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I do not promise that I will never slay P.B. Fouke himself, but he knows that if I do murder him, it will be only out of genuine love and necessity.
March 8, 2011 7:25 PM   Subscribe

P. B. FOUKE: You have my personal guarantee that the goods we sell are priced as low as is economically feasible. A cent less, and our children would surely starve. You have my pledge that I will buy your quality furs at above market prices. Ours is a business of pristine furs. J. F. SWANTON: The true fur trapper is born with a mouthful of blood and hair! I was born in a hollow log and reared at the sour teat of a wild boar. As soon as my legs could bear my weight, I slew the bristly beast that mothered me and bit the skin from its body with my scarce infant teeth.

These two missives from best friends and business rivals P. B. Fouke and J. F. Swanton began the Fur Trapper Saga. God has been found, eyes have been lost, orphans have been trapped, and visions of cylinders were had, but after a long wait, their duel has returned.
posted by Sticherbeast (17 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite


"I was trying to count how many lies could be found in those nine words, and had reached four, with promise of more, when..." - Dashiell Hammett
posted by randomkeystrike at 7:30 PM on March 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Those loveable Fur Trappers!
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:43 PM on March 8, 2011

Argh. how 'bout ONE non-SA link, beside this, preferably with context? Because uh, yeah, SA. Failing that, just some context?
posted by mwhybark at 7:47 PM on March 8, 2011

It is a Saga of letters from fictional Fur Trappers. There is no other context.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 7:54 PM on March 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

For me, it's been about about Dorroile and Weyre and the Gentleman's Bore. But I relish this new series of things to feast upon as well.
posted by Earthtopus at 8:04 PM on March 8, 2011

SA's humor has suffered but it's been putting out some great short fiction. Haven't read this yet, but Instruction For A (a post-apocalyptic saga told by the invaders) and CONEX (starts as Craigslist parody. ends as Lovecraft in a prison) were scary as hell.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 8:09 PM on March 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

The Fur Trapper Saga has long been one of the best reasons for Something Awful's continued existence, a deeply weird series of posts even by SA's standards. Glad they're still keeping it going, even if it looks like it's only getting an update a year now.
posted by ardgedee at 8:11 PM on March 8, 2011

Sooo... If I'm getting this right... P. B. FOUKE is an ancestor of Charlie Sheen?
posted by banished at 8:12 PM on March 8, 2011

SA is underrated. SA's highs are very high indeed, but its lows are pretty forgettable. The best of SomethingAwful would rank happily alongside a best of National Lampoon of similar length, however.

Instruction for A was absolutely fantastic, but I've never read CONEX. The DOGS FOR SALE stuff is pretty great, too, as are the WTF D&D? and Fashion SWAT. I've also belatedly discovered that the Levi Johnston stuff makes me laugh, although I don't think that's quite up MeFi's alley. YMMV.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:14 PM on March 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

There's also some neat stuff in the forums. I've learned alot about being more socially apt from lurking there and some of the Let's Play threads are GOLD.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 8:22 PM on March 8, 2011

It's unfortunate that Metafilter's dated feelings on SA are akin to their feelings generalizations about Anonymous and a lot of the social web in general: based on joke threads and a few bad seeds. There's plenty of good to be found when you're actually digging into the content, and not the obtuse idea that the internet is still nothing but mouth breathing teenagers who still satisfy themselves on Newgrounds and

A good portion of those folks paid that $10 fee before you paid your $5.
posted by june made him a gemini at 8:43 PM on March 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

a very funny, very twisted pastiche and parody of 19th century prose advertisement
posted by pyramid termite at 9:17 PM on March 8, 2011

A good portion of those folks paid that $10 fee before you paid your $5.

That's the strange thing. SA and MeFi are the only two forums that require for you to pay for registration. The money makes all of SA's rules more enforceable, since bans have meaning.

Hate how they randomly block threads and forums from lurkers though.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:45 PM on March 8, 2011

The brain of an antelope tases like cantaloupe
posted by contraption at 9:50 PM on March 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

I guess we all discover McSweeney's sooner or later.
posted by tremspeed at 4:41 AM on March 9, 2011

SA invented Slender Man, and for that I can never, ever forgive them.
posted by hippybear at 6:46 AM on March 9, 2011

Make that "tastes." A trapper would have no idea how anything tases.
posted by contraption at 4:30 PM on March 9, 2011

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