[NSFW] Just Fucking Fuck Me, Already
April 26, 2011 4:52 PM Subscribe
This post was deleted for the following reason: three year old best-of-craigslist? -- jessamyn
I bet this is a douche.
posted by anigbrowl at 4:55 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by anigbrowl at 4:55 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
I bet this is Tom Cruise.
posted by Threeway Handshake at 4:55 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Threeway Handshake at 4:55 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
*unzips anyway*
posted by Capt. Renault at 4:58 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by Capt. Renault at 4:58 PM on April 26, 2011
Disclaimer: One (wo)man does not speak for all women.
posted by filthy light thief at 4:58 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy light thief at 4:58 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush - you are not John Madden.
OK, now I'm imagining John Madden providing color commentary of fucking. And it's not pretty.
posted by jonmc at 4:59 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
OK, now I'm imagining John Madden providing color commentary of fucking. And it's not pretty.
posted by jonmc at 4:59 PM on April 26, 2011 [3 favorites]
Yeah, but while you're all lining up to be all concerned and disapproving he's probably getting some action somewhere.
posted by joannemullen at 4:59 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by joannemullen at 4:59 PM on April 26, 2011
Whoever wrote that is undoubtedly very experienced.
At watching porn.
posted by dersins at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011
At watching porn.
posted by dersins at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011
That read like Scott Adams.
posted by cavalier at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011 [8 favorites]
posted by cavalier at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011 [8 favorites]
Some responsible men avoid any indication of proactively encouraging initial sex because men are traditionally aggressors, implications of which are unpleasant for all sensible modern individuals and to be avoided! If a woman wants sex she should express that explicitly because women are not traditionally aggressors and the offer is likely to be beneficial for all parties!
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
OK, now I'm imagining John Madden providing color commentary of fucking. And it's not pretty.
But what until Madden Craigslist Sex Commentary '12 comes out for the XBox 360.
posted by GuyZero at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
But what until Madden Craigslist Sex Commentary '12 comes out for the XBox 360.
posted by GuyZero at 5:00 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
Most women like dirty talk, in addition to the grunting
You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?
posted by thanotopsis at 5:01 PM on April 26, 2011 [5 favorites]
You mean the panties your mother laid out for you?
posted by thanotopsis at 5:01 PM on April 26, 2011 [5 favorites]
But what until Madden Craigslist Sex Commentary '12 comes out for the XBox 360.
Can we vote on who'll be on the cover? I'm voting for Ron Mexico.
posted by dersins at 5:02 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
Can we vote on who'll be on the cover? I'm voting for Ron Mexico.
posted by dersins at 5:02 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
Man, is there any sexier sentence in the English language than "I think I'm going to come - how do you like it?"
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:02 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:02 PM on April 26, 2011
Yeah, but while you're all lining up to be all concerned and disapproving he's probably getting some action somewhere.
I'm neither concerned nor disapproving, merely amused.
posted by jonmc at 5:03 PM on April 26, 2011
I'm neither concerned nor disapproving, merely amused.
posted by jonmc at 5:03 PM on April 26, 2011
Well, I can tell you right out I am not going to fuck him/her however much they want me to.
posted by unSane at 5:04 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by unSane at 5:04 PM on April 26, 2011
Seriously, jason planet, how did you find this? This is hilarious!!!!!!
posted by clockzero at 5:05 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by clockzero at 5:05 PM on April 26, 2011
7 of 9 to the ready room.
posted by clavdivs at 5:05 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 5:05 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Hard and firm advice this is.
posted by clavdivs at 5:06 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 5:06 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]
Ah, she's from Seattle. Now it all makes sense.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:07 PM on April 26, 2011
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:07 PM on April 26, 2011
But don't make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist.
IRONY
posted by DU at 5:08 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
IRONY
posted by DU at 5:08 PM on April 26, 2011 [2 favorites]
I've had this bookmarked for years and have shown it to several women I was dating - when the time was right - and it always elicited howls of laughter and high fives, and moar sex.
I love this old chestnut. For really selfish reasons.
posted by sidereal at 5:08 PM on April 26, 2011
I love this old chestnut. For really selfish reasons.
posted by sidereal at 5:08 PM on April 26, 2011
It's OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja.
I think this would be hot
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:10 PM on April 26, 2011 [6 favorites]
I think this would be hot
posted by Pallas Athena at 5:10 PM on April 26, 2011 [6 favorites]
« Older Where Have Those Days Gone | Huey Meaux, record producer, dead at 82 Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by jonmc at 4:54 PM on April 26, 2011