It happens
April 19, 2011 12:48 PM Subscribe
The Tao of Poo We can exhaustively explore every aspect of athletic life -- victory, defeat, violence, racism, drugs, brain damage, paralysis, death -- but nothing reveals as much about the physiology, psychology and sociology of sport as the excretory experience of athletes.
Just Poo It.
posted by George Clooney at 12:57 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by George Clooney at 12:57 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh George.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:58 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by shakespeherian at 12:58 PM on April 19, 2011
When I started working out really hard, I was startled to discover that magical gut clenching churn that hits you when you hit that special peak of exertion.
Nobody talks about that. Apparently "they" make fun of you if you talk about wanting to poop your pants during a work out. ;)
posted by Stagger Lee at 12:59 PM on April 19, 2011
Nobody talks about that. Apparently "they" make fun of you if you talk about wanting to poop your pants during a work out. ;)
posted by Stagger Lee at 12:59 PM on April 19, 2011
This is a pretty shitty article.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:00 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by entropicamericana at 1:00 PM on April 19, 2011
I felt bad for the lady at the Boston marathon yesterday who had pooped herself, but you have to sort of admire the courage to just keep running.
Me, I would stop.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:02 PM on April 19, 2011
Me, I would stop.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:02 PM on April 19, 2011
2 Girls, World Cup
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]
I like to read when I poo, which would be difficult while running, so I do not run.
posted by everichon at 1:09 PM on April 19, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by everichon at 1:09 PM on April 19, 2011 [6 favorites]
That was an amazingly fascinating article. I remember in Wayne Gretzky's biography he wrote about the time he wet himself during the Canada Cup finals in 1987. He had played several shifts, as I recall, and his whole body just had nothing left.
posted by Calzephyr at 1:26 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by Calzephyr at 1:26 PM on April 19, 2011
Jesus pooped.
It didn't say that in the Bible, so I don't think it really happened.
posted by GuyZero at 1:35 PM on April 19, 2011
It didn't say that in the Bible, so I don't think it really happened.
posted by GuyZero at 1:35 PM on April 19, 2011
It didn't say that in the Bible, so I don't think it really happened.
He pinched off five loaves and two fishes.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:36 PM on April 19, 2011 [16 favorites]
He pinched off five loaves and two fishes.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:36 PM on April 19, 2011 [16 favorites]
And yet there was outrage about that mailman who went in the side yard . . . .
posted by MeiraV at 1:42 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by MeiraV at 1:42 PM on April 19, 2011
When I first saw this FPP I immediately thought of Professor Ozy Froats and his study of body types (including athletes) and body-type-numbers based on stool samples.
"You'll want to know, though, what this has to do with faeces. I just got a hunch, remembering Osler, that there might be variations in the composition, according to type, and that might be interesting. Because what people forget, or what they don't consider, is that the bowel movement is a real creation; everybody produces the stuff in an incidence that ranges within normality from three times a day to about once every ten days, with say, once every forty-eight hours as a men. There it is and it'd be damned funny if there was nothing individual or characteristic about it, and it might just be that it varied according to health. You know the old country saying: 'Every man's dung smells sweet in his own nose.' But no in anybody else's nose. It's a creation, a highly characteristic product. So let's get to work, I thought."
Oh, and since a certain deity has been mentioned...
"If Christ was really the Son of Man and assumed human flesh, you'd have thought he'd be a 444 , wouldn't you? A man who felt for everybody. But no -- a nervy thin type. Must have been tough, though; great walker, spell-binding orator, which takes strength, put up with a scourging and a lot of rough-house from soldiers; at least a three in the mesomorphic range."
--Robertson Davies, The Rebel Angels.
posted by sardonyx at 1:43 PM on April 19, 2011
"You'll want to know, though, what this has to do with faeces. I just got a hunch, remembering Osler, that there might be variations in the composition, according to type, and that might be interesting. Because what people forget, or what they don't consider, is that the bowel movement is a real creation; everybody produces the stuff in an incidence that ranges within normality from three times a day to about once every ten days, with say, once every forty-eight hours as a men. There it is and it'd be damned funny if there was nothing individual or characteristic about it, and it might just be that it varied according to health. You know the old country saying: 'Every man's dung smells sweet in his own nose.' But no in anybody else's nose. It's a creation, a highly characteristic product. So let's get to work, I thought."
Oh, and since a certain deity has been mentioned...
"If Christ was really the Son of Man and assumed human flesh, you'd have thought he'd be a 444 , wouldn't you? A man who felt for everybody. But no -- a nervy thin type. Must have been tough, though; great walker, spell-binding orator, which takes strength, put up with a scourging and a lot of rough-house from soldiers; at least a three in the mesomorphic range."
--Robertson Davies, The Rebel Angels.
posted by sardonyx at 1:43 PM on April 19, 2011
I remember a famous squash game where one of the participants puked mightily down the wall. Unfortunately I don't remember it well enough to say who that unfortunate four-walled gladiator was.
God, I miss playing squash.
posted by Decani at 1:59 PM on April 19, 2011
God, I miss playing squash.
posted by Decani at 1:59 PM on April 19, 2011
"You truly begin to get a sense of how influential sports are only when you realize it's one of the few activities where society's willing to override such strong feelings about defecation."
I always felt that with the Radcliffe incident mentioned in the article that people weren't so much putting their sense of social acceptability to one side, so much as they were completely unable to process the fact that a partially-revered national figure (and a lady too) was shitting in the street, and so in true British fashion we all pretended it simply wasn't happening, and hadn't happened, and we could all carry on as we were. (Partially revealed by the tv commentator's 'cramp' comments, I suppose).
posted by robself at 2:02 PM on April 19, 2011
I always felt that with the Radcliffe incident mentioned in the article that people weren't so much putting their sense of social acceptability to one side, so much as they were completely unable to process the fact that a partially-revered national figure (and a lady too) was shitting in the street, and so in true British fashion we all pretended it simply wasn't happening, and hadn't happened, and we could all carry on as we were. (Partially revealed by the tv commentator's 'cramp' comments, I suppose).
posted by robself at 2:02 PM on April 19, 2011
Wow, I knew blood shunts away from digestion when you exercise hardcore, but the ultramarathoner pushing himself so hard that his intestines are necrotising from lack of blood? WTF.
posted by yeloson at 2:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by yeloson at 2:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]
Sure, hal_c_on, but for all that you were still the #2 man in the class.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Wolfdog at 2:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Piss Christ in one thread, pooping atletes here..what it is it, Filth Day?
posted by jonmc at 2:14 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by jonmc at 2:14 PM on April 19, 2011
I really was expecting a post about this book: The Tao of Pooh
posted by fartknocker at 2:14 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by fartknocker at 2:14 PM on April 19, 2011
MetaFilter: its all about who the LAST person to poop in their pants was
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:17 PM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:17 PM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]
I am not a runner, but I used to play hacky sack. Badly. Anyway, this circle of acquaintances and I were kicking it and someone passed gas. Then the person next to him farted in reply. This eventually came around to me, and I, shall we say, overshat the mark.
Good times.
posted by everichon at 2:19 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Good times.
posted by everichon at 2:19 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Brown to the left of me, pee to my right, here I am: stuck in the middle of urine and poo?
posted by adipocere at 2:29 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by adipocere at 2:29 PM on April 19, 2011
Oh black water, keep on rolling
Mississippi moon won't you keep on shining on me ...
Don't even need to change the lyrics.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:38 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Mississippi moon won't you keep on shining on me ...
Don't even need to change the lyrics.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:38 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I was a fucking champ right there! NOBODY can take that moment away from me.
The kid got beat at chess by a kid who shit his pants. it's really hard to pick a winner in this situation.
posted by GuyZero at 3:10 PM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]
The kid got beat at chess by a kid who shit his pants. it's really hard to pick a winner in this situation.
posted by GuyZero at 3:10 PM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]
Jeez. Way to piss in the kid's Wheaties.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on April 19, 2011
Piss Christ in one thread, pooping atletes here..what it is it, Filth Day
Welcome to Metafilther: Best of the Wee
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:32 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Welcome to Metafilther: Best of the Wee
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:32 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Is NASCAR really so physically taxing that you might shit yourself?
I mean, long time in a car, performance jitters. I get it. But you don't heat stories of Angela Lansbury shitting herself at the opening of Anyone Can Whistle.
posted by munchingzombie at 5:01 PM on April 19, 2011
I mean, long time in a car, performance jitters. I get it. But you don't heat stories of Angela Lansbury shitting herself at the opening of Anyone Can Whistle.
posted by munchingzombie at 5:01 PM on April 19, 2011
munchingzombie: Is NASCAR really so physically taxing that you might shit yourself?
Maybe he was on a Persimmon Diet.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 5:32 PM on April 19, 2011
Maybe he was on a Persimmon Diet.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 5:32 PM on April 19, 2011
Is NASCAR really so physically taxing that you might shit yourself?
Must be. I got pulled over once for driving 85 in a 60 (and other assorted infractions), and the Statie leans down into my open window and screams, "You have got to be shitting me!!!" So, I guess kind of a thing.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:37 PM on April 19, 2011
Must be. I got pulled over once for driving 85 in a 60 (and other assorted infractions), and the Statie leans down into my open window and screams, "You have got to be shitting me!!!" So, I guess kind of a thing.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:37 PM on April 19, 2011
My God, have you ever driven even a go-kart in anger? It's one of the most physically taxing things you will ever do. I've ridden one of the toughest mountain bike trails there is (rated 11/10 for exposure, exertion, technical challege, every metric) and it was NOTHING compared to three hours of full-on Go-Kart racing. Seriously.
posted by unSane at 6:44 PM on April 19, 2011
posted by unSane at 6:44 PM on April 19, 2011
I'm not a huge fan of NASCAR, but I do know it is one of the most physically demanding sports - high temperatures in the car, a constant grip on the wheel, g-forces, etc. I've heard it's not unusual to lose several pounds during a race.
But I thought they were talking about sweat, not poop.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:55 PM on April 19, 2011
But I thought they were talking about sweat, not poop.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:55 PM on April 19, 2011
It wasn't just a chess game I won.
"That chess player? He knows his shit. Don't fuck with him."
posted by yeloson at 9:48 PM on April 19, 2011
"That chess player? He knows his shit. Don't fuck with him."
posted by yeloson at 9:48 PM on April 19, 2011
I made sure to keet a roll of TP in my soccer bag. HS lunch was at 12:30, practice/games started at 2:30-3. Just do the math.
Interesting ones were late fall when I couldn't find a stall and the foliage wasn't as dense.
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 6:08 AM on April 20, 2011
Interesting ones were late fall when I couldn't find a stall and the foliage wasn't as dense.
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 6:08 AM on April 20, 2011
There was something I was gonna do in this thread, but, you know, uh ... never mind.
posted by eritain at 5:59 PM on April 20, 2011
posted by eritain at 5:59 PM on April 20, 2011
Everyone Poops.
And in my office building, they all do it at 2 PM.
posted by GuyZero at 6:50 PM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
And in my office building, they all do it at 2 PM.
posted by GuyZero at 6:50 PM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
I was just going to link to the Bristol Stool Scale, but that would be thread-shitting. Try this not-very-ancient MeFi thread instead. Bring your own paper!
posted by sneebler at 7:47 PM on April 20, 2011
posted by sneebler at 7:47 PM on April 20, 2011
Hey what's wrong with other peoples poop anyway? People have it transplanted to make themselves feel better. Seriously.
posted by oyddodat at 1:40 AM on April 25, 2011
posted by oyddodat at 1:40 AM on April 25, 2011
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posted by mrzer0 at 12:56 PM on April 19, 2011