Getting Illuminated

March 9, 2011 2:16 PM

Could you last 46 days on dopplebocks alone? One man is about to find out -- in the spirit of European monks centuries ago, he's giving up food during Lent. "For the next 46 days, under the supervision of a doctor and spiritual advisor, Wilson will drink only Illuminator and blog about the journey."
posted by naju (70 comments total)

under the supervision of a doctor and spiritual advisor

One hopes those are two different people.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 2:19 PM on March 9, 2011 [12 favorites]

I wonder if the beers in the olden days has less alcohol because the yeasts weren't as well-bred. But certainly you could get a lot of calories from partially (or in this case, fully) fermented beer.
posted by GuyZero at 2:20 PM on March 9, 2011

If he were a proper monk he'd be off in his cell in quiet contemplation of his dopplebock rather than making a big show of it.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:21 PM on March 9, 2011 [17 favorites]

You know, I don't use the word "hero" very often....
posted by Floydd at 2:21 PM on March 9, 2011 [17 favorites]

but I’ll admit I had a few Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups on the drive home

Well, at least he's eating from both food groups.
posted by goethean at 2:22 PM on March 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

GuyZero: even "fully" fermented beer has lots of maltodextrin, because it is a byproduct of fermentation and is not digestible by beer yeast. It has an even higher glycemic index than standard table sugar - so lack of calories would not be your problem when drinking a bunch of bock, that's for sure.
posted by rkent at 2:24 PM on March 9, 2011

GuyZero: "I wonder if the beers in the olden days has less alcohol because the yeasts weren't as well-bred. But certainly you could get a lot of calories from partially (or in this case, fully) fermented beer"

Yes, there was a lot of work done in the 19th century to breed better yeast and develop more efficient brewing processes that created clearer higher alcohol beers.
posted by octothorpe at 2:25 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Dopplebock is apparently a kind of beer.
posted by DU at 2:25 PM on March 9, 2011

It's 228-calories per 12-oz serving. And the monks were encouraged to drink as much as they could.

He might lack for some vitamins, but he's not going to waste away.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:26 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

> Dopplebock is apparently a kind of beer.

Bravo.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:26 PM on March 9, 2011 [9 favorites]

Could you last 46 days on dopplebocks alone?

I'm pretty sure there was some point in college where I did something similar.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 2:26 PM on March 9, 2011 [5 favorites]

so lack of calories would not be your problem when drinking a bunch of bock, that's for sure.

As a former university student I am well-acquainted with the calorie content of modern beers of all types. Dude isn't going to starve although I'm expecting significant "illumination".
posted by GuyZero at 2:26 PM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

You know, I don't use the word "hero" very often....

And I wouldn't use it here either. I kind of rolled my eyes at the whole thing and Burhanistan touched on a very good point. The "hero" in this situation would be his DD for 46 days straight.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 2:27 PM on March 9, 2011

Do yourself a a flavour and try Ayinger Celebrator Doppelbock.
posted by srboisvert at 2:27 PM on March 9, 2011 [8 favorites]

So he's going back to college?
posted by cjorgensen at 2:29 PM on March 9, 2011

gonna be pissing an awful lot.
posted by edgeways at 2:29 PM on March 9, 2011

I wouldn't want to be within 10 yards of that guy's digestive system during this time.
posted by gagglezoomer at 2:30 PM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

Mister Fabulous: "Could you last 46 days on dopplebocks alone?

I'm pretty sure there was some point in college where I did something similar"

I'm pretty sure that I got most of my calories in college from beer, pizza slices and chili dogs bought at the AM/PM at 2:30 in the morning.
posted by octothorpe at 2:31 PM on March 9, 2011

Bravo.

Yes, that too.
posted by bonehead at 2:31 PM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

He'll be able to do this, no problem. But he will probably want to be very careful re adding food items back in on the other end of this.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:31 PM on March 9, 2011

Bravo.

Just providing the context the poster declined to. I can't be the only one who's never heard of this.
posted by DU at 2:35 PM on March 9, 2011 [7 favorites]

Oh doing stupid stuff for the sake of a blog, will you ever leave us? Without such a vessel to fill, how would it even marginally be worth it: not like your friends are going to want to hear about it for even five days.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 2:38 PM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

DU's right, I should've provided more context for the non-beer-obsessed. Sorry y'all!
posted by naju at 2:40 PM on March 9, 2011 [3 favorites]

Just providing the context the poster declined to. I can't be the only one who's never heard of this.

Dopplebock is a fairly known beer style now unless you're talking to the macro beer drinkers (Budweiser, Miller Lite, other shit beer, etc.).
posted by MaryDellamorte at 2:40 PM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

This is something I can aspire to.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:41 PM on March 9, 2011

Just providing the context the poster declined to. I can't be the only one who's never heard of this.

The first link goes to a website for "draft magazine," a magazine about beer...
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:41 PM on March 9, 2011

Could you last 46 days on dopplebocks alone?

I'm pretty sure I did this when I was in the Army in Germany. Mmm, Aecht Schlenkerla Eiche!
posted by me & my monkey at 2:43 PM on March 9, 2011

> The first link goes to a website for "draft magazine," a magazine about beer...

Silly, you're supposed to offer a summary opinion as fast as possible based on the text of the post.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:43 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh also I think some states have a cap on the amount of alcohol beers can have which would probably rule out dopplebocks.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 2:43 PM on March 9, 2011

all i know is that i'm smashed out of my wits and this thread ain't helpgin
posted by the mad poster! at 2:43 PM on March 9, 2011

rkent - maltodextrin is not a fermentation byproduct; it's produced in the mash. As your link noted, it's "enzymatically derived from any starch."
posted by nickmark at 2:44 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I guess all the good spiritual journeys have been taken already, huh? It's tough being a modern trailblazer.

Not that I have any better ideas...
posted by Salvor Hardin at 2:45 PM on March 9, 2011

Super Size Me...With Whiskey.
posted by Dr.Enormous at 2:47 PM on March 9, 2011

I've actually wondered the same thing, about going on a beer fast like monks used to. I'm not quite sure how he came to the decision of using an American craft beer, and a doppelbock at that. Surely, I would have gone for something Belgian or Dutch.

I'm pretty sure he'll be fine. Last night I had an Avery Mephistopheles Stout in lieu of dinner, and wasn't hungry at all.

And, this whole "dopplebock is a kind of beer" derail is stupid. DU illuminated a good point, and exercising your "I knew about this kind of beer before it was cool" makes you sound like a hipster douchebag.
posted by jabberjaw at 2:48 PM on March 9, 2011 [5 favorites]

Do yourself a a flavour and try Ayinger Celebrator Doppelbock.

I'm partial to Aventinus Wheat Doppelbock. While I was still learning my delicious beers, I would get Ayinger and Aventinus confused when ordering. Seeing as how they're both wonderful, however, it's not a huge problem.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 2:50 PM on March 9, 2011

Oh doing stupid stuff for the sake of a blog, will you ever leave us?

Dude, at least it's an ethos.
posted by Skeptic at 2:51 PM on March 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

> And, this whole "dopplebock is a kind of beer" derail is stupid.

Is calling people douchebags good at stopping derails? Dopplebocks have been around for centuries, and the link clearly provides further information.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:52 PM on March 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

Wouldn't a boozy monk take a vow of silence?
posted by jenlovesponies at 2:52 PM on March 9, 2011

Could you survive for a day on 46 Doppelbocks? That's what I want to know.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:53 PM on March 9, 2011 [6 favorites]

nickmark - Hmm, thanks. Must've been getting confused because, in any event, it is not digested by the yeast and remains in the finished product.
posted by rkent at 2:59 PM on March 9, 2011

Speaking from the experience of a 7 day liquid fast that allowed alcohol I predict that this guy is going to learn an entirely new and alarming definition for the phrase "beer shits".
posted by loquacious at 3:00 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

WHEN can we expect a blog from a guy who will be executed by some state a week or so before he gets a needle to put him to death? Will he allow comments? have links to other death sentence bloggers? have ads at his site? use 404 the minute he goes on hiatus?
posted by Postroad at 3:07 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Could you last 46 days on dopplebocks alone?

I'm pretty sure there was some point in college where I did something similar.

Oh me too ... but never alone. Always with friends!
posted by chavenet at 3:09 PM on March 9, 2011

- Still, it's solid food, his good genius urged, I'm a stickler for solid food, his one and only reason being not gormandising in the least but regular meals as the sine qua non of any proper work, mental or manual. You ought to eat more solid food. You would feel a different man.

- Liquids I can eat, Stephen said.
posted by tigrefacile at 3:16 PM on March 9, 2011

Do yourself a a flavour and try Ayinger Celebrator Doppelbock.

This is a good choice, you can gnaw on the plastic goat that comes with each bottle if the hunger pangs are getting to you.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 3:16 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

This seems to be slightly better thought-out than my attempt long ago to survive for a week solely on Jagermeister and Cheez-Whiz.
posted by double block and bleed at 3:18 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wasn't impressed by the drinking nothing but beer for 46 days straight, but then when I found out he'd be blogging about it too, well.. that's just grand.
posted by skewed at 3:19 PM on March 9, 2011

all i know is that i'm smashed out of my wits and this thread ain't helpgin

doppelbock is apparently a type of beer
posted by Greg Nog at 3:22 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

GuyZero: I wonder if the beers in the olden days has less alcohol because the yeasts weren't as well-bred.

Actually, people have been brewing beer as strong as the one Wilson is drinking for quite some time. Until you get into very strong beer, a large determinant of the the alcohol content is how much fermentable sugar is in the wort.

From about 1600 to 1900, there were four classes of beers brewed on estates, although not all kinds were brewed by every brewer. On the bottom was weak and watery small beer, usually the last runnings of whatever was being brewed, although occasionally brewed on its own in summer months. Next up the scale in strength was "table" beer, what we today would regard as ordinary strength, roughly in the 1.050 (12°P) (4.5-percent alcohol) range. Next was March and October beer at about 1.080 (19 °P) followed by rarely brewed "double" beers, well over 1.100 (24 °P) (9-percent plus), and reserved for special occasions. (Randy Mosher, Radical Brewing, p. 130)

The Illuminator Wilson is drinking has an Original Gravity (density/sugar concentration) of 19 °P and ended up fermenting to 6.67% abv, definitely within the range of historically brewed beers.
posted by JiBB at 3:24 PM on March 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

At least Guinness has vitamins.
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:46 PM on March 9, 2011

Oh noes, his check liver light just came on.
posted by mosk at 3:57 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I just want to point out that you don't traditionally fast through Sunday during lent, since Sunday is always a feast day and you don't fast on a feast day. I'm kind of wondering who his "spiritual advisor" is and why they didn't know this.
posted by brenton at 4:06 PM on March 9, 2011

I survived 21 days on beer and 3 seafood meals, one every Sunday. It was an illuminating experience. I also drank the water from all the coconuts I could find. Funny he will be blogging about it. I expect some fart and diarrhea talk by day 3, and him developing the skill to smell and identify every ingredient in every solid meal being cooked in a 3 mile radius by day 5.

When I make beer there is usually some left over malt and adjuncts. Once every few months I take all the leftovers, add enough base malt to complete a recipe, and brew a surprise beer.

Last fall a lot of oats and dextrinous malts went into it. The beer was delicious, thick from the unfermentable sugars, oily from the oats, highly hopped but sweet enough to balance it. I did not chill the wort quickly enough and did not filter or clarify, so it was full of protein. My brew calculator put it at 5.5% abv, 360 calories per bottle.

In all seriousness, it was a good breakfast substitute and the best post workout drink I know.
posted by Dr. Curare at 4:34 PM on March 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

That's one long drinking binge.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 4:54 PM on March 9, 2011

I just want to point out that you don't traditionally fast through Sunday during lent, since Sunday is always a feast day and you don't fast on a feast day. I'm kind of wondering who his "spiritual advisor" is and why they didn't know this.

You could always read the article.

I call myself a Christian, and denominations don’t mean anything to me. The bickering amongst denominations is just silly.

Clearly he is not a Catholic, who barely even acknowledge there ARE denominations. He's not playing by these Feast Day rules.
posted by norm at 4:59 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

me & my monkey: "Could you last 46 days on dopplebocks alone?

I'm pretty sure I did this when I was in the Army in Germany. Mmm, Aecht Schlenkerla Eiche"

I like their Rauchbier myself. Dinner in a bottle.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:57 PM on March 9, 2011

the link clearly provides further information.

Yes, this is the exactly the problem I was addressing. Rather than hiding basic information behind the link, I brought it into the thread.

I realize you irrationally hate me, but that hatred should really be a MeTa, not derailing a thread with a stupid argument about whether information on what the post is talking about is appropriate to the post.
posted by DU at 5:59 PM on March 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

In case you're curious about bock beer's history as a Lenten beverage, and how doppelbock was given papal approval...

The Paulaners felt, however, that such a strong brew with such delightful qualities might be just a bit too much of an indulgence for Lent. So they decided to ask the Holy Father in Rome for a special dispensation so that they could continued to brew it with a clear conscience. The Paulaners dispatched a cask of Lenten beer to Rome for the pope to try and to pass judgment. During its transport across the Alps and along the burning sun of Italy, unfortunately—or fortunately—the cask tossed and turned, and heated for several weeks—a classic condition for causing beer to turn sour and undrinkable. So when the Holy Father tasted the much-praised stuff from Munich, he found it (appropriately) disgusting. His decision: Because the brew was so vile, it was probably beneficial for the souls of the Munich monks to make and drink as much of it as they could. Therefore, he willingly gave the brewing of this new, allegedly rotten, beer style his blessing.

posted by kyleg at 6:13 PM on March 9, 2011 [5 favorites]

Beer and religion? The Hold Steady need to write a song about this guy
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:06 PM on March 9, 2011

Wouldn't a boozy monk take a vow of silence?

Did you hear about the monk who trained pigs to fight?

He started by taking a sow of violence.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:10 PM on March 9, 2011 [8 favorites]

Beer, especially if the brewer's yeast isn't filtered out at the end, is very nutritious.

But it is missing a few vital things like Vitamin C and B12.
posted by eye of newt at 8:19 PM on March 9, 2011

eye of newt: "Beer, especially if the brewer's yeast isn't filtered out at the end, is very nutritious.

But it is missing a few vital things like Vitamin C and B12."

Will he be taking vitamins? They're not a foodstuff, after all, so they should be okay?
posted by Chrysostom at 8:38 PM on March 9, 2011

Rauchbier. Makes me shudder. I still have bad memories of that style.

You'd think that he would at least go for one of the several beers brewed by actual monks. You can even get them in trippels! Why not take a good thing and make it better by ramping it way up? What could possibly go wrong?

Maybe throw in a few Utopias just to unwind at the end of a tough day.
posted by feloniousmonk at 9:19 PM on March 9, 2011

unless you're talking to the macro beer drinkers

Almost all beer drinkers are macro beer drinkers. I'd wager most of them have never heard of doppelbock. Just because you know the difference between a dubbel and a dunkelweizen doesn't mean 95% of the planet doesn't have the faintest idea what you're talking about.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 9:26 PM on March 9, 2011

"But, Illuminator came out great, so I can drink this for 46 days. I brought home four six-barrel kegs."

Hot damn, this man is a beer drinker's beer drinker. I doff my hat.
posted by Xoebe at 9:43 PM on March 9, 2011

I like their Rauchbier myself. Dinner in a bottle.

The Eiche IS a Rauchbier, that also happens to be a doppelbock. They also make an Urbock (which is all I can find here in the US), a Weizen and a seasonal Marzen, which are also all Rauchbier!

But yeah, I love Rauchbier. Living in Bamberg for a couple of years really spoiled me. That is beer paradise.
posted by me & my monkey at 9:44 PM on March 9, 2011

I have never heard of a marzen/rauchbier. This changes everything. I have to see if I can find one in the states.
posted by feloniousmonk at 10:00 PM on March 9, 2011

I have never heard of a marzen/rauchbier. This changes everything. I have to see if I can find one in the states.

Victory Brewing makes a nice one.
posted by fixedgear at 4:24 AM on March 10, 2011

Chrysostom: "Will he be taking vitamins? They're not a foodstuff, after all, so they should be okay?"

I don't know if he will, but it certainly would be allowed. I have friends who fully fast through Lent (no food until dinner) and the Church strongly advises them to take vitamin supplements.
posted by charred husk at 5:59 AM on March 10, 2011

Today is day 16. The diary is a pretty boring read - nothing much is happening, other than him losing weight and having slightly elevated potassium levels in his blood. He writes about conversations with his pastor and about staying on focus, but the writing is pretty lifeless. When he does talk about the health effects it's often the past tense - e.g. "When I got up, I felt none of the wobbliness that I had experienced the two previous days." when he didn't mention that on previous days.

I wanted vivid descriptions of his day, so I'm disappointed. I think he mentions actually putting a glass of beer to his lips only once. I'll check back in 30 days.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 6:49 PM on March 24, 2011