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May 5, 2011 10:40 PM   Subscribe


 
That's too many Danzigs.

Blasphemy!
posted by chaff at 10:49 PM on May 5, 2011


This page lacks hogsheads, cubits and ergs!
posted by poe at 10:52 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


It is 93,750,000,000 Danzigs from the Earth to the Sun. That's a lot of Danzigs. I don't think his mom's basement is big enough for all of them.

Also, what's the constant to convert Danzigs to Onlys?
posted by KingEdRa at 10:53 PM on May 5, 2011 [1 favorite]


Is there a way to get the blood to flow up the walls?

(Danzig, motherfucker!)
posted by dirigibleman at 10:54 PM on May 5, 2011 [3 favorites]


plus or minus one ear
posted by rhizome at 11:28 PM on May 5, 2011


Frustratingly imprecise as usual, Glenn Danzig.

Inspired by Smoots we did this ourselves as freshmen with a guy in the dorm named Bimal, where 1Bimal was equivalent to 1.5m and 42kg (he was a little guy but good-natured with the attention that it brought him). I worked out a kcal to Bimal conversion factor to amuse myself in the dining hall but I can't remember it anymore because it was mostly guess-work and assumptions as I was never able to burn him in a calorimeter. Had plans for a volume conversion but was never able to get accurate water displacement measurements, but rough calculations indicated that 1Bimal is equivalent to the gas tank of a 1992 Honda Civic. To his credit he was a good sport about all this.

And please note those are 1994 Bimals, due to inflation the exchange rates might have changed over the years. If you're out there Bimal, let me know.

Bimal had the coolest computer ever as I think back about it. The motherboard had both a Motorola 68030/040(?) and an Intel 80486 and was able to dual boot and natively run Windows 3.11 and Mac System 6. Plus one of his parents worked for a harddrive manufacturer (Seagate maybe?), so despite his small size he had the largest harddrive of anyone in the dorm.
posted by peeedro at 12:17 AM on May 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


This page lacks hogsheads, cubits and ergs!

The Ergs are probably about 1/10th a Danzig, though I still love them.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 12:22 AM on May 6, 2011


The Institute of Danzig Research presents Shakira featuring Danzig - Hips Don't Lie (with captions).
posted by bjrn at 2:07 AM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


6,251,250 Danzigs are a bunch of very small Danzigs.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:34 AM on May 6, 2011


Linked from the guy's homepage, the David Foster Wallace Endnote Generator:

"143. (Known usually as MDMA/Xstasy, it is known to be one reason why the Canadian Open crowds seem so generally cheery and expansive and well-behaved; see Note 17.)"
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:53 AM on May 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Well, this is going down as one of the things that made my week.
posted by Kitteh at 3:44 AM on May 6, 2011


So ... Glenn Danzig is kinda short, and was apparently also known at one time for being kinda puny with it (and I had to resort to Google to discover that).

Genuinely curious, btw, not being snarky - is that the sole basis of the joke here, or am I missing something? I'm curious to know if there's a meme or other bit of shared pop-culture knowledge that I'm missing.
posted by kcds at 3:48 AM on May 6, 2011


Man, Danzig I through IV were fantastic albums with tight performances all around. This period produced classics like Her Black Wings, Long Way Back From Hell, Do You Wear the Mark?, and Dirty Black Summer. Then he fired the skilled performers that comprised the rest of the band (out of ego it was rumored at the time) and tried to synth it up himself for Danzig V, which was just an embarrassment of an album and a slap in the face to all of us that had been loyal fans to that point. You just can't have a decent metal album without a tight rhythm section. And it just seemed to go downhill further from there. I think I ended up buying the sixth one too like a sucker, not learning my lesson from five, but I can't recall. I stopped caring. But at least I still have the older ones to listen to and reminisce about the old days.
posted by Rhomboid at 4:08 AM on May 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


kcds, Glenn Danzig is sort of like Nibbler from Futurama. The joke being he's small and extremely dense (physically, not mentally, though if anyone could clarify that either way, thanks). He is his own unit of measurement, by gum.
posted by Kitteh at 5:21 AM on May 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


The joke being he's small and extremely dense (physically, not mentally, though if anyone could clarify that either way, thanks).

When Danzig did an instore signing at the record store I used to run, his people faxed a rider--the kind you read on Smoking Gun with lists of demands that concert venues are expected to provide. We thought that was pretty dense.

(and he got a six pack of Coke, a case of bottled water, and a Big Sandwich just like every other band who came by.)
posted by padraigin at 5:29 AM on May 6, 2011


I'd like to know when the Danzig was standardized. There could be a lot of variation, is this the puny, scrawny Misfits Danzig or the bovine growth hormone injected solo Danzig we're talking here?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:39 AM on May 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


Man, ConAgra gets their hands on everything.
posted by Kitteh at 6:13 AM on May 6, 2011


Oh god, there's a second Black Aria.
posted by cavalier at 6:20 AM on May 6, 2011


A system of measure for the misfit in all of us.
posted by safetyfork at 6:20 AM on May 6, 2011


So ... Glenn Danzig is kinda short

But when I put in 3 meters it came to only 1 Danzig. The site, it lies?
posted by tommasz at 6:38 AM on May 6, 2011


"I'd like to know when the Danzig was standardized."

The Danzig was standardized after the "Less Than Zero" soundtrack but before the release of "Danzig" so, call it Q2 of '88.
posted by MikeMc at 6:43 AM on May 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


A Metric Ton of Danzigs = 12
posted by Elmore at 7:00 AM on May 6, 2011


Is it smart to poke fun at a guy who teaches Jeet Kune Do?
posted by acheekymonkey at 8:22 AM on May 6, 2011


Ooh, thanks. Now I know how many Danzigs I need for ballast.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 9:10 AM on May 6, 2011


I appreciate that "Related Posts", below, considers the post from two years ago about dumpster diving to be relevant to Danzigs.
posted by ardgedee at 9:21 AM on May 6, 2011


The lack of fractional Danzigs is inherently bogus.

and don't argue that Danzig himself is a fraction; that's bogusĀ²
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:04 AM on May 6, 2011


I was absolutely convinced this was going to be measuring the death count of disasters and atrocities by comparing them to the Allied bombing of Danzig.

It's been a long week.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:39 PM on May 6, 2011


Is it smart to poke fun at a guy who teaches Jeet Kune Do?

Umm... I hope he's had a few more lessons since this was filmed.

What is the force of one Danzig hitting the deck with a bloody knuckle-print across his glass-jaw after starting shit he wasn't up to finishing?

Never underestimate sheer size and brute strength in a fight.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 10:19 PM on May 6, 2011


Nothing shall top the Danzig kitty litter meme from last fall.
posted by dgaicun at 1:37 AM on May 7, 2011


I just noticed this post's title, and APPROVE!!
posted by luvcraft at 12:35 PM on May 11, 2011


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