Burgers. Juicy, Juicy Burgers.

March 27, 2011 9:14 PM

Linda's dad is not an adventurous eater. Linda's dad likes hamburgers. All-American juicy hamburgers. Linda doesn't want to cook the same thing for her dad every night. So, Linda decides to introduce her dad to new foods through inventing a NEW hamburger recipe for every country in the world. 192 United Nations recognized countries. Using ingredients inspired by the cuisine of each country but relatively available in most U.S. grocery stores. Enter...the hearty Australian. The piquant Azerbaijan. The sweet and spicy Afghanistan. Each recipe invented for and tested out on Linda's dad.

It's geography. It's comfort food. She seems to be through the A's, is embarking on the B's, and has promised that there are some even more adventurous veggie options ahead.

Personally, I would be happy to stop with Afghanistan and take a bath in her Sweet and Spicy Ketchup (no tomatoes!) for days and days and days...

posted by jeanmari (153 comments total)

Beetroot does not belong on burgers, and piling up a thin patty with a bunch of unnecessary toppings does not make up for a thick, medium-rare patty.

That said, this blog has already convinced me to give the Australian burger another chance. Maybe.
Has she covered haloumi or bleu cheese burgers yet?

there was a documentary where somebody traveled America tasting different kinds of burgers. can't remember hte name htough.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:19 PM on March 27, 2011

Any hamburger worth eating MUST have pineapple and beetroot, as well as a fried egg. It ain't an Aussie burger unless you get to lick the juices combined with runny egg yolk as it drips down between your thumbs and forefingers. If it doesn't leak pineapple juice and horrifically-staining purple beetroot juice, it's just a common old meat pattie in a bun.

Lovecraft, come to Mudgee. I'll personally buy you the best goddamned Aussie burger you have ever tasted in your life.

I'll just go and cry in the corner now. Damned gluten-intolerance!

Nice post, jeanmari. Thanks.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 9:27 PM on March 27, 2011 [6 favorites]

Is this the documentary ? Hamburger America.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:28 PM on March 27, 2011

What kind of Aussie burger doesn't have tinned pineapple? WRONG WRONG WRONG.
posted by Wantok at 9:28 PM on March 27, 2011

The blog, as far as I can tell, is missing the most important part: how well was the burger received by her father?
posted by sbutler at 9:31 PM on March 27, 2011 [12 favorites]

Wait what? Australians actually eat burgers with beets on them? Beets tasted like dirt, you stop ruining burgers and we won't start eating marmite or whatever it is you eat and add HFCS and and/or make an extreme versions that is full of habanero.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:31 PM on March 27, 2011 [7 favorites]

I think it's literally impossible/illegal to get a medium rare or rare burger, even in the 'authentic' burger places like Moo or Burger Fuel. They all taste just a bit off.

Ad hominem, that's probably it
and ANYTHING would improve vegemite

meat pies are good though

looking forward to reading the other entries. the burger is endlessly adaptable. there's a place next to the Sandringham in Sydney that does all these strange burgers and they taste pretty good. place i used to go to in Massachusetts did ostrich burgers, which were utterly delicious.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:35 PM on March 27, 2011

I don't know about the pancetta. Bacon definitely.

And pineapple? Maybe in Queensland.
posted by the noob at 9:37 PM on March 27, 2011

sbutler: you don't think that there's actually a father, do you? It's a 'look at this f*cking book deal' type blog. The dad is just an amusing back story.
posted by leotrotsky at 9:40 PM on March 27, 2011 [10 favorites]

@leotrotsky: awww. I'll admit, my Internet BS Detector isn't as finely tuned as other people's.
posted by sbutler at 9:43 PM on March 27, 2011

Actually, I was cooked the amazing Afghan burger by friends tonight who know this woman. They told me about the blog. There is a dad. He asked her to cook him more hamburgers for his recent birthday. A plain hamburger, no cheese, just salt and pepper. Which is fine because MORE AFGHAN BURGER FOR ME. MWAHAHAHAHAH!
posted by jeanmari at 9:43 PM on March 27, 2011 [4 favorites]

I was horrified by the idea of burgers with beets on them...until I actually tried it.
It's really quite good.
posted by nightchrome at 9:44 PM on March 27, 2011

I've eaten 5 guys for the past 3 days. Bacon,cheese, lettuce,pickles, raw onion, mayo,ketchup. Before that I was rocking a patty melt, with American cheese, ham and grilled onion on toasted rye for a while. Maybe I'll branch out and give some of these a shot. No beets though.
posted by Ad hominem at 9:46 PM on March 27, 2011

After having moved to New Zealand, we had a burger somewhere off Waikanai, and were shocked to find beetroot in it. A few years later, and a good burger has to have beetroot in it :)
posted by lundman at 9:47 PM on March 27, 2011

I agree, beetroot is a must for the Australian. If you add pineapple it becomes a regional variation known as 'The Queenslander'.
posted by robotot at 9:49 PM on March 27, 2011

I've had mayo on burgers. that tastes good
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:49 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

To hell with the pineapple, but I'd like to see her tackle a 'roo burger.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 9:50 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is the greatest post MetaFilter has ever seen.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:51 PM on March 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Fantastic idea. Now we need an Americanized version of Pho...
posted by littlemanclan at 9:54 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Beetroot is delicious.
posted by brennen at 9:54 PM on March 27, 2011

I'm from New Zealand and I agree about beetroot on burgers. Yuck.

Pineapple and egg is a must though.

Also the blog is great.
posted by gaspode at 9:55 PM on March 27, 2011

I've had mayo on burgers. that tastes good

I actually insist on mayo when eating burgers at relatives/friends. They think I'm crazy, but oblige my "strange" tastes.
posted by sbutler at 9:56 PM on March 27, 2011

In old Columbus town, down in the German Village there is a little hole in the wall of a small strip of buildings called the Thurman Cafe. Unfortunately for anyone who knew it 5-10 years ago, it's one of those restaurants on the ever growing list where it's been featured on too many TV shows about the best places/food/"Diners, Drive-ins and Dives" Fuck you Guy Fieri, get a haircut in the country/world. But the secret is simple: go after the busy hours when the regulars pop out of the woodwork.

Order a Leinenkugel's (the best beer they happen to have) and get a Bleu Cheese and Bacon Burger. After hours, the 3/4 pound burger grows to over 1 pound. All of the proper ingredients: huge patty, huge bun, mayo, mozzarella, bleu, bacon, lettuce, tomato, onion and pickle. Because it requires two hands, the drippings from the cheese and burger and bacon grease drip all over the potato chips, creating ambrosia. You will find yourself in heaven, unless your vegetarian, in which case you will find yourself in the best and worst of hells. The flavors will tapdance on your tongue, obliterating the thoughts you had mere hours ago about the college up the road. The disappointment your parents have in you become a distant memory. Coming up with $6000 when you are a poor college student to keep going to school when you know you are really going to just drop out and move 2000 miles away no longer matters, because fuck everything, I have a Thurman's burger. If you died post-Thurman, you would accept your fate. You'd write off any missed experiences as overrated and float through the pearly gates.

I have since moved away from Columbus, but if there's one memory I have that pops into my mind most often it's Thurman's. It pops in ahead of old friends, because that burger was my friend. When I talk to friends who are still there, they remind me that Thurman's is there and that we will get a burger when I go back (I hardly go back, because spleh, Ohio.) This episode of How I Met Your Mother was interrupted by the image and taste of Thurman's invading my mind. I know what Marshal meant about that burger. I've woken up no less than three times dreaming about getting a burger at Thurman's. If I wound up on death row, and had an option for a last meal: Thurman.

I'm going to cry now.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 9:57 PM on March 27, 2011 [5 favorites]

Beetroot does not belong on burgers

*calls terrorist hotline*
posted by obiwanwasabi at 9:59 PM on March 27, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'm waiting for the Aloo Tikki burger.
posted by vidur at 9:59 PM on March 27, 2011

Cool Papa Bell, I agree it is the best post on Metafilter since someone linked this.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 10:00 PM on March 27, 2011 [4 favorites]

The Cobb salad burger: Bacon, avocado, and Roquefort. Yeah you know who your daddy is now don't you.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 10:00 PM on March 27, 2011 [13 favorites]

The first time I ordered a hamburger in Australia, I too thought the beet was the true outrage. Imagine my surprise a few days later when we saw that the guy who sold us the burgers had been arrested for using kangaroo instead of hamburger!

I never ordered another burger in the entire time I lived in Australia. Of course, I was 12 ... but my dislike of beets lingers on to this day.
posted by julen at 10:01 PM on March 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

The Albanian (minus the onions) and Armenian burgers sound delicious!
posted by SisterHavana at 10:01 PM on March 27, 2011

The first time I ordered a hamburger in Australia, I too thought the beet was the true outrage. Imagine my surprise a few days later when we saw that the guy who sold us the burgers had been arrested for using kangaroo instead of hamburger!

roo is good though!
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:03 PM on March 27, 2011

Soon to be a major motion picture, starring Amy Adams and Sam Elliot ("BEEF, it's what's for dinner") as her father. Zach Braff plays the young cardiologist who falls for Amy's character while treating Sam's character for the massive heart attack he suffered before he even got to the Fiji burger.
posted by spock at 10:11 PM on March 27, 2011 [7 favorites]

What is the deal with the people telling us they enjoy mayo on their burgers as if that is something weird? Mayo? On a burger? No way! Get outta town!

Get this. I sometimes put -- you're not going to believe it -- sometimes I put this stuff called "ketchup" (some people call it "catsup") on my burger. How strange is that?
posted by smcameron at 10:13 PM on March 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Ad hominem: “I've eaten 5 guys for the past 3 days.”

Keep trying to come up with a witty rejoinder to this, but none of them are good enough. Maybe somebody else can.

I mostly came in here to point out to you all that a burger isn't actually a burger unless it has a New Mexico green chili on it.
posted by koeselitz at 10:22 PM on March 27, 2011 [6 favorites]

I agree with an Australian burger requiring beetroot (plus fried onions, lettuce, and tomato and cheese slices), but the fried egg is very much a personal decision, and countless burgers have been pounded into soggy ruination by pineapple slices. The pineapple ought to be fritterized and served as a side garnish. Though, honestly, pineapple fritters are all kinds of grim, and really it should be a banana fritter.

However one ought to add thin-sliced potato chips, or "crisps", to one's Australian burger. And if the assembled product doesn't need a wooden skewer through it to keep it together, you've done it wrong and have no business near a hot plate. Here we call them "kimbybucks".
posted by tumid dahlia at 10:22 PM on March 27, 2011

Oh, you're kidding me. You can't handle beetroot and pineapple on a burger, but you cheerfully add mayonnaise?!?

(Insert that scene from Pulp Fiction about putting mayonnaise on chips, sorry, fries here.)
posted by malibustacey9999 at 10:25 PM on March 27, 2011

The foodie in me just peed a little in excitement.
posted by chemoboy at 10:26 PM on March 27, 2011

> sbutler: you don't think that there's actually a father, do you? It's a 'look at this f*cking book deal' type blog. The dad is just an amusing back story.

She has a linkedin profile:

"Marketing Director at Hasbro"
"Writer, CEO and Head Chef at BurgersHereAndThere.com"
"I've started the process of writing a cookbook and have a blog that will follow my progress."
posted by vidur at 10:27 PM on March 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Yeah, mayo, you can sorta take it or leave it, it really depends on your mood. Works on salad-y burgers but not burger-y burgers.
posted by tumid dahlia at 10:28 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeah mayo doesn't taste like dirt. I use mayo and ketchup in equal parts, have since I was a kid, it's pretty much Russian dressing. I wouldn't lose my shit if there was no mayo around, but it is nice to have.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:32 PM on March 27, 2011

Mayo's basically just throat-lube for people who are too lazy to manufacture sufficient saliva.
posted by tumid dahlia at 10:34 PM on March 27, 2011 [10 favorites]

Oh, you're kidding me. You can't handle beetroot and pineapple on a burger, but you cheerfully add mayonnaise?!?

it's not just the beetroot and pineapple. it's that all the toppings are usually there to dress up patty that, by either law or custom, is thin and overcooked
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:37 PM on March 27, 2011

Since when has mayo been weird on a burger? It's a standard on any back yard grilled burger I've ever seen, and when you mix it with ketchup and pickle relish it's basically the same "secret sauce" McDonald's has been using for decades. Same goes with In-n-Out.

Alton Brown even uses it on his burger episode. It's the emulsion/fat layer on the bun that keeps the toasted bun from immediately going soggy.

I think most of the burger places I've ever been to use mayo or some variant of mayo.

What's more weird to me is mustard on a burger. Mustard is for hot dogs or sausages. (Though I eat it on burgers, too, 'cause I just like mustard.)
posted by loquacious at 10:37 PM on March 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

your favorite burger sucks, amirite
posted by crapmatic at 10:38 PM on March 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

I don't think her dad is going to get past Cardiacarrestistan.
posted by LarryC at 10:38 PM on March 27, 2011 [10 favorites]

She got the Aussie (never ozzie) burger pretty much spot on. Pineapple is a regional variation, a quincelander thing. Fried egg would be found on any burger with the lot.

And beetroot is fine.
posted by wilful at 10:38 PM on March 27, 2011

Lovecraft you're going to all the wrong places if you're getting crappy thin patties. Try some different fish & chipperies. In my previous experience more often than not you're getting way too much patty.
posted by tumid dahlia at 10:38 PM on March 27, 2011

Mayo's basically just throat-lube for people who are too lazy to manufacture sufficient saliva.

Come closer. Closer. A little closer.

/me pounces and pins tumid dahila down, dangling spit-cicles over his face.
posted by loquacious at 10:39 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

See also this awesome site on burgers.
posted by symbioid at 10:39 PM on March 27, 2011 [6 favorites]

Mustard is for hot dogs or sausages

Agree, mayo is standard. Now the real debate is yellow mustard vs brown mustard. I won't eat a hot dog with french's if you paid me.
posted by Ad hominem at 10:40 PM on March 27, 2011

Mayo + burger drippings = best sauce on earth
posted by Mister Fabulous at 10:40 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I wouldn't eat a hot dog with a Frenchman if you paid me.

Jeez man.
posted by tumid dahlia at 10:41 PM on March 27, 2011

/me pounces and pins tumid dahila down, dangling spit-cicles over his face.

No no, hold the mayo, HOLD, not hork!
posted by tumid dahlia at 10:42 PM on March 27, 2011

I also came here to complain about the lack of pineapple on the Aussie burger. I'm relieved to see I'm not the first. Also, in the absence of tinned beetroot, baked fresh beetroot works well too.
posted by damonism at 10:44 PM on March 27, 2011

?como se dice "mad cow disease" en espanol?
posted by bottlebrushtree at 10:48 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Lovecraft you're going to all the wrong places if you're getting crappy thin patties. Try some different fish & chipperies. In my previous experience more often than not you're getting way too much patty.

Fish and chipperies? I've tried the dedicated burger places but being told they couldn't cook it medium rare was just annoying.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:49 PM on March 27, 2011

I think I'm gonna hold out til she gets to the 'T's. I want a Thai burger.
posted by SLC Mom at 10:50 PM on March 27, 2011

Oh, the Aussie burger has fried onions on it too.
posted by wilful at 10:50 PM on March 27, 2011

Fish and chipperies?

Yeah, fish and chip shops. Any fish and chip shop worth its chicken salt will do a decent burger, and then you just gotta keep trying until you find a place that does one that works for you. By default they ought to make them medium rare at such an establishment. Didn't know we had any special dedicated burger places.
posted by tumid dahlia at 10:54 PM on March 27, 2011

tumid dahlia, the special dedicated places are the new yuppie burger shops, that wouldn't know a tradition if it smacked 'em in the chops.
posted by wilful at 10:55 PM on March 27, 2011

Mayo's basically just throat-lube for people who are too lazy to manufacture sufficient saliva.

That's really the grossest thing I've heard in a while.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:57 PM on March 27, 2011 [8 favorites]

Fantastic idea. Now we need an Americanized version of Pho...

We have that! We call it "Pho".

(What we NEED is someone in my area that DELIVERS pho & banh mi. Because that would be heavenly.)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:57 PM on March 27, 2011 [7 favorites]

what about pubs?
the best burger ever is the one from the diner near my house growing up, and no amount of convincing will tell me otherwise
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:59 PM on March 27, 2011

The ultimate Australian burger is actually the Bogan Burger. No idea if they still sell them, but it's everything good about Australian pub food in the one burger. (And yes, I have eaten one, and I lived to tell the tale.)
posted by damonism at 11:06 PM on March 27, 2011

I just had a Bio Fuel from Burger Fuel: 1/3lb beef patty, relish, mayo, lettuce, tomato, red onion, beetroot, and a fried egg. Glad some chain making a national burger now that McDonalds no longer makes the Kiwi Burger (which is made from beef, not Kiwi's, BTW).

Not sure why you'd want a hamburger that's anything other than well done, unless they made the mince for the patty themselves and did it properly and within the proper time-frame. A medium-rare steak burger on the other hand...
posted by Soupisgoodfood at 11:07 PM on March 27, 2011

which is made from beef, not Kiwi's, BTW

Never had the opportunity/poor fortune to eat a McDonald's Kiwi burger, yet I find that disappointing.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 11:09 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Then you won't want to see this.
posted by Soupisgoodfood at 11:12 PM on March 27, 2011

Wait, I thought that said "disturbing". Oh well.

It really was one of the better burgers they made. My mum, who usually hates McDonalds, actually liked it. It was similar to the Bio Fuel but with the addition of cheese-like-substance*.

*may have been real cheddar.
posted by Soupisgoodfood at 11:17 PM on March 27, 2011

Not sure why you'd want a hamburger that's anything other than well done, unless they made the mince for the patty themselves and did it properly and within the proper time-frame. A medium-rare steak burger on the other hand...

it just tastes better
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 11:25 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

One burger for every country. Is this an original idea? It sounds like a cookbook, TV show or restaurant chain.
posted by stbalbach at 11:33 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

What koeselitz said. Owl cafe San Antonio New Mexico.
posted by filchyboy at 11:35 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

it just tastes better

I know what you mean. Sometimes when I'm really craving a good burger I bike out to farm country with a loaf of bread, a hunk of cheese and some whole sweet onions and find a nice , fat cow.

Then I throw the bread, cheese and onions at the cow, chase it down and devour most of the cow while it's still on the hoof.
posted by loquacious at 11:43 PM on March 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Here's the thing about mixing fruit (pineapple) and meat. Fruit is mostly a simple carbohydrate (ie. sugar). Meat is a protein. The gut produces different enzymes to break these down. As it turns out, one gets priority over the other, so when both are present in large quantities, the sugar gets digested while the meat.. putrefies. This causes a disturbance: cramps, bloating and gas. Some people handle it better than others, but pineapple on a burger doesn't sound like comfort food.
posted by stbalbach at 11:46 PM on March 27, 2011

Gee, thanks. Now I'm hungry, I miss New Mexico, and I miss my grandmother's pickled beets.
posted by zengargoyle at 11:46 PM on March 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Burgers may:

- contain beetroot; or
- contain a fried egg; or
- contain pineapple; or
- contain all of the above.

Burgers must:

- be of sufficient structure and stability to survive the insertion of thick cut fries without excess mess.

---

In New Zealand, Burger Fuel does good burgers, Murder Burger does great burgers, and Burger Wisconsin does amazing burgers. The KC Burger at KC Cafe in Wellington looks terrible, but is actually great. The best burger I have ever had was at a farmer's market thing in San Luis Obispo. The guy said it contained rabbit but I have my doubts. It also had some sort of insanely good barbecue sauce, carrot, and potato hash.
posted by doublehappy at 11:49 PM on March 27, 2011

As a child living in Japan, I was once invited to dinner with some Japanese friends of the family. They had a daughter in my age range, and knowing that kids can be finicky they tried to make us comfortable by preparing some familiar American food: a plate of hamburgers, sans buns.

Except they put eel in it, and broiled it to the consistency of a hockey puck.

Did you know eel is considered an aphrodisiac in Japan, particularly for men? My father made the necessary excuses for us on that basis.
posted by Soliloquy at 11:49 PM on March 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Haven't heard of Murder Burger before. Are they in Wellington?
posted by Soupisgoodfood at 11:59 PM on March 27, 2011

Except they put eel in it, and broiled it to the consistency of a hockey puck.

I like eel. I like burgers. And yet I am not appitized
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 12:00 AM on March 28, 2011

the sugar gets digested while the meat.. putrefies

This sounds like unsubstantiated woo. Sugar doesn't need to be digested at all. And if carbs + meat was actually a problem, it would cause issues with all hamburgers, because of the bun.
posted by ryanrs at 12:09 AM on March 28, 2011 [8 favorites]

Haven't heard of Murder Burger before. Are they in Wellington?

Ponsonby Road in Auckland. I have only tried it once but it made me seriously question my Burger Fuel purchasing habits (3-5 times a week).
posted by doublehappy at 12:12 AM on March 28, 2011

In New Zealand, Burger Fuel does good burgers, Murder Burger does great burgers, and Burger Wisconsin does amazing burgers. The KC Burger at KC Cafe in Wellington looks terrible, but is actually great.

Burger Wisconsin for the absolute win. Also never heard of Murder Burger. If you were eating at KC, you were drunk, so your opinion may be affected by that (it is great though).

I wonder if she left the pineapple off the Aussie burger so she can include it on the Kiwi one, seeing as our national variant is basically the same as the Aussie one?* (Though that indicates a quite scary degree of planning ahead).

*Like the pavlova, the flat white and Russell Crowe, they stole it from us.
posted by Infinite Jest at 12:14 AM on March 28, 2011

> This sounds like unsubstantiated woo. Sugar doesn't need to be digested at all.

Yeah, I'm not buying it either. If anything - if I recall correctly - pineapple has natural enzymes that help break down meat, which is why some people get a raw/sore mouth after eating too much pineapple.

Also, sweet and sour chicken/pork? Same difference. I've never had any problems with something like that, but I should also acknowledge I'm probably capable of digesting a railroad track.
posted by loquacious at 12:16 AM on March 28, 2011

Not sure why you'd want a hamburger that's anything other than well done

This reminds me of the rare vs. med rare vs. well done steak. I'll leave it at this: earlier today when cooking dinner with ground beef, fresh from my local butcher, I ate the ground beef raw. Every time I do that I think to myself "Food poisoning, delicious food poisoning."
posted by Mister Fabulous at 12:16 AM on March 28, 2011 [6 favorites]

You know what's disgusting though? Satay Burger.
posted by doublehappy at 12:18 AM on March 28, 2011

obviously i only eat food rare when it's by somebody i trust but anything more done than medium rare is an insult to the beef
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 12:18 AM on March 28, 2011

I really don't understand that. I'm fucking eating the thing and I'm supposed to worry about its feelings?
posted by doublehappy at 12:40 AM on March 28, 2011

...the special dedicated places are the new yuppie burger shops...

Oh like Grill'd? Yeah, that place is a terrible stain on the face of food retailing in this country.

However - Lord of the Fries, which I experienced in Melbourne, makes insanely good vegetarian burgers that, quite honestly, I preferred to real-meat burgers even before I was veggie. They are amazingly delicious, and the different varieties of fries you can get are rather delightful also. If I had $300K sitting on the coffee table, blocking the TV, I would franchise that bitch up here in Brisbane in a heartbeat.
posted by tumid dahlia at 12:43 AM on March 28, 2011

Gah, I hated being out of the house for a few hours while I knew this thread was being chewed on. I had no idea I felt so strongly about burgers until it came up. Last time there was a burger post it sent me on a moaning gastrofap bender, and I ended up mincing a heap of beef myself and making several kinds of cheeseburgers at home to enjoy with other openminded adults. One of the regional variations was a Chinese burger, it had szechuan pepper in the beef (works well). God knows what I'll need to do to satiate my burger boner now.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 12:44 AM on March 28, 2011 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: moaning gastrofap bender
posted by tumid dahlia at 12:44 AM on March 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

I have to admit that I used to go to KFC. The burger with an Original fillet, pineapple, and bacon was great.
posted by Soupisgoodfood at 12:50 AM on March 28, 2011

Murder Burger does great burgers

But their ads are to die for.

Holy hell these are cracking me up. I'm glad this business really exists. I really need to go to bed.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 12:52 AM on March 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm pretty sure Murder Burger's Staff Wanted ad a couple years back explicitly excluded Political Science majors from applying.
posted by doublehappy at 12:55 AM on March 28, 2011

I'm feeling a bit sad that, having 'done' the Aussie burger, there isn't anything more to say about the Kiwi burger.

Doublehappy, if you drink in the other direction, you end up at Welcome Takeaways for the Best (Most?) Drunk Burger ever - an oddly large, flattened, battered(?), chicken(?) breast(?) with tinned pineapple and shredded iceberg lettuce floating in lashings of mayonnaise.

To be eaten on the front steps of Logan Brown.

Aaah, nostalgie de la burger.
posted by Catch at 1:13 AM on March 28, 2011

Just got an apartment about 100m from Welcome Takeaways. Shit is about to get real.

But Welcome's got nothing on Rice Bowl Burger Bar on Riddiford Street. It's open 5 'til 5. That's 5pm 'til 5am. The burgers are greasy and mostly (probably) meat and you'll die of a heart attack shortly after but that's fine because the hospital is 100m down the road.
posted by doublehappy at 1:24 AM on March 28, 2011

*Weeping homesick tears*
posted by Catch at 1:31 AM on March 28, 2011

*Like the pavlova, the flat white and Russell Crowe, they stole it from us." posted by Infinite Jest

You can keep the pav and Crowe (please, keep Crowe or rather, take him back) but us non-posh Aussies who don't get off on coffee froth designs really like our flat whites.

Living in Mudgee - which fancies itself as a foodie/locavore haven (which it isn't) - my kids had a wagu burger for lunch on Saturday at a locavore festival.

I couldn't eat the bun but the kid who couldn't finish the burger offered me the meat. It was goddamned divine. As I ate each bite, I fantasised about it on a really nice bread roll, perhaps sourdough, with pineapple and beetroot and decent lettuce and homegrown tomato slices and caramelised onions. Even nicer than veal (aka baby cow which makes my 12 year old daughter retch because 'it's a BABY COW, MUM!').

I like eating animals. Especially baby animals. I miss eating gluten-y badness. I have never wanted a Mudgee Charcoal Chicken hamburger more in my life.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 1:38 AM on March 28, 2011

The Western USofA's most proud mass-producer of burger-based calories, Carl's Jr., has a thing on its menu called the Teriyaki Burger, described as "Charbroiled All Beef Patty, Teriyaki Glaze, Grilled Dole Pineapple, Two Slices of Swiss Cheese, Red Onion, Lettuce, Tomato and Mayonnaise on a Toasted Sesame Seed Bun". Now, none of those ingredients alone are deal-killers for me, but mixing Pineapple, Teriyaki Sauce, Mayonnaise and Lettuce is something that should never have been allowed to happen. But then, they also have a Portobello Mushroom Burger, Guacamole Burger, Jalapeno Burger (but no Guacamole AND Jalapeno combo? sad.) and a "Breakfast Burger" with SCRAMBLED egg and Hash Brown 'Patties'. If you can't find anything on Carl's Jr.'s menu that disgusts you, I don't want to have lunch with you.

However, one of their earliest Mutant burgers and still my favorite is the Western Bacon Cheeseburger: Bacon, semi-blah American Cheese, okay Barbecue Sauce and what has become my single favorite burger topper, Deep Fried Onion Rings. I've gotten an order of Onion Rings on the side just to supplement the Onion Ring-iness. Call me crazy...

You're crazy!

...but I've never been satisfied with raw Onions on a burger since. (So In-N-Out's optional Grilled-Beyond-Recognition Onions are also high on my list.)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:53 AM on March 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

The ultimate Australian burger is actually the Bogan Burger. No idea if they still sell them, but it's everything good about Australian pub food in the one burger. (And yes, I have eaten one, and I lived to tell the tale.)

Bogan burger – steak, chicken schnitzel, caramelised onions, cheese, pineapple, beetroot, egg, potato cake, bacon, lettuce, tomato with wedges and salad. $17.50

... and yes - it's still on sale
posted by Smurfing Beer at 3:46 AM on March 28, 2011

So nobody else thinks it's a bit weird that this woman is expected to cook a hamburger for her father every single night?
This isn't a food blog, it's a desperate cry for help.
posted by Flashman at 4:09 AM on March 28, 2011 [7 favorites]

And now I can't stop thinking about Kingsley's (Canberra) chicken burgers. A spectacular schnitzel on a roll with coleslaw. And their chips are to die for. Insert drooling here.

Kingsleys chicken burger with chips on the side. Heaven on a stick... without the stick.

If anyone's looking for me, I'll be moving back to Canberra just to have access to Kingsley's.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 4:20 AM on March 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am the Australian who does not like beetroot, pineapple or bacon on her hamburgers.

So I do in fact dispute the idea that a proper Australian hamburger must contain these items, because I am a proper Australian and I like hamburgers very much.

Flame(grill) away.
posted by jasperella at 4:24 AM on March 28, 2011

{/}
posted by kmz at 4:31 AM on March 28, 2011

Oh well, if no-one else will, then I suppose it falls to me:

Metafilter: I've eaten 5 guys for the past 3 days
posted by kcds at 4:51 AM on March 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

You don't need all this craziness.

Just get a bacon-chili-cheese double from this place. Good as it gets.
posted by jonmc at 5:02 AM on March 28, 2011

I have to admit that I used to go to KFC. The burger with an Original fillet, pineapple, and bacon was great.

the Best (Most?) Drunk Burger ever - an oddly large, flattened, battered(?), chicken(?) breast(?)

And now I can't stop thinking about Kingsley's (Canberra) chicken burgers.

Are these "burgers" with chicken breasts instead of ground beef? This is more perplexing than the addition of beets. Kind of the same thing as mixing vodka with half-and-half and creme de cacao and calling that a martini. I do like a very good chicken sandwich, but in the US you wouldn't call it a burger unless the chicken was ground up and shaped into a patty.
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:24 AM on March 28, 2011

Now I want a Russell Crowe flat white burger with beetroot. No pineapple though, that's just nasty.
posted by biscotti at 5:55 AM on March 28, 2011

Beetroot or not beetroot? Well maybe we can all agree at least that carrotroot, turniproot, and potatoroot do not belong in a burger?

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU WEIRD NOT NORTH AMERICANS?! It is the main thing we eat from the plant, so it is just "beet". The top is "beet greens" - it needs a qualifier because it is not the main thing from the plant. PLEASE CHANGE NOW TO CONFORM TO MY IDIOLECT.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:11 AM on March 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

When I was a kid in England, we were at some national park or forest and for lunch we stopped at the concession stand. I ordered a hamburger, and received a burger made of....ham. Not a ham steak, either, but chopped up processed ham food. It was a traumatic experience.

No mayo on a burger for me, and the beef should be of decent enough quality that it can be - indeed, should be - cooked to no more than medium rare. My friend Greta mixes her ground beef (actually, buffalo is what she uses - it's a little lean for my taste, and must be watched very carefully on the grill, but it's good) with fresh thyme, and it's delicious.
posted by rtha at 6:11 AM on March 28, 2011

WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU WEIRD NOT NORTH AMERICANS?! It is the main thing we eat from the plant, so it is just "beet". The top is "beet greens" - it needs a qualifier because it is not the main thing from the plant. PLEASE CHANGE NOW TO CONFORM TO MY IDIOLECT.

Yo guy. Chill.
posted by molecicco at 6:15 AM on March 28, 2011

was completely chill but you people with your fucking "beetroot this" and "beetroot that" are giving me an aneurysm. STOP SAYING BEETROOT!!!
posted by Meatbomb at 6:16 AM on March 28, 2011 [5 favorites]

In the student pubs in Uppsala Sweden they had something called a lyxburgare, which was a burger with a fried egg, mayo-based salad dressing, and cheese. Mmmm.
posted by melissam at 6:17 AM on March 28, 2011

was completely chill but you people with your fucking "beetroot this" and "beetroot that" are giving me an aneurysm. STOP SAYING BEETROOT!!!

I will happily surrender my usage of beetroot when you agree to correct your pronunciation of the following words: caramel, aluminium, and herbs.

So I do in fact dispute the idea that a proper Australian hamburger must contain these items, because I am a proper Australian and I like hamburgers very much.

Sure, but a hamburger without beetroot and egg is a citizen of the world. The burgawiththalot is our own parochial perversion.
posted by zamboni at 6:47 AM on March 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

hey, i'm not even one of them! but if you like i can take issue with calling rooms that contain no baths "bathrooms".

yes zamboni, herbs, it does have an "h" in it, doesn't it?
posted by molecicco at 6:51 AM on March 28, 2011

You can keep the pav and Crowe (please, keep Crowe or rather, take him back) but us non-posh Aussies who don't get off on coffee froth designs really like our flat whites.

Oh, so do Kiwis. There was a big debate about the origins of flat whites here on MeFi, not so long ago. (Russell Crowe I put in to check if anyone was paying attention...).

I do like a very good chicken sandwich, but in the US you wouldn't call it a burger unless the chicken was ground up and shaped into a patty.

This confused the heck out of me for a while, but I think it makes sense now. Way I was brought up, a burger is the whole thing, with the burger buns being the critical factor in deciding whether or not it's a burger. A sandwich is basically something with flat pieces of bread, the same sort of bread that you could put in a toaster. I have gradually come to accept that Americans have different definitions, and that this does not necessarily make them bad people.

When I was a kid in England, we were at some national park or forest and for lunch we stopped at the concession stand. I ordered a hamburger, and received a burger made of....ham. Not a ham steak, either, but chopped up processed ham food. It was a traumatic experience.

Sounds hideous. I've had some good hamburgers with real ham, but it requires the beef patty, along with proper, grilled ham. (I don't think the English really get hamburgers, to be honest, although some decent chains are slowly appearing).
posted by Infinite Jest at 6:52 AM on March 28, 2011

So nobody else thinks it's a bit weird that this woman is expected to cook a hamburger for her father every single night?
This isn't a food blog, it's a desperate cry for help.

She's a hamburger Scheherazade.
posted by grobstein at 6:54 AM on March 28, 2011 [6 favorites]

This confused the heck out of me for a while, but I think it makes sense now. Way I was brought up, a burger is the whole thing, with the burger buns being the critical factor in deciding whether or not it's a burger. A sandwich is basically something with flat pieces of bread, the same sort of bread that you could put in a toaster.

There are of course outliers, like Louis' Lunch. (They get a pass for historical reasons.)
posted by zamboni at 6:59 AM on March 28, 2011

> Any fish and chip shop worth its chicken salt will do a decent burger,

Huh. See, in England at least, my rule is this: if the fish and chip shop sells anything other than fish and chips then not only is the fish going to be inedible, so is the everything else.
posted by vbfg at 7:03 AM on March 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

I've had some good hamburgers with real ham,

Yeah, a grilled ham steak wouldn't have been a problem - weird, maybe, but not a problem. But the chopped up processed ham food was beyond the pale. I say this as someone who grew up in Hawaii, home of spam cuisine; the ham burger in England was eleventy times more disgusting than spam.

The way I grew up, a burger is a burger even without all the trappings. A ground beef patty that is grilled or fried is a burger.
posted by rtha at 7:07 AM on March 28, 2011

She's a hamburger Scheherazade.

Now, O Sultan, you have tasted of the Burger, revelled in its Lettuce of the Iceberg, and wondered at the Mystery of the Special Sauce. Consider sparing me until the morrow, when you may taste of the Fries and Shake, and enjoy great sport with The Promotional Plastic Plaything.
posted by zamboni at 7:14 AM on March 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

It's fun to conjecture what might be done in future editions; it'll be interesting to see how my own guesses match up.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:15 AM on March 28, 2011

STOP SAYING BEETROOT!!!

Dude. Tuna fish.
posted by cardboard at 7:53 AM on March 28, 2011 [5 favorites]

I totally love this post. Also, I'm reading it while eating a fried egg sandwich doused in mayonnaise and sweet chili sauce. Now I just have to think of like 364 variations and maybe I'll get myself a book deal.
posted by crackingdes at 8:00 AM on March 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

If you can't find anything on Carl's Jr.'s menu that disgusts you, I don't want to have lunch with you.

Whoo boy, you do not want to have lunch with me.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:30 AM on March 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love to see Team Metafilter getting excited about something important. Also, I love the idea of a cooking blog that cooks something simple enough that I might actually follow it. (The Afghanistan burger looked far more exciting to me that the Aussie. Sorry Aussies.)
posted by immlass at 8:49 AM on March 28, 2011

This post, and the thread, torments me in so many ways. Seriously, tortured. Delicious FPP.
posted by Xoebe at 8:51 AM on March 28, 2011

Curious to see the upcoming veggie ones, and how the burgers were received. For the one person I know who always gets a burger whenever it's an option, I imagine him letting all the interesting non-patty ingredients fall to the side (like when the tomato and lettuce "slip" out).
posted by PY at 8:55 AM on March 28, 2011

I should not have read this thread while hungry.
posted by kryptondog at 9:15 AM on March 28, 2011

Yes, I planned ahead and ordered lunch in before opening this thread.

I know some people like to have their beef cooked, errghg, more than medium rare; I realize it is a personal choice. I am still practicing the motor control necessary to not, say, jump on the table shouting "WHAT! WELL DONE! WHY NOT HAVE SOME RUBBER DAMN YOU!" I presently have it limited to a twitch and an inhale or exhale of breath. Still more practice..
posted by cavalier at 9:24 AM on March 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

Next frontier: HISTORY!

Ancient Roman hamburgers? some peacock tongues, silphium, and honey?

Ancient Aztec? BLOODY red sauce if you know what I mean

Medieval? five weeks' worth of bacteria growth plus some cinnamon and cloves?


others?
posted by jfwlucy at 9:40 AM on March 28, 2011

I've had some good hamburgers with real ham

the Double-R-Bar burger was one of the best bugers EVAR! Scroll down and check out the pic!

don't know if you would consider it real ham, maybe not even real pork
posted by Ad hominem at 9:43 AM on March 28, 2011

Biblical hamburger: JUST SET FIRE TO IT ON AN ALTAR, THANKS.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:35 AM on March 28, 2011 [3 favorites]

I mostly came in here to point out to you all that a burger isn't actually a burger unless it has a New Mexico green chili on it.

Best burger of my life was in New Mexico, from some roadside burger joint. I went for red instead of green though. A decade later and I still remember the experience vividly. I now rate all other burgers as 'the best burger ... available to me' because that is the only way I can pretend to be satisfied.

Never had pineapple or beetroot with a burger. Will have to try both at some point.
posted by slimepuppy at 11:19 AM on March 28, 2011

Who has time to go find these whackass ingredients? I don't know how to infuse mayonnaise. Pomegranate molasses? Apricot saffron sauce? I'd go get my dad a crave case from White Castle and tell him to shut the fuck up.
posted by Kokopuff at 11:54 AM on March 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ancient Roman hamburgers? some peacock tongues, silphium, and honey?

ISICIA OMENTATA (a kind of Roman Burgers)

Ancient Aztec? BLOODY red sauce if you know what I mean

More like Garden Burgers.

Medieval? five weeks' worth of bacteria growth plus some cinnamon and cloves?

If you can afford cinnamon and cloves, you're not eating rotten meat. Anyway, Ahrash actually sounds really good.
posted by zamboni at 12:19 PM on March 28, 2011

I'd go get my dad a crave case from White Castle

The only way I've ever been able to stomach Whitey's has been after a long night of drinking cheap US domestic beer. When I have that special drunk, White Castle is indeed what I crave.

Conversely, when I tried eating Whitey's whilst sober, I choked down three ratburgers, and then puked.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 12:48 PM on March 28, 2011

The only way I've ever been able to stomach Whitey's has been after a long night of drinking cheap US domestic beer. When I have that special drunk, White Castle is indeed what I crave.

I was never able to get my head around Terry Pratchett's CMOT Dibbler's food (mostly terrible, made from suspect parts, yet craved if not eaten for too long...) until I started putting it in the context of White Castle.

No, it's not good, it's actually pretty bad, but under the right circumstances, it's exactly what I'm hungry for. Now I think of them as Dibbler's White Castle ratsliders.
posted by quin at 2:41 PM on March 28, 2011

@malibustacey9999: If anyone's looking for me, I'll be moving back to Canberra just to have access to Kingsley's.

The burger of choice in Canberra at the moment is Brodburger. Last time I went to Brodburger I went home hungry because I couldn't wait the 45 minutes they told us it would be until our order was up. Brodburger burgers are seriously good, but no burger is worth starving for 45 minutes for.
posted by damonism at 2:54 PM on March 28, 2011

I had a go making up weird burgers last year, and the winner had to be the Tan Tan Burger. Holy crap it was good; just mix a bit of ground pork in with the ground beef.
posted by Hoopo at 3:07 PM on March 28, 2011

Huh. See, in England at least, my rule is this: if the fish and chip shop sells anything other than fish and chips then not only is the fish going to be inedible, so is the everything else.

Huh. I've never seen a fish and chip shop that doesn't also sell other things. I don't really like battered fish all that much, so when I "get fish and chips" People understand "fish and chips" to mean "anything from a takeaway store that sells chips.


Are these "burgers" with chicken breasts instead of ground beef? This is more perplexing than the addition of beets. Kind of the same thing as mixing vodka with half-and-half and creme de cacao and calling that a martini. I do like a very good chicken sandwich, but in the US you wouldn't call it a burger unless the chicken was ground up and shaped into a patty.

I was going to explain my understanding of the term "burger" to include chicken breast on thick bread, but last time I was in the States I asked for a burger at a crappy burger place and the girl said "Do you mean a "sandwich"?
posted by doublehappy at 3:57 PM on March 28, 2011

Kingsleys chicken burger with chips on the side. Heaven on a stick... without the stick.

The bun is just wrong, the chicken isn't quite KFC, the gravy is dodgy, but all three together with a bag of those crinkle cut bad boys - argglglggl.

Brod is amazing, but damned if I'll wait an hour for another one. Especially when I can get one at the Lachlan Cafe just up the road for half the price and in three minutes flat. If Lachlan made the switch from rissole-type patties that taste of dried herbs to flame-grilled all-beef and dumped some aioli on top, Brod would be out of business. Their chips are much better too.

The takeaway joint at Chisholm shops does a mean burger if anybody's down that way. The Oporto knock-offs at Erindale aren't bad either.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 5:31 PM on March 28, 2011

I'm feeling a bit sad that, having 'done' the Aussie burger, there isn't anything more to say about the Kiwi burger.

Oh yeah? A Kiwi burger would surely be a lamburger - with beetroot. And if you ask for the 'works', it better have at least bacon, pineapple, cheese, mushrooms and egg.

OBTW - we'll stop calling it 'beetroot' when you stop calling kiwifruit 'kiwi'. A kiwi is a bird dammit!
posted by HiroProtagonist at 6:09 PM on March 28, 2011

I am the Australian who does not like beetroot, pineapple or bacon on her hamburgers.

So I do in fact dispute the idea that a proper Australian hamburger must contain these items, because I am a proper Australian and I like hamburgers very much.
posted by jasperella at 4:24 AM on March 28 [+] [!]

Jasperella, I feel your pain. I am a California who is allergic to avocado and thus can not even eat the (swelling death) burger of my home state because California means "avocado" to most restaurants.
posted by vespabelle at 6:13 PM on March 28, 2011

I'm looking forward to Greenland.
posted by baxter_ilion at 8:04 PM on March 28, 2011

So many opinions on burgers. Anyone willing to post "how to do The 'Perfect Burger'?"

Classic Burger:

Good elasticy glutenacious bun
Thick 3/4 pound chopped* beef patty, medium rare but with a thick burnt crust
Topped with slice of real cheddar
Thin layer of mayonaise on the bottom bun
Butter on both buns, toasted
Topped with crisp lettuce
Topped with thinly sliced ripe tomato
Ketchup and relish spread on upper bun

Served while the patty and real cheese is still hot and the veggies cold. Bun (insides) is toasted on butter, prior.

Thinly *thinly* sliced onions (or deep fried spiral-cut onions) just under the top bun.

For bacon fans, super crispy (but not burnt) melty thick-cut bacon beneath everything first floor above the bottom bun.

--

Beetroot; it sounds like the ideal beetroot is soft and soggy - wouldn't a sweet pickled-raw (crunchy but much much less resistance than raw beetroot) beetroot slice be better?

*have you ever tried a proper *chopped* - ie, minced patty vs. a ground patty? Worlds.... WORLDS of difference. To do it by hand is a ton of hard work, but... in certain circumstances it's worth the effort.
posted by porpoise at 9:50 PM on March 28, 2011

This blog makes my mouth water, but I have one question: What happens when she gets to India?
posted by Vicarious at 10:25 PM on March 28, 2011

Smurfing Beer: "Bogan burger – steak, chicken schnitzel, caramelised onions, cheese, pineapple, beetroot, egg, potato cake, bacon, lettuce, tomato with wedges and salad. $17.50"

Me and a buddy sat at The Napier one night and watched a guy who lost a bet eat two Bogan Burgers. Chips and all. They filmed it for some reason. He got them both in but they didn't stay in for long. But they were nice chaps and got a bucket and hose and cleaned up after themselves. They were in the courtyard and one of the chefs came out for his meal break, saw what was going on and slunk back inside.

I have eaten this burger on a few occasions.

And burgers should have beetroot (BEETROOT). Pineapple is optional though I don't mind it. I also don't mind the mayo.

BEETROOT
posted by bdave at 10:50 PM on March 28, 2011

because I am a proper Australian

But you're not a true Australian, because all true Australians - fair dinkum, true blue battlers, in working families, with mates, who support our diggers - love BEETROOT.

But we want to give you a fair shake of the sauce bottle. Just say 'Mate, I could fuckin' go some BEETROOT', and then EAT SOME BEETROOT, and then say 'Mate, I fuckin' love BEETROOT', and you won't end up in a dark room with Osama bin Brooklyn sporting matching orange trackies and listening to Russell Crowe's band.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 12:27 AM on March 29, 2011

Mmm, beetroot and egg on a burger. Fan-bloody-tastic. And yeah, the beetroot doesn't have to be pickled, roasted is fine too. This pineapple business has got to stop though.

I'm interested in seeing all the burgers she comes up with but I'm definitely getting the made-up backstory vibe, which leaves me conflicted. I guess it's free to read the blog though, so no need to pay for the inevitable book.
posted by harriet vane at 2:41 AM on March 29, 2011

That's it, now I start taking down names, this has gone too far.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:59 AM on March 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

> Huh. I've never seen a fish and chip shop that doesn't also sell other things. I don't
> really like battered fish all that much, so when I "get fish and chips" People
> understand "fish and chips" to mean "anything from a takeaway store that sells chips.

Must be just an English thing. Might even be a my part of England thing for all I know.

Things like battered sausage are okay. It's when they veer away from the fryer altogether and start doing things like pizza or curry or kebabs or anything like that. There might be decent fish to be had from some of these places but in my experience they figured out what they were going to sell and started doing them all at the same time. They opened a takeaway, not a fish and chip shop.

You need to care about the fish and the batter in particular to do it right.
posted by vbfg at 7:50 AM on March 29, 2011

Finnish hamburger: 1 loaf rye bread, 1/2 kg chopped reindeer, ten liters of vodka. Drink the vodka and stare despondently at the other ingredients for the rest of winter until the sun comes back again.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:03 AM on March 29, 2011 [5 favorites]

I hate beets and I hate pineapple, but a fried egg on a burger is damn delicious.

Also, there's a place that I went to in Ottawa, The Works, that offers a RIDICULOUS amount of variety in their burgers. The Kraft Dinner one is particularly tasty. They're really, REALLY overpriced though, so I just make my own KD burgers at home :)
posted by antifuse at 11:51 AM on March 29, 2011

It is the main thing we eat from the plant, so it is just "beet"

That'd be no good - then we wouldn't be able to say "y' can't beet a root".
posted by HiroProtagonist at 6:22 PM on March 29, 2011

I guess the North Americans have it right regarding the beetroot thing. It should indeed be "beets". Beets are a good thing to serve with spinaches, or as a refreshing aperitif before one commences to sit down and enjoy a good slice of watermelons.
posted by tumid dahlia at 8:12 PM on March 31, 2011