Posh Nosh

March 19, 2011 9:57 AM

Posh Nosh "I once ate a Flayed Swordfish And Guava Millefeuille that reminded me, in one sweet mouthful, of a Sea Interlude by Britten, a painting by Turner and one of Michael Holding's rampant, perfect-length balls. Sniff your computer screen. What does it remind you of? Roasted fruits? A Hockney? Cherry blossom? No. It reminds you of nothing. Computer screens look, smell, feel (even taste) like nothing. They're devoid of sensuality. People who stare at screens all day should be shot. But there are so many millions of them. There simply isn't time." Architect's Fish and Chips :: Birthday Parties:: Paella :: Beautiful Food :: Bread and Butter Pudding :: Leftovers :: Sauces :: Comfort Food :: (BBC 2, Arabella Weir, Richard E. Grant, each episode 9 mins., previously)
posted by puny human (43 comments total)

People who stare at screens all day should be shot.

Lick my rampant, perfect-length balls.
posted by hermitosis at 10:05 AM on March 19, 2011 [19 favorites]

Hahahaha, I'd seen one or two of these before, and sort of forgotten about them. Terrific parody of food porn.
posted by codacorolla at 10:07 AM on March 19, 2011

This is pretty hilarious.
posted by empath at 10:12 AM on March 19, 2011

I smelled my screen, and its odor is kind of like wheat and glue, with chemical overtones. Pretty much smells like a painting.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:18 AM on March 19, 2011

Very funny. In Architect's Fish and Chips, he blind tastes tests olive oil - poured into wineglasses - "looking for that extra virgin." Swishes, spits, concludes "Hmm, that one's been around the block a few times."

Personally I prefer my olive oil promiscuous and tarty.
posted by three blind mice at 10:27 AM on March 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I can't tell if you guys are just being very dry or don't actually know this is a joke.
posted by empath at 10:31 AM on March 19, 2011

I can't tell if you guys are just being very dry...

Why don't you stick a bamboo skewer in me and see if it comes out clean?
posted by hermitosis at 10:34 AM on March 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Where in North Africa? You said North Africa, where exactly? Tunis? Triploi? Mersa Matruh? Barry, everyone.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 10:41 AM on March 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Achewood's Chris Onstad offers food criticism from the other end of the spectrum:
FiestaMax part 1
FiestaMax part 2
posted by codacorolla at 10:42 AM on March 19, 2011

The glimpses of domestic hell are wonderful. As is the casual, clueless snobbery from both of them. "It's around 20£ but don't let that put you off, sometimes the cheap ones are the best".

hermitosis: Surely you mean "Transfix me with a hand cut organically grown organic bamboo spearlet and observe if it is unsullied on the egress?"
posted by Grimgrin at 10:46 AM on March 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I always wondered where Withnail would find himself in the yuppie era.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:03 AM on March 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

My computer tech sniffed my (apparently dead) laptop to see if any components might have fried themselves as sort of a preliminary to seeing if it was worth further teardown.

So he takes a whiff and says "bread?"

I'd been working from Panera Bread company a lot...
posted by randomkeystrike at 11:10 AM on March 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love Richard E. Grant. He speaks like an angel getting a blowjob.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:11 AM on March 19, 2011 [10 favorites]

For something along the same lines in restaurant critique: Peter Arenseberg.

But he wasn't kidding.
posted by clarknova at 11:14 AM on March 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Woah, David Tennant!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 11:32 AM on March 19, 2011

I've always loved the way he gets increasingly sloshed over the course of each episode.
posted by sfred at 11:38 AM on March 19, 2011

The best parts are Arabella Weir's insouciant (yet piquant) and ever-so-slightly coterminous use of adjectives and verbs, as Grimgrin noted.
posted by jiawen at 12:11 PM on March 19, 2011

This is my favorite TV segment ever--why don't they make more??
posted by cmp4Meta at 12:33 PM on March 19, 2011

Oh god this is beyond brilliant.

Can we get the NY Times to totally report on this straight faced as a legit food show? You know they'd fall for it.
posted by The Whelk at 12:49 PM on March 19, 2011

...STARKLING WATER. It drinks BOTH WAYS.


Oh god this is amazing.
posted by The Whelk at 12:51 PM on March 19, 2011

cmp4Meta: Availability of the main actors and the fact that they'd done all they could with the concept probably. That or the directors general of the BBC are a specialized sort of vampire that feed off of the anguished longing for more of a brilliant series that had an impossibly short run.

Those are my two theories anyway.
posted by Grimgrin at 12:53 PM on March 19, 2011

it's not short. it's a perfectly formed Amuse-bouche.
posted by The Whelk at 12:55 PM on March 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

I love Posh Nosh but had sort of forgotten about it. I love the way Arabella Weir soldiers on despite Richard E. Grant's obvious thinly-veiled contempt for her. And her complete lack of ability to deal with what's really going on between Grant and Tennant.

Now I have to watch all of these again.
posted by OolooKitty at 1:26 PM on March 19, 2011

I've seen the future... and it's SAUCE!
posted by prefpara at 1:26 PM on March 19, 2011

Brando your butter,,,

That did it for me
posted by quarsan at 2:11 PM on March 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

OlooKitty: My favorite episode is the "Comfort Food" one, which suggests that Minty is not just aware of what's going on between Simon and his 'tennis coach' but encourages it to keep him occupied.
posted by Grimgrin at 2:33 PM on March 19, 2011

The connection between food and emotion and the human condition has never been so well illustrated. I think I am going to be sick. Into this 19th Century Chippendale Style Commode Table Recta, perfect for stress related voiding of the stomach!

No seriously, this made me feel ill. The tension and Minty Marchmont's eternally chipper attitude...it's dizzying...well done, BBC. Well. Done.
posted by Xoebe at 2:49 PM on March 19, 2011

My favorite episode is the "Comfort Food" one, which suggests that Minty is not just aware of what's going on between Simon and his 'tennis coach' but encourages it to keep him occupied.

Oh, I'm not sure I'd seen that one! I will have to go watch it now.
posted by OolooKitty at 2:57 PM on March 19, 2011

Minty Marchmont's eternally chipper attitude

Not quite eternally chipper. The scene where she tastes the paella "to check the seasoning", then tastes it again, then grimly starts eating it like it was her job: that was a potent little shot of misery right there.
posted by maudlin at 4:15 PM on March 19, 2011

Hah hah, Brando your butter. I missed that one :)
posted by puny human at 4:26 PM on March 19, 2011

I also love Grant's little winces of pain as Weir repeatedly mispronounces "paella".
posted by OolooKitty at 4:28 PM on March 19, 2011

that was a potent little shot of misery right there.

Oh god yes, like it's the only food she's had all week and we get like a full 40 seconds of her horrible chewing sounds.

The devil is in the details and the details are ...perfect.
posted by The Whelk at 4:35 PM on March 19, 2011

Thats that guy from Hudson Hawk!
posted by cubby at 5:24 PM on March 19, 2011

Oh god yes, like it's the only food she's had all week and we get like a full 40 seconds of her horrible chewing sounds.

That was a classic rake bit.
posted by empath at 5:26 PM on March 19, 2011

you know that bit, widely seen as the best joke they ever did, was created cause the episode ran short and , out of ideas, they went with "and he just gets hit a lot"?
posted by The Whelk at 5:30 PM on March 19, 2011

Okay, he may be doing it to lay on thick his snobby shtick, but any actor that can flawlessly enunciate late-Middle English deserves his own show on the BBC.
posted by clarknova at 6:23 PM on March 19, 2011

Were these ever released on DVD? .. I looked years ago now, but I think it was .. no, right?
posted by Mael Oui at 9:03 PM on March 19, 2011

This is my favorite TV segment ever--why don't they make more??

Why didn't John Cleese make more Fawlty Towers or Ricky Gervaise make more episodes of The Office?

Because they felt they'd mined the subject for what it was worth and it stopped being interesting to them? Because they didn't want to jump the shark?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:19 AM on March 20, 2011

People who stare at screens all day should be shot. But there are so many millions of them. There simply isn't time.

Racist.
posted by converge at 4:34 AM on March 20, 2011

I watched them all and, at one point, was literally weeping with laughter. Is it strange that I can't remember which point that was?
posted by nonspecialist at 6:09 AM on March 20, 2011

We channel-surfed through one episode on PBS several years back. We watch so many cooking shows that we blew right past it. “Waaait a second!” I actually exclaimed and zapped back. We lived for that show during the brief period it was shoved into the dead air between other shows. (I interrogated the PBS station to make absolutely dead sure I knew when every episode was coming up.)

It is indeed paralytically funny. Richard E. Grant deploys that same calibre of wit in his marvel(l)ous autobiography, With Nails, which will tell you so much about Hollywood and independent filmmaking you’ll be ready to shoot your own trailer for viral YouTube online Web release.

Spoiler: Richard E. Grant is actually from Swaziland.
posted by joeclark at 7:05 AM on March 20, 2011

I'm not sure how I lived without knowing how to embarrass mussels and savage tomatoes before this moment. Pure bliss.
posted by jokeefe at 1:42 PM on March 20, 2011

Anyone keep expecting the husband to suddenly regress (SYTL), and start demanding antifreeze?
posted by LD Feral at 6:02 AM on March 21, 2011