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Vicarious hirsutedness
April 13, 2011 7:04 AM   Subscribe

Whiskerino is no more, Goatee Groundhog Day has come and gone and Moustache May is still a few weeks off. Whose fecund, feral, facial hair can sustain us in the meantime? None other than Brian Wilson, closing pitcher of the San Francisco Giants, and his virtual beard. Touch it!
posted by mostlymuppet (24 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
Baseball is for amateur beard connoisseurs. Need a facial hair fix? You're in luck as it's the beginning of prime NHL playoff beard season!
posted by ghharr at 7:11 AM on April 13, 2011 [4 favorites]


fecund? oh my
posted by caddis at 7:13 AM on April 13, 2011


@caddis, I was just going for some alliteration. I should've had my coffee first.
posted by mostlymuppet at 7:17 AM on April 13, 2011


You left out Movember.
posted by zamboni at 7:17 AM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Somewhat related self-link: How to Grow a Moustache
posted by Legomancer at 7:18 AM on April 13, 2011


@zamboni, thanks for the reminder. I knew I'd forget something.
posted by mostlymuppet at 7:19 AM on April 13, 2011


He has multitudes of tiny people in his beard.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:22 AM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


Click to zoom in for "Bob Ross." Follicle-tacular.

Go Giants.
posted by chavenet at 7:26 AM on April 13, 2011


Burhanistan: "He has multitudes of tiny people in his beard"

Those are skin mites; we all have them. Aren't yours trained?
posted by theredpen at 8:07 AM on April 13, 2011


I love that these seem to be custom-made skits, unless there just happens to be a lot of random stock footage of people doing odd things around giant follicles of hair. I definitely chuckled at some of them, especially the ninja-related ones (apparently I find ninjas funny. I learn something about myself every day.)
posted by This Guy at 8:14 AM on April 13, 2011


Brian Wilsons are good at bearding.
posted by overeducated_alligator at 8:22 AM on April 13, 2011


I rather like how his beard looks in this dead-on shot. (Something about those eyes and cheekbones, I suspect.) When I see Wilson actually during a ballgame, however, his beard looks oddly fake, which I know is the result of the dye job, but it still looks like something an SNL cast member would apply quickly during the commercial break.

Still... beardiness. I approve. Thanks for posting.
posted by hippybear at 8:24 AM on April 13, 2011


fecund? oh my

To be fair, as a word choice, it's miles better than fecal facial hair....
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:28 AM on April 13, 2011


it's the beginning of prime NHL playoff beard season!

I don't necessarily lose respect for any man who doesn't grow a playoff beard. Some people, for example, already have beards.
posted by Copronymus at 8:31 AM on April 13, 2011


More faithfully phrased, his follicles are fortunately fecund.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:32 AM on April 13, 2011


Sadly, Brett Keisel shaved off his homeless-guy beard.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:39 AM on April 13, 2011


weird. i cant see it on my version of Firefox. had to open chrome and now i am totally disgusted by his beard and the attempt at folicular humor :P
posted by liza at 8:55 AM on April 13, 2011


Fear the Beard!
posted by gingerbeer at 9:00 AM on April 13, 2011


> He has multitudes of tiny people in his beard

Tiny lightin'
In the storm
Tiny blankets
Keep you warm
Tiny pillows
Tiny tiny tiny tiny sheets
Talkin' bout them tiny cookies
That the peoples eats
posted by jfuller at 9:10 AM on April 13, 2011 [2 favorites]


To be fair, as a word choice, it's miles better than fecal facial hair....

I first read this post as "Goatse Groundhog Day."

The image that presents is beyond words.
posted by fungible at 9:22 AM on April 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


@liza, sorry about that. :-(
posted by mostlymuppet at 9:34 AM on April 13, 2011


mlb.com videos have never worked for me with Firefox < 4.0.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:28 AM on April 13, 2011


I am having fun playing with a virtual beard while I twist my invisible fu manchu!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:35 PM on April 13, 2011


@mostlymuppet

LOL the flash is good; it's just that i live in NYC and the site of critters moving in his beard made me think of lice and bed-bugs :D
posted by liza at 4:27 PM on April 13, 2011


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