status and wealth allow him to continue to destabilize his own life - and evidently take others down in his wake. I couldn't watch it - too ugly - an interview with him and his "goddesses", who are helping him raise his twin sons. Why should anyone be pointing a camera his way? Why the attention, parading around his mental illness as some type of legitimate entertainment? This is disgusting, absolutely disgusting. My hopes and prayers are with the Estevez family right now. May they find the peace, stability and serenity they deserve. Celebrity/crack/cocaine/alcohol is a hell of a drug.
posted by msali at 8:45 PM on March 1, 2011 [1 favorite]

The TMZ interview is interesting. Early on he says that he doesn't know what he's done wrong--why he was fired. In an earlier post I had mentioned the vanity cards, and he mentions it in this interview:

"I get criticized publicly, those stupid vanity cards. I go who knows how long, eight years, and I fire back once and it's like 2000 to 1, and they're like "You're done." Wow, wow, I thought you guys were tougher than that."

He really doesn't seem to understand what a racist, nasty rant he gave publicly against his boss.

He later says about Chuck Lorre:
"I give him credit for creating something brilliant. But I don't give him any credit for making it go away. It's about ego and emotions and...I don't know what else. I can't speak for the man."

It is ironic that of all the places he interviewed, and he interviewed with just about everyone, it's TMZ's interview that is the most reasoned and sensible.
posted by eye of newt at 8:59 PM on March 1, 2011

Oops, posted before seeing his last statement in the interview:
"Whatever part I had in this I sincerely apologize for. Whatever I can fix, I guarantee I will."
posted by eye of newt at 9:04 PM on March 1, 2011

Glenn Beck, Charlie Sheen, and Muammar Gaddafi should start a band. Featuring Gene Simmons on bass.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 9:11 PM on March 1, 2011

He later says about Chuck Lorre:
"I give him credit for creating something brilliant

the Ninja Turtles theme song?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:29 PM on March 1, 2011

In the midst of Charlie's manic interview on Good Morning America, this part of the exchange stood out as a moment of profound truth that was passed over...

ROSSEN: Did you turn to alcohol and other substances because you were bored?

Mr. SHEEN: No. I did--I did that because they work.

People use drugs and alcohol because they work. The cruel irony is that self-medicating works, until it stops working. And when it stops working, you go spiraling out of control very quickly.

I've laughed at the various parodies of Charlie's crazy rants, but I really hope he gets help soon.
posted by amyms at 11:32 PM on March 1, 2011 [5 favorites]

I look forward to seeing him pop up in Herzog's next project.
posted by slimepuppy at 5:27 AM on March 2, 2011

Charlie Sheen : Chuck Lorre :: Klaus Kinski : Werner Herzog?
posted by electroboy at 6:31 AM on March 2, 2011

Has Jersey Circus been mentioned before? Cause this seems like the place to do it.
posted by jessenoonan at 7:04 AM on March 2, 2011

Charlie Sheen is not a poet.

These quotes are amusing and all, but they're mostly notable only for coming from his mouth. If they didn't have 'Charlie Sheen' as the attribution, they would be just more crazy drug ranting.
posted by lodurr at 8:12 AM on March 2, 2011

Come on though this is just great
posted by Greg Nog at 10:17 AM on March 2, 2011

In the recent interviews, he reminds me of nothing so much as Tom Cruise's manic phase, when he was flipping out about Katie Holmes on Oprah's couch and spouting Dianetics acronyms in that leaked video from some Church of Scientology award show.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:35 AM on March 2, 2011

Charlie Sheen is Kenny Powers.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:38 PM on March 4, 2011