In the future, you get love by video.
May 14, 2011 9:41 PM Subscribe
"I Am Your Grandma." (Time-capsule SLYT)
no no no no no no
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 9:45 PM on May 14, 2011
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 9:45 PM on May 14, 2011
Holy shit, giant baby head! I expect I'll be seeing you again a few hours after I go to sleep.
posted by phunniemee at 9:46 PM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 9:46 PM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]
This is a special message from em to you hermitosis, listen close, shhh....quiet...quiet shhh
I AM YOUR GRANDFATHER
posted by The Whelk at 9:46 PM on May 14, 2011
I AM YOUR GRANDFATHER
posted by The Whelk at 9:46 PM on May 14, 2011
Potentially the scariest thing on the internet.
posted by Mizu at 9:49 PM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Mizu at 9:49 PM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]
May 15, 2011, the day I'm finally convinced the internet means something.
posted by The Whelk at 9:53 PM on May 14, 2011
posted by The Whelk at 9:53 PM on May 14, 2011
There was no noodle kugel involved, so guess what, scary lady? You ain't my grandma.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:03 PM on May 14, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by BitterOldPunk at 10:03 PM on May 14, 2011 [6 favorites]
2 users marked this as creepy as fuck
posted by cashman at 10:04 PM on May 14, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by cashman at 10:04 PM on May 14, 2011 [6 favorites]
Oh man, trolling the future.
The bar has been set.
posted by Wanderlust88 at 10:07 PM on May 14, 2011 [12 favorites]
The bar has been set.
posted by Wanderlust88 at 10:07 PM on May 14, 2011 [12 favorites]
I assumed I was going to hate this (I'm a hater) but oh my goodness it was WONDERFUL CREEPY.
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 10:10 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by two or three cars parked under the stars at 10:10 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
This was delightful. I expected dopey sentimentality, and was instead treated to a heaping platter of awesome (With costumes!)
posted by Zephyrial at 10:18 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Zephyrial at 10:18 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
This was amazing. I loved it so much I put it on facebook. Then my wife came in here and beat the crap out of me with a cardboard tube.
posted by Stunt at 10:31 PM on May 14, 2011 [14 favorites]
posted by Stunt at 10:31 PM on May 14, 2011 [14 favorites]
Horrid crying baby head costs $250, but the distress to those around you is worth ten times that.
posted by Scram at 10:36 PM on May 14, 2011 [14 favorites]
posted by Scram at 10:36 PM on May 14, 2011 [14 favorites]
Needs trigger warning.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:36 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Bookhouse at 10:36 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
More accurately, "I am who your grandma once was (when on drugs)"
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:40 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:40 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Thank god for cheap Polaroid cameras cause when my mom has a fight about my brother owning a bong I can whip out a book of treasured memories and go "Oh is this you doing lines with Mark Mothersbaugh in what I can only assume is a very short wine deniem miniskirt?" and then the issue goes away.
posted by The Whelk at 10:44 PM on May 14, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:44 PM on May 14, 2011 [2 favorites]
Thanks for the suggestion! Now I know how I'm going to Rickroll all my heirs when my attorney shows a video of my final wishes.
posted by J.W. at 10:56 PM on May 14, 2011
posted by J.W. at 10:56 PM on May 14, 2011
wtf? The most disturbing thing is that someday, she might actually be a grandmother, and of course the grandchild will see this video, and said child will never sleep again.
posted by zachlipton at 11:06 PM on May 14, 2011
posted by zachlipton at 11:06 PM on May 14, 2011
You may be my grandma, but I am your pussy.
posted by Nomyte at 11:10 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Nomyte at 11:10 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Really stupid.
But I want that baby mask.
posted by chococat at 11:51 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
But I want that baby mask.
posted by chococat at 11:51 PM on May 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Thanks for scaring the crap out if me Grandma!
posted by scunning at 3:43 AM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by scunning at 3:43 AM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
Loved this comment ...
Is there NOTHING I wouldn't masturbate to?
hawiiancanetoad 11 hours ago 77
posted by thinkpiece at 4:00 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
Is there NOTHING I wouldn't masturbate to?
hawiiancanetoad 11 hours ago 77
posted by thinkpiece at 4:00 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
On Saturday, honest to god, I spent all day interviewing my octogenarian grandparents on both sides of my family, to hear them tell stories about growing up in the 1930s as subsistence farmers, about playing prairie-league baseball in the 1940s, about being on a troop train headed for San Francisco when WWII ended, about all the houses in a small North Dakota town built by my great-grandfather's own hands...
...and this video is Proof #1 why my grandparents are so, so happy that, at the level of technology at the time, they could not so easily make a permanent record of their narcissistic, self-indulgent 20-something selves.
posted by AzraelBrown at 5:47 AM on May 15, 2011 [3 favorites]
...and this video is Proof #1 why my grandparents are so, so happy that, at the level of technology at the time, they could not so easily make a permanent record of their narcissistic, self-indulgent 20-something selves.
posted by AzraelBrown at 5:47 AM on May 15, 2011 [3 favorites]
I need to hear more about doing lines with Mark Mothersbaugh.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:54 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Meatbomb at 5:54 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
What I love most is that I was just about to post this with nearly the exact same wording. I like that there are some things that just need to be allowed to describe themselves without editorial comment.
posted by quin at 6:15 AM on May 15, 2011
posted by quin at 6:15 AM on May 15, 2011
Lady Gaga just got pwned.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:44 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 6:44 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
this post was worth it just because I found out who Gong are.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:49 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:49 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
Why does Nana hate me?
posted by vitabellosi at 7:12 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by vitabellosi at 7:12 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
Mayer’s experiment in familial documentation reveals a dark side: a question of artifice at the crux of preserving her identity. The envisioned success of Mayer’s virtual self as a surrogate grandmother arises from her childhood immersion in American television. Conditioned to accept as reality the indexical reading of sitcoms and advertisements, Mayer fashions for her grandchildren a similarly eclipsed version of herself.
I thought this was an interesting conception. I do wish performance artists were better at stripping away the artificiality of their own language, though, because the combination of colorful adjectives and nouns meant I had to read that three times before I was sure if it was bullshit or actual artistic intent.
posted by Rory Marinich at 7:23 AM on May 15, 2011
I thought this was an interesting conception. I do wish performance artists were better at stripping away the artificiality of their own language, though, because the combination of colorful adjectives and nouns meant I had to read that three times before I was sure if it was bullshit or actual artistic intent.
posted by Rory Marinich at 7:23 AM on May 15, 2011
Comparisons to Lady Gaga are silly, though, because Gaga is a pop musician and the purpose of being a pop musician is to be listened to by as many people as possible.
posted by Rory Marinich at 7:34 AM on May 15, 2011
posted by Rory Marinich at 7:34 AM on May 15, 2011
Rory I couldn't agree with you more... 99% of art writing is self-obfuscating-dressed-up-extraneous-counter-productive-alienating bullshit that reads like the first paper I wrote in 4th grade after discovering the thesaurus function in Lotus for OS/2 Warp.
posted by nathancaswell at 7:43 AM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by nathancaswell at 7:43 AM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
And I LIKE art and I loved this piece and have been spamming it to my friends for days... It just bums me out to read such overwrought garbage... the artists are really doing themselves a disservice. That kind of language is such a barrier and turn-off to most of the world.
posted by nathancaswell at 7:47 AM on May 15, 2011
posted by nathancaswell at 7:47 AM on May 15, 2011
I always read artists statment, and, when they read like that, ignore them.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:04 AM on May 15, 2011
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:04 AM on May 15, 2011
It's just unnecessary jargon. Once you translate it it makes sense, it's just annoying.
It's the equivalent of having your doctor tell you "You have a condition called rhinitis acuta catarrhalis. Administer an oral dose of Acetaminophen, Dextromethorphan and Doxylamine succinate and attempt to induce a state of reduced or absent consciousness, relatively suspended sensory activity, and inactivity of nearly all voluntary muscles for 12/24ths of the median Earth day."
posted by nathancaswell at 8:27 AM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
It's the equivalent of having your doctor tell you "You have a condition called rhinitis acuta catarrhalis. Administer an oral dose of Acetaminophen, Dextromethorphan and Doxylamine succinate and attempt to induce a state of reduced or absent consciousness, relatively suspended sensory activity, and inactivity of nearly all voluntary muscles for 12/24ths of the median Earth day."
posted by nathancaswell at 8:27 AM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
Artist statements are so weird, no one I know likes writing them or reading them yet they must exist. It's a strange bit a beaucratic theatre.
posted by The Whelk at 8:55 AM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 8:55 AM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
99% of art writing is self-obfuscating-dressed-up-extraneous-counter-productive-alienating bullshit that reads like the first paper I wrote in 4th grade after discovering the thesaurus function in Lotus for OS/2 Warp.
uhg, this is exactly why I ended up studying psychology at university instead of fine art - it drove me nuts to see people turning in pieces of crap that they threw together the night before, and still getting good marks because they made up some bullshit kissass statement to go with it.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:25 AM on May 15, 2011
uhg, this is exactly why I ended up studying psychology at university instead of fine art - it drove me nuts to see people turning in pieces of crap that they threw together the night before, and still getting good marks because they made up some bullshit kissass statement to go with it.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:25 AM on May 15, 2011
Artistic statements tend to be neither.
posted by Bookhouse at 11:47 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Bookhouse at 11:47 AM on May 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
This is creepy as fuck, but those costumes/facemasks are absolutely stupendous. The mirrored scalp one especially would be perfect in some sci-fi movie, but they all have this highly disconcerting appearance, like your mind goes searching for the face patterns and gets judo'ed onto its cerebral mat.
posted by hincandenza at 12:36 PM on May 15, 2011
posted by hincandenza at 12:36 PM on May 15, 2011
I really hope this starts a new trend of future grandmas freaking out the grandchildren.
posted by orme at 12:41 PM on May 15, 2011
posted by orme at 12:41 PM on May 15, 2011
Hopefully they won't start striking back once time travel is invented.
posted by neuromodulator at 2:16 PM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by neuromodulator at 2:16 PM on May 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
I bet my grandma put this on the internet to trick me into calling her.
Grandma - 1, Addelburgh - 0
posted by addelburgh at 5:48 PM on May 15, 2011
Grandma - 1, Addelburgh - 0
posted by addelburgh at 5:48 PM on May 15, 2011
I had to read that three times before I was sure if it was bullshit or actual artistic intent.
I looked up Indexical and I still have no idea what "reality the indexical reading of sitcoms and advertisements" is supposed to mean. I think maybe the author is using the word in a way that makes sense to her but isn't apparent to someone who just read the Wikipedia article (and it's a long article)
posted by delmoi at 7:58 PM on May 15, 2011
I looked up Indexical and I still have no idea what "reality the indexical reading of sitcoms and advertisements" is supposed to mean. I think maybe the author is using the word in a way that makes sense to her but isn't apparent to someone who just read the Wikipedia article (and it's a long article)
posted by delmoi at 7:58 PM on May 15, 2011
Grandma was in Liquid Sky?
posted by FatherDagon at 9:00 AM on May 16, 2011
posted by FatherDagon at 9:00 AM on May 16, 2011
Thank god for cheap Polaroid cameras cause when my mom has a fight about my brother owning a bong I can whip out a book of treasured memories and go "Oh is this you doing lines with Mark Mothersbaugh in what I can only assume is a very short wine denim miniskirt?" and then the issue goes away.
Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work that way with MY mom the hippie, who has been known to say stupid shit like "oh, today's pot's not nearly as strong as what we had in our day" upon overhearing (the Alex P. Keaton of the family, me) use "dude, what are you SMOKING?" as an interjection on the phone with a friend who was saying something idiotic.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 11:57 AM on May 16, 2011
Unfortunately, it doesn't quite work that way with MY mom the hippie, who has been known to say stupid shit like "oh, today's pot's not nearly as strong as what we had in our day" upon overhearing (the Alex P. Keaton of the family, me) use "dude, what are you SMOKING?" as an interjection on the phone with a friend who was saying something idiotic.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 11:57 AM on May 16, 2011
(I should add, she hasn't smoked any in years, hence her relative cluelessness about the modern stuff).
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:08 PM on May 16, 2011
posted by bitter-girl.com at 12:08 PM on May 16, 2011
Yeah, afaik it's the coke that sucks now. The weed is way better. Right oldtimers?
posted by nathancaswell at 12:17 PM on May 16, 2011
posted by nathancaswell at 12:17 PM on May 16, 2011
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posted by Glinn at 9:44 PM on May 14, 2011 [3 favorites]