As a group, they are the chief proponents of public nudism in this country.

May 13, 2011 4:47 PM

Why do hippies still exist in America? ChristWire investigates.
(Previously: Hipsters!)
posted by dunkadunc (137 comments total)

I love that the pictures they chose to lead the article with are actually gutter punk kids and not hippies.
posted by stoneweaver at 4:51 PM on May 13, 2011 [11 favorites]

Because there are still squares who need freaking out.
posted by Kattullus at 4:51 PM on May 13, 2011 [41 favorites]

I feel dirty, and I regret giving them even one pageview. Ick.
posted by spacewrench at 4:51 PM on May 13, 2011 [7 favorites]

Meet the new scapegoat, same as the old scapegoat.

The fact that a teenage fashion fad from the 1960s has survived this long is stunning. These are people who have managed to deny every positive cultural change of the last 50 years.

Yes, it is stunning. It's almost as if they're somehow on to something....
posted by JHarris at 4:52 PM on May 13, 2011 [10 favorites]

LOLSquares.
posted by nickyskye at 4:54 PM on May 13, 2011

Is christwire a serious thing?
posted by jellywerker at 4:55 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

"Like similar satire websites, Christwire's stories have sometimes erroneously been taken at face value."
posted by vidur at 4:56 PM on May 13, 2011 [19 favorites]

Looking at the rest of the site, I'm pretty sure it's a send-up. E.g....
posted by Drexen at 4:56 PM on May 13, 2011

Long Fingers: Masturbatory Bliss or Death Sentence?
posted by Iron Rat at 4:57 PM on May 13, 2011

Yeah, first image is a couple crusty punks, definitely not hippies....
posted by kuatto at 4:57 PM on May 13, 2011

Umm. Just for those who want to know the nature of the site - Homosexuals in the Middle Ages: Alexander the Great.

Call me an immoral secular humanist, but this may, just may be parody.

Insert-trollface-here.
posted by Slap*Happy at 4:57 PM on May 13, 2011

In conclusion, it’s clear that the hippie lifestyle is little more than cover for middle class drug abuse. Unfortunately, the feeble minds of these addicts have been co-opted by unscrupulous political operatives to support a dangerous socialist agenda.

Wow, this could have been written by J. Edgar himself, this guy should be proud.
posted by doctor_negative at 4:58 PM on May 13, 2011

The dirty fucking hippies were right.
posted by briank at 5:01 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I read the first sentence of that and decided that it was crap..

tc:dr

(too crappy:didn't read)
posted by tomswift at 5:04 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

OK

but it's still crap
posted by tomswift at 5:06 PM on May 13, 2011

I'd say the fact that it is parody has been solidified via clicking through to the home page -- twink ---
posted by TangerineGurl at 5:07 PM on May 13, 2011

Pot.
posted by jonmc at 5:08 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

[The I Ching] profoundly served the generation that emitted the original Whole Earth Catalog. Ending with this review is a piece of homage to that time and those people, both passing rapidly, both remembered too easily for superficial and dismissable things rather than for the real risks taken with real clarity in the face of overwhelming opposition. - Stewart Brand, The Next Whole Earth Catalog, 1981
posted by Trurl at 5:09 PM on May 13, 2011

Q. What do you call a thousand hippies at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A Metafilter thread.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:09 PM on May 13, 2011 [8 favorites]

How do you hide a bar of soap from a hippy? Try sticking it in the freezer, under all the old ziplocks of unidentifiable bits of leftover meat. Or maybe try a disguise? I don't know - think for yourself. Why did the hippy cross the road? He was a Catholic priest, and there was something dead in the road. Think about it: it's an awesome joke! How many hippies does it take to scew in a lightbulb? It depends on how high up it is, really. Maybe one to hold the latter, and one to screw in the bulb? So, two, at most, I'd think. But make sure you use compact flourescents. Although, there's a bit of backlash against those now, because of the mercury, and other bulbs are way more energy efficient than they used to be. So maybe another hippy to do a little research on it, maybe. Three. It would take three hippies for a lightbulb that was up pretty high.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:09 PM on May 13, 2011 [20 favorites]

s/hippy/hipsters

Man, I cannot type today.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:10 PM on May 13, 2011

latter==ladder, unless they didn't have a ladder, in which case latter actually works
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:11 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

Because there are still squares who need freaking out.

"Hippies are squares with long hair
and they don't wear no underwear..."
posted by jonmc at 5:14 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

"KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND. YOUR LIFE MAY DEPEND ON IT! You will not be able to see his eyes because of the Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will be white from inner tension and his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim. He will stagger and babble when questioned. He will not respect your badge. The Dope Fiend fears nothing. He will attack, for no reason, with every weapon at his command-including yours. BEWARE. Any officer apprehending a suspected marijuana addict should use all necessary force immediately. One stitch in time (on him) will usually save nine on you. Good luck.

-The Chief"
— Hunter S. Thompson
posted by mosk at 5:22 PM on May 13, 2011 [10 favorites]

I used to call myself a hippie when I was a kid because I liked The Beatles and Dylan. That was before I went to a liberal arts college and later moved to Australia, where I met real hippies - barefoot, gross, ragged nature lovers.
I think of them as a personal enemy now, though I have hippie friends. They're responsible for bad 'chilled out' poetry. They're why we have height restrictions on buildings and no nuclear power and anti-whaling laws and vegan restaurants.
They want to tear down civilization and replace it with a 'chilled out' drug orgy.
I'm exaggerating slightly but I do consider them an Enemy.
When they crossbreed with hipsters you get 'tribal' BS like MGMT and Devendra Banhardt, which isn't bad. But let them go out of control and you get the Manson Family or an anti-human apocalypse.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:25 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

As an individual, I'm the chief proponent of nudity in my office.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:29 PM on May 13, 2011

Obligatory: I Can't Stand My Filthy Hippie Owner
posted by mosk at 5:31 PM on May 13, 2011

The pictures made me immediately think of Buzzov*en.
posted by Existential Dread at 5:34 PM on May 13, 2011

Anti-whaling laws?
posted by stratastar at 5:35 PM on May 13, 2011

But let them go out of control and you get the Manson Family or an anti-human apocalypse.

whut is this i don't even
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 5:35 PM on May 13, 2011 [9 favorites]

The picture on the top right of the article looked a lot like John Butler, one of the worst avatars of the modern hippie (at least in Australia). Most of the pictures looked familiar. Part of my revulsion is fear - I could easily succumb and become a hippie.


Most of that article was bullshit but this was right:

On a personal level, a hippie can be defined as a person who will abuse drugs until the day he or she dies, irregardless of health issues or pleas from their children. They wear loose, used clothing and grow their hair unnecessarily long. Both males and females adorn themselves with colorful, cheap jewelry and avoid precious metals like gold or diamonds. Their appearance is wholly unkempt and they mask their unwashed bodily odors with patchouli oil, incense or other fragrances. Eastern religion is something hippies often try, but usually hold very little allegiance to. They will pretend to be a Buddhist Monk or a Zen Master for they love the arrogant titles, as well as the trinkets and idols crammed onto their bookshelves. The time required to study these foreign rituals, however, usually proves too trying on their limited patience. True faith frightens them beyond belief and usually pushes them to light up another marijuana joint.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 5:35 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I find it hilarious that there's apparently a significant, recognizable visual difference between "hippies" and "crusty/gutter punks."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:36 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

irregardless!
posted by molecicco at 5:43 PM on May 13, 2011

Am I the only one who these days is losing my ability to detect parody?

This line is getting rather blurry.
posted by Sportbilly at 5:47 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

I find it hilarious that there's apparently a significant, recognizable visual difference between "hippies" and "crusty/gutter punks."

Different music, different drugs.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 5:47 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

Heehee I couldn't get beyond the first paragraph because I kept laughing. Then I came back to read it was satire. Whew! I thought it was just the Friday Margaritas!
posted by sio42 at 5:48 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

As a group, they are the chief proponents of public nudism in this country. Possibly due to their immense consumption of psychedelics, they take great pride in showing off their unathletic, unshaven bodies at beaches, camps and even in our village squares. Why must they flaunt all that shamelessness and frighten the goodly amongst us? It is horrifically terrifying. So many beaches have become off limits to Christian families because of their flamboyant displays of debaucherous flesh, carnal and curvy, tan lines nonexistent.

Yeah, this is a parody.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:52 PM on May 13, 2011

But let them go out of control and you get the Manson Family or an anti-human apocalypse.

Wow! How's the weather up there on Mount Head Stuck Really Far Up Backside?
posted by loquacious at 5:54 PM on May 13, 2011

They will pretend to be a Buddhist Monk or a Zen Master for they love the arrogant titles ...

I resemble that remark.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:56 PM on May 13, 2011 [5 favorites]

> Most of that article was bullshit but this was right:

Considering you got taken in by a parody website, you have made me laugh in a way that you probably weren't planning to, good job there. This is like getting forwarded an Onion article by someone thinking it was real.
posted by mrzarquon at 5:56 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

"let them go out of control and you get the Manson Family or an anti-human apocalypse."

[Lovecraft in Brooklyn: This thread is not your anti-hippie soapbox.]
posted by dunkadunc at 5:58 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Why do hippies still exist in America? They don't. But many young people wish to emulate them. And so there they are. Hippies were a part of a culture which no longer exists. Part of a world that no longer exists. Part of a state of mind that may, very well still exist, but is no longer valid. Instead of being a 60s wannabe, youth culture should start its own movement. And they might want to research the roots of the culture, instead of just wrapping themselves in the trappings of the culture like a cargo cult.

Yes. You read a bit of bitterness there. Sorry. But I am all for making your own way and creating your own zeitgeist instead of co-opting a failed paradigm. But if you just want to wear funny clothes and grow your hair long, maybe do drugs. Cool. But you're not a hippie. You're just a poser.
posted by Splunge at 6:06 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm a bit confused by this.

Is it a parody of those silly Christian conservatives because that how they see hippies (i.e. look at the smelly hippies at the Rainbow gathering? Ha ha!).

or

Is it a parody of hippies because it's largely true (i.e. look at the smelly hippies at the Rainbow gathering? Ha ha!).

I just want to be sure I'm laughing at the right people.
posted by astrobiophysican at 6:16 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

That dang hippie drug gives everybody the silly giggles.
posted by nickyskye at 6:22 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

^^

It's both.
posted by humboldt32 at 6:23 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

The fact that we are being dragged into a post-parody world by something called christwire.org is just golden.
posted by swift at 6:32 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Splunge: Historical Reenactors
posted by hydrophonic at 6:47 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I figured this was going to be some kind of evolution parody. "If Burners evolved from hippies, then how come there are still hippies?"
posted by hattifattener at 6:52 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

Am I the only one who these days is losing my ability to detect parody?

No, go look at the Huckabee History thread. People STILL think that was real. Idiots.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 6:55 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Splunge, there are plenty of hippies left in America. They're all sorts of ages, living on communes, raising food, believing in peace and love, and knowing their roots. They range in age from the very very young to the 60 year olds who never "outgrew" their beliefs. Rant all you want about kids these days and your lawn, but don't talk about what you don't know. These aren't people who are just growing their hair long and wearing funny clothes. They're good people who work hard and love even better. Maybe you've met a few faux hippies but don't let that sour you on people who are still working towards the world envisioned all those years ago. People may be co-opting hippie culture, but there are plenty of real, true, honorable hippies doing their thing.
posted by stoneweaver at 6:58 PM on May 13, 2011 [21 favorites]

Poe's law is still the best of the web. It wraps up LOLXTIANS and not-sure-if-trolling.jpg into one, along with the wonderful web sensation of unjustified outrage that fades once someone Googles the source.
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:58 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hippies may have let the perfect become the enemy of the good in a lot of ways, but do we really trust the Democrats and corporate America to really put us on the path towards progress? I'd rather have somebody on my side who moves the overton window too far to the left than an ally who wonders if they're not compromising enough or is more beholden to shareholders than the greater good or any sort of future longer than the current employees plan on staying with the company (looking at you, Wall Street).
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:03 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh goody, a thread full of hippie hate. Just what MetaFilter needed.

Anyway, the hippies do still exist in America. And they're not the youngsters which Splunge seems to think they are. And they're not the "barefoot gross ragged nature lovers" which draw the bigotry of Lovecraft In Brooklyn.

They're actually a scattered group of people, many tens of thousands strong who have worked to create a culture where the individual is respected as much as that individual is willing to contribute to the wellbeing of the group. They have their own views of government (no leaders, all are welcome to contribute, decisions are made by consensus) and their own views of trade (food resources should be pooled, labor should be rewarded by kindness, barter should be encouraged).

They have their own version of law enforcement, insofar as the peace must be kept even when there are no laws, per se. They have their own version of medical centers, even though they acknowledge the usefulness of herbal and some forms of Eastern medicine as much as they may turn to pills and shots.

They seek to tread lightly on the world while they exist, and are more skilled at living a life away from what most would call civilization while still maintaining a great deal of style and luxury. They know more about safe water and food hygiene practices without requiring a modern kitchen facility than nearly anyone else I've ever met.

They know how to have a good time that doesn't require electronics, and they work hard to create joy they can share with others in random and surprising ways and settings. They can party together for weeks on end, in numbers sometimes reaching twenty thousand, and leave the land behind them bearing few lasting scars from their presence.

Anyone who is willing to leave Babylon and return Home has the opportunity to do so every year during the first week of July. You can find out more details here. Although, I will tell you, the experience isn't like anything your life has prepared you for so far. It's in my neighborhood this year, and I can hardly wait.

Honestly, for myself, I never would have dared to call myself a hippie, even after more than a couple of years attending that gathering. But then, early in the year of 1997, as plans were being made for the 30th Anniversary Concert for the Summer Of Love, I happened to be at a party in SF and met Chet Helms, and he called me a hippie. I've worn the label with pride ever since.
posted by hippybear at 7:05 PM on May 13, 2011 [11 favorites]

mosk: Any Hunter S. Thompson quote should end with "Also, you are now reading this in my voice."
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:06 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

"The Phish" *chuckle*
posted by Gronk at 7:08 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

They want to tear down civilization and replace it with a 'chilled out' drug orgy.

Hee hee. Oh wait, you were serious? Maybe you should go to some chilled out drug orgies and, you know, chill.

But you weren't serious.

Right?

Oh God, I can't even tell anymore.
posted by emjaybee at 7:09 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

On a personal level, a hippie can be defined as a person who will abuse drugs until the day he or she dies, irregardless of health issues or pleas from their children.

I think these people would better be described as drug addicts.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 7:10 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Homer: "Lisa, Am I a hippie?"
Lisa: "Well, you're lazy and self-righteous and have dirty feet."
posted by jonmc at 7:13 PM on May 13, 2011 [5 favorites]

I've known quite a few Rainbow hippies and that excerpt Lovecraft posted is bang on. I would also like to add that hippies are the most nakedly hierarchical animals I've ever observed and frequently peck lower caste individuals to death leaving behind only a smear of feathers and grease.
posted by fleetmouse at 7:32 PM on May 13, 2011

stoneweaver: "Splunge, there are plenty of hippies left in America. They're all sorts of ages, living on communes, raising food, believing in peace and love, and knowing their roots. They range in age from the very very young to the 60 year olds who never "outgrew" their beliefs. Rant all you want about kids these days and your lawn, but don't talk about what you don't know. These aren't people who are just growing their hair long and wearing funny clothes. They're good people who work hard and love even better. Maybe you've met a few faux hippies but don't let that sour you on people who are still working towards the world envisioned all those years ago. People may be co-opting hippie culture, but there are plenty of real, true, honorable hippies doing their thing."

I think we're talking across each other. I'm not putting down the people you are talking about. I am agreeing with you. Okay?
posted by Splunge at 7:42 PM on May 13, 2011

What's orange and looks good on hippies?

A nice tie.
posted by hydrophonic at 7:44 PM on May 13, 2011

Instead of being a 60s wannabe, youth culture should start its own movement. And they might want to research the roots of the culture, instead of just wrapping themselves in the trappings of the culture like a cargo cult.

They did, and then you all called them hipsters and shitted all over them. Just like your parents.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:48 PM on May 13, 2011 [13 favorites]

thsmchnekllsfascists: "Instead of being a 60s wannabe, youth culture should start its own movement. And they might want to research the roots of the culture, instead of just wrapping themselves in the trappings of the culture like a cargo cult.

They did, and then you all called them hipsters and shitted all over them. Just like your parents."

What? When did I call them hipsters? WTF?
posted by Splunge at 7:52 PM on May 13, 2011

What? When did I call them hipsters? WTF?

Splunge: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you out on this specifically. We've talked before, and I know that you're a pretty cool dude. That said, the whole:

But many young people wish to emulate them. And so there they are. Hippies were a part of a culture which no longer exists.

is a constant refrain from the "get off my lawn" crowd. I'm sure that I misinterpreted you, but I just want people to know that there are creative young people who are building their own scenes. There are young people making their own art, music, and cuture, and it's awesome.

AND honestly, if they take a few cues from the smelly-ass hippies, I really won't mind. Those guys were usually really happy.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:00 PM on May 13, 2011

I wasn't counting on Metafilter to have a hippie hate-on. Christ.
posted by dunkadunc at 8:01 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I wasn't counting on Metafilter to have a hippie hate-on. Christ.

I kno rite?
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:03 PM on May 13, 2011

Christwire is not as funny as Landover Baptist, but it has a darker, meaner heart. This is not a criticism.

Wait... you smart MeFi folks do know that it's a satirical site, right?
posted by Decani at 8:20 PM on May 13, 2011

DFH!
posted by charlie don't surf at 8:20 PM on May 13, 2011

Also, the only good hippie is a dead hippie. And they don't even smell any different.
posted by Decani at 8:20 PM on May 13, 2011

are actually gutter punk kids and not hippies.

"I was a punk before you were a punk!"
posted by ovvl at 8:22 PM on May 13, 2011

While we're not picking up on satire, here's Hallelujah Johnson. You're welcome.

If you don't like this, you've never lived in Franklin, OH.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:24 PM on May 13, 2011

Wandervogel.
posted by ovvl at 8:26 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't know much about Franklin, but my mother is from Columbus and my father is from Coshocton County and they went to school at Muskingum...

It's kind of that area, anyway....
posted by hippybear at 8:27 PM on May 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't know much about Franklin, but my mother is from Columbus and my father is from Coshocton County and they went to school at Muskingum...

Franklin, OH is where OH rednecks go to plug up on coke and punch women. /derail
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 8:29 PM on May 13, 2011

It's probably also important to point out in this thread that Wavy Gravy is still alive and still doing his hippie thing.
posted by hippybear at 8:30 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

They came for the shoeless, but I wore shoes...

They came for the shoeless and tie-dyed, but I was pretty solidly purple...

They came for the MeFites and DAMMIT I GUESS I NEVER WANTED ALL THOSE STUPID SHOES ANYWAY...
posted by deep thought sunstar at 8:32 PM on May 13, 2011

he's an old hippie and he don't know what to do

and wavy gravy? - i met him once - and he's the coolest person i ever met
posted by pyramid termite at 8:35 PM on May 13, 2011

Wavy Gravy pretty much embodies the classic definition of "groovy".
posted by hippybear at 8:39 PM on May 13, 2011

The first couple lines had me thinking they were describing how Rome probably thought of early christers. Whew! glad that was parody
posted by Redhush at 8:42 PM on May 13, 2011

If you want to hear what the hippies of the time were doing to mock themselves... find The Firesign Theatre's "Waiting For The Electrician Or Someone Like Him".

The first side of the album looks at US history through a satiric hippie lens. Temporarily Humboldt County looks at America's past... W.C. Fields Forever looks at the present (well, the 1967 present, anyway), and Le Trente-Huit Cunegonde looks at the future of the US if the hippies have their way.

Sadly, I can't find quality online links for listening to any of these except for the first segment, Temporarily Humboldt County.

And if this is your first exposure to Firesign Theatre... Welcome! Shoes For Industry!
posted by hippybear at 8:50 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

hippybear: "If you want to hear what the hippies of the time were doing to mock themselves... find The Firesign Theatre's "Waiting For The Electrician Or Someone Like Him". "

I used to listen to that as a kid. FUCKING HILARIOUS.
posted by dunkadunc at 8:51 PM on May 13, 2011

Hippies may have let the perfect become the enemy of the good in a lot of ways, but do we really trust the Democrats and corporate America to really put us on the path towards progress?

My problem with the nature-lovers/hippies is that they attack progress.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:04 PM on May 13, 2011

The fact that people are finding it difficult to detect that it's a parody says more about what it's parodying than the parody itself.
posted by WalterMitty at 9:04 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

Oh, and I just found another topic Metafilter doesn't do well, besides weightlifting, Palestine and reasonable discussions about politics.
posted by WalterMitty at 9:05 PM on May 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

and wavy gravy? - i met him once - and he's the coolest person i ever met

Got his name from BB King. It's slang for women's genitalia. Got an ice cream named after himself. As a result, people were eating ice cream named after women's genitalia.

I could pretty much die happy after that.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:11 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

My problem with the nature-lovers/hippies is that they attack progress.

Okay, first off, "attacking progress" is a huge sweeping statement which actually has no real meaning other than sounding impressive. Second, that's a broad stereotyping of hippies, and while it may be true in your limited experience, it isn't actually the stance of any of the hippies I know.
posted by hippybear at 9:17 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

It's very well written, parody or not. I was laughing out loud and reading parts to my husband.

That said, I just can't associate dreadlocks with hippies. Hippies have traditionally had such beautiful flowing hair, and dreadlocking is so destructive to long hair.
posted by jb at 9:29 PM on May 13, 2011

Metafilter: The fact that people are finding it difficult to detect that it's a parody says more about what it's parodying than the parody itself.
posted by perspicio at 9:49 PM on May 13, 2011

Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.
Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.

--Kris Kristofferson

posted by No Robots at 9:56 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

"Hippie" suffers from lack of a clear definition. Abbie Hoffman has very little in common with Jerry Garcia, except to people who hate hippies and people who pretend to be them. In fact I've always assumed the term was coined by a popular media that didn't really know what to make of a broad cultural shift that was going on without their understanding or control. It is only useful as a broad descriptor, and then only to Squares.

To me, what's meaningful about being a "hippie" is the same as what's meaningful about being "punk." I'm too old to know what's meaningful about being "hipster" but I am quite certain there are young people who share the same values as hippies and punks, whatever they call themselves.

So whenever someone is square enough to want to know if I'm a hippie, the answer is yes, absolutely.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:59 PM on May 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

"Hippie" suffers from lack of a clear definition.

A clear definition is a coffin-suit.

Just ask the Democrats...the Republicans...the hippies...the blacks....
posted by perspicio at 10:14 PM on May 13, 2011

L7's
posted by clavdivs at 10:44 PM on May 13, 2011

I don't know much about Franklin, but my mother is from Columbus and my father is from Coshocton County and they went to school at Muskingum...

Whoooooaaaaaaaaaa, flashback.
posted by adamdschneider at 11:09 PM on May 13, 2011

What I am about to show you next may shock and educate you. Hold onto your values as we step through the looking glass into a hippie pot party.

While Johnny Welfare plays acid rock on a stolen guitar, his old lady has a better idea. That's right, she's got the "munchies" for a "California Cheeseburger."
posted by Ratio at 12:27 AM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Everytime the internet goes on a pitchfork and torches walk against sub-culture de jour, I feel hurt. Then I realize that I have more in common with the group being denigrated than I do with the internet hate squad. Then I wonder if I am hanging out with the wrong crowd.
posted by psycho-alchemy at 12:49 AM on May 14, 2011 [7 favorites]

Lovecraft in Brooklyn, I respect you as a fellow mefite and I like what you post. But I'm going to have to call you the fuck out on this. The pejorative 'hippie' is like 'hipster' is like 'liberal', which is like every other pejorative: it shuts down the conversation. Labels, and specifically Socio-political labels, and their respective memes such as "dirtyness", "smugness", "communiss", and "pbr-drinkeness", are inherently divisive and inhibit the flow of information between two parties.

they attack progress.

Nothing attacks progress more than making someone a label and then disregarding them.
posted by special agent conrad uno at 1:12 AM on May 14, 2011 [13 favorites]

My problem with the nature-lovers/hippies is that they attack progress.

LiB: My problem with many of your statements is that you speak in absolutes from an apparent position of total ignorance.

Define the following:
-"hippie"
-"attack"
-"progress".
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 1:59 AM on May 14, 2011

Metafilter:a fluid-drenched intergeneration erotic encounter in some disused graveyard.
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:57 AM on May 14, 2011

His Thoughts Were Red Thoughts: I use 'hippie' in a deliberately reductive way to describe anyone with pro-nature or pro-animal policies. Our Prime Minister has little in common with the university hippies I know personally but they have both advanced animal and environmental welfare. The idea is to tar them with the same brush.
I'm not sure where I acquired this shock-jock mindset. I should probably try and go on talk radio.

Most people I know fall somewhere on the hippie/hipster spectrum.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:15 AM on May 14, 2011

Pro nature? Jesus dude. Time to get out of Brooklyn.
posted by nathancaswell at 5:48 AM on May 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Brooklyn is a refuge from nature.
posted by telstar at 6:55 AM on May 14, 2011

I use 'hippie' in a deliberately reductive way to describe anyone with pro-nature or pro-animal policies.

Ah, so you're working from an entirely false definition, then. Well, at least we now know where you're wrong. Maybe someday you'll be open to being educated about your error and can move beyond your bullshit into a more enlightened view.
posted by hippybear at 7:22 AM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Just turn off a few lights and he'll be so terrified of the impending end of human progress as we know it that he'll have to stop arguing and bivouac with his modernity.

You know what else "attacks" progress? Assuming that we can or should only go in one direction at all times. Sometimes, surprisingly enough, people from the dirty evil non-futuristic past actually did things better than we do now.
posted by sonascope at 7:28 AM on May 14, 2011 [5 favorites]

The moment I saw the second group of photos I knew it had to be parody. Those women wouldn't turn me away from a Rainbow Gathering.

It was as if they were touting the evils of alcohol and smart, one-line quips by showing clips of "The Thin Man."
posted by Johnny Hazard at 7:32 AM on May 14, 2011

Most people I know fall somewhere on the hippie/hipster spectrum.

And seriously? Did you really just use the "some of my friends are gay" defense for your hateful statements? Nice.
posted by hippybear at 7:38 AM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Yes, how could anyone impugn those gentlefolk who bravely stood for peace, love, and privilege? In their beautiful innocence, how could they have known that their politics of self-indulgence and wilful ignorance would lead not to revoultion but to Reagan? How can we blame them for joining the squares when the squares kept all the bread and wouldn't share? Imagine the countless New Yorker stories that never would have been had hippies not spawned multitudinous children, writers-to-be, whose abandonment after becoming obstacles to the self-actualization of their groovy parents provided endless grist for the creative mill? They are truly children of the earth, long may they thrive.
posted by generalist at 8:01 AM on May 14, 2011

What is a shock-jock but an audio troll?
posted by perspicio at 8:56 AM on May 14, 2011

My problem with the nature-lovers/hippies is that they attack progress.

i'm not sure i'd define what's happened in this country since 1967 as progress
posted by pyramid termite at 9:11 AM on May 14, 2011

Isn't 'anti-nature' and 'anti-animal' kind of like 'anti-choice'?
posted by box at 10:01 AM on May 14, 2011

Christwire.org, what an asshole.
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:38 AM on May 14, 2011

Ha! He said irregardless.
posted by DonnyMac at 11:45 AM on May 14, 2011

Wow, there's some purple prose, innit?
1. Hatred: ≠aversion
2. Anti-societal: Codeword for our values. Real hippies don't groove on hate, man.
3. Marijuana-loving: Make love not war. If you're not a head you're behind. Anyway, MJ is passe. (Don't bogart that other stuff, my friend)
4. Civil liberation types. All god's chillum just wanna be free, yo. I grok you've been deliberating.
5. New generation is indoctrinated: Today is the 759th anniversary of the Papal Bull authorizing torture of heretics. Where's that in the NT again?
6. a teenage fashion fad from the 1960s: A-ha-ha. Purple prose dabbler.

What a rush!
posted by Twang at 11:56 AM on May 14, 2011

Friends, I want to talk to you about the pro-animal agenda. Can you imagine Honey Badgers teaching your child LOLspeak? Your lovely daughter, married to an owl? You won't get that promotion. They gave it to a whale.
posted by gamera at 11:56 AM on May 14, 2011 [8 favorites]

Migratory birds should be deported back to wherever they came from!
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:59 AM on May 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

hippybear: Gotta go with Bozos, man, more memorable lines. "When you put on the nose, it grows." "Always nice to see you ... uh, Clem." "Hey Pablo? He broke the President!"
posted by Twang at 12:13 PM on May 14, 2011

I think that from now on I'm going to call people who label other people "labeloids" and that's the only label I'll ever use to describe people. You're either a labeloid or you're not a labeloid. If you are a labeloid, you can stop by not labeling people; if you're not a labeloid, you need to be aware of how easy it is to start being a labeloid, which means always trying to be aware of your own behavior, which I'm thinking more and more is the single most important trait anybody can have.

"Not a labeloid" doesn't say much about you, where you're from, what things you like, and so you can't really use it to define yourself, which means if you want people to get to know you you're going to have to actually talk to them, instead of just talking about yourself in the middle of a room hoping other people care.

Lovecraft in Brooklyn: My problem with the nature-lovers/hippies is that they attack progress.
Lovecraft in Brooklyn: I use 'hippie' in a deliberately reductive way to describe anyone with pro-nature or pro-animal policies.

LiB, you're in my MetaFilter Top 500, but I think that this is a very silly way of thinking, and more than a little bit hurtful. I think it's silly, first off, to slur "pro-nature" or "pro-animal" as a bad thing. Like, what parts of nature do you dislike? Mountains? Forests? Valleys? Canyons? And which animals? I can understand disliking gnats and fleas and scabies but how about dogs and horses and dolphins? I'm not asking if you want dogs and horses and dolphins in your bedroom — you've got a right to a space where you decide which things go where — but haven't you ever petted a dog or ridden a horse or seen a row of dolphin fins in the ocean? Animals are awesome! Nature is awesome!

Also the idea that "progress" is a line mankind's got to burn into the earth, and if you're against the burning then you're somehow anti-everything-moving-forward. That's silly. Loads of progress happens without animals and nature dying. You can like trees and iPads simultaneously. You can enjoy the environment and also enjoy trains or whatever. In fact, there're a whole bunch of people asking questions like: How can I browse MetaFilter without endorsing the destruction of rain forests and the slaughter of Chinese labor? Or: How can I enjoy the delicious taste of meat without ruining everything for everybody? Or: Can I live in a tree fort? I hope you don't think liking tree forts is being anti-progress, because dude, tree forts are fucking awesome.

In fact, the craziness is that maybe progress is the answer to these questions! Maybe if we get even smarter we can build, say, cities that are somehow also nature, or methods of transportation that don't destroy the skies, or huge meat vats which grow super delicious meat that never belonged to a cow. Which would mean those cows would be alive for us to tip. And we could grow mushrooms in their poop or something.

Which is why a lot of people you'd call "hippies" are gravitating towards things like politics and science and business. It's because — wait for your mind to be blown — hippies like progress too. But their idea of progress isn't "let's destroy everything", it's more, "let's curb some of our more destructive behaviors so that we can develop technology that lets us behave that way without destroying everything". Solar-powered cars so that we don't use as much gas or something. This isn't exactly my area of expertise. But maybe if we use less gas, not only are we saving nature but we're also saving money on gas! And wars to get oil! Progress! And shit like that.

I'm totally with you in that I'm a fan of human civilization, even the silly parts, and I'd rather live in an apartment than in a cave. But I think that civilization could do a lot more to save things that are truly beautiful — I'd trade every song I ever heard if it meant having more meadows to lie in and forests to explore — and I feel like except for building space ships, most of human "progress" right now is going to be less "let's build huge enormous things that blow other things up" and more "let's build things that do what we do right now but even cleaner and better".

But even more importantly, when you start dismissing every single person who thinks a certain way by calling them names, then you make it really hard to talk to those people, and also you alienate people who like those names you're making derogatory. So, cut that out, please. :-)
posted by Rory Marinich at 12:20 PM on May 14, 2011 [7 favorites]

Oh, and about the hippies. My experience growing up in the western US and Canada was that hippies were a sort of quality of life indicator species. Places with hippies had things I liked like decent bookstores and good cheap restaurants and indie cinemas and art galleries. So no hippy hate for me.
posted by gamera at 12:25 PM on May 14, 2011 [5 favorites]

Which is why a lot of people you'd call "hippies" are gravitating towards things like politics and science and business. It's because — wait for your mind to be blown — hippies like progress too. But their idea of progress isn't "let's destroy everything", it's more, "let's curb some of our more destructive behaviors so that we can develop technology that lets us behave that way without destroying everything".

Most of what is awesome about computers these days was developed by hippies.

And if you want truly awesome travel options, check out hippie-founded businesses like Green Tortoise. And there's always Ben & Jerry's, who pretty much rule ice cream.

Progress takes many forms, and a lot of the better visions come from the hippies.
posted by hippybear at 12:42 PM on May 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

for hippy-founded ice-cream, there are a lot of preservatives in their ingredients. I prefer hagan daas, which has less gum, etc.
posted by jb at 12:48 PM on May 14, 2011

I sometimes baffle at Lovecraft in Brooklyn's extreme hatred of nature. Then I remember that he lives in Australia, where every single living entity is poisonous to a hilarious degree.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:54 PM on May 14, 2011 [4 favorites]

Being pro-nature, especially if you're gonna crow about it, should certainly preclude moving back to the land or living in a commune anywhere that isn't a major metropolis.
posted by generalist at 12:59 PM on May 14, 2011

Lovecraft in Brooklyn does not, in fact, live in Brooklyn.
posted by !Jim at 1:06 PM on May 14, 2011

Lovecraft in Brooklyn does not, in fact, live in Brooklyn.

Whether or not he's a cuttlefish-faced horror from beyond the comprehension of humans is still undetermined.
posted by hippybear at 1:11 PM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

I sometimes baffle at Lovecraft in Brooklyn's extreme hatred of nature. Then I remember that he lives in Australia, where every single living entity is poisonous to a hilarious degree.

I'm pretty sure that the entire continent is trying to kill all Australians.

Being pro-nature, especially if you're gonna crow about it, should certainly preclude moving back to the land or living in a commune anywhere that isn't a major metropolis.

I think there's a pretty decent argument for the sustainability of high-density living.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 1:16 PM on May 14, 2011

Yeah, too many negatives there and it was an unnecessary comment besides, but I was saying that big cities are the place to be if you really want to limit your footprint.
posted by generalist at 1:28 PM on May 14, 2011

My bad. I had a brain fart and interpreted "preclude" 100% backwards.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 1:35 PM on May 14, 2011

big cities are the place to be if you really want to limit your footprint

The real hippies have always acknowledged the necessity of banding together to produce shared resources in order to be most efficient with one's use of the world in which we live.
posted by hippybear at 1:44 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

You guys must know the wrong hippies.

Wow! How's the weather up there on Mount Head Stuck Really Far Up Backside?

_{probably pretty shitty}
posted by codacorolla at 1:48 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wait, Ben and Jerry's is a hippie thing?

They've won the war and I never even realized until just now.
posted by Rory Marinich at 3:18 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

What the fuck is that site? The recent articles include "Is your wife buying 'Anal Juice' at the store?"
posted by bendy at 5:52 PM on May 14, 2011

I think that from now on I'm going to call people who label other people "labeloids" and that's the only label I'll ever use to describe people.

This is absolutely from now on my first response to every Metafilter comment that annoys me.
posted by shakespeherian at 6:06 PM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]

Some hippies are dumb and smell and have terrible gross clothes and listen to shit ass music, some hippies are awesome and listen to terrific music and their houses always smell like lemony air and they have nice hand carved wooden bowls full of tart little apples and they hand you half a joint of blueberry headbanger boogie without even being asked and are down to walk all the way to the waterfall and look at trout for an hour, that's just the way of the world.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:28 PM on May 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Okay, I'm gonna dust off my mefite-muscles and have an honest go at this:

Metafilter: Some hippies mefites are dumb and smell and have terrible gross clothes and listen to shit ass music, some hippies mefites are awesome and listen to terrific music and their houses always smell like lemony air and they have nice hand carved wooden bowls full of tart little apples and they hand you half a joint of blueberry headbanger boogie without even being asked and are down to walk all the way to the waterfall and look at trout for an hour, that's just the way of the world.

Labels are toxic.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 6:40 PM on May 14, 2011

From the article:

"About The Author
Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children's Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!"

Christ on a cracker! I for one have been thoroughly entertained.
posted by sneebler at 7:13 PM on May 14, 2011

I sometimes baffle at Lovecraft in Brooklyn's extreme hatred of nature. Then I remember that he lives in Australia, where every single living entity is poisonous to a hilarious degree.

And yet Australians still love and praise nature. People will tell me of how much they love the country, despite most of it being desert and sheep. There are people who fight to protect the sharks that have killed their loved ones! It's bizarre.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:35 PM on May 15, 2011

MeFi does the same jokes/discussion every time Christwire features in an FPP.

lol, it says "irregardless". (Feb 2010)
Ha! He said irregardless. (May 2011)

The "christian" blog is definitely parody. (March 2009)
ChristWire is a satire website. (Feb 2010)
"Like similar satire websites, Christwire's stories have sometimes erroneously been taken at face value." (May 2011)
posted by vidur at 10:43 PM on May 15, 2011

That's okay. My views are the same as Stephen Colbert's fake ones, so where else would I post them?
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 1:17 AM on May 16, 2011