The best dong in the world

May 4, 2011 1:49 PM

The beast obnoxious responses to misspellings on Facebook
posted by MuffinMan (155 comments total)

I see what you did there.
posted by The Devil Tesla at 1:50 PM on May 4, 2011 [9 favorites]

I LOLed.
posted by GuyZero at 1:55 PM on May 4, 2011

This is a kind of thin post, but I am the kind of cheap asshole who laughs aloud at this kind of thing. So: ok!
posted by everichon at 1:56 PM on May 4, 2011 [17 favorites]

I LILed!
posted by Splunge at 1:57 PM on May 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

The "Yes it Do's!" one made this post worth it.
posted by timshel at 1:57 PM on May 4, 2011 [17 favorites]

"Emu kids"

I laughed, yes I did.
posted by rtha at 1:58 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

,
posted by phaedon at 1:59 PM on May 4, 2011 [13 favorites]

The "Gene" Simmons " picture is priceless and the whole page is very funny.
posted by Eyebeams at 2:00 PM on May 4, 2011 [9 favorites]

Spelling mistakes on social networking sites kill my soul.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:00 PM on May 4, 2011

Poor Robby.
posted by everichon at 2:00 PM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

And appropriately enough, I have a lost quotation mark in my post. I hope Daniel isn't here.
posted by Eyebeams at 2:01 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Daniel is my new heroe.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:01 PM on May 4, 2011 [16 favorites]

Gneiss post.
posted by Go Banana at 2:03 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

I really hope emu kids becomes a thing.
posted by MrVisible at 2:03 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

Yanking posts from Lamebook does not make for a good blog.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 2:04 PM on May 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

Daniel is my new heroe.

Hel, yeah! I luv that guy.
posted by nooneyouknow at 2:04 PM on May 4, 2011

The kids are not alright.
posted by schmod at 2:05 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: NOW RUM TELL DAT
posted by ofthestrait at 2:06 PM on May 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

This is what happens when we base our educational "stratergeries" on the Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.
posted by yeloson at 2:09 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

Ow, my brain.
posted by daq at 2:09 PM on May 4, 2011

"Since I've met you, I no longer want to slice myself... with my ferocious talons."

Beautiful. I love Jeannine Pixelatedlastname.
posted by MegoSteve at 2:10 PM on May 4, 2011 [11 favorites]

must... stay... clam...

I laughed so hard I gave myself the hiccups.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 2:12 PM on May 4, 2011 [11 favorites]

Thanks for the Lamebook link, Mister Fabulous. Loved this one.
posted by MegoSteve at 2:13 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

Now, now do you see? This is why spelling matters! Did you mean "best obnoxious responses" or "least obnoxious responses?"

Because they're different!
posted by Naberius at 2:14 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Are these real? I love them but they seem too perfect.
posted by not that girl at 2:18 PM on May 4, 2011

Oh my god... it is a thing.
posted by MrVisible at 2:18 PM on May 4, 2011 [10 favorites]

Awesome. And so timely, as I just clicked over here from my email, where someone on Freecycle was asking for a "small otterman". I open some small oysters, I assume.
posted by DU at 2:20 PM on May 4, 2011

There comes a point where it ceases to be "spelling errors" and enters the realms of argot.

Or at least that's what I tell myself to keep from despairing about the writing habits of "kids today".

(and keep in mind, this is coming from a guy who can't write a comment without transposing an it's/its to/too. Because I'm an idiot.)
posted by quin at 2:20 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sweetie... We Are Bombing Lybia....

I enjoy watching well-intentioned corrections go astray.
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:20 PM on May 4, 2011 [9 favorites]

I laffed until I cryed.

Also, it seems that... sorry... seems dat d gnration gap is widnng.
posted by Elmore at 2:21 PM on May 4, 2011

I almost gave up a few times, but it turned out to be worth it for the very last one.
posted by darksasami at 2:22 PM on May 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

NOW I remember why I dumped Facebook.

besides having to read the idiot posts of the tea partiers that seem to populate that particular cesspool (not be be confused with Scott Adams' cesspool, which I enjoy wading in)
posted by tomswift at 2:23 PM on May 4, 2011

This is making me regret dumping Facebook a little. But only a little.
posted by Zozo at 2:24 PM on May 4, 2011

Oh goodness. Lindsay M. That poor woman and whatever kind of bad day she's having... Outstanding, that whole exchange is.

Thanks for posting. I haven't laughed this hard since I first encountered damnyouautocorrect.
posted by hippybear at 2:24 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am going to start using some of these response styles when correcting particularly annoying authors' edits. I'm sure my clients will see the humor in it.
posted by theredpen at 2:24 PM on May 4, 2011

I'd like to meet the guy who typed "You spelled 'congratulations' wrong."
posted by eugenen at 2:26 PM on May 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

Uh, you guys know that most of these are probably fake, right?
posted by nasreddin at 2:27 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh my god the last one is so. fucking. hilarious.
posted by Lutoslawski at 2:27 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

I've seen some of these before, but the "gneiss guy" and the one about grandpa at the end of the list had me shedding tears.

And it's ok if even all of them are fake because it's fake. EVERYTHING on Facebook is contrived on some level.
posted by jnrussell at 2:31 PM on May 4, 2011 [6 favorites]

You know I am probably fake, yeah?
posted by everichon at 2:31 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Are these real? I love them but they seem too perfect.

It's absolutely trivial to generate fake facebook messages. Here's one site that does it.

Most of these are absolutely fake.
posted by flatluigi at 2:32 PM on May 4, 2011

Metafilter: Uh, you guys know that most of these are probably fake, right?
posted by Mister Fabulous at 2:37 PM on May 4, 2011

They're real, and they're SPECTACULAR.
posted by ShutterBun at 2:39 PM on May 4, 2011 [26 favorites]

The last 2 were by far the best LOL
posted by weezy at 2:40 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

It is very very easy to fake these. Just paste into your adress bar the following:

javascript:document.body.contentEditable='true'; document.designMode='on'; void 0

Then the webpage like it was a word document.

It took me all of 2 minutes to make this example.

Being fake does not detract from the humor, I think, it is just a new medium, good humorists will shine, bad ones will not.
posted by Dr. Curare at 2:47 PM on May 4, 2011 [85 favorites]

It is very very easy to fake these. Just paste into your adress bar the following:

javascript:document.body.contentEditable='true'; document.designMode='on'; void 0

My day, she is made.
posted by atrazine at 2:53 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

As much as I loved Daniel, I had a moment of disbelief at how they kept setting him up. I'm sure he did, too. It was too perfect. I also enjoyed the discussion between Dominic and Nicole, but that could be because I have a weakness for puns (and the fact that Nicole seems blissfully ignorant).

But I didn't actually laugh out loud until Robby. I had assumed the joke was in the main post, and was all, "eh, lame," and a little sad that the last one was not as delightful as the rest -- until I read Robby's response. Oh, the comma! The comma!
posted by paisley sheep at 2:55 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

I don't care if that last one is real or fake, it's flawless.
posted by quin at 2:56 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

I really enjoy the spelling "type-o." The word "typo" comes from "typographical error," and it was then adapted to fit other contexts: "think-o," "write-o," whatever. "Type-o" is just the return of the prodigal son.
posted by nasreddin at 3:00 PM on May 4, 2011

Okay, I have a niece that I'm FB friends with, and she sounds like E.T. when she posts updates (i.e., "On thee phoneee w| thiss Loseerbutt theen off to bedd!"), but I don't usually leave clever comments making fun of how jacked up it sounds, because, come on man, it's just being mean.
posted by jabberjaw at 3:02 PM on May 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

When I see someone write "looser" for when they mean "loser," I punch them right in their misspelled face.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:03 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

Yeah, let's avoid being type-o negative here.
posted by everichon at 3:04 PM on May 4, 2011 [6 favorites]

I know we are talking about facebook updates and not text messaging, but it seems as good a time as any to mention that I indexed this paper today. It was a study that concluded, contrary to expectation individuals with better knowledge of abbreviations tended to be better spellers.

Huh.
posted by gaspode at 3:08 PM on May 4, 2011

NOW I remember why I dumped Facebook.

besides having to read the idiot posts of the tea partiers that seem to populate that particular cesspool (not be be confused with Scott Adams' cesspool, which I enjoy wading in)

You dumped Facebook because you're not good at choosing friends?
posted by The World Famous at 3:08 PM on May 4, 2011 [32 favorites]

It took me a few tries to insert commas into various parts of the last one to figure out what it was supposed to say.
posted by biochemist at 3:08 PM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

I barely got threw this I was laughing so hard...
posted by inigo2 at 3:09 PM on May 4, 2011

jpeg *png
posted by iotic at 3:12 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I mute everybody that annoys me. I think I see news feeds from about seven people. I'm friends with almost 2,000.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:12 PM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm friends with almost 2,000.

Show-off. or Size Queen. or something.

Is this something i'd have to have a facebook account to understand?
posted by hippybear at 3:14 PM on May 4, 2011

Mocking mispelling is the lowest form of wit.
posted by mippy at 3:17 PM on May 4, 2011

Having said that, a 20yr old relative of mine wrote: "Royal wedding and osama bin larden dead, if calsberg did bank holidaays...Bin larden should of never been killed!! He shudda be locked up and touchered!!"
posted by mippy at 3:19 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

Some of these are perfect counterexamples to those that say spelling/grammar mistakes don't matter.
posted by kmz at 3:19 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

Fucking emu kids.
posted by brundlefly at 3:21 PM on May 4, 2011

Stupid prescritavest porn. Lamé.
posted by carsonb at 3:22 PM on May 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

When I see someone write "looser" for when they mean "loser," I punch them right in their misspelled face.

FACIST!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:23 PM on May 4, 2011 [15 favorites]

(Before I clicked through, I actually thought the headline was supposed to be "least obnoxious responses" instead of "best obnoxious responses".)
posted by kmz at 3:25 PM on May 4, 2011

"On thee phoneee w| thiss Loseerbutt theen off to bedd!

That multiple-letter thing is deliberate. I don't know why and I don't know what it's supposed to convey (I only recently learned that setting text off with tildes means it's supposed to be ~singsong~), but it's an entrenched part of online tween dialect and how do I even know this.
posted by Zozo at 3:31 PM on May 4, 2011 [12 favorites]

I've come to grips with people using "loose" in place of lose by appending "onto the unsuspecting world" to the statement, which always makes it much more fun.
posted by Zophi at 3:39 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

If you repeatedly put a gun up to my head and told me I had to pick a person to get kicked by a mule, either a person who can't spell for shit, or a person who makes fun of someone who can't spell for shit, I'd pick the latter every single time, in a heartbeat.

Correcting other people's spelling is lame.
posted by 23skidoo at 3:41 PM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

posted by Zozo at 3:31 PM on May 4

I see what you did there.
posted by hippybear at 3:45 PM on May 4, 2011

23skidoo, as a counterpoint to your well-reasoned argument I have this to say:

"We are bombing Labia!"

I mean I'm with you with regards to my own personal conduct, but some of these are pretty funny.

To the "it's fake!" people: you know, maybe it is. But I don't see you hanging around Macy's at Christmastime shrieking "Charlatan! Loathsome deceiver!!" at the mall santa. Chill out.
posted by kavasa at 3:45 PM on May 4, 2011 [25 favorites]

Loose/lose drives me nuts. I think the reason it bothers me so much more than other typos (too/two, there/their, etc) is that they're pronounced differently. A homophone substitution doesn't really interrupt my reading flow, but loose in place of lose or vice versa makes my mind do one of those record-scratch things.
posted by kmz at 3:45 PM on May 4, 2011 [11 favorites]

to pick a person to get kicked by a mule, either a person who can't spell for shit, or a person who makes fun of someone who can't spell for shit, I'd pick the latter* every single time, in a heartbeat.

*Don't you mean "ladder"?


Ah... You didn't consider a third, combined option existed, and it was so much worse.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 3:47 PM on May 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

In instances like these I defer to the wisdom of my brother from Trinidad. There is no requirement for pedantic consistency to formal grammar and spelling in informal contexts.
posted by Rubbstone at 3:50 PM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

Misspellings are so common these days (and why the fuck these people didn't bother to learn to spell during their theoretical 12 years of schooling... don't get me started on that...) that I've gotten to where I really only point them out when there's a new meaning involved in the result of their linguistic inability.

It's less cruel than wholesale mocking, I think, and also is great for someone who loves wordplay as I do.
posted by hippybear at 3:50 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I literally just injured myself laughing.
posted by y6y6y6 at 3:51 PM on May 4, 2011

23skidoo, as a counterpoint to your well-reasoned argument I have this to say:

"We are bombing Labia!"

Still don't care. Whoever mocks that person gets a mule-kick. People who mock other people's spelling are assholes, and the world needs less assholes.
posted by 23skidoo at 3:52 PM on May 4, 2011

and the world needs less assholes.

*fewer.



What about those people?
posted by kingbenny at 3:54 PM on May 4, 2011 [48 favorites]

the world needs less assholes.

don't you mean... fewer? *ducking*
posted by hippybear at 3:54 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

dammit, kingbenny.
posted by hippybear at 3:55 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

People advocating violence as retaliation for free education aren't assholes?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:55 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

1. Sorry to break your prescriptivist heart, but I actually meant "less". I know you really think there's a useful difference, but there's not.

2. Never said I wasn't an asshole, but calling mockery "free education" is bullcrap.
posted by 23skidoo at 3:59 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fry more, emu kidney
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:00 PM on May 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

I have a friend who has been studying mules for 27 years. He says that mules appreciate proper spelling and would not be willing to kick people who point out spelling mistakes.
posted by perhapses at 4:00 PM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

Sure, you have to lie to the mules to get them to kick people who point out spelling mistakes, but that just makes the mule-kickings that much sweeeeter.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:02 PM on May 4, 2011

I know you really think there's a useful difference, but there's not.

That you don't know the difference between counting quantities and measuring quantities makes me weep for everyone who attends the same schools you did.
posted by hippybear at 4:02 PM on May 4, 2011 [17 favorites]

"Sorry to break your prescriptivist heart, but I actually meant "less"."

And the person who explained she was "board", meaning that she had nothing to do, not "bord", like a chalkbord, also actually meant "board".
posted by Bugbread at 4:04 PM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

2. Never said I wasn't an asshole, but calling mockery "free education" is bullcrap.

As a former law student, I can attest that education through mockery is far from free.
posted by The World Famous at 4:04 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

That you don't know the difference between counting quantities and measuring quantities makes me weep for everyone who attends the same schools you did.

That you don't know the definition of the word "useful" makes me weep for you. Just you.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:05 PM on May 4, 2011

And the person who explained she was "board", meaning that she had nothing to do, not "bord", like a chalkbord, also actually meant "board".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fewer_vs._less#History

"Less has always been used in English with counting nouns."
posted by 23skidoo at 4:08 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

More cowbell= funny.
More cowbells= not as funny.

A useful distinction!
posted by ShutterBun at 4:08 PM on May 4, 2011

More nouns.
posted by The World Famous at 4:10 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

That you don't know the definition of the word "useful" makes me weep for you. Just you.

Actually, you should read Rita Mae Brown on word choice and language sometime. She goes to great lengths to talk about how she develops characterization through word choice, and how you can separate characters' backgrounds based on whether they use words of Latin, Greek, Old English, or other European etymology, and does a pretty good job of backing up why certain people with specific backgrounds would be more like to use certain words over others.

Much is conveyed through one's word choice, not always about whether one knows the proper word usage and what that implies about a person's educational background, but also a great deal which speaks to cultural context and such.

Whether you believe that there is a "useful" difference between less and fewer or not, there are reasons why one is appropriate in a sentence and the other not, not all of which are reasons based in prescriptive grammar. It's a fascinating topic, and one worth looking into. Word choice can have subconscious effects on those we communicate with, even when our meaning is clear.
posted by hippybear at 4:14 PM on May 4, 2011 [19 favorites]

> I know you really think there's a useful difference, but there's not. That you don't know the difference between counting quantities and measuring quantities makes me weep for everyone who attends the same schools you did.

Take heart, 23skidoo. hippybear is just trying to help with your cause by being an unusually small asshole, reducing the net volume of assholes and making it less.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:16 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fewer_vs._less#History

"Less has always been used in English with counting nouns."

I stand corrected.
posted by Bugbread at 4:17 PM on May 4, 2011

LOL SELF!
oh
posted by clavdivs at 4:29 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

LESS FEWERS
posted by tumid dahlia at 4:33 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

Much is conveyed through one's word choice, not always about whether one knows the proper word usage and what that implies about a person's educational background, but also a great deal which speaks to cultural context and such.

I totally agree, which is why I said that using the word "less" was what I meant to say.

Whether you believe that there is a "useful" difference between less and fewer or not, there are reasons why one is appropriate in a sentence and the other not, not all of which are reasons based in prescriptive grammar. It's a fascinating topic, and one worth looking into. Word choice can have subconscious effects on those we communicate with, even when our meaning is clear.

Definitely there are reasons why one word is appropriate in certain instances where another is not (or rather, where one word imparts meaning that you might not want imparted). You zinged me on a strictly prescriptivist slant though, in response to my assertion that people who correct spelling mistakes are assholes. My point isn't that there's no reason to correct someone who makes language "mistakes", it's that people who are all "You spelled that wrong" are being jerks, and aren't exactly saying "Your word choice there imparts a great many things in addition to your inability to spell and I thought you might want to be aware of that."
posted by 23skidoo at 4:33 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't care what anyone says, the world needs this kind of thing.
posted by SpacemanStix at 4:35 PM on May 4, 2011 [3 favorites]

Stand closer to the mule.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:38 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

You can be an asshole to people who make spelling mistakes, or you can be an asshole to people who are assholes to people who make spelling mistakes, but what's important is that you're still an asshole.

So why not have a little fun with it?

As you can see, I have opted to be an asshole to people who are assholes to people who are assholes to people who make spelling mistakes, but this is advanced-level stuff and not recommended for amateur assholes.
posted by Zozo at 4:39 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

* adjusts tie *

So Zozo...
posted by everichon at 4:44 PM on May 4, 2011

Are you someone whose day can be ruined by witnessing clumsy spelling all over the world's largest social network?

If so, you probably need to go out and get laid.
posted by jonmc at 4:57 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

I wanted to be an Emu kid, but I hadn't figured out how to make more than $3.35/hr, so it was pretty much out of reach for me.
posted by weston at 5:04 PM on May 4, 2011

"Still don't care. Whoever mocks that person gets a mule-kick. People who mock other people's spelling are assholes, and the world needs less assholes."

Oh my god whatever. You do not need to get into a FUCK U PRESCRIPTIVISTS! DESCRIPTIVIST 4 LYFE! shitfit over this. Trust me, I'm with you there. All you have to do is imagine tactical bombers swooping in at mach 2, wings swept back, screaming just above the tops of the native foliage en route to drop their munitions amongst gargantuan labial lips, then dodging around behind the mountain range to the north to disappear from the ground-based radar.

Sometimes it's funny when someone falls over. Other times, it's funny when they spell things wrong. Admitting that this is so doesn't mean you have to put on a tie and get huffy about deletion of the copular be.
posted by kavasa at 5:15 PM on May 4, 2011 [8 favorites]

LMFAO…@ THESE BRAWDS…DELET ME BLOK ME…IDGAF…BUT I TELL U ONE THING WHEN SEE DONT UTTER TO YO TO SAY SHYT 2 ME…DONT TRY TO ACT LIKE WE FAM OR FRIENDS..CUZ I DNT FUC WIT BOOGI ASS HOES ANY WAY! SO KEEP MINE UP OUT YO MOUF…CUZ I WILL MAKE A TRIP! IT AINT NEVA BEEN NO HO N ME! NOW RUM TELL DAT!

All I want to know is, can this person's friends actually read that? I mean, will they spend the time to decipher it? Or is poor Tashanda posting updates that only she will bother with, and everyone else just ignores?

Legitimate question. I see stuff like this in my own news feed and I'd be interested to learn if there's a subculture that reads it as naturally as it writes it, or if it's only a one-way process. The idea of friends blathering at each other but never parsing what the others are saying is simultaneously tragic and hilarious.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 5:22 PM on May 4, 2011 [6 favorites]

I love these but GOD DAMN can people start saving these as PNGs or GIFs, the text is so blurry after being resized and recompressed so many times that I can barely read it. Best image practices!
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 5:26 PM on May 4, 2011 [5 favorites]

I get mocked for say 'ax' instead of 'ask' and a bunch of other shit that shows up on these kinds of lists. This is different (to me). And fake or not this is funny! xoxoxo to *Daniel.
posted by mokeydraws at 5:33 PM on May 4, 2011

if there's a subculture that reads it as naturally as it writes it, or if it's only a one-way process.

I don't know about that particular example, but anecdotally I can say that, as an adult leader of a youth group, I personally witnessed and had to intervene to stop a teenager as he attacked one of his closest friends with an ax (yes, an ax) over an argument that consisted of him telling his friend that he liked Baby Ruth candy bars and his friend enthusiastically agreeing with him about it. The ax-wielding teen could not understand his friend's slang and pronunciation and thought that he was escalating the "argument" through insults. But there were no insults - just a complete failure to communicate. What I had previously believed was a shared dialect of slang and regional pronunciation was, apparently, just tragically underdeveloped communication skill.

I get mocked for say 'ax' instead of 'ask' and a bunch of other shit that shows up on these kinds of lists.

If there's one thing I've learned, it's not to mock someone who has an ax.
posted by The World Famous at 5:40 PM on May 4, 2011 [7 favorites]

I am so getting a "Must Stay Clam" tattoo.
posted by jamaro at 5:48 PM on May 4, 2011 [4 favorites]

Someone who gets a tattoo of the phrase "Life Go's On" needs to get mocked. And, anyone who posts a photo of themselves that includes the phrase "Can You Spell Gorgouse" in 50 pt type also, most certainly, needs a mocking. You would not be an asshole for doing so.
posted by Brocktoon at 6:02 PM on May 4, 2011 [17 favorites]

My wife and I have said "stay clam" or "remain clam-like" for almost 20 years now. The example on this page doesn't have anything to make me think it isn't a similarly self-aware joke.
posted by DU at 6:05 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

Someone who gets a tattoo of the phrase "Life Go's On" needs to get mocked.
I think not, an 'Oh dear!' and moving on is sufficient.
posted by unliteral at 6:09 PM on May 4, 2011

You don’t have to be mean to correct spelling. You don’t have to get pissy when someone corrects your spelling.

My wife and I will be interchanging comma and coma from now on.
posted by bongo_x at 6:21 PM on May 4, 2011

You may not have to, but also you must.
posted by carsonb at 6:39 PM on May 4, 2011

KEEP
CLAM
AND
CARRY
ON
posted by Sys Rq at 6:45 PM on May 4, 2011 [15 favorites]

FINALY, a sight that exsalts grammer nazzies. Expelsior!
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 6:49 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

i lost it at BOMBING LABIA :D
posted by liza at 7:02 PM on May 4, 2011

Your just meen spirted.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:14 PM on May 4, 2011

Fantastic!
posted by blue_beetle at 7:20 PM on May 4, 2011

Aye pursunnulie dun kaer ebowd scpellan.
posted by zennie at 7:51 PM on May 4, 2011 [2 favorites]

I dunno how many assholes you guys have, but if I had one less, I'd be up shit creek.
posted by darkstar at 8:47 PM on May 4, 2011

I wish I could savor this moment forever.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 9:00 PM on May 4, 2011

You had me at dong.
posted by PHINC at 9:53 PM on May 4, 2011

Part of me is thinking "the English language has changed and incredible amount over its existence, it's perfectly natural and inevitable, and anyhow, when a language stops evolving it's basically dead" and all that other stuff any linguistics 101 student should know.

The other part of me is too busy laughing.
posted by mingo_clambake at 9:59 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

But will the emu kids stay clam when conscripted to fight in Labia?
posted by fallingbadgers at 10:15 PM on May 4, 2011

Keep Clam for all you seattlites
posted by hattifattener at 11:49 PM on May 4, 2011 [1 favorite]

It is very very easy to fake these. Just paste into your adress bar the following:

It works even better if you type it into your address bar.
posted by aqsakal at 12:28 AM on May 5, 2011

Misspelt tattoos make me sad. If any occupation should have a spelling test prior to being hired, it's one which involves permanently inking words into someone else's skin.

Oh, and signwriters. I can never work out whether the owner gave them misspelt names or the writer either couldn't spell or didn't know English so well, but it gives us shops called 'What She Want's?'

My mum is a poor speller so I can't really get behind mocking poor spelling in letters and social networking, but professional poor spelling is BAD.
posted by mippy at 1:49 AM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

I read the "looking at cars" one about five or six times before I realized that the "I enjoy riding in your mom" comment was a typo instead of a yo mama joke.

I think 15+ years on the Internet are to blame for civility seeming like the least plausible scenario to me when interpreting human interactions.
posted by unigolyn at 3:25 AM on May 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

I laughed. I have taken friendships to the brink over poor spelling and lack of punctuation in online messages.

I have also noticed (and this is only a sample size of two, so bear with me) that the people I know that have majored in English/writing/languages/other liberal arts are the world's worst spellers. One, my brother, aspired to be a fiction writer in college and I could never understand the e-mails he sent me. The other, a member of a theater group I was in who fancied himself a playwright, seemingly never learned about the magic spellcheck wizardry inside of his computer. Trying to perform cold readings of his scripts was nearly impossible.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:37 AM on May 5, 2011

*Daniel is my hero
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:52 AM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

*an
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:53 AM on May 5, 2011

I have a friend whose facebook posts are a terrible jumble of misspellings, random punctuation and bizarre word choices. She homeschools her teens, who have combined their ignorance with texting slang to create an impenatrable patois. This woman just connected with her birth parents and half-siblings for the first time, and crazily, their posts on her wall are almost identical to hers!

(I also homeschooled my kids for their early grades, and they complained bitterly about their spelling and grammar lessons. They might post embarassing things online, but they'll be properly spelled!)
posted by Biblio at 6:15 AM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

If you repeatedly put a gun up to my head and told me I had to pick a person to get kicked by a mule, either a person who can't spell for shit, or a person who makes fun of someone who can't spell for shit, I'd pick the latter every single time, in a heartbeat.

Correcting other people's spelling is lame.

And being that guy is even more lame. If you are going to play the descriptivist card, you have to accept that any usage is correct, even the ones you don't like.
posted by gjc at 6:17 AM on May 5, 2011

What's facebook?
posted by TheBones at 6:26 AM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

People who think others are assholes for pointing out (and mocking) spelling, punctuation, and grammar mistakes are likely among those we mock.

If you cease to be wrong, I'll cease bringing attention to it.

:-)
posted by grubi at 6:26 AM on May 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

To the "it's fake!" people: you know, maybe it is. But I don't see you hanging around Macy's at Christmastime shrieking "Charlatan! Loathsome deceiver!!" at the mall santa. Chill out.

OMG. Philly MeFi Meetup in King of Prussia this December.
posted by Deathalicious at 7:28 AM on May 5, 2011 [3 favorites]

A: Pointing out misspled words / incorrect punctuation is great fun when the resulting (err...instigating?) sentence takes on a new, hilarious meaning.

B: Correcting common brain farts like "your vs. you're" is tiresome, unless it results in A. (example: your shit vs. you're shit)

B: See point B.
posted by ShutterBun at 8:43 AM on May 5, 2011 [2 favorites]

I get mocked for say 'ax' instead of 'ask' and a bunch of other shit that shows up on these kinds of lists

So much for peer pressure. We're going to have to try something more forceful.
posted by ook at 9:32 AM on May 5, 2011

I get mocked for say 'ax' instead of 'ask' and a bunch of other shit that shows up on these kinds of lists

So, honest question: Why would you say "ax" instead of "ask?"
posted by The World Famous at 10:01 AM on May 5, 2011

Why would you say "ax" instead of "ask?"

Because that's how I talk, Liz Lemon!
posted by Zozo at 11:11 AM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

(I also homeschooled my kids for their early grades, and they complained bitterly about their spelling and grammar lessons. They might post embarassing things online, but they'll be properly spelled!)

If they complain about language study, how, save through using language, do they complain?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:51 AM on May 5, 2011

I wish David Foster Wallace was still alive to read this, and all of the reactions to it!
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 11:56 AM on May 5, 2011

This is why DYAC is so funny, because you're making fun of technology instead of the OP, and you needn't feel guilty because an error created a ridiculous meaning. I subscribe both to the "it's mean to pick on people who can't spell" which is why I'm not linking to this on Facebook, because some of my friends will be hurt AND "I LOL'd".
posted by b33j at 3:26 PM on May 5, 2011

I do try to say "ask" but then it sounds like "ass". Would you prefer that I "ax" you a question or "ass" you a question? Apparently the OED has "ax" as a very early pronunciation. So everyone saying "ask" is actually using a much later version of the word. That's right. Every one else is wrong and I'm right. So I'm gonna ax all the questions I want. Maybe that's why I don't get many answers.
posted by mokeydraws at 4:49 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

So your argument in support of your mispronunciation is twofold: 1) You are not capable of pronouncing the "K" sound; and 2) you think archaic pronunciation is, for some reason, more correct than current usage?

I am not convinced.
posted by The World Famous at 4:58 PM on May 5, 2011

I'm ok with that.
posted by mokeydraws at 5:03 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]

OK, then.
posted by The World Famous at 5:05 PM on May 5, 2011

*okay
posted by unliteral at 5:10 PM on May 5, 2011

"OK" is the earlier spelling. "okay" is a modern corruption, a bastardization, a sign of degeneracy I say.
posted by hattifattener at 7:31 PM on May 5, 2011

Oll Korrect
posted by unliteral at 8:02 PM on May 5, 2011

Being a dick to people is awesome!
posted by moss at 11:43 PM on May 5, 2011

A North London colleague of mine, from a Jamaican family, says 'arkse'. I don't know if it's an area/family thing or whether it's just her idiosyncracy.
posted by mippy at 9:40 AM on May 6, 2011

It's a Jamaican thing.
posted by iotic at 7:50 AM on May 7, 2011