"It's the only grain that's a complete, perfect protein"

March 9, 2011 5:22 AM

How to cook quinoa with David Lynch. Part 1, part 2. Yes, that David Lynch.
posted by londonmark (34 comments total)

It's apparently part of the promotion for 2006's INLAND EMPIRE. Previously on MeFi.
posted by londonmark at 5:23 AM on March 9, 2011

i also thought "what a nice pan" OMG david lynch and i THINK THE SAME
posted by nathancaswell at 5:36 AM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

He can make even rudimentary kitchen tasks seem kind of spooky:

"I'm going to fill the pan at the sink. With some fresh. Water."
posted by tractorfeed at 5:38 AM on March 9, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'm gonna look at the clock. The clock says SEVEN THIRTY FOUR.
posted by nathancaswell at 5:39 AM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

There is something about the deliberate pacing and simplicity of the monologue in Part 1 that makes me think of some sort of Bizarro World Mr. Rogers.
posted by drlith at 5:43 AM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah this is one of the special features on the INLAND EMPIRE 2-disc DVD set. There's another one where Lynch is talking, telling a story or something, and doing something in his workshop and you can't figure out what until he's done and walks away and you can see that he was hand-making a screwdriver prop for the movie because apparently he still does everything himself by hand?
posted by shakespeherian at 5:48 AM on March 9, 2011

I think my favorite random DVD extra is still the Spike Jonze interview on the Being John Malkovich DVD. It ends... somewhat abruptly.
posted by kmz at 5:53 AM on March 9, 2011

To be honest, I think I liked this more than Inland Empire.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:04 AM on March 9, 2011 [3 favorites]

It would have been hugely improved by putting Gordon Ramsay in there to yell at him and reduce him to tears.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:06 AM on March 9, 2011 [5 favorites]

*sssip*
Hmm. Needs more anty severed ear.
posted by pracowity at 6:07 AM on March 9, 2011

Oh, I've been pronouncing it "kwin-oh-ah" not "keen-wa".
posted by DU at 6:07 AM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

How to cook quinoa with David Lynch.

I prefer vegetarian quinoa, myself. Admittedly, I haven't tried it with David Lynch, but I don't see how I'd use all of him before he went bad.
posted by Malor at 6:34 AM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

...some sort of Bizarro World Mr. Rogers.

Wait. Isn't Mr. Rogers the Bizarro World Mr. Rogers?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:42 AM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hmph. The video really needed better lighting. I mean yeah, it's David Lynch, but show what he's doing and kill the mood lighting.
posted by zarq at 6:45 AM on March 9, 2011

... because apparently he still does everything himself by hand?

David Lynch: "I love working with wood. I love the smell of cutting wood. All woods have a smell, it’s so beautiful. Pine is my very favorite. I have a SawStop, do you know what that is?"
posted by battleshipkropotkin at 6:53 AM on March 9, 2011

Yes, I heart David Lynch so much that I even enjoy watching him cook!
posted by PepperMax at 7:05 AM on March 9, 2011

I prefer vegetarian quinoa, myself.

It's been a while since I watched the DVD but I seem to recall him specifying vegetable bouillon. Unless those crazy amino acids are animal derived, which I didn't think was the case.
posted by aught at 7:11 AM on March 9, 2011

Whatever you do, don't watch this video on an iphone.
posted by sswiller at 7:32 AM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Aught, please re-read Malor's comment.
posted by unwordy at 7:40 AM on March 9, 2011

It's been a while since I watched the DVD but I seem to recall him specifying vegetable bouillon. Unless those crazy amino acids are animal derived, which I didn't think was the case.

IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT EATING DAVID LYNCH

yeah... now it's dark
posted by shakespeherian at 7:41 AM on March 9, 2011

IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT EATING DAVID LYNCH

Yes, sorry, my slapdash construction. I got it :)
posted by londonmark at 7:48 AM on March 9, 2011

Aught, please re-read Malor's comment.

D'oh.
posted by aught at 7:56 AM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

My favourite story is that he won't allow food to be cooked in the house. True or false? "OK, now look at this," he says. "You have a lot of works on paper, say, in a house. Why in the world would you go into that house and spray grease on to those works of paper, unless it was an idea that came to you to deteriorate that work in some way? And this is what cooking can do. Also, wherever you can smell that cooking, it must be landing on the walls and y'know what I mean. So it is unfortunate that kitchens are in a house. To my mind, they should be a side building, easily hosed out, cleaned, and the odours and all the stuff that go with it away from the workspace."

So there is no kitchen in his house in LA? He shakes his head, with phlegmatic resignation. "I've let it go ... I've moved most of the work away from the kitchen. There is a kitchen in the house and it has been used for any number of meals." Is it true that it caused a problem with Isabella Rossellini? He bursts out laughing. "Hohohohohahahaha! I don't think so. I think that's a myth." The full myth is that Rossellini left him because of his kitchen intolerance, though in her autobiography she says he left her and that she was heartbroken.

Lynch cooking is just wrong to me... in my universe he still eats and drinks only is his local diner, having the same thing every day.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 7:59 AM on March 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

It appears, along with a shared birthplace, I share a love of quinoa with David Lynch. If anyone has some spare millions laying around, I would like to test my new hypothesis that I am also a surrealist film director.
posted by peat at 7:59 AM on March 9, 2011

Are you also an Eagle Scout?
posted by shakespeherian at 8:31 AM on March 9, 2011

Chrisopher Walken makes chicken with pears
posted by mkultra at 8:38 AM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'd like to thank fearfulsymmetry, for turning me on to the following paragraph:

Is it true that he has a bottled uterus on his desk? He shakes his head vigorously. "I don't have a uterus on my desk." OK, what about not on his desk? He nods. "Yes, I have a bottle with a uterus in it. It was never on my desk, it's somewhere in the house. That belonged to Raffaella de Laurentiis, Dino's daughter. She had it removed. I didn't ask her for it. She thought I might appreciate it, and she had the doctor package it and send it for me." And did he appreciate it? "Very much."
posted by nathancaswell at 8:58 AM on March 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

I got this in my inbox and thought of making a post out of it, since it was a convergence of two of my favorite things: David Lynch and Tom Waits.

They are doing a project for charity and there's music to boot.

David Lynch Foundation Music
posted by cjorgensen at 9:46 AM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Gosh, I could watch that guy read the weather report, for pete's sake.
posted by sonascope at 10:28 AM on March 9, 2011 [3 favorites]

Hey cjorgensen, over here.

I think it's real weird that he uses a nice copper pan and holds it with a paper towel.
posted by domnit at 10:37 AM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

awesome, cjorgensen. love love love the DLF.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:29 PM on March 9, 2011

Celebrities with cooking videos seems to be a Thing: Nana Visitor has a whole channel devoted to it.
posted by Harry at 1:22 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

That's not a pan, it's a pot David.
posted by bardic at 5:31 PM on March 9, 2011

I want more of the David Lynch simulacrum and less of the David Lynch pop star.
posted by at the crossroads at 8:23 PM on March 9, 2011