"My brain seems to work okay, but how would I know?"

March 4, 2011 7:13 PM

My Above-Average Stroke. From November 2010, Garrison Keillor writing about the stroke he suffered in 2009.

Keillor's narrative ends on page 5. Pages 6 and 7 are "The Young Man's Stroke" which reviews possible triggers of strokes in men under 45.

Single page version (this link tries to trigger a print queue)

posted by zarq (52 comments total)

I am a good friend of Garrison's actually, and I know he gets a lot of snark on here, but he is a generous guy, gives me complimentary tickets to his shows quite often, and the mans on Facebook for Christs sake! I'm glad hes still doing well. I have been to a few of his book readings, and he gives great narratives on what happened that day/
posted by wheelieman at 7:19 PM on March 4, 2011 [7 favorites]

Thanks, this is good reading, for any man, for any old German, for anyone that appreciates authentic story-telling.

Garrison is a humorist on par with Twain and Rogers, when these types of individuals write about serious topics, it's worth sitting up and paying attention.
posted by tomswift at 7:28 PM on March 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

I would have missed this, thanks.
posted by nevercalm at 7:29 PM on March 4, 2011

wheelieman, not to derail, but please thank Garrison for me. If it hadn't been for the fact that I had a shoebox full of PHC audiocassettes to lend to my future husband, I don't think I would have had any excuse to keep dropping by his desk long enough for him to finally ask me out over a decade ago. (He is a 6'7" quiet Swede, so it was fate that PHC brought us together, really.)
posted by jeanmari at 7:30 PM on March 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

Why would there be any Keillor hate? My folks used to listen to his shows all the time when I was younger, and I read a couple of his Wobegon books, they were great.
posted by tumid dahlia at 7:31 PM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Why would there be any Keillor hate?

Young, snarky Minnesotans don't want to listen to Grandpa's stories.

I don't listen to PHC regularly, so I didn't really know about his stroke. It was an interesting read.
posted by cabingirl at 7:36 PM on March 4, 2011

I don't wish health problems on many people, and Keillor's not in that select few, but I would like to share a letter I wrote to the comics newspaper Funny Times after a column syndicated there recently:

I'm a long-time subscriber and pretty much a live-and-let-laugh kind of guy, but I gotta say, this month's Keillor is the second time he's hit a sour note. And when I say "sour," I don't mean "hilariously politically incorrect," like Callahan (RIP), but "this is not funny, and not enlightening of anything except Keillor's unthinking insensitivity."

Imagine if he was telling you a funny story about his grandparents in ol' Minnesota, you betcha', and happened to mention the nigger caretaker whose job it is to take care of the church boiler, on his way to making a wry little joke about how the potato salad for the potluck lunch didn't spoil because it was sitting on a cold pew for the whole sermon. Yeah. Look, it's OK if you don't like black people, or fags, or whatever -- it's a free country. But if you're writing for an audience that likes your tepid humor, why not leave your homophobia out of it?

So, in my view, Keillor's pretty innocuous most of the time: if not funny, then at least not particularly offensive; but I'll go back to skipping his column, and would prefer to see somebody else's stuff in that section of FT.

Sorry to be a downer; thanks for all the laughs!

I see now that he issued a fauxpology for his earlier clanker, but I can't sit by and let him be lauded as "a humorist on par with Twain and Rogers." He's not.
posted by spacewrench at 7:41 PM on March 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

I didn't know he had a stroke. I'm glad he's doing well.

I saw Garrison Keillor perform live years and years ago. He's a very funny man, and I like that kind of slow-paced, old-fashioned entertainment.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:42 PM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

On failing to preview, I also didn't know about that gay joke. Yeah, that's pretty lousy, but hey, he's old.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:45 PM on March 4, 2011

In case you're in the mood to dismiss this... it's worth reading for this alone: "I've forgotten all my algebra and plane geometry, the nature of the Gadsden Purchase and the Smoot-Hawley tariff, and yet I remember every corner of that first-floor apartment on Jagtvej in Copenhagen in October 1985; I remember the twilight encounter in waist-deep water off Oahu and another at 38,000 feet on the flight home. In Stockholm on the balcony of the Grand Hotel one June night. Santa Barbara at the little inn on Garden Street. The screened porch at my log cabin in Wisconsin, the bed suspended from the beams on chains. The 57th floor of the hotel in New York. The ship off Key West. All the beautiful naked moments with women that, once I recall them, seem to dim any bad memories."

and, Spacewrench, we will have to agree to disagree.
posted by tomswift at 7:47 PM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wait...... Spacewrench...heh... I just read that piece...if you think he's been harsh about gays, I hope to hell you're not Lutheran!
posted by tomswift at 7:50 PM on March 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

I have massive blood pressure. I'm not gonna put numbers here, but I've had two docs try to hospitalize me the minute I walked in their door, even tho I was feeling fine.

I had a very, very good doctor, ten years younger than me (and I'm not even close to out of my 30's), with a little boy just the same age as my little girl, prescribe me two different horse pills instead of ordering an ambulance. I was irritated.

"Doc, there's nothing wrong. I feel fine."

"You know how to use google. See if anyone who had a stroke felt anything other than fine before the very minute they got crippled for life."

I take the fucking horse pills.

The Army made him go back to The Stan, but I hope he comes back here one day. That kinda doc you keep your whole life
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:54 PM on March 4, 2011 [6 favorites]

I love good writing. The sort that lets you step into another person's life and live it with them for a while. The work of an author who immerses you in their imagination and envelops you in a rich, multilayered narrative. Garrison Keillor is one of those writers to me. And this...

"The one thing that breaks my heart is the thought of my little girl having to go through the loss of her daddy. I can't imagine my suffering or my wife's widowhood, but I can imagine my tender-hearted little girl, crumpled up in bed, in the dark, weeping. But it's not going to happen this time. No, dear Lord. You have had mercy on this poor sinner and on his wife and daughter."

... hit me very hard.

Spacewrench, thanks for linking to his comment on gay marriage. I wouldn't have known about it otherwise.
posted by zarq at 8:04 PM on March 4, 2011

Why would there be any Keillor hate?

He sings.
posted by benzenedream at 8:07 PM on March 4, 2011 [13 favorites]

know he gets a lot of snark on here

Garrison is a master performer, producer, and artist. His ability to weave together a show with random local talent and his own stock performers, unify each episode with a grand narrative, and keep his material fresh over three and a half decades approaches the miraculous. Sure his bits may seem antique at times, but the polish on them gleams.

I can't sit by and let him be lauded as "a humorist on par with Twain and Rogers." He's not.

He could be. You can sort of see the potential. He approaches the brink quite often, but he pulls his punches. He's a nice man.

And let's face it, if Twain had been the host NPR would have pulled the plug back in 1974.
posted by clarknova at 8:07 PM on March 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

Keillor is everything Americans are wrongly presumed overseas not to be. Subtle, irony-aware, generous, funny and relaxed.

Let me tell you this, Americans. A Prairie Home Companion isn't only syndicated inside the US. He reminds people outside America every week that all those values the rest of us want to like America for, but which we all - deep down - tend to assume are dead in real life, are in fact still there.

The man's a walking fucking ambassador for your way of life, and don't you piss on him anywhere near where I can hear you.
posted by genghis at 8:21 PM on March 4, 2011 [39 favorites]

I'd offer ketchup to anyone that criticizes Garrison Keillor too much, because it has natural mellowing agents.
posted by MegoSteve at 8:24 PM on March 4, 2011 [11 favorites]

@Spacewrench - I am incredibly underwhelmed by your excessive outrage. excuse me while I don't even bother telling my friends about it tonight.
posted by rebent at 8:24 PM on March 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

That was a good read, thanks for posting it.
posted by LobsterMitten at 8:26 PM on March 4, 2011

Anytime anybody can make me laugh while telling me about their stroke, I feel a little safer.
posted by twoleftfeet at 8:28 PM on March 4, 2011

genghis, that was a breath of fresh air... how good it is to know that there are still aspects and representatives of this country that are respected.
posted by tomswift at 8:28 PM on March 4, 2011

This blood clot could've ... made me a gimp, a feeb, a crip, a wacko with big Xs for eyeballs and q&w$e#r%t!y$u&i*o%p on my brain.

I like him and like his writing but this is absolutely thoughtless. A gimp. A feeb. A crip. A wacko with big Xs for eyeballs. Sweet. Really kind.

There are people living inside those bodies, real, genuine, live people, with feelings and stuff, who might not want to be scorned for things beyond their reach. I've known my share or more of people who are in wheelchairs or walkers, and more than my share of people with mental illnesses, plus I'm a person with this manic depressive illness my own self, maybe he'd call us wackjobs or psychos or dipshits or who knows what. Maybe I'm just over-sensitized to it all. But I don't think so. It's callous, is what it is, or so it seems to me...

In his heart, an old guy is perpetually 37 years old and a stroke doesn't change that. You go to the party and join the scrum of the young and restless and feel at home there until one of them is deferential to you ("What's your take on that, Pops?") and that's the signal that can't be ignored.

I read this and smiled in recognition, I damn sure don't see myself as 56 though my drivers license is pretty damn clear on that point. I'm still very active, hoping to follow after my father in that part, my father worked hard until Alzheimer's nailed him @ 81, blah blah blah. But -- those young people, some of them anyways, they just don't see me as The Young and Restless, facing Life And It's Challenges in a head-on fashion; they see an old guy with reading glasses, scratching himself. It's very annoying.
posted by dancestoblue at 8:31 PM on March 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

dancestoblue... I understand how you might respond in that manner, but, I think if you spent some time listening to Garrison's work, you would have a better understanding of who he is. I've been listening to him for years and years, and the last thing I would accuse him of is being insensitive of those that are disabled or struggling...
posted by tomswift at 8:48 PM on March 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

Throwing down with the Keillor love. (Hopefully this thread has been designated a Safe Place for this sort of thing. I too assumed Metafilter was far too snarky to express an appreciation for home spun yarns from an old guy about an America that doesn't really exist).

But really, there is something so sweetly naive, true, and gentle in Keillor's world and I want so bad to live in this mythical place where people are self effacing, responsible, free from hate, and full of wonder. (Criticism of the aforementioned column notwithstanding, I'd never read that before now; homophobia seems incongruous with the rest of his work.) These days I listen to far less PHC than I used to. Like Johnny Carson, after all this time he's been so reliable, so consistently good, that it's almost stale.

I didn't know about the stroke, but I think I would genuinely have been concerned about it had I known. This essay was as lovely and well written as his work gets and I never would have seen it, so thanks.

(Men's Health, really? You could have had The Atlantic or something, what the hell Garrison?)
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:29 PM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't want to hate on Keillor, but I do have to say he reminds me a bit of Charles Shulz in that it feels like he's been doing the same schtick for too long. Both men were brilliant in their prime, but got into a rut. I think if Keillor had put PHC to rest about ten years ago and done something else for a while, he could have come back fresh, but my reaction to him now mostly triggers memories of how the show used to be.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 9:46 PM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

You could have had The Atlantic or something, what the hell Garrison?

The Atlantic is trying to hip itself up these days. Keillor would make the place smell like old people again and it takes forever to get rid of that odor.
posted by the christopher hundreds at 9:49 PM on March 4, 2011

"he gets a lot of snark on here"

Heh, I thought there was something wrong with me. Nice to see the man get some credit. If he is faking his sincerity, he is doing a damn fine job of it - worthy in a class by itself for the sheer powerful artistry of it.

I think he understands exactly what he is doing, every word carefully weighed and measured before delivery. He doesn't slip. But I have never seen a hint of malice in the man, and even when he ventures into some dark places, there is only the story to be experienced.

Think, when he dies, we'll have Rush Limbaugh to take his place. We'll all go mad.
posted by Xoebe at 9:57 PM on March 4, 2011

I just discovered from my wife that a lot of people have problems with Mr. Keillor because of some somewhat tasteless writing about gays that he has done. (I actually read one of them when it came out initially, in Salon, and laughed at it.)

I was very happy to be able to report to her that further Googling found quite a few enlightened statements about homosex from him, and no other issues. She's now happy because she can listen to his podcasts.

While I don't think he's quite Mark Twain (because he's simply too nice! Twain was a pretty nasty writer when it comes down to it), he's a fine and entertaining writer (as this piece shows) and I very much am glad it wasn't worse and wish him a long life.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 10:03 PM on March 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

I didn't know he had a stroke. Thanks for posting this. It was a great read.

my mom used to read to us out of lake wobegon days before bed; the septic tank story still makes me laugh until I cannot breathe.
posted by janepanic at 10:05 PM on March 4, 2011

I don't want to hate on Keillor, but I do have to say he reminds me a bit of Charles Shulz in that it feels like he's been doing the same schtick for too long.

Actually, the show remains surprisingly current, despite its old-timey format. He has current stars perform, his sketches and monologues always involve current events and concepts...

I have a mixed-feeling relationship with PHC. I really find myself cringing whenever Guy Noir or the cowboys start up, but they always charm me for at least a moment before the segment ends. I pretty much love the rest of the show, so I'm willing to deal with my apprehension about those segments to hear the rest of it.

In some ways, it's a total anachronism. Like if Ed Sullivan were still doing a TV variety show. But there's a modernism buried at the core of the old-fashioned which keeps it from getting stale.

And seeing Altman's film really recharged the whole thing for me. Brilliant film. And even features Lindsey Lohan back when she had potential for talent instead of for melt-down.
posted by hippybear at 10:14 PM on March 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

This Keillor character is sort of like an American Stuart McLean?

But seriously, I have slowly grown to like PHC since I moved to the US. Unlike nearly everything else in this country it is subtle once in a while. I find his comments about gays pretty old-fashioned and excessively stereotypical but then again I think he pretty much talks about everyone this way. If Keillor is describing a group in the third person, chances are he's being vaguely patronizing about it.
posted by GuyZero at 10:14 PM on March 4, 2011

Garrison Keillor has a voice. I don't mean the sounds coming out of his mouth. I mean the stance, the slant, the way he frames his stories and his work. It's HIS. And while it is probably as painstakingly cultivated as any performer's, it feels and reads natural. That's an admirable trick, and hard to do, as a writer and as a performer. Keillor's work is more miss than hit for me, but I have great respect for the man's mastery of his craft.

And I will stop whatever I'm doing to listen when The PHC Joke Show comes on.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:29 PM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

And I will stop whatever I'm doing to listen when The PHC Joke Show comes on.

QFMFT
posted by hippybear at 10:33 PM on March 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

I love PHC. Seen it life countless times. I really want to make it to one of the cruises before Keillor retires. Thanks for the post. Nice to see the PHC love :)
posted by Arbac at 10:35 PM on March 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Related: "Jill Bolte Taylor's stroke of insight" (in which a neurologist relates how she was able to observe a stroke take place in her brain)
posted by Burhanistan at 10:42 PM on March 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

I spent my teen years in the area of Lake Wobegon (I won't ruin for anyone who believes its a real place. Oops). People are nearly exactly as he describes them. Every time I listen to him, I think about Minnesoota and how much I miss the people. I miss hot dish, I miss mosquitoes, I miss pickled turkey gizzards, I miss grouse hunting, I miss ice fishing, I miss it all. Every time I hear him speak, I'm back there again and find myself yearning to go north. Last fall I took a trip from Chicago to La Crosse, WI to visit friends and we took a side trip over the river into Minnesota. I could feel my eyes well up because we were on Minnesota soil and because I missed it so much. I find it difficult to hate a man who can transport me, through his stories, back to a time That I really miss. I'm glad he's still around, warts and all, for me and us to enjoy.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 11:18 PM on March 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

Garrison Keillor has a voice. I don't mean the sounds coming out of his mouth. I mean the stance, the slant, the way he frames his stories and his work. It's HIS. And while it is probably as painstakingly cultivated as any performer's, it feels and reads natural.

That's what's escaping his critics. His extemporaneous monologues are delivered in his default stage persona: the narrator of his Lake Wobegon skits. That character is an anonymous Midwestern man who spent his life in a little town. He's good natured and means well, but stereotypes are often all he has to work with. I can't imagine how Savage et al can believe Keillor thinks of all gay men as polka-dotted flamers, all Californians as abrie-eating yuppies, all Texans as gallon-hatted cowboys, and so on. His befuddled narrator is always trading on stereotypes that the performer himself is far too traveled to countenance.

PHC began as, and still is a light spoof on variety radio of the 30s, 40s and 50s. Those shows were full of unselfconscious prejudice and racism. PHC was and still is reacting to that though gentle caricature. Garrison's been doing it so long most of his audience doesn't remember what he's satirizing. But he still does.
posted by clarknova at 11:26 PM on March 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

posted by spacewrench at 7:41 PM on March 4 [1 favorite +] [!]

What a lame attempt to have a letter that the local paper didn't publish put on here.
I don't see what this has to do with anything.

That said, PHC got me interested in NPR back in '98. I'll never forget that.
posted by hal_c_on at 1:08 AM on March 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

I grew up in the midwest and later moved to the east coast for fifteen years and and now to the west coast for a decade. Garrrison Keillor takes me back to my own childhood and that era of civility and kindness and church potlucks and knowing everyone else's business more than anyone else does. I really hope that I get to see him live at least once before he dies.
posted by bendy at 1:16 AM on March 5, 2011

Why would there be any Keillor hate?

I've been a fan of his show since I was a wee lad, but recently discovered that he thinks my spiritual beliefs are "a refuge for the immature and indolent". That makes it hard for me to enjoy his "folksiness".
posted by brundlefly at 1:39 AM on March 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

What a lame attempt to have a letter that the local paper didn't publish put on here.
I don't see what this has to do with anything.

Funny Times isn't a local paper. Whether it published the letter has nothing to do with its appropriateness here. The letter is about Garrison Keillor, who is the subject of this thread.
posted by brundlefly at 1:44 AM on March 5, 2011

and the mans on Facebook for Christs sake!

So this Facebook thing - its important enough to judge someone positively if they are on it?
Considering the staff of Facebook is on records for taking a password from Facebook and using it on other systems - why should anyone use a system where the staff is lacking "self control"?

I was under the impression the important thing on MetaFilter was if they were on MetaFilter.
posted by rough ashlar at 3:06 AM on March 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

Though I am from Chicago, mere pretender to the claim of Midwestern charms, I maintain some of those hilarious Midwestern sensibilities.

All of my older relations insist upon identifying the perceived ethnic and religious origin of anyone they are telling a story about. Maybe it is some genetic thing that we all will succumb to?

As for the looking in hospital rooms and making note of the various "feebs" and "crips". Isn't that just a look into the soul of every human? Maybe we don't think in those words, but when we are in a hospital, just before or after we think "god help that poor soul," there is always a moment of selfish relief that we aren't that guy.

And "I am fine." The worse I feel, the worse I believe I seem to feel, the more I insist I am fine. "I am fine" means "Clearly, I am suffering. Thank you for your concern. But don't worry about me, let me suffer in peace." If a Midwesterner ever informs you they aren't fine, call a Medevac because their heart has likely exploded.
posted by gjc at 4:41 AM on March 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

This post has been up for 10 hours now and I still keep thinking "My Above-Average Stroke" must be a Ray Allen autobiography whenever I scroll by.
posted by nathancaswell at 4:58 AM on March 5, 2011

2 years ago, at the ripe old age of 37, my husband had a pretty severe stroke in his midbrain. The pictures show that a spot the size of a nickel is dead. He had an undiagnosed autoimmune disease.....antiphospholipid antibody syndrome. basically, he clots too easily. Most people figure this out with a leg clot, an arm clot, ours was a mid brain clot. He has to take blood thinners and be monitored for the rest of his life. He didn't drive for 7 months. had troubles for about a year total but he is perfectly "normal" now....with a dead spot the sixe of a nickel in his midbrain. His Neuro is amazed...I'm amazed....He's amazing!!!
posted by pearlybob at 5:04 AM on March 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

Keillor the Prairie Home Companion performer is the well cultivated voice that clarknova describes. However his pieces on Salon are not typically in that voice, so if you happened to be on the receiving end of the bile, it becomes a lot harder to explain it away as such.

And even without that excuse, when folksy personas are used to preach about the rightness of social conservative values and the wrongness of otherwise, I find folksy a lot less charming.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 6:32 AM on March 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

For those of you who aren't familiar with Keillor's writing outside of a PHC monologue, try leafing through "Homegrown Democrat", which was a lifeline to me after the 2004 election, or "We Are Still Married," a collection of short essays and stories.

To build on what genghis referred to up there, about Keillor "reminding people outside America every week that all those values the rest of us want to like America for, but which we all - deep down - tend to assume are dead in real life, are in fact still there," his essays about small "D" democrats and large "D" speak directly to that.

"Being a Democrat "was simply the way I was brought up, starting with" the Golden Rule, the Minnesota maxim "You are not so different from other people so don't give yourself airs," and the Christian reminder "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God." The good democrat...distrusts privilege and power, believes in equality, supports unions, and is individualist—identity politics is Pundit Speak...Democrats are thought to be weak on foreign policy... but what we fear is arrogance...I am a liberal and liberalism is the politics of kindness. Liberals stand for tolerance, magnanimity, community spirit, the defense of the weak against the powerful, love of learning, freedom of belief, art and poetry, city life, the very things that make America worth dying for."

He won't make everyone happy with his writing or his theater, he doesn't want to. He is not always politically correct, his skewering of churches and religious dogma provides much evidence of that. But I've also seen plenty of self-deprecation and self-apology woven into his work, and I'm inclined to believe the best of his intentions and humor, not the worst.
posted by jeanmari at 7:11 AM on March 5, 2011 [5 favorites]

I know that meta-commentary is discouraged, but damnit, that comment from genghis is one of the best things I've ever read on this site.

I might not see eye-to-eye with him on every single issue or be entertained by every single one of his programs, but Garrison Keillor is undoubtedly in a class of his own.
posted by schmod at 10:25 AM on March 5, 2011

I don't consider myself a Keillor fan but that so-called homophobic comment that spacewrench linked to was so mild it tasted of mayonnaise, and not the Miracle Whip kind.
posted by blucevalo at 12:25 PM on March 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

Having grown up with PHC often on the radio, then those lovely days of adolescence when he was writing for Salon and I had just discovered that my political opinions were not as insane as my mother thought they were... I didn't really find the "homophobic" stuff to be so, because there's a similar sort of picking on all kinds of people in all his material, and it's supposed to be good-natured. He even calls out *himself* the stereotype, there. There is a little mental jump to make between the stereotypical queen and the stereotypical dad. It's not, "Dear God, don't let the homos get married!" It's, "Congratulations! Now you get to be boring just like the rest of us." He sort of draws attention to it here, the dryness of the humor, how where he grew up you were *supposed* to have a flat affect.

And you can see the same affectionate stuff here. The young men with the fishhooks in their eyebrows. I don't think for a second he doesn't appreciate their caring or anybody else's.

I'm glad he's made a good recovery. I had a cousin go through one and I can still tell that he's a little different than he used to be, moving just a little slower so that it's like watching a movie where the audio's out of sync, my memory of how he is and how he is now. I don't get any of the same feeling from reading this.
posted by gracedissolved at 1:14 PM on March 5, 2011

Keillor sometimes strikes an off note -- as when he sounds like an old lech on PHC -- but the amount of mildly amusing, humanity-improving stuff he's generated is prodigious.

Also, I generally like it when people recover from strokes.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 9:58 PM on March 5, 2011

I just don't know. I have heard PHC and disliked it. And once, I tuned in, and was totally caught up in to a phony advertisement he was doing. Some machine to keep your cat entertained while you're out. See, this thing was the greatest! It would spit out a pingpong ball every so often.

He went on and on and on and on and on about it. I guess that's how he does things. Eventually, I realized, there was a point to going on and on and on and on. Because that's what the machine did. It went on and on and on and on, all day long, spitting out pingpong balls, for your cat to chase. All day. On and on and on and on and on.

Eventually (it took quite a while) I realized what this meant. This meant an evening spent, every night after work, going on and on and on and on...picking up pingpong balls to put back in to the miracle cat entertaining machine.

And then I heard him mention his location, this Lake Woebegone, where "all the children are above average". I was rather surprised to hear something like that on radio.
posted by Goofyy at 6:03 AM on March 7, 2011