Yes, That Can Be My Next Tweet

April 12, 2011 12:35 PM

Yes, That Can Be My Next Tweet creates random Tweets for you based on your previous ones. MarkovFilter in 140 characters.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (178 comments total)

Because subway crapped out, came to me! The Conservative government's been really bad today. OH OK now.

That's actually pretty representative. Well done.
posted by randomination at 12:37 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

You Sex, relationships plus rain require rum. Dude, right after? And yes, I am gonna make it is!

I think that sums me up pretty nicely.
posted by NoraReed at 12:38 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Are there was alright, but that picture. It's just realized I'm not reading blogs?

I is English not so good.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 12:40 PM on April 12, 2011

I don't have a Twitter account, but typing in "shitmydadsays" yields:

Your mom got him a shit. I didn't invent it, or fucking umbrella in its okay to step in human feces a.
posted by Crane Shot at 12:40 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

Thanks! I hate that documentary. I mean.... woooooooood! Wooooood! Robocop Fried Chicken Commercial Whoa!

It's looking in an mirror.
posted by brundlefly at 12:40 PM on April 12, 2011 [15 favorites]

Boy do it on the worst. I took yesterday off to fucking sleep party. If you've been sitting on Twitter!

That is indeed something that I would say.
posted by Zozo at 12:40 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am lower-upper middle class. The cats around $230.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:41 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Enjoying a tactless impalement of shout outs, and open APs sucks. Oh, yeah.
posted by Samizdata at 12:41 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

My co-worker reported a Mac Classic on a cat's head. It was surprised. I think Steve Martin is MY FUCKING!
posted by brundlefly at 12:42 PM on April 12, 2011 [5 favorites]

Or, more appropriately...

Movie done. Weak ending, with a sheep-loving reference. And a native client. Bored. Lonely. Need company.
posted by Samizdata at 12:42 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Mine just returned what may be the meaning of life or something:

The 5-year-old's dream. Love is just solved racism?
posted by Zozo at 12:43 PM on April 12, 2011 [11 favorites]

- Been there, Kelly. It's a smile this year. Long shuttle ride back to stop crying I live in this year.

Eerily representative of my 2010.
posted by willpie at 12:43 PM on April 12, 2011

Anyone named Doctor Kaboom *has* to model knit headwear. Requested headshot.

That's funny on several levels.
posted by pjern at 12:44 PM on April 12, 2011 [6 favorites]

I call him Hitler McEuthanasia doesn't force me into one of a sissy name.

Morris is on Obama's bipartisanship fetish? Machiavellian or limp wristed hopefulness?
posted by wcfields at 12:44 PM on April 12, 2011

Lessons learned from PayPal's semi-spammy email newsletter. You'll be winning 50%. Hej Peter!
posted by sveskemus at 12:45 PM on April 12, 2011

Mine came out as:

NPR is.

Very percipient, no?
posted by schmod at 12:45 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

And in closing...

Dear Merchant: I don't have fire, though. Seriously, good thing he's Bachelor Frog and a lot of dicks.
posted by Zozo at 12:46 PM on April 12, 2011

Lunch in the resort tucked between rice paddies. Waiting for brains. You are great.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:47 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

MarkovFilter in 140 characters.

Minus the length of the link back to the site appended to every generated tweet.
posted by pjern at 12:47 PM on April 12, 2011

Only solution = a tragedy. Finally ate at Roberta's tonight — still jealous.

Raekwon vs Destroyer: An explanation for you. You're using beards as some sort of humor often so many?

Nice I didn't sleep in BK? A cup of New Jersey Shore season indie pop goes the eye and get down on a new!

Further explanation: never explained why I see a beer, waiting for one time fee. No judgement here.

The Mystic Chords of Being Pure at Snacky's in a beer, waiting for the top and sing along loudly kind of.


This is pretty great.
posted by defenestration at 12:47 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Not motivated. huh unless you're in the William Carlos Williams generator!
posted by hellojed at 12:48 PM on April 12, 2011

I actually wish I had written this:
No, I'm not even sure they can. I live in the title to my meds: drink a sheep named Shamrock!
posted by willpie at 12:48 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

I can watch Bode Miller avoid DNF in three days. I can't stop poking.
posted by yeti at 12:52 PM on April 12, 2011

South Kensington: the English countryside style with a peg leg...
posted by nickrussell at 12:52 PM on April 12, 2011

Just watched Toy Story 3. What's that? Oh, nothing. Just watched Johnnie To's Vengeance".

It's like I was ashamed of watching Toy Story 3 for some reason, and wanted people to think I was more hard-core.
posted by brundlefly at 12:53 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

The Grudge on the Food Network devoted solely to Seattle's Belltown neighborhood.

This about sums it up.
posted by bayani at 12:54 PM on April 12, 2011

New Post: The Green Lantern Corps Animal Sidekicks, Part One - Discovery and Child Labor Laws.

Yeah that sounds about right.
posted by jedicus at 12:54 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Dove will make it will get to accept invites, was it whatever chance I dread to cosmic rays.

Logged into something weird sov story inspirations. ooooooh. Really looking too good these days are?

MeFi meetup. It does sort of the aether on my brief stint of government works anyway Always a replacement.

One thing to cheerily say mvc json jquery a multi-year sulk about the goat curry pasties...

Ring of minecraft pigs One time frozen existance of his yellow fever. Tobe Hooper directed the original.

OK, clearly Markov Me is like a drunker, even less good at iPhone typing me. It clearly shares the same concerns...
posted by Artw at 12:55 PM on April 12, 2011

Ugh, an eternal "loading..." box. I have to know--what will I tweet next?!?
posted by wpenman at 12:57 PM on April 12, 2011

I love my block all punk, all punk, all nervous and then I thought something to get it was so dull?

This bus feels conducive to the best beers. smoking s joint. Any confirmation on a rad weekend with it.

I just gotta get down on a new follower. congrats I wouldn't, but do you know that.

The power is fantastic. You've got 140 characters! I don't need the top and get me to 1998 and we'll be!

I had sudden urge to have a badge to test it here. I navel-gaze while listening to be home.

You're Hollywood, yes. Dunno about this? @BreakingNews: Police estimate death toll from Twin Peaks.

I bought it. I did using beards as hell. I'm going to sell goddamn domains.

An entirely valid reason. Good enough for melodramatic, self-loathing, drunken musicians.
posted by defenestration at 12:58 PM on April 12, 2011

!

Well that's short and sweet.
posted by Artw at 12:59 PM on April 12, 2011

Okay, let's play guess the twitter account (this is an indie game developer):

Yeah! :D I clearly said indie beer, so yes! I hope it came in your test it, jump and two 360 controllers!
posted by empath at 1:00 PM on April 12, 2011

Gang fight, gang fight, gang fight, gang fight, the snake pit. gang fight, the reason we're hounding you!
posted by johnnybeggs at 1:01 PM on April 12, 2011

Oh ye gods what time at the morning. Let's try that looked promising & it keeps on singing janis songs!
posted by mygothlaundry at 1:01 PM on April 12, 2011

Happy Birthday. I will marvel at 5.30am to bed now. I'm talking in Chicago library 7pm, TOMORROW solo!

(a famous author)
posted by empath at 1:02 PM on April 12, 2011

Oooh, this one's even better:

Why do it! Also, stay for Xmas. I still know him? Nice. Now feel & I'm so miserable.
posted by mygothlaundry at 1:03 PM on April 12, 2011

I've been going to be doing well. It's true, a terrible artist. I'm too lazy/tired to the quickest?

"I've been going to be doing well" is a pretty good summary of my life.

Hey guys, is real, why isn't it still made me a desert island, be a comic strip for a crimehole?

Does your glasses! Hooray! Congratulations! it now. it is a bus say Rest in the street We just spoke into!

On a yarn store? I do have the Case of ice. Fortunately, the dorkiest Robot Master?

If you drunk the cat blogosphere. Today calls for plant & Rihanna is the fruit part.

Do not disappoint! it's often hey, I done running. Tomorrow is a sweater when he was freakin' annoying.

This person is way more entertaining than me.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:03 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Came home to move a 13-hr stint w/ a T-Rex statue out of town, sadly. Just told you and Leverage's Maggie?

It's true. I tell Kari Matchett everything.
posted by rewil at 1:03 PM on April 12, 2011

I love your process for dinner! I'm good. Just found the heat-death of both IP addresses and green beans.

That site is full of win.
posted by duien at 1:06 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

This worries me:

Hahah point taken. But why? Pretty sure this stuff come from Michael Vick's basement.
posted by bayani at 1:07 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Don't believe the driveway and thorny flowers are a new script based on foreplay.
posted by perhapses at 1:09 PM on April 12, 2011

Thanks for free and how blessed I was making amends and Tennille's Muskrat Love You would be there are!
posted by munchingzombie at 1:10 PM on April 12, 2011

Kinda let down by new crack babies. I noticed that is god & I'm only ½way thru.

Damn. I'm one fucked-up individual.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 1:13 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Fuck Qwest forever TOO MUCH COFFEE Had a radical environmentalist. We'll see.

The phone call telling me Despite the time so just that he is precisely why I didn't work :C Just FYI!

Happy new Mass Effect 2 playthrough in a dozen times an internal Egyptian matter. Really?

Wow, it's almost as incoherent as my actual Twitter feed.
posted by Electrius at 1:13 PM on April 12, 2011

Google Chrome Riot Dog! ComEd seeks to buy up to privatize recycling program. Will It Shame That Tune!

I couldn't have said it better my self.
posted by kakarott999 at 1:14 PM on April 12, 2011

I'm not permitted! I got rained out of an entrepreneur. It feels like it to die while he plays with kin.

TSA agent went to pay off me, you laugh more. I got some dog food. It was screaming, so that cat could!

Why do again!! Lying in DC: Google Docs is that last pair of a larger sample as baby diapers?

Got Mine, my way down. DFW My right armpit stinks but w/o pain. Unless he squeezes. Happiness returns.
posted by perhapses at 1:15 PM on April 12, 2011

I can handle Minneapolis Party Pharoah? Good crazy, or some weird that was getting loaded at San Quentin?

Now I want to go hang out with myself.
posted by COBRA! at 1:16 PM on April 12, 2011

Nope, just tried watching GitS 2 again. Still a learning experience. I am Mr. Grouchy McPoopypants today.
posted by ooga_booga at 1:16 PM on April 12, 2011

"I love Kate Beaton so delightfully I'm almost ashamed! THAT'S WILLIE'S RETIREMENT GREASE"
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:16 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

"Pretty sure that line was THAT WAY ABOUT 2-PLY TOILET PAPER. Democrats are sociopaths."

I think I actually wrote that once here.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:18 PM on April 12, 2011

Fuck that look. Kinsler!!!!! This shouldn't hurt, but I've always liked that bit.

I, uh, incident. Be Inside!. Taken any day this that was Okie 4th grade.

Does he want to go out of smiles like this...

No, surely he does not want to go out of smiles like that.
posted by Ufez Jones at 1:18 PM on April 12, 2011

Had to click a few times before getting anything remotely coherent. However...

Espousing Mefites. Blatantly procrastinating. Lonely and wondering if it's the amount I can make myself?

I should correspond with hot gooey love for the final word. When you want is on life for leftovers.

My Kiva team is the universe accommodated therein, when you've just inspired myself.
posted by zennie at 1:18 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Argggggh. I was my surprise. Discovered I guess. :\ my surprise. Discovered I walked everywhere, too.

Altho this time I've actually make a few dishes. :/ Lapcat with one possible to anything that makes more?

Interesting, same emoticon twice in a row, but with the slash going in two different directions. I think it's the difference between phone & desktop posting: G2's keyboard only gives me "/", but on a full keyboard "\" is more comfortable to type.

We've had terrible java issues when I lived in the computer stuff: Jr class actually felt better.

Indeed.
posted by epersonae at 1:19 PM on April 12, 2011

And irritable, go figure. they barf glitter! hey lore, care for topless brunches with a good thing!

Apparently Markov me is a shameless, irritable slut.
posted by ooga_booga at 1:19 PM on April 12, 2011

"Sometime I wanna start writing about the balloon. Also I'm giggling at this because, like stew."
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:19 PM on April 12, 2011

Congrats & metafilter wackiness, but travels mugs fit quite nicely in a big player, obvs.

MetaFilter! (obvs.)
posted by epersonae at 1:23 PM on April 12, 2011

Markov twitter >> real twitter
posted by memebake at 1:23 PM on April 12, 2011

"It will not cause hallucinations, it Oh wait, false alarm. I have fired a crazy 30's Hitchcockian/Macbeth?"

Well that pretty much sums me up as a person.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 1:23 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was screaming, so I realized I can't think anyone to leave. I'm not working out.

Spent many times, you'll start doing geriatric parkour for the House cafeteria menu to opt for that.

Fifteen years earlier. I told her and desires of Kant and apocalypse share a strange combination.

Film review for miniature donkeys. My ability to opt for getting stuck in the world without elephants!

Ohh zennie, I want to correspond with the hot gooey love.
posted by perhapses at 1:25 PM on April 12, 2011

Favre is going to drop money on summer league pass. can't watch the toilet swirls the most authentic, all!

awesome.
posted by antonymous at 1:25 PM on April 12, 2011

Bang Said The Gun and they were poisoning him. It feels like my Earthly duty to harvest it?

Woah. It's a good job I'm not teetering on the edge of florid psychosis because mine definitely read like coded messages for me to go assassinate some prominent world figures.
posted by RokkitNite at 1:26 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Discovered hotel bar band is not dogsitting, I'm not wrong.

Y'all.

I get to put money in like money or something. I have strong feelings about over it.

I might as well just get off the internet and let this thing play me from now on.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:28 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

How do I create a bot following twitter accounts and automatically create @reply based on their tweets? CharliesSheenBot could have been pretty good few weeks back.
posted by zeikka at 1:29 PM on April 12, 2011

So true.

I'm on the path of the previous 2,438 weeks of being open but it actually takes only 1.
posted by perhapses at 1:30 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Throat still hurts almost over! Then I dreamed that you want them the best thing ever. Go snow!
She sounds more fun than me.
posted by rmless at 1:32 PM on April 12, 2011

Our long term crisis is the man, even if you die by stripping rights through IRS website lends some!
posted by ofthestrait at 1:32 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't have a twitter, but...
CNN Breaking News: Remains of Ivory Coast's elected president Gbagbo stronghold. Former Egyptian President Hosni had to sue.

The Onion: American Voices: FDA: Food Pyramid U.S. Coleslaw Remains Uneaten Kemba Walker Wants To Save Parents'?
posted by jouir at 1:35 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Vietnamese fried rice for the weights! RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAA Take THAT, Beijing!!

I'm addicted.
posted by bayani at 1:36 PM on April 12, 2011

Note to self: When expecting some sort of semantic analysis, you should realize that random sentence fragments jammed together is more likely what you're going to get.

Purple monkey dishwasher.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 1:39 PM on April 12, 2011

Just had a pink fleece lipstick-kiss-patterned onesie. Awwwww yeah. The address for a senior center.

Mmmmmm, tea. Tea fixes everything. Especially my roommate hang up to my other proposed bills made me to?

Showed that animatronic lion. When my god oh god, be safe darling! Wow, I'm fairly sure the cold.

Bahahahahaha. Also, Markov me is apparently not a happy traveler:

Delta Sky Club in fire, please. If it started at a lot. ZOMG why didn't I WILL NOT know I just got mad.
posted by Devika at 1:39 PM on April 12, 2011

We are all Bill Burroughs now.
posted by Artw at 1:40 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I only watch lost to a talk about GOOOOOOLD! is it bad that I nominate for a talk about GOOOOOOLD!

... yeah this seems about right.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 1:40 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

We're meeting in Japan. Oh my. I never replied. Thurs. arrival and now : I have no silver lining.
posted by SemiSophos at 1:42 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

mefiblue and mefigreen are two twitter accounts worth putting through this machine
posted by memebake at 1:43 PM on April 12, 2011

You're watching Sports Night, on CSC, so stick around.
posted by doublehappy at 1:44 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

Hmmmm.

Still need a rectal exam. My ability to turn the disturbance perturbed the Memorial Coliseum?

Looking forward to force only two kids to have my crotch. Operation complete.

Happiness returns. Pain gone. Out of the many hours in the duration of Heaven's Gate this weekend!

Rape. Murder. It's not all that moniker, then came Jan. 17th. For sanity. Sometimes I yearn for the loss.
posted by perhapses at 1:45 PM on April 12, 2011

Wonders where the respected IESO historical wind generation queries rattling turbine wasn't out for lunch!
posted by scruss at 1:46 PM on April 12, 2011

I DINT GET THE DAY OF MAYONNAISE CHESEY BITES PIZZA S A REPEATING BEAT U CAN BE LIKE PARKOUR?
posted by Greg Nog at 1:50 PM on April 12, 2011

Well, it finally happened.
I guess we just turn on the devices and let them chatter amongst themselves?
Whew - no need for me to Twitter personally any more!
posted by likeso at 1:52 PM on April 12, 2011

Is annoyed.

I think I win.
posted by Lucinda at 1:54 PM on April 12, 2011

I spent too long on this site just now, giggling.

The delete system is back to break me. Fuck that long ago. All remained proportionate.

Goblins are delicious. You want to be wearing paper crowns. Our knight fucks dudes up.

Roadside scenery. Ira Glass' dulcet tones. Yelling with deer out on the Yankees. Mmm, schadenfreude.

A few months late, but. The worst wake-up call. Oh, and then went for Foursquare control of my leg.

Great news, everyone! My bag is ooh la la la la la la la la la la la la la over and rolled away.

Nyquil saps my bones. She already did. Outside TI's poker room. Where do they rally, not the bar now?

Whoa, theater has skills. Lo, it is a football game. And that's a beer. Any folks here?

I've been here. Boston's trouncing the seal. Whoa, theater has booze. Okay, now I'm finally finishing!
posted by ego at 1:57 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

I always keep a room, waiting. Can I got the bad guys will be.
posted by pink candy floss at 2:00 PM on April 12, 2011

Maybe texting while discovering cures for dinner. Daughter's birthday party rocked. I applaud your balls.

I concede. My wife and apocalypse share a print of evil. It still seems tense. OMG.

I think that every day doesn't begin with those scantily clad, no talking computer!

I lack a lack? In my head for economic recovery. We're buying a print of the word Like.
posted by perhapses at 2:02 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Adorable adorable adorable adorable adorable adorable adorable adorable adorable adorable adorable.

Yes, their first suggestion was the word adorable 11 times.
posted by troika at 2:03 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Evening; Oppenheimer - Houellebecq ; and Sign this case the utter ridiculosity in a Senator, from ten

Oh, I really like this.
posted by jivadravya at 2:08 PM on April 12, 2011

Whoever said time is full of cake... 4 hours.

Psychotropic meds are delicious.

Waiting for leftovers. So, it's possible I've been fighting depression all these years because of it?

See and wondering if it's the length of win. All my head against a natural optimist.

Weirded out.

Clearly I am not well.
posted by zennie at 2:13 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Okay, I'm totally addicted to this thing: Harfle mafarfalle idea nifty really a party no to self: no to self: no context my moodometer a CT scan.
posted by jivadravya at 2:13 PM on April 12, 2011

Just read through the reliability of the port tavern- got a problem with heat, food, cots, Red Cross.

And to think I was just eating there last week. (shudders)
posted by jenkinsEar at 2:14 PM on April 12, 2011

We are being archived as opposed to start having a worthy goal.
posted by John Cohen at 2:16 PM on April 12, 2011

Metafilter: We are being archived as opposed to start having a worthy goal.
posted by John Cohen at 2:16 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

This one is totally deep: Livestream on my numb face and Seattle in bricks, since Dec. 12. Feels good.

Bromantic blood donation: Reading those tantalizing bimodal distribution hypotheses. I donate blood, the bromance. Mmm.

The best: Fixing a thermometer that Ray Bradbury short story about it. Today, I get my own dreams!
posted by mandanza at 2:16 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

These are like Nietzschean aphorisms:

Going to try to get more limits on the life were negated by destroying the point in the hopes of a lack?

A real human history: we're constantly inventing new script based on the same crossing!

My right armpit stinks but my life, this foul odor, I'll take it. In a Celebratory Annual.

Is there a new War apocalyptic thought. Hey, you listened to protest the machines busy, but I'm pretty?

My favorite so far:

Going to celebrate International Burn a squirrel chewing on science denial as baby diapers?
posted by perhapses at 2:17 PM on April 12, 2011

I need to stop:

Stupid internet. stupid me! Totally blows - snow days For the B61 is me: christ himself farted technology.
posted by jivadravya at 2:17 PM on April 12, 2011 [5 favorites]

Texting plans are building yet anther hospital - Boing Boing Boing Boing Boing Gettyburg Address, 2011?
posted by pjern at 2:18 PM on April 12, 2011

Netflix Weekend The Comics Curmudgeon. The evidence shows Proposition 8 violates the Blue Cross Blue.

Wherein I used to be uninsured yet again because of Briney or Christina as much as well not exactly a?

Finally Friends in 2010, even if you're telling me feel better. Also wtf did I cannot imagine a PITA to!

Are locations measurable in new apartment Who Says Showbiz is feeling itchy all the only am listening to.


Apparently, my Twitter account is the dadaist version of Perez Hilton meets Talking Points Memo (plus a little bit of Metafilter)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:25 PM on April 12, 2011

This pickled jalapeno may have to compare scars with a clump of improvisational hair for A MANWICH.
posted by troika at 2:28 PM on April 12, 2011 [3 favorites]

Taco Bell Beef Ingredient FAQ - Im going to your Mac. Its based on Chromium, apparently. Cool.
posted by kryptondog at 2:28 PM on April 12, 2011

This got me:

Slavoj Zizek: Every miracle proves that there's no word on his whereabouts or well-being.
posted by klue at 2:32 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Should Maine's Environmental Legacy: Funny, doesn't apply, should be doomed.

Yep.
posted by Vectorcon Systems at 2:35 PM on April 12, 2011

OMG. That is far, far less creepy. I need to donate: Thanks for hiding the ass. poll: Do you learn.

Yep. Thanks for hiding the ass indeed.
posted by Kimberly at 2:37 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I also heard that everyone else is me, I'm addicted. A fish nabbed a vasectomy today.

At the Koran burning. I will expire tomorrow. Never did anything with those drippings.

I'm pretty sure that was a 33.3 rpm single called The line is an Internet argument, you know who plays.

A culture whose myths glorify the vibrations are amplified acoustically or so ejaculations.
posted by perhapses at 2:38 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Woah! Beethoven's 5th symphony was it! I'm so jealous! Hope it's worth the help!

Exclamation!
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:45 PM on April 12, 2011

Good morning! A whole life!

Aw. That's pretty accurate. :)
posted by functionequalsform at 2:50 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh no, that's the Pirates of unsaved progress, lost. Unhappy me. Watching chick flicks with my iPhone?
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:50 PM on April 12, 2011

Only 1800 words to crotch-kick people on my phone in your fingers crossed.

I've often wished for at least 3000 words to crotch-kick people.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:54 PM on April 12, 2011

~ Feeling tender. doc wants a long day to deductible. Daughter may have an MRI of chainsaws, off the 4!
posted by Thorzdad at 2:55 PM on April 12, 2011

Meat Loaf is the Truth Booth with whatever it is. Dear Lord. Poor sods peeling bananas for Indonesia!

I contain multitudes.
posted by flippant at 2:55 PM on April 12, 2011 [5 favorites]

When you were writing a soapbox. She's not electable nationally. Not not not.

Heh. The subject in the original tweet was Haley Barbour, who isn't a she, but I guess he sounds like one.
posted by ambrosia at 2:59 PM on April 12, 2011

Phwoarrrr! Woman sitting near two weeks. Yayyyy! =P Dear doctor's clinic receptionist: If you really?

This just makes me sound like some kind of aphasic British pervert.

I'm forty today. Get some actual product.

Indeed.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:02 PM on April 12, 2011

I'll be elected president in bed with six geese a-laying. I'm standing at stoplight.

Researchers recently discovered that I applaud your monthly email from Facebook.
posted by perhapses at 3:03 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was sort of us... One of us... One of us... Death Anxiety Shapes Views on MeFi, but thought better of.

Dude, just... give... me... the... fix! Argh! Cinemas Greatest Sex Mystery: Solved Imagine That: Duke!

Zombie Haiku Blog: Police Squad Epilogues Braiiiins-- I think that's really depressing. Cool.

The word "braiiiins" shows up with alarming the expected regularity.
posted by brundlefly at 3:04 PM on April 12, 2011

flippant: "Meat Loaf is the Truth Booth"

This needs to be a sockpuppet name.
posted by brundlefly at 3:05 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Weekend Recommendation: You might think stripper-whores are inferior to...


God, I wish I knew how my Twitter account was going to end that thought.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:13 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

random crap....

wait, i'm gonna tweet that!
posted by tomswift at 3:15 PM on April 12, 2011

Holy shit, that's deep.

Nihilism and apocalypse share a phonograph playing a jukebox but w/o headphones.
posted by perhapses at 3:16 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

My Little Pony for Sunshine Cafe in River North during fieldwork in annoyance.
posted by LMGM at 3:18 PM on April 12, 2011

Bedazzled vajayjay is fat fucking tuesday and get to Big Chicks. on the closest thing to get to all?

Yemeni honey!!!1! I was the hyper-privileged suburbs, rather than the American Cities seminar.

ORD, T1, continental baggage claim. The cancer episode, right? oh F yes.

I have a TRAVESTY. crazy angry guy rant, part 1 Fuck yeah, my biscuit ME TOO. I'm trying to L2O.

Dear Restaurant Website Developers: NO CONFIDENCE VOTE IN LIBYA. Celebration on Google search Dear!

Fuck yeah, my swarthiness definitely came in handy less for panel-hopping.


OK, I'll stop now. This could go on forever.
posted by LMGM at 3:22 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

That's a clock app makes it that the skinheads bowling. take my MeFi t-shirt in 2012.

What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????
posted by eyeballkid at 3:24 PM on April 12, 2011

"Everyone needs a day crying about anything. Shut up today, but I have? RIP Dwayne McDuffie."

Poetry
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:25 PM on April 12, 2011

Explaining why I'm at the multiverse Phil Collins drums and EFF! Awesome watching local news...

Oh. It means that Phil Collin's drums are in the multiverse.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:25 PM on April 12, 2011

Let's see it out! Quarter Life Freak Out - might be more entertaining. I'm even though I'm going down to?

Good to see that my future self will be self-promoting my blog.
posted by SNWidget at 3:31 PM on April 12, 2011

Irregardless. IRREGARDLESS! Irregardless? I just got a seriously intense thunderstorm.

Apparently somebody collided with a dependable train? Looks like the Catholic Church. What IS NOT FALL.

Addendum: The radio is utterly deserted. *checks* Ah yes, it's now by and feeling better already!

Everybody Wang Chung tonight! Gonna have that slid into your family in my drink of November, the world in.

Apparently spambots have a natural heartburn remedy. I'm at all. Suddenly the station.

Remember to resize the incongruity? Remember those of the ground. Not utopian at all!

I'm done now, thoroughly convinced that my Markovian alter-tweego is smarter and cleverer than I.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 3:32 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

Most of mine are from links I found, but I did get: "Hmm... I signed up for the $40b of the stimulus as various drugs"
posted by delmoi at 3:35 PM on April 12, 2011

Here's what I got when I did charliesheencharliesheen
posted by delmoi at 3:42 PM on April 12, 2011

I couldn't be the self checkouts in the ASBO Chav of drat! Crikey gosh just ate a pair of the Joel?
posted by hnnrs at 3:51 PM on April 12, 2011

I prefer the little man inflating balloons in the iPad is real. Jesus is real. Jesus is Prada.

I think MarkovMe is trying to start a cult.
posted by Freon at 4:00 PM on April 12, 2011 [4 favorites]

Predictions:
Come 2019, we'll break it. No Name is involved. There was living. No more films.

When I recalled all goes well, I wasn't living in 2032. I keep tapping my life, this week is involved.

Ouch:
The St. Pauli Girl now and I had a vasectomy today. Still not yet even a rectal exam.

Thanks for miniature donkeys. My right shin hurts from Kung-Fu fighting. Be careful.

Fellini:
Riding the tooth fairy. I can't think that Marcello Mastroianni does. You must have locks shorn.
posted by perhapses at 4:10 PM on April 12, 2011

Wow, this tool is even aware of Rebecca Black:

OH she's big and there's nothing on every page? awesome track Its April, April, April, April, April?
posted by localhuman at 4:28 PM on April 12, 2011

To avoid e coli, be my olfactories, and public hair. He was easily be pulled from school with herself!

Hot.
posted by tumid dahlia at 4:32 PM on April 12, 2011

After 4 days until I was chasing me. One by Spam Monster. Either way, cool.
posted by NorthernLite at 4:40 PM on April 12, 2011

At Moroccan restaurant. Just Not Right being in here in my head. I could be expensive when they gave me!
posted by Because at 4:49 PM on April 12, 2011

Whoa! The unfairness of the coyotes singing outside my whole vacation is misfiring.

Not sure what it means, but it surely does sound like something I'd say.
posted by quin at 4:53 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sarkozy's autocratic and Greece downgraded to undermine France's democratic traditions, says about you!

Jesus, think I ought to delete my Twitter account.
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 4:59 PM on April 12, 2011

Salutes I promise. But you having a disembodied mannequin head. With a song just exploitation of.

Hold onto an Aliens can't get enough of Jareth, the crotch & I'll happily upend the other films.

You have a couple of Australia! Gobsmacked. Have you did! I think the glitter.

Zuni fetish doll. It saddens me with 3600 sounds absurd, but Thirst is my email address!

Your friend or the flying fox? Getting eaten by a bunch of marzipan, which case, I'm the post-Office!

That seems about right.
posted by hot soup girl at 4:59 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's also just occurred to me that this is where Mark E. Smith gets his lyrics.

Listened to congratulate you behind your fake Hitler 'tache in Kennington!
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 5:11 PM on April 12, 2011

AAAAAHH!!

Well, that's me in a nutshell.
posted by EmGeeJay at 5:26 PM on April 12, 2011

So really: What's your deal? -would you, please? Mario Paint version of twitter-following. Still creepy.
posted by santaslittlehelper at 5:46 PM on April 12, 2011

After punching that button about twenty or thirty or forty times, I now present you with my new poem, I Just Exploitation of Ringo Starr’s Face.

Hmm. I think I need to go do something else for a while.
posted by hot soup girl at 5:51 PM on April 12, 2011

Do we have something like this for Metafilter comments?
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:54 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

My 11 year old hipster son. No, I visit when I got rear-ended. Yamaha was in my wife, who replied BUTTER.

H-okay
posted by randomkeystrike at 6:12 PM on April 12, 2011

I put lipstick and renewing my own vomit from Menard's and I'm all, IT'S ABOVE FREEZING, I'LL BE FINE
posted by desjardins at 6:14 PM on April 12, 2011 [2 favorites]

I feel like quitting Twitter now, because I could never top that.
posted by desjardins at 6:15 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

OMG this should be called StrokeTweeter because I posted my tweets without the website tagline and ppl were asking me if I was having a stroke LOL
posted by 1000monkeys at 6:16 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am going to post some on FB to really fuck with people. They don't know I have a Twitter account.
posted by desjardins at 6:19 PM on April 12, 2011

The future is slow chanting too, actually. This week's covergirl has been called 珍妙蘭医端山.

Sumo tickets bought for his Aso, shurely? Torn about Paul Bunyan (US) and cola is pretty good.

Upside of your 20th-C. lit program is "graduating" from pro wrestling to Moiré artifacts. OH SNAP!

(Damn, Markov-me, that's cold.)
posted by No-sword at 6:34 PM on April 12, 2011

I'll try it! ♫ All the office. unicode Dear everyone: if that's like a *hydrogen* explosion.

New favorite site. I honestly can't get enough of Markov-chaining word salad generators. They're too funny.
posted by spitefulcrow at 6:44 PM on April 12, 2011

Pfff. I am SO winning the Metafilter thread is stiking around, yay! It's still cold out, go shopping.

So close to relevent!
posted by maryr at 6:51 PM on April 12, 2011

Mostly nonsense, but then:

Sexuality & rebirth. But The war on us. Gvt shrugs bc $$$ makes more effective way to Anti-Gay Causes!

&when 2 lovers woo They still say people run screaming and the windows shut at Everybody But yeah.
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 6:59 PM on April 12, 2011

William Gibson:

Your taste in older kids but fine as a gradual apprehension of terrorist acts.

Reports of realism. ...get his blood changed in London Deadzilla's I'm low on ectoplasm after the.

Trump's job in particular? Did you start noticing gutta percha, it's everywhere! EXTREME ice fishing Mars.

A Drug Called Charlie Seeing Hanna as Spitalfields nippers grew up to keep track of something.

Kinda makes me wish I posted to twitter more. I wonder how many tweets thing actually uses...
posted by delmoi at 7:08 PM on April 12, 2011

Danced with the sea, eating fried pastries with tamarind and I'm damn lucky for a corporate pedometer!
posted by Nothing at 7:13 PM on April 12, 2011

This thread makes me reconsider not having twitter. Thanks for making me laugh 'til my cheeks hurt, MeFis.
posted by notashroom at 7:30 PM on April 12, 2011

So glad to take your playground, Mr Spider, why choose the valley and oranges exploding through lunch?

It's rare that absurdist fiction writing is my to-do list. Secretly hoping list will never get old.

I kinda love this.
posted by vespertine at 7:39 PM on April 12, 2011

I posted a source for your website - - interestingly, the link was really depressing.

So we ran it ourselves. Well that chocolate weetabix is a psychiatric hospital.

Unpaid internships, when backing up ipod data for an amazingly exciting thing for CDs.

Great salt beef sandwiches though. NB - I don't want to constantly turn up asking.

Dear websites that chocolate weetabix is brilliant: Shame on page considered unprofessional for making me.

Really brilliant essay on one more joke than it is, especially if you play at the latest - input hangs on?

I should probably stop now.
posted by motty at 7:51 PM on April 12, 2011

There's something darkly amusing about fluoride-free Japanese toothpaste is a superior to thundersnow.

Just saw the Beatles remix album Love". AWESOME. — How nuclear disaster for about corporate America?

Warning US at least — Buh? These are lining up information on Facebook to find out. Sweet, still hot?

The white masks people old enough to light. I was a crackpot publication by candlelight on the bar even. [shades of Snagglepuss there]
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:20 PM on April 12, 2011

Oh man, I hate to double-post, but:

Found a cup of Why do Birds Suddenly Appear. Tinfoil and aerosol cheese, when republican congressmen quit.
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:21 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I hate triple-posting even more, but this one actually contains its own reaction:

Plus you heard about that makes it isn't another country's version of the ceiling lamp! Wait, buh, what?
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:22 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love how Greg Nog's twitter account goes from "illierate YouTube commenter" to "Time Cube" to "guy with unkempt beard in dirty undershirt, yelling at traffic"
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:32 PM on April 12, 2011

Whoa, I knit a trial version of forget to vote. No lie, it's like a fiasco.
posted by mere at 8:33 PM on April 12, 2011

Mine:

Your daily WTF moments. Goldman Sachs tops list of religious extremism? ఒకటి కాకుండా ఇంకోటి అవచ్చు. (Translation: It can be one without the other. )

Two responses:
1) It's doing it multi-lingual, and grammatically correct in both languages! RUHHHHSPEKKK.
2) It also encapsulates my thoughts exactly. Goldman Sachs does top (my) lists of religious extremism, and yes, it was a WTF moment when I finally realized that all this gung-ho free-trade nonsense was a form of religion extremism fostered by people who are as blind to its effects as any other forms.
posted by the cydonian at 8:36 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

But these days nerds can see you cry. Says this video.

PLEASE, people come to me to be UNTHINKABLE to the daylight. It helps me a word and I'm staring at least!

Hopefully we have a spotter saw a fancier name. It's a comic book superhero who responds to empathize.

This system in my name one of you This system visited my husband. I believe, officially BROKEN.

I've been getting lately where he has been getting lately where the damage and glorious mystery.

My work plans for the night are ruined. Ruined, I tell you.
posted by BlueJae at 8:36 PM on April 12, 2011

CONFIRMED: Red Cross donations available at least, through the ceiling lamp! Wait, buh, what?

I CAN TASTE THE SUN
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:42 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

...what? Wow... Slumber Party Barbie of 1965 came with a baby-faced Matt Damon!
posted by cozenedindigo at 9:09 PM on April 12, 2011 [1 favorite]

Going to my heart : 403 Forbidden error.

Best 51 hours of flirting with goodies I would pursue me. Guess she didn't understand the way in getting?

...I can't stopppp! spent the business of flirting with razor sharp talons.

Toes in front of Dutch diplomats?? I've ever seen! Gotta be content. realizing I adore my ability to go.

First post from prison. being an ocean I want my new week is about the morning. A new beginnings. (WTF? I have never been in prison...)
posted by hasna at 9:58 PM on April 12, 2011

So I am not surprised that it may perhaps too sober for a metafilter thread. (HA!)
posted by hasna at 10:00 PM on April 12, 2011

J-lo i want a tattoo of the year, and will become so much good energy from me? - why to work.

but so so much better-

THAT MEANS YOU+ME+BOOZE TOMORROW NIGHT.
posted by jaksemas at 10:41 PM on April 12, 2011

Best. tweet. evar! ok?

A little too prescient?
posted by Space Kitty at 12:45 AM on April 13, 2011

HFS - how did I nominate for opening HIS stuff. Opposable thumbs ftw! In transit with a blast!
posted by Space Kitty at 12:47 AM on April 13, 2011

Poetry:

I'm no Santa level random. Pho and approving of the floor? Dear neighbor.
posted by Space Kitty at 12:48 AM on April 13, 2011

Audio: I gotta full-blown case of the GOP censor gay art - Disco mix. D-S-I-C-O! D-S-I-C-O!
posted by mrgrimm at 7:37 AM on April 13, 2011

Accurate:
Mostly vegetarian Ethiopian restaurant coming to bed of emails in the spin cycle on tv in my god TurboTax?

Kind of disturbing:
My gpa told his dr. can see from multiple little girls' braids or cheese-textured, just a million points?

On ... reproduction??:
I had washed and then the past two days. This is undiminished. After a baby and throbby and have seeds!

On health care?:
Sore throat, I lived in our country's health problems... Comment on your head!

It is important to have an invite:
FIVE FAMILY MEMBER MEGA SLEEPOVER AT MY HOUSE AHOY re: dead cat to work! With an invite.
posted by little cow make small moo at 9:27 AM on April 13, 2011

Slide along the downward vector. locate the ache we share. every day, just as liquid.

Holy shit, Markov poetry is banging.
posted by Errant at 12:12 PM on April 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

Is getting coffee around here. carrot oat muffins! and pop water balloons with Jarrett.

I don't recall ever tweeting about water balloons, but okay.
posted by cp311 at 12:23 PM on April 13, 2011

Ocho meses felices hoy hey, you become a strike! Peck, Gregory, peck! Old man wearing It's Not The Jedi?

So a movie and coffee then going to get coffee around here. thinks the weekend with your butt.

is at the weather were this great day for English.

Internet officially not be three-dimensional. is enjoying a bit tired of the ethernet cable later.

Four hours of tea.

Maybe a pirate! This eye patch is tired, about to drop Biology for breakfast!



My biography, for sure.
posted by cp311 at 12:31 PM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

The repulsive self-satisfaction of my stride in this thing is building something that is what you don't!

Spot on.
posted by AndNeverWell at 1:32 PM on April 13, 2011

Idea: Game where you are fighting a comprehensive API? Perhaps in daffodils.

Terry Wogan has the correct place. Each shape is to be called Paul. Sometimes strangers say thanks pal.

Overheard quote of the bus stop: you are beautiful, but no one ever laughs.
posted by Nossidge at 2:56 PM on April 13, 2011

> friends using Latitude app w/o your permission are especially worried about the Time Travel. Data plot or it didn't happen.

Impressive.
posted by Forest Mars at 4:45 PM on April 13, 2011

"Last night, a gibbering wreck by South Park Mexican. Sad songs are great, but dipshits."

Eerie.
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:51 PM on April 14, 2011

Hahaha, some of mine have been hilarious. I like:

On my refusal to imagine, Clintons?! Seriously, I could you might be less chuckle-worthy.

and

OK, Hallmark.com gets a mosquito... Not a particularly serious one, but don't make me cake.

They kind of make me just sound drunk...
posted by badmoonrising at 8:09 AM on April 16, 2011