Have you ever printed a boarding pass?

April 22, 2011 5:21 AM

Alaska man prints poster-sized boarding pass. No extra TSA pat downs, no enraged passengers.
posted by kuujjuarapik (56 comments total)

I'm not an expert here, but it appears that hilarity may have ensued.
posted by punkfloyd at 5:30 AM on April 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

Is that a poster-sized boarding pass in your pocket or are you just happy to see the TSA?
posted by gman at 5:31 AM on April 22, 2011

Did they charge him for an extra bag?
posted by three blind mice at 5:34 AM on April 22, 2011

Longpass is loooong.
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:35 AM on April 22, 2011 [10 favorites]

That was surprisingly nice and gave me good feelings. Yay.
posted by dubitable at 5:36 AM on April 22, 2011

Time to take it to the next level, and silk screen it onto a T-shirt.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:41 AM on April 22, 2011 [9 favorites]

No! Use metallic thread and sew it into you underwear!
posted by BeerFilter at 5:44 AM on April 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

Man pokes bureaucratic bear with a stick; bear does not search man's body cavities.
posted by aught at 5:46 AM on April 22, 2011 [14 favorites]

I'm not really ready for human interest stories about the people who are paid to touch children's genitals.
posted by TypographicalError at 5:46 AM on April 22, 2011 [16 favorites]

He forgot to bring Nurse Elizabeth with him to present the giant boarding pass... to "Flying."
posted by dracomarca at 5:57 AM on April 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

Well, it's not like there are any regulations that state the dimensions at which a boarding pass must be printed out. Good on him.

For his next trick, he can use a microprinter to create a high-resolution boarding pass the size of a fingernail, and bring along a magnifying glass.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:00 AM on April 22, 2011

Man prints poster-sized boarding pass in 2007, 3 years before the TSA's crackdown on body searches. I'd like to see him try the same today.
posted by item at 6:05 AM on April 22, 2011 [12 favorites]

"Well, since it looks like you like things extra large, your cavity search will be conducted by Magnus" *gestures towards Magnus the 7'4" TSA-agent-cum-strongman-competitor applying KY to his meaty, gloved paw with a look of delight*
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:09 AM on April 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm not really ready for human interest stories about the people who are paid to touch children's genitals.

Well crap, there goes my whole series of threads on pediatric urologists!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 6:14 AM on April 22, 2011 [25 favorites]

That was pretty funny. Good on everyone for having a sense of humor.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:19 AM on April 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

Somehow, I wanted him to yell "MULTIPASS" at the top of his lungs with this.
posted by sonascope at 6:21 AM on April 22, 2011 [26 favorites]

.....flashes of Quincy......
posted by Thomas Tallis is my Homeboy at 6:22 AM on April 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

Lame. Should have had it tattooed onto his forehead, then got laser tattoo removal surgery ready for the next tattoo for the next leg. Then when his forehead is no longer usable due to scar tissue or whatever, it's time to move to the next body part. Pretty soon he'll have a neat little sideline as the world's first full-coverage human palimpsest.
posted by The Discredited Ape at 6:26 AM on April 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

He should offer these for sale in the SkyMall catalog as the perfect big ticket item.
posted by hal9k at 6:33 AM on April 22, 2011 [9 favorites]

I find that the airport security line is exactly the place I want to call attention to how cool I am.
posted by xingcat at 6:50 AM on April 22, 2011 [8 favorites]

I am pretty sure that if he tried to do this at the Philadelphia Airport he would have been detained and missed his flight. Because those TSA agents are stupid, humorless, sadistic mother fuckers.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:53 AM on April 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

no really, I've altered travel plans to avoid that airport
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:55 AM on April 22, 2011

And now with your feelings on those TSA agents made public, you may want to avoid all US airports!
posted by gman at 7:02 AM on April 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

He should offer these for sale in the SkyMall catalog as the perfect big ticket item.
posted by hal9k at 6:33 AM on April 22 [+] [!]

*Whistle. Yellow card.* You're on notice, buddy.
posted by gc at 7:15 AM on April 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

Well, good on you, Anchorage TSA guys!

I now want to take all of my flights out of Anchorage.

As I am residing in Florida, this may present a bit of challenge.
posted by misha at 7:17 AM on April 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

I can't help thinking this is one of those situations where white privilege isn't mentioned but plays a large role.
posted by Deathalicious at 7:21 AM on April 22, 2011 [17 favorites]

A little disappointed it wasn't this Bill Bryson, but fun nonetheless.
posted by TwoWordReview at 7:32 AM on April 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

From the About page...

I grew up in an Athabaskan village called Northway, which is about 300 miles from Fairbanks...I spent my childhood in Alaska...and went to college in Minnesota...This is my first year working for Virginia Public Schools (in Northern Minnesota)...We enjoy living in Northern Minnesota on beautiful Lake Vermilion.

posted by slogger at 7:43 AM on April 22, 2011

And now with your feelings on those TSA agents made public, you may want to avoid all US airports!

Knowing the general competence level of the TSA, they'll likely go ahead and put 'Zaphod Beeblebrox' on the no-fly list by mistake.
posted by stet at 7:53 AM on April 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ah, admin is one of my favorite bloggers!
posted by The Deej at 7:59 AM on April 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

I can't help thinking this is one of those situations where white privilege isn't mentioned but plays a large role.

Now you're blowing this out of proportion.
A little late to the gate but we've been waiting for you.
posted by hal9k at 8:14 AM on April 22, 2011

"*Whistle. Yellow card.* You're on notice, buddy."

Is that yellow card comedically oversized? Because THAT would be funny.
posted by Eideteker at 8:21 AM on April 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm not really ready for human interest stories about the people who are paid to touch children's genitals.

So, um... you really wouldn't like pediatric urologists would you?
posted by Dreadnought at 8:29 AM on April 22, 2011

Now you're blowing this out of proportion.

Maybe. Maybe people from the Middle East or South Asia don't actually experience special scrutiny when going through security checkpoints, and all the times I have seen it happen are just instances of confirmation bias.
posted by Deathalicious at 8:37 AM on April 22, 2011 [5 favorites]

Slarty Bartfast: "I am pretty sure that if he tried to do this at the Philadelphia Airport he would have been detained and missed his flight. Because those TSA agents are stupid, humorless, sadistic mother fuckers."

I flew out of Philadelphia's airport the morning of this past season's Patriots-at-Pittsburgh game. I was wearing my Patriots shirt. I was "randomly" selected for the at-boarding chemical-sniffer bag test. Yeah, I know the real reason.

It only took like 15 seconds, and was completely un-annoying.
posted by Plutor at 8:45 AM on April 22, 2011

Oh my god, Becky, look at his boarding pass!
posted by needs more cowbell at 8:53 AM on April 22, 2011 [7 favorites]

I screen you baby. Wavin' that pass.
posted by crysflame at 8:57 AM on April 22, 2011 [12 favorites]

And now with your feelings on those TSA agents made public, you may want to avoid all US airports!
posted by gman at 10:02 AM on April 22

Eponysterical.
posted by nzero at 9:04 AM on April 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

(I have an extremely large boarding pass deal with it)
posted by Rhaomi at 9:16 AM on April 22, 2011

It makes me so friggin' sad that "didn’t even get an extra pat down or anything" is worth remarking on.
posted by Zed at 9:28 AM on April 22, 2011 [3 favorites]

Deathalicious : I can't help thinking this is one of those situations where white privilege isn't mentioned but plays a large role.

Christ-on-a-stick, can you people drop the classism schtick at least in threads that have nothing whatsoever to do with race, creed, color, age, or socioeconomic status???

Guy prints a giant boarding pass. Whether you consider it cute, edgy, or just annoying, his skin color has no relevance to this discussion.
posted by pla at 9:34 AM on April 22, 2011 [5 favorites]

It's easy to get away with that in Alaska. The people who work at the airports are friendly, efficient, and easy going.
I wouldn't try that at JFK. They wouldn't be amused. In fact the look they give you at JFK when you present a normal sized boarding pass is acidic enough to eat through lead.
posted by Liquidwolf at 9:53 AM on April 22, 2011 [2 favorites]

pla, that's ridiculous. The entire point of the story is that he did this and nothing particularly bad happened to him. If you honestly believe that an African American man or--god forbid--a Middle Eastern-looking man would have the same experience with this... well, we'll agree to disagree.

The difference in reactions this would garner is a *perfect* example of white privilege.
posted by EL-O-ESS at 10:14 AM on April 22, 2011 [9 favorites]

Christ-on-a-stick, can you people drop the classism schtick at least in threads that have nothing whatsoever to do with race, creed, color, age, or socioeconomic status???

That's the tricky thing about privilege. You can have situations that look like they have nothing whatsoever to do with race, creed, color, age, or socioeconomic status, because it's based on all sorts of background assumptions most people don't notice unless they've tripped over them before.

Guy prints a giant boarding pass. Whether you consider it cute, edgy, or just annoying, his skin color has no relevance to this discussion.

Guy prints a giant boarding pass and is not especially harassed for pulling a stunt at the airport. Given that the story itself notes that the lack of harassment was notable, and that skin color is often correlated with the level of harassment received at airports, I'm not sure I agree with your assessment.
posted by Karmakaze at 10:22 AM on April 22, 2011 [9 favorites]

I like people subverting the ridiculous process of airport security with things that make me smile. I have to go to the airport tomorrow and I hope there is somebody in line doing something silly. It'd be me if I could think of what it was.
posted by iamkimiam at 10:35 AM on April 22, 2011

The post is from 2007. The TSA have gotten much dickier and prickier since then. I'm not sure it or he would fly today.

Also, I'm in a crappy mood today, so i'll fling it. A post from 2007 C'mon, get current please.
posted by Xurando at 1:38 PM on April 22, 2011

Xurando: The post is from 2007. The TSA have gotten much dickier and prickier since then. I'm not sure it or he would fly today.

It might be old, but at least it's not a double.

Also, I'm in a crappy mood today, so i'll fling it. A post from 2007 C'mon, get current please.

Me too.
posted by gman at 1:52 PM on April 22, 2011

Far less tasing than I expected.
posted by codacorolla at 2:10 PM on April 22, 2011

The TSA have gotten much dickier and prickier since then.

In my experience, the TSA have been dicks since their formation. I'm sure you can identify with that.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:18 PM on April 22, 2011

I accidentally printed my last boarding pass at double size on high-quality photo paper. I got a lot of joking "wow, thats a really nice looking boarding pass" comments from the agents but that was it.
posted by wildcrdj at 2:23 PM on April 22, 2011

There's a page in "Paddington Goes Shopping" that looks uncannily like this scene - the same facial expressions and curious people craning to see.
posted by Catch at 9:08 PM on April 22, 2011

What a fun story. It reminds me of a bit from one of the Penn and Teller books where a friend of theirs glues a small bit of red rubber on his picture id's over his nose. When he hands his id to someone he puts on a clown nose which he keeps stashed in a pocket. They never notice because they're focused on receiving the id. IIRC he always gets a smile at least, if not a laugh.

Air travel can be dreary at best, or dehumanizing at worst. Here a guy walks into a room with a creative bit of humor and leaves everyone with a smile. Any maybe feeling a bit more human.
posted by calamari kid at 9:29 PM on April 22, 2011 [1 favorite]

Replace Any with And, sigh.
posted by calamari kid at 9:40 PM on April 22, 2011

The post is from 2007. The TSA have gotten much dickier and prickier since then.

Actually, in my experience it's gotten better. Sure the theater part is a hassle, but I guess I've just been lucky enough to always run into the friendly agents. They seemed a lot meaner, to me, 4-5 years ago.
posted by Deathalicious at 9:50 PM on April 22, 2011

EL-O-ESS writes "The entire point of the story is that he did this and nothing particularly bad happened to him. If you honestly believe that an African American man or--god forbid--a Middle Eastern-looking man would have the same experience with this... well, we'll agree to disagree."

You realize that you are essentially railing against the fact that he didn't get treated harshly without cause? It's not like he cut to the front of the line or something; the treatment he experienced should be the default. While it's possible a Middle Eastern-looking man would have had a different experience let's save the GRAR for when that actually happens.

EL-O-ESS writes "The difference in reactions this would garner is a *perfect* example of white privilege."

But there isn't a difference in actual reactions. Just an actual reaction and a hypothetical reaction.
posted by Mitheral at 9:59 PM on April 22, 2011

I am pretty sure that if he tried to do this at the Philadelphia Airport he would have been detained and missed his flight. Because those TSA agents are stupid, humorless, sadistic mother fuckers.

I transited through Philadelphia with my wife and 1.5 year old son on our last trip to Dublin. After a long flight with serious delays on the Dublin side, I was pleasantly surprised at how friendly all the TSA agents were in Philadelphia. They were all laughing and joking and trying to make my son smile. So I guess the solution here is, find a 1.5 year old and a charming Irish woman to bring with you on any trip. :)
posted by antifuse at 7:14 AM on April 30, 2011