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I was like, ‘Superman? Nah, nah, that’s not for me.’
March 17, 2011 7:19 AM   Subscribe

Clint Eastwood as Superman or James Bond? ‘It could have happened.’
posted by Fizz (31 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
I say old chap, I bet know what you're thinking "Did the distinguished gentlemen fire six shots or only five?" In all of the excitement, I cannot myself recall. But being as this is a Walther PPK and I am an excellent marksman, I submit to you that you have to ask yourself one question, "Do I feel fortunate today?"
posted by three blind mice at 7:28 AM on March 17, 2011 [16 favorites]


Eastwood as Bond: OK, although it would be like a Roger Moore with an American accent (which is to say "even worse")
Eastwood as Superman: lolskinny
posted by DU at 7:33 AM on March 17, 2011


He was pretty old even by the time the Superman movie came out, and really is too rough looking to play the part. Besides, humanity was truly better served by the orangutan movie.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:35 AM on March 17, 2011 [2 favorites]


Christopher Walken or Kurt Russel as Han Solo. Think about it.
posted by Fizz at 7:37 AM on March 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Eastwood in tights is like John Wayne in a tutu. One of those things you don't want to go visual on.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 7:38 AM on March 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Eastwood as Superman, Lee Van Cleef as Zod, Eli Wallach as Jimmy Olsen.
posted by permafrost at 7:50 AM on March 17, 2011 [3 favorites]


Kneel before Cleef.
posted by vbfg at 7:51 AM on March 17, 2011 [3 favorites]


"I ain't like that no more. I ain't the same, Jimmy. Lois, she straightened me up, cleared me of drinkin' whiskey and all. Just 'cause we're goin' on this killing, that don't mean I'm gonna go back to bein' the way I was. I just need the money, get a new start for them youngsters. Jimmy, you remember that drover I shot through the mouth and his teeth came out the back of his head? I think about him now and again. He didn't do anything to deserve to get shot, at least nothin' I could remember when I sobered up. "
posted by blue_beetle at 7:52 AM on March 17, 2011


> "Did the distinguished gentlemen fire six shots or only five?"

Gun pedantry: Bond would certainly keep one in the chamber in addition to a full magazine. Seven shots is much more stately.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:54 AM on March 17, 2011 [2 favorites]


I still say that Eastwood could play the awesomest Batman ever. A "The Dark Knight Returns" Batman.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:55 AM on March 17, 2011 [6 favorites]


If Eastwood's Batman was mostly delivered like William Munny, whiskey and all, then I would be sold.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:57 AM on March 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


"You get a role like that, and it locks you in a bit. True, I had the western genre and the ‘Dirty Harry’ role, but everybody made westerns and did cop movies; they didn’t seem as bad,”

Superhero movies are our generations' version of the western of the fifties and sixties, the cop movies of the seventies and early eighties. Escapism is always popular but it's form changes. Shane and Harry Callahan were both "superheros".
posted by bonehead at 8:03 AM on March 17, 2011 [2 favorites]


Gun pedantry: Bond would certainly keep one in the chamber in addition to a full magazine. Seven shots is much more stately.

Ah, but real western gunslingers kept the chamber empty as there were no safeties on early revolvers, so a six-shooter contained only 5 rounds.
posted by dazed_one at 8:07 AM on March 17, 2011


It could still happen. He's still alive.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:08 AM on March 17, 2011


> Ah, but real western gunslingers kept the chamber empty as there were no safeties on early revolvers, so a six-shooter contained only 5 rounds.

More pedantry: the Walther is a semi-auto which lets you load a magazine and chamber a round, then eject the magazine and top it off so you have 6 + 1.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:09 AM on March 17, 2011


Eastwood and the article are a little overheated. Of course a studio exec and an agent are going to talk about this kind of thing; doesn't mean it ever has a snowball's chance in hell of happening when the rubber meets the road. This happens all the time. I'm sure Brad Pitt's agent is going, "Baby, baby, you'd make a GREAT Superman. Let's give this Zach Snyder kid a call, whaddya say?"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:16 AM on March 17, 2011


The bit about the Broccoli family rings true. They're famous for making bad decisions with Bond. (George Lazenby, for instance).
posted by Optamystic at 8:20 AM on March 17, 2011


Before he got all crinkly and tubby, Bruce Campbell would have made the perfect Superman.
posted by notmydesk at 8:37 AM on March 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Before he got all crinkly and tubby, Bruce Campbell would have made the perfect Superman.

But his chin would kill!
posted by Fizz at 8:39 AM on March 17, 2011


It could still happen. He's still alive.

Fat chance, but you know if they did actually make a real adaptation of The Dark Knight Returns, with mutant gangs and a fascist America and angry, grizzled old Batman cleaning house, Eastwood would be perfect.
posted by Naberius at 9:05 AM on March 17, 2011 [2 favorites]


Interesting. I'm sure some deep 007 fans know better than I do, but the only American I've heard was seriously considered around that time was John Gavin. Anyway, one of the things you have to know about the Broccolis is that they always, uh, cast a wide casting net. Some of this is actually hardball negotiation with the actor they are already using, some of it is stop-gapping in case of a sudden loss of their moneymaker. But whenever they actually have an actor decide to leave (Brosnan, for example, did not, although Dalton sort of did), they definitely open up the process to find the right mix of bankable, affordable, available, and 007-able. That at one brief point they asked Clint -- and they would not have actually put him in the role without a screen test -- is unsurprising given his stardom, especially at that point in his career, before he became highly paid as well. Doesn't mean they would have actually gone with him, though.
posted by dhartung at 9:09 AM on March 17, 2011


The idea of Clint doing a British accent is breaking my brain a little bit.
posted by brundlefly at 9:21 AM on March 17, 2011


I could actually imagine Eastwood as a Bond type, but not James Bond. Something directed by Michael Mann, perhaps.
posted by oneirodynia at 9:43 AM on March 17, 2011 [2 favorites]


As I recall, both Burt Reynolds and Robert Redford were also considered for the part of Superman. I think they were just looking for star power to drive the production.
posted by doctor_negative at 9:48 AM on March 17, 2011


If Reynolds were cast as Superman they would've needed to redesign the suit so the S would be see-through. That chest hair wouldn't like to be hidden behind lycra.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:52 AM on March 17, 2011


Clint Eastwood as Opie Taylor
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3

Clint Eastwood as Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver
Episode ?
Episode ?
Episode ?

From local radio in the 1980s. Better in conception than in execution, unfortunately.
posted by Herodios at 10:23 AM on March 17, 2011


Kurt Russel as Han Solo. Think about it.

When some blue bug-eyed, spiky headed bounty hunter sits down at your table, points a blaster at your favorite head in the middle of the cantina, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Han Solo always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Solo?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."
posted by Hoopo at 10:31 AM on March 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Campbell would kill, even today, as Felix Lighter.
posted by bonehead at 10:52 AM on March 17, 2011 [1 favorite]


Good call - Kurt Russell would have been an awesome Solo.

And re: Eastwood - the more I see of his work, the more amazed I am. He's conquered every genre - and in some cases, literally defined it.
posted by davidmsc at 11:56 AM on March 17, 2011


> And re: Eastwood - the more I see of his work, the more amazed I am.

I just watched "Hereafter" and was kind of impressed by it. It's a schmaltzy afterlife thing but it manages to be really human and genuine (unlike, say, Ghost).
posted by Burhanistan at 12:30 PM on March 17, 2011


Eastwood is too upright to play James Bond and not upright enough for Superman.
They're polar opposites. Bond is Ultimate Cool (tho I prefer Eastwood). Supes is Ultimate Uncool
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:06 PM on March 17, 2011


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