It happens

April 19, 2011 12:48 PM

The Tao of Poo We can exhaustively ­explore every aspect of athletic life -- victory, defeat, violence, racism, drugs, brain damage, paralysis, death -- but nothing reveals as much about the physiology, psychology and sociology of sport as the excretory experience of athletes.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero (48 comments total)

""I'm good about twice a year for that. " - George Brett (semi-related, and recently on Devour): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6hu4aLXv7U
posted by mrzer0 at 12:56 PM on April 19, 2011

Just Poo It.
posted by George Clooney at 12:57 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh George.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:58 PM on April 19, 2011

When I started working out really hard, I was startled to discover that magical gut clenching churn that hits you when you hit that special peak of exertion.

Nobody talks about that. Apparently "they" make fun of you if you talk about wanting to poop your pants during a work out. ;)
posted by Stagger Lee at 12:59 PM on April 19, 2011

This is a pretty shitty article.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:00 PM on April 19, 2011

sigh. of course, I meant to link it.
posted by mrzer0 at 1:01 PM on April 19, 2011

I felt bad for the lady at the Boston marathon yesterday who had pooped herself, but you have to sort of admire the courage to just keep running.

Me, I would stop.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:02 PM on April 19, 2011

World Cup pooping.
posted by Chrysostom at 1:04 PM on April 19, 2011

2 Girls, World Cup
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [7 favorites]

I like to read when I poo, which would be difficult while running, so I do not run.
posted by everichon at 1:09 PM on April 19, 2011 [6 favorites]

And they laughed at Freud.
posted by Burhanistan at 1:12 PM on April 19, 2011

That was an amazingly fascinating article. I remember in Wayne Gretzky's biography he wrote about the time he wet himself during the Canada Cup finals in 1987. He had played several shifts, as I recall, and his whole body just had nothing left.
posted by Calzephyr at 1:26 PM on April 19, 2011

Jesus pooped.

It didn't say that in the Bible, so I don't think it really happened.
posted by GuyZero at 1:35 PM on April 19, 2011

It didn't say that in the Bible, so I don't think it really happened.

He pinched off five loaves and two fishes.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:36 PM on April 19, 2011 [16 favorites]

And yet there was outrage about that mailman who went in the side yard . . . .
posted by MeiraV at 1:42 PM on April 19, 2011

When I first saw this FPP I immediately thought of Professor Ozy Froats and his study of body types (including athletes) and body-type-numbers based on stool samples.

"You'll want to know, though, what this has to do with faeces. I just got a hunch, remembering Osler, that there might be variations in the composition, according to type, and that might be interesting. Because what people forget, or what they don't consider, is that the bowel movement is a real creation; everybody produces the stuff in an incidence that ranges within normality from three times a day to about once every ten days, with say, once every forty-eight hours as a men. There it is and it'd be damned funny if there was nothing individual or characteristic about it, and it might just be that it varied according to health. You know the old country saying: 'Every man's dung smells sweet in his own nose.' But no in anybody else's nose. It's a creation, a highly characteristic product. So let's get to work, I thought."


Oh, and since a certain deity has been mentioned...

"If Christ was really the Son of Man and assumed human flesh, you'd have thought he'd be a 444 , wouldn't you? A man who felt for everybody. But no -- a nervy thin type. Must have been tough, though; great walker, spell-binding orator, which takes strength, put up with a scourging and a lot of rough-house from soldiers; at least a three in the mesomorphic range."
--Robertson Davies, The Rebel Angels.
posted by sardonyx at 1:43 PM on April 19, 2011

In 4th grade we had a chess set at our primary school. I was good, but still #2 in our class.

One day, while I was playing against #1, I had to go REALLY REALLY REALLY bad.

But I also had his queen, and the board looked less like a challenge and more of a snack tray to me. I knew where I could gobble up all his pieces. And dude was pissed that he lost his queen so early in the game.

So I continued on...and then I started shitting. A lot. I mean so much, that it wasn't even fart jokes anymore, it was "brown pants" jokes.

I didn't care. I was in the zone. I won that fucking game. He didn't take my queen, any rook or bishop. I kicked that motherfucking 4th grader's ass.

So yeah, us athletes know how to persevere.

Oh, and yeah...I got made fun of. But when HE made fun of me, I just summed up the chess game. He cried.

I was a fucking champ right there! NOBODY can take that moment away from me.
posted by hal_c_on at 1:57 PM on April 19, 2011 [6 favorites]

I remember a famous squash game where one of the participants puked mightily down the wall. Unfortunately I don't remember it well enough to say who that unfortunate four-walled gladiator was.

God, I miss playing squash.
posted by Decani at 1:59 PM on April 19, 2011

"You truly begin to get a sense of how influential sports are only when you realize it's one of the few activities where society's willing to override such strong feelings about defecation."

I always felt that with the Radcliffe incident mentioned in the article that people weren't so much putting their sense of social acceptability to one side, so much as they were completely unable to process the fact that a partially-revered national figure (and a lady too) was shitting in the street, and so in true British fashion we all pretended it simply wasn't happening, and hadn't happened, and we could all carry on as we were. (Partially revealed by the tv commentator's 'cramp' comments, I suppose).
posted by robself at 2:02 PM on April 19, 2011

Wow, I knew blood shunts away from digestion when you exercise hardcore, but the ultramarathoner pushing himself so hard that his intestines are necrotising from lack of blood? WTF.
posted by yeloson at 2:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

Sure, hal_c_on, but for all that you were still the #2 man in the class.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:06 PM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Sure, hal_c_on, but for all that you were still the #2 man in the class.

I was...until about 2 weeks later when someone krapped their pants in gym. 4th grade pecking order has nothing to do with who poops in their pants...its all about who the LAST person to poop in their pants was.

Thanks again for getting me out of that jam, Gary.
posted by hal_c_on at 2:14 PM on April 19, 2011 [4 favorites]

Piss Christ in one thread, pooping atletes here..what it is it, Filth Day?
posted by jonmc at 2:14 PM on April 19, 2011

I really was expecting a post about this book: The Tao of Pooh
posted by fartknocker at 2:14 PM on April 19, 2011

MetaFilter: its all about who the LAST person to poop in their pants was
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:17 PM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

I am not a runner, but I used to play hacky sack. Badly. Anyway, this circle of acquaintances and I were kicking it and someone passed gas. Then the person next to him farted in reply. This eventually came around to me, and I, shall we say, overshat the mark.

Good times.
posted by everichon at 2:19 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

> Piss Christ in one thread, pooping atletes here..what it is it, Filth Day

There's a Stealers Wheel song remake in there somewhere.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:20 PM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

Brown to the left of me, pee to my right, here I am: stuck in the middle of urine and poo?
posted by adipocere at 2:29 PM on April 19, 2011

That'll doo.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:33 PM on April 19, 2011

Oh black water, keep on rolling
Mississippi moon won't you keep on shining on me ...

Don't even need to change the lyrics.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:38 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was a fucking champ right there! NOBODY can take that moment away from me.

The kid got beat at chess by a kid who shit his pants. it's really hard to pick a winner in this situation.
posted by GuyZero at 3:10 PM on April 19, 2011 [5 favorites]

Jeez. Way to piss in the kid's Wheaties.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on April 19, 2011

Piss Christ in one thread, pooping atletes here..what it is it, Filth Day

Welcome to Metafilther: Best of the Wee
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:32 PM on April 19, 2011 [1 favorite]

The Tao of Pooh
posted by b1tr0t at 4:36 PM on April 19, 2011

Is NASCAR really so physically taxing that you might shit yourself?

I mean, long time in a car, performance jitters. I get it. But you don't heat stories of Angela Lansbury shitting herself at the opening of Anyone Can Whistle.
posted by munchingzombie at 5:01 PM on April 19, 2011

munchingzombie: Is NASCAR really so physically taxing that you might shit yourself?

Maybe he was on a Persimmon Diet.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 5:32 PM on April 19, 2011

Is NASCAR really so physically taxing that you might shit yourself?

Must be. I got pulled over once for driving 85 in a 60 (and other assorted infractions), and the Statie leans down into my open window and screams, "You have got to be shitting me!!!" So, I guess kind of a thing.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:37 PM on April 19, 2011

My God, have you ever driven even a go-kart in anger? It's one of the most physically taxing things you will ever do. I've ridden one of the toughest mountain bike trails there is (rated 11/10 for exposure, exertion, technical challege, every metric) and it was NOTHING compared to three hours of full-on Go-Kart racing. Seriously.
posted by unSane at 6:44 PM on April 19, 2011

I'm not a huge fan of NASCAR, but I do know it is one of the most physically demanding sports - high temperatures in the car, a constant grip on the wheel, g-forces, etc. I've heard it's not unusual to lose several pounds during a race.

But I thought they were talking about sweat, not poop.
posted by bashos_frog at 6:55 PM on April 19, 2011

The kid got beat at chess by a kid who shit his pants. it's really hard to pick a winner in this situation.

Dude,

Its obviously a kid who shit, but didn't give a shit that he would be made fun of. Why didn't he care...cuz he knew that even though his pants were full of wet, smashed, dripping shit...he was the cock of the motherfucking walk.

I have thought about this over the years, and I really believe that my 4th grade self-esteem was higher because I decided to shit my pants, than it would have been had I actually gone to the bathroom.

It wasn't just a chess game I won.
posted by hal_c_on at 7:12 PM on April 19, 2011 [2 favorites]

It wasn't just a chess game I won.

"That chess player? He knows his shit. Don't fuck with him."
posted by yeloson at 9:48 PM on April 19, 2011

I made sure to keet a roll of TP in my soccer bag. HS lunch was at 12:30, practice/games started at 2:30-3. Just do the math.

Interesting ones were late fall when I couldn't find a stall and the foliage wasn't as dense.
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 6:08 AM on April 20, 2011

Everyone Poops.
posted by madcaptenor at 7:53 AM on April 20, 2011

There was something I was gonna do in this thread, but, you know, uh ... never mind.
posted by eritain at 5:59 PM on April 20, 2011

Everyone Poops.

And in my office building, they all do it at 2 PM.
posted by GuyZero at 6:50 PM on April 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was just going to link to the Bristol Stool Scale, but that would be thread-shitting. Try this not-very-ancient MeFi thread instead. Bring your own paper!
posted by sneebler at 7:47 PM on April 20, 2011

Scooby do be bopalee doo doo.
posted by Goofyy at 1:11 AM on April 21, 2011

Hey what's wrong with other peoples poop anyway? People have it transplanted to make themselves feel better. Seriously.
posted by oyddodat at 1:40 AM on April 25, 2011