Extreme Pterodactyl! (It's about carrots.)

March 23, 2011 10:58 AM

How baby carrots got the Mad Men treatment to make them seem more like junk food.
posted by mudpuppie (92 comments total)

most baby carrots aren't even babies! gasp! they're good old regular carrots shaved down!
posted by anya32 at 11:01 AM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yes. That's in paragraph 3.
posted by mudpuppie at 11:05 AM on March 23, 2011 [13 favorites]

Baby carrots have over 20 times more Twitter followers than I do. How's that supposed to make me feel?
posted by Danf at 11:05 AM on March 23, 2011 [4 favorites]

The flavor of raw carrots makes me want to puke. Ditto for carrot juice. Cooked carrots are fine, though.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:05 AM on March 23, 2011 [3 favorites]

Crunchy?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:06 AM on March 23, 2011

Att: Seinfeld's wife. Call attorney.
posted by davebush at 11:08 AM on March 23, 2011

Follow our babycarrots spam on twitter and Facebook!
posted by benzenedream at 11:09 AM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

needs the gotterdammerung tag
posted by ennui.bz at 11:11 AM on March 23, 2011

You're gunna love our eggs!
posted by starman at 11:11 AM on March 23, 2011 [2 favorites]

My kids know they're not allowed to steal the baby carrots out of the fridge to snack on without permission, and that their parents can be driven to helpless paroxysms of frustration by the clever strategies they employ to steal the baby carrots and snack on them. Just drives us crazy, the way we can't seem to stop them from snacking on those baby carrots.
posted by rusty at 11:11 AM on March 23, 2011 [25 favorites]

Dude these baby carrots are totally radical!!!
posted by delmoi at 11:11 AM on March 23, 2011 [3 favorites]

Then a couple of years ago, after a decade of steady growth, Bolthouse's carrot sales went flat. Sales of baby carrots, the company's cash carrot, actually fell, sharply, and stayed down. Nobody knew why. This was a big problem.

If I may make a suggestion: in 2008, when Bolthouse had been trying to broaden its market share by providing beverages at Gay Pride events, someone noticed the company's mission statement on their website:

"The purpose of this company is to glorify God through our business transactions, our work, and our relationships. It is further our desire to bring honor and glory to the Name of Jesus Christ by following God's word in all our dealings with employees, suppliers, and customers. God's Work as contained in His Inspired Scriptures will be the final authority in all Corporate matters concerning direction, decisions, and disputes."

A couple of boycotts and numerous editorials later, the mission statement was let-us-say finessed to:

We are a market driven, fully integrated farming company. We are innovative in agricultural and packaging technology. Within the parameters of our Corporate Philosophy, our focus is to offer quality products at the lowest possible cost through a “state of the art” plant, quality raw material and the maintenance of trust and credibility with our customers, growers and employees.

Does that help with the mystery?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:13 AM on March 23, 2011 [31 favorites]

I like carrots but that Twitter account is forcing me to reconsider. I don't want to risk funding "Spring break 2011: show us your baby carrots. Woohoo!"
posted by theodolite at 11:13 AM on March 23, 2011

The background on the Twitter profile is weird, and very un-carrot like.

And if you have the chance to eat a really fresh carrot (as in just pulled from the ground, and still a bit dirty), no matter its appearance, do it. Unless you love carrots from grocery stores, and never have the option to get them fresh again. Because really, really fresh carrots are unlike store-bought stuff - they're juicier, more flavorful, and better in ways I cannot describe.

Or like current abuse of technological terms to advertise unrelated goods: fresh carrots are like carrots IN HD. Sorry. Dumb phrase.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:14 AM on March 23, 2011 [4 favorites]

Carrots (and also tomatoes) are a great example of a trend I find incomprehensible: the desire for uniform, platonically Ideal foodstuffs. In my experience, this type of product always tastes horrible compared to the scary mutant-looking horse carrots and heirloom tomatoes, which are virtually always delicious.
posted by mek at 11:16 AM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

I haven't read the article yet, but I assume this has something to do with giving a baby carrot a backwards ball cap, shades, and a skateboard.
posted by phunniemee at 11:17 AM on March 23, 2011 [12 favorites]

Has anyone gotten Bugs Bunny's opinion yet?
posted by jonmc at 11:18 AM on March 23, 2011

ever wondered what ya did wrong to get yourself sentenced to life on earth?
posted by kitchenrat at 11:18 AM on March 23, 2011 [5 favorites]

They should have hired Poochie as their mascot.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 11:18 AM on March 23, 2011 [7 favorites]

I won't eat them because they look like cat peeners...
posted by Confess, Fletch at 11:20 AM on March 23, 2011

And if you have the chance to eat a really fresh carrot (as in just pulled from the ground, and still a bit dirty), no matter its appearance, do it.

We grew a small vegetable garden last year, and while the carrots didn't grow super-well, they mostly grew, and they were, indeed, superlatively good. As were the tomatoes (at least the ones that didn't get all blossom-end-rotted).

As to the baby carrot marketing, I get it, but it makes me sad that people won't eat a damn carrot unless you put it in a kayak and push it out of a helicopter.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:22 AM on March 23, 2011 [5 favorites]

As a follow-up to the old mission statement:

"God's Work as contained in His Inspired Scriptures will be the final authority in all Corporate matters concerning direction, decisions, and disputes."

I assume that this means the dress code allows no employee to wear mixed fibers (Deuteronomy 22:11, Leviticus 19:19), and all must attach a blue fringe to the edges (Numbers 15:38) and I suppose hair nets are not required for people producing the juice, as they wear their hear short (1 Corinthians 11:14). Okay, then.

But you know, given the choice between "His Inspired Scriptures" and union/employer arbitration, I have to go with the union.

I also used to wonder if a single 250 ml serving of carrot juice really did contain 100% of my RDA for Vitamin A, but now that I know they are not bearing false witness, so we're good.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:25 AM on March 23, 2011 [3 favorites]

Sorry for the LOLCHRISTIANMISSIONSTATEMENT.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:26 AM on March 23, 2011

Ugh, I hate baby carrots. They taste like water and more often than not they start to go slimy around hour three away from the supermarket. How in the world could you peel off the yummy, protective skin, put it in a plastic bag for a week or longer, and still expect it to taste any good?
posted by arcticwoman at 11:29 AM on March 23, 2011 [5 favorites]

phunniemee: "I haven't read the article yet, but I assume this has something to do with giving a baby carrot a backwards ball cap, shades, and a skateboard"

And naming them Poochie.
posted by Splunge at 11:32 AM on March 23, 2011 [2 favorites]

Who gives a rat's ass about a corporate mission statement? In-N-Out burger puts a Bible quote on all of its cups. They still make a damn tasty burger, and treat their employees well. Bolthouse loves them their Jesus. Did the carrots taste good, or not? Did the employees bringing you the carrots get shat upon? Yes or no?

If you're not eating carrots because of this ... DUDE.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:33 AM on March 23, 2011 [11 favorites]

Threeway Handshake: "They should have hired Poochie as their mascot"

D'oh!
posted by Splunge at 11:33 AM on March 23, 2011

"and billboards suggested never fear carrots and beer."

This is my diet plan when I need to lose weight. For real.
posted by yeti at 11:34 AM on March 23, 2011

More on Crispin Porter & Bogusky:

Crispin's core philosophy demands total control over every nook and cranny of a brand's image. Crispin wrote and recorded the hold music for Burger King's corporate headquarters; designed the look of all the food packaging; and came up with the response BK counter-workers bark out when you order ("Nice order!"). They chose the uniforms for Mini Cooper's sales staff. When they started work for Haggar, a men's apparel company, they went so far as to consult on the clothing designs. ("Marketing is sometimes the fact that you have double-stitched pockets," says Hicks.) Increasingly—and this is the case with Haggar—Crispin even takes an ownership stake in the brands it partners with.

posted by Iridic at 11:36 AM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm thinking they need to rastafy them by about 10%.
posted by Aquaman at 11:36 AM on March 23, 2011 [4 favorites]

Here's the print version of the second link. It's on one page, and I think it bypasses that intro advertisement.
posted by tapesonthefloor at 11:37 AM on March 23, 2011

Iridic: that's kind of evil and clever. Are they a PE firm that does PR? Or a PR firm that does PE? It's kind of interesting to think of the value-add of a PE firm being marketing instead of management.
posted by leotrotsky at 11:41 AM on March 23, 2011

So me and my family, who has been munching on these yummy things for what seems like forever, have been, as always, ahead of the curve.
(now, cooked carrots are horrible and should be banned)
posted by Old'n'Busted at 11:42 AM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

If you're not eating carrots because of this ... DUDE.

I am eating the carrots, and indeed drinking the carrot juice. At some point they revised the nutitional information on the carrot juice so that the RDA of vitamin A in a single serving went from 100% to 370%. This would mean that drinking a liter in a day (which is three glasses) would net me about fifteen times my daily allotment of Vitamin A. I can see through walls now, buddy.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:45 AM on March 23, 2011

I was expecting they would be double-cooked, oven-baked, Panko encrusted, crispy, and salty -- and air brushed with butter essence.

Especially liked the bi-axially coated polypropylene, to give the packaging the familiar junk food crinkle.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:45 AM on March 23, 2011

Especially liked the bi-axially coated polypropylene

But how does the biaxiality dovetail with their mission statement?
posted by uncleozzy at 11:48 AM on March 23, 2011 [4 favorites]

If you're not eating carrots because of this ...

Well, they aren't the sole provider of carrots in the US, so they could probably be avoided if desired and one could still have tasty tasty carrots.
posted by hippybear at 11:49 AM on March 23, 2011

Let me spoil all the fun....to get the nutrients out of a carrot one has to cook it.

Just sayin'.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 11:50 AM on March 23, 2011

cite pls
posted by found missing at 11:53 AM on March 23, 2011

And unlike baby carrots, which dry out pretty quickly once a bag is opened, regular carrots keep a long time. So people were buying regular carrots and then not eating them, and not buying more until the carrots they had were finally gone or spoiled.

And this is bad how?
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:55 AM on March 23, 2011

Meanwhile, nearby, in a room that looks like a cross between a sterile lab and a cluttered kitchen, a white-coated staff has been experimenting with a future phase of the campaign: flavors.

EW.
posted by almostmanda at 11:55 AM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

the response BK counter-workers bark out when you order ("Nice order!")

Have I been eating at the wrong Burger Kings? Because I haven't been barked at lately.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 11:57 AM on March 23, 2011

I was so gung ho about pointing out to everyone who would listen that baby cut carrots were just big carrots milled down on a goddamn lathe that even the people who would listen started giving me the stink eye. That's why I feel like Kevin McCarthy, chasing down cars and beating on windows, yelling "you're next!" as often as I do.
posted by sonascope at 11:57 AM on March 23, 2011

Let me spoil all the fun....to get the nutrients out of a carrot one has to cook it.

If by "get out" you mean "remove," then, yes.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:58 AM on March 23, 2011 [2 favorites]

Like everyone else, I came in to say they should call the carrots Poochie. And also to remind everyone that the Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie episode of the Simpsons was #23 on the list of 25 Best Simpsons episodes.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:01 PM on March 23, 2011

During WWII the British had a surplus of carrots, a population on rations, and most importantly, RADAR that they didn't want the Nazis to realize existed. So they started a rumor that carrots improved night vision, even going so far as to feed loads of carrots to RAF pilots and post "Carrots Help You See In The Blackout" posters around London. While a severe vitamin A deficiency will damage your sight, a surplus actually does nothing at all, yet that myth is still with us today.

Hot models standing by machine guns aside: these people are amateurs.
posted by you're a kitty! at 12:02 PM on March 23, 2011 [10 favorites]

I've always been anti-baby carrot becuase I thought they were wasteful, but finding out that they actually prevent waste..... I still don't like them (because they dry out so fast and are more expensive (twice the cost of regular carrots.)
posted by vespabelle at 12:02 PM on March 23, 2011

According to wikipedia: "Only 3% of the β-carotene in raw carrots is released during digestion: this can be improved to 39% by pulping, cooking and adding cooking oil." (they cite this Nature paper).

That said, if the nutrition chart is to be believed, you'll still get more than enough vitamin A just from eating a few raw carrots.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:06 PM on March 23, 2011

And unlike baby carrots, which dry out pretty quickly once a bag is opened, regular carrots keep a long time. So people were buying regular carrots and then not eating them, and not buying more until the carrots they had were finally gone or spoiled.

And this is bad how?

The article makes the claim that people eat more baby carrots because it is easier (you don't have to wash and cut them), and that forced to buy regular carrots out of recession-based frugality, were just letting them sit around uneaten. So the net result was that instead of spending $X on baby carrots and eating them, they were spending less than $X buying less regular carrots and not eating them.
posted by burnmp3s at 12:06 PM on March 23, 2011

While a severe vitamin A deficiency will damage your sight, a surplus actually does nothing at all, yet that myth is still with us today.

In case it was not clear, my reference to seeing through walls due to a surfeit of Vitamin A was actually a jest.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:07 PM on March 23, 2011

And unlike baby carrots, which dry out pretty quickly once a bag is opened, regular carrots keep a long time. So people were buying regular carrots and then not eating them, and not buying more until the carrots they had were finally gone or spoiled.

And this is bad how?

Not sure if this is rhetorical, but bad because the carrot people were not making the sweet, sweet coin.
posted by ego at 12:08 PM on March 23, 2011

You take the rudimentary shape of a vegetable, and make it look like it comes with a soundtrack of "Tom Sawyer" by Rush.

As Charlie Sheen would say... Winning!
posted by Slap*Happy at 12:09 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

ricochet biscuit, don't worry, I got that - it's just my favorite carrot-related story, and I leapt at a carrot thread to tell it in :)
posted by you're a kitty! at 12:10 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't wash or cut my non-baby carrots. I just gob 'em.
posted by kenko at 12:14 PM on March 23, 2011

So the net result was that instead of spending $X on baby carrots and eating them, they were spending less than $X buying less regular carrots and not eating them.

Eh, I'll pretend to accept this as a good outcome then. I'd rather people eat their goddamn carrots already and we spend this guy's marketing budget on something else, but I guess I'll have to wait until after the revolution for this kind of thing.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:16 PM on March 23, 2011

From the article: Supermarkets expected carrots to be a particular size, shape, and color. Anything else had to be sold for juice or processing or animal feed, or just thrown away.

This shit is so, so stupid. Consumers can handle knobby, large, or small carrots, guys.
posted by kenko at 12:16 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

Here's the result of the desert commercial shoot briefly described in the 2nd article.

Interesting that the commmercial is brought to you by a "bunch of carrot farmers" rather than "one of two companies that control the US carrot market".
posted by Kabanos at 12:17 PM on March 23, 2011

Here's the result of the desert commercial shoot briefly described in the 2nd article.

Thank you for that. Didn't even think to look for it.

Also: My. God.

Extreme pterodactyl!!
posted by mudpuppie at 12:20 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

Kabanos: I'm sorry that I watched that.
posted by tippiedog at 12:21 PM on March 23, 2011 [2 favorites]

Consumers can handle knobby, large, or small carrots, guys.

The internet has taught me some consumers can handle them like you wouldn't believe.
posted by Dr Dracator at 12:24 PM on March 23, 2011 [13 favorites]

According to wikipedia: "Only 3% of the β-carotene in raw carrots is released during digestion: this can be improved to 39% by pulping, cooking and adding cooking oil." (they cite this Nature paper).

The complication is that, while such nutrients are indeed made more bioavailable by lightly cooking (i.e you can better digest the carrots and absorb their carroty goodness), those same nutrients are made less actually available (i.e. there are fewer nutrients in a cooked carrot than a raw one) by about the same amount. In the end, cooking really doesn't make any real difference.

Also, um, that cooking oil you're adding contains a lot of beta carotine itself. Just sayin'.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:40 PM on March 23, 2011

I love carrots, but hate baby carrots. Am I the only one who thinks they're slimy and wet and gross? Why can't we have dry baby carrots? Is it just the preservatives factor?
posted by kerning at 12:43 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

Take baby carrots out of the original packaging. Put them in a ziplock bag with a wet paper towel. No more dry carrots.
posted by Splunge at 12:44 PM on March 23, 2011

Speaking of Vitamin A, there is such a thing as getting too much of it. My husband was on "pumpkin seed extract" that someone had recommended for his digestive issues; then he started to get miserable hives and itching. Several doctor visits later and doses of steroids and misery, he figured out the damn things had overdosed him. One month of not taking them, the hives were gone for good.
posted by emjaybee at 12:44 PM on March 23, 2011

those same nutrients are made less actually available (i.e. there are fewer nutrients in a cooked carrot than a raw one)

Some vitamins are actually lost through cooking, but not all of them.
posted by delmoi at 12:44 PM on March 23, 2011

Speaking of Vitamin A, there is such a thing as getting too much of it. My husband was on "pumpkin seed extract" that someone had recommended for his digestive issues; then he started to get miserable hives and itching. Several doctor visits later and doses of steroids and misery, he figured out the damn things had overdosed him. One month of not taking them, the hives were gone for good.

A's one of those vitamins that's fat-soluble, like E. Don't take too much of them. My pharmaceutical science parents could tell you more, but I can only point to Wikipedia.
posted by ego at 12:49 PM on March 23, 2011

Bolthouse's traditional packaging worked only for the produce aisle and the kitchen fridge, and it asked more of people. "You know, unzip the 2-pound bag of baby carrots ..." Reese says, in a weary voice. "Grab a few baby carrots ... rezip it ..." We might remember this as an unfortunate cultural milestone, the moment when eating baby carrots became too much work

Kudos to Douglas McGray, the author of this article; this made me chuckle.
posted by Greg Nog at 1:07 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

While a severe vitamin A deficiency will damage your sight, a surplus actually does nothing at all, yet that myth is still with us today.

A surplus of any fat-soluble vitamin is a bad idea. This is one of the big reasons nobody should ever take Airborne (designed by a schoolteacher! Because that's who you want developing drugs for you).
posted by Thoughtcrime at 1:21 PM on March 23, 2011

MetaFilter: Yes. That's in paragraph 3.
posted by dhartung at 1:24 PM on March 23, 2011 [2 favorites]

This was worth reading if only to discover that "Rabbit Balls" was a thing that actually existed at one point.
posted by LMGM at 1:56 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is a lot like watching MC Hammer try to reinvent himself to stay relevant.
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:02 PM on March 23, 2011

By November, sales in Bolthouse's test markets were up 10% to 12% over the year before, compared to minimal improvement or slight decline in a control group.

When did advertisers discover control groups? So they finally want to know which half of their money their wasting.
posted by euphorb at 2:23 PM on March 23, 2011

babycarrot blue?
posted by superquail at 2:32 PM on March 23, 2011

Then a couple of years ago, after a decade of steady growth, Bolthouse's carrot sales went flat. Sales of baby carrots, the company's cash carrot, actually fell, sharply, and stayed down. Nobody knew why. This was a big problem.

If I may make a suggestion: in 2008, when Bolthouse had been trying to broaden its market share by providing beverages at Gay Pride events, someone noticed the company's mission statement on their website...
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:13 AM on March 23

While that's one possible theory and probably a good one that explains at least part of the issue, here's mine:

The first time I ever heard of Bolthouse Farm was when the company hit the news. It seems that some of its carrot juice was linked to botulism poisoning. This was in 2006. Now I think (and I admit I could be wrong here) that there have been other health scares since then that involve the same company.

I know that it's probably irrational, but as a consumer, I don't have any faith in this company and I don't buy its products. So far that hasn't been a hardship as there are still alternatives out there. Besides I don't buy pre-washed "baby" carrots at all, just as I don't buy pre-mixed salad greens or pre-cut apple slices.
posted by sardonyx at 2:35 PM on March 23, 2011

This was worth reading if only to discover that "Rabbit Balls" was a thing that actually existed at one point.

I'm willing to bet that they still exist in about half the rabbit population.
posted by hippybear at 2:38 PM on March 23, 2011

These folks need to grow the hell out of (and sell the hell out of) the white and purple cultivars that will be !!AWEXOME!! colors without artificial coloring. Nature's done the work for 'em.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:09 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

That article was really just sad. On top of the fact that we have a perfectly good vegetable that needs to be processed before people find it "convenient" and packaging that costs "25% more" (is that in terms of carbon production per unit manufactured?) is the disheartening implication that people have been so brainwashed by the junk food industry that now we can't even recognize food that doesn't fit in their paradigm. The author even points out the more depressing aspects, before swinging back into his booster voice.

The irony is just dripping off this situation. A former junk food pusher turns to a hot-shit marketing company (which Fast Company has a major boner for, btw) to try to increase the hundreds of millions of dollars in profits their vegetable oligopoly enjoys and they tell him to couch it in the trappings of the obesity epidemic he helped create, complete with pseudo-self-mocking "extreme" commercial.
posted by HE Amb. T. S. L. DuVal at 3:40 PM on March 23, 2011

Yes, thanks Mr. Moofoo, for pointing out that last scary and insidious bit about coloring/flavoring the carrots.

"Now that we've monocropped all of our fields with the highest yielding varietal and packaged them in ready-made litter so they look more like junk food, how can we get rid of that damn orange color and carrot flavor?"

"Crispin Porter and Bogusky is on the case, sir!"

P.S. here's the link I meant to share as proof of Fast Company's infatuation with CP+B
posted by HE Amb. T. S. L. DuVal at 3:47 PM on March 23, 2011

Did anyone else imagine carrots dressed in snappy sixties attire and smoking like chimneys when they first saw this post?
posted by charmcityblues at 4:26 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

> Did anyone else imagine carrots dressed in snappy sixties attire and smoking like chimneys when they first saw this post?

me! also, drinking.
posted by morganw at 4:45 PM on March 23, 2011

me also drinking! cheers!
posted by hippybear at 4:53 PM on March 23, 2011 [2 favorites]

I don't eat any fruits or vegetables except potato chips and what's on a burger. Never got the taste for them.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:30 PM on March 23, 2011

I tend to avoid these business mag articles, which are fascinating, terrifying and depressing in equal measure. For better or worse, this is one of the fundamental way that money is made and our economy grows. I just hate the implication that by eating a carrot in one form or another I'm necessarily buying into (or rejecting) some zeitgeist.

I like my carrots cooked in a nice beef stew.
posted by stargell at 6:34 PM on March 23, 2011

Everything you do buys into some zeitgeist. Embrace it!
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:40 PM on March 23, 2011 [1 favorite]

My father is an M.D. and an ex-Adventist, so he knows someone who went on such a healthy vegetable diet kick that this guy actually turned orange. As the link and Google shows, this condition is more often seen in babies and small children, probably because they're smaller.
posted by bad grammar at 6:49 PM on March 23, 2011

If you don't think you like cooked carrots, make some Moroccan carrot salad. Here's one recipe, I use the one from Paula Wolfert's Moroccan cookbook, which I think is quite similar but I don't have it handy... delicious.
posted by Ella Fynoe at 6:50 PM on March 23, 2011

DUDE THESE CARROTS ARE EXPLODING IN MY MOUTH.

WITH FLAVOR.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 8:43 PM on March 23, 2011

I just hope that we don't have more Grapple-like produce atrocities in the works.
posted by monkeys with typewriters at 9:06 PM on March 23, 2011 [3 favorites]

Here in Australia we started getting pre-mixed salad leaves in the supermarket in little plastic bags a few years ago, and there might be baby carrots in there too (I don't usually buy produce there, but we do have frozen baby carrots) but I am pretty sure we don't have pre-cut apple slices.
The mind boggles.
I saw the bit on Jon Stewart the other day about individually wrapped bananas and at first didn't get the joke, I thought it was a gag product.
posted by bystander at 3:22 AM on March 24, 2011

Here's a relavent The Onion clip.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:54 AM on March 24, 2011

I believe they were called bunny balls, not rabbit balls.

Also, I am mad at The Simpsons because this was the original Poochie. So much better than that dog on a skateboard.
posted by IndigoRain at 2:39 PM on March 24, 2011

stargell: ... these business mag articles, which are fascinating, terrifying and depressing in equal measure ...

You just perfectly described me feelings for Fast Company, which is somewhere slightly north of Wired on my shudderometer.
posted by lodurr at 2:56 PM on March 24, 2011