No tights. No flights.
May 16, 2011 9:19 PM Subscribe
The popular WB/CW superhero soap Smallville has chronicled the life of Clark Kent for 10 years. Comic bloggers Chris Sims and David Uzumeri have celebrated by recapping the last season in a storm of magnificent snark.
You keep using that link. I do not think it goes where you think it goes.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 10:12 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by obiwanwasabi at 10:12 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Snark is easy. Satire is hard.
posted by inturnaround at 10:13 PM on May 16, 2011
posted by inturnaround at 10:13 PM on May 16, 2011
My bad. I see now that you were linking to the season recaps, not the finale recap. Carry on.
God, this is painful to read. I've just given up on there ever being any good Superman thing in any format ever. I'll just stick with the utterly inaccurate picture I have in my head instead.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 10:23 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
God, this is painful to read. I've just given up on there ever being any good Superman thing in any format ever. I'll just stick with the utterly inaccurate picture I have in my head instead.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 10:23 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
I watched Smallville when it first started. It reminded me of bad versions of some of my favorite X-Files episodes, the ones where Mulder and Scully would investigate bored teens with superpowers. There was one with a lovestruck boy who could control lightning and another with a cave that gave people superspeed. That plus Buffy plus homoerotic tension seemed to be Smallville.
I forgot about it, then found it was still on. They're airing Season 9 late at night in Australia and I found the dialogue to be literally cringe-worthy. It was almost impossible to listen to.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:26 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
I forgot about it, then found it was still on. They're airing Season 9 late at night in Australia and I found the dialogue to be literally cringe-worthy. It was almost impossible to listen to.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:26 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
It's no V.
posted by Artw at 10:31 PM on May 16, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by Artw at 10:31 PM on May 16, 2011 [6 favorites]
Oh my god this is hilarious. My favourite ones are the "classic" Smallville recaps, including the girls going Charmed and Clark ejaculating fire from his eyeballs.
They also tend to address the problem of Smallville being all about the male gaze, although it's clear that they only bother mentioning it when it is especially bad as it is otherwise like pointing out dew on individual blades of grass in the morning.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 10:34 PM on May 16, 2011
They also tend to address the problem of Smallville being all about the male gaze, although it's clear that they only bother mentioning it when it is especially bad as it is otherwise like pointing out dew on individual blades of grass in the morning.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 10:34 PM on May 16, 2011
obiwanwasabi: Try Superman For all Seasons, or All Star Superman (in comic or animated format.) I'm also partial to the Fleischer Brothers Cartoons from the 40's.
posted by KingEdRa at 10:34 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by KingEdRa at 10:34 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
I've just given up on there ever being any good Superman thing in any format ever. I'll just stick with the utterly inaccurate picture I have in my head instead.
posted by The Whelk at 10:34 PM on May 16, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:34 PM on May 16, 2011 [6 favorites]
obiwanwasabi: “God, this is painful to read. I've just given up on there ever being any good Superman thing in any format ever. I'll just stick with the utterly inaccurate picture I have in my head instead.”
I've always loathed Superman, personally; there's no drama I can see, since he not only is a flying alien but also has an ever-expending set of powers that seem to increase exponentially as DC sees fit. So... the only reason anybody ever dies in the Superman universe is because Superman is either a jerk or incompetent. Honestly, when you can read minds, when you're faster and smarter and everything-else-er than everybody in existence, what tension could there really be? And why would you ever fail?
So I've always wondered if Smallville, which I've never watched, recaptured some of that drama by actually making Superman vulnerable in some way. It seemed like a good way to go with the story. Still, like I said, I've never seen it. Is it really as good as the fans I meet say it is?
posted by koeselitz at 10:36 PM on May 16, 2011
I've always loathed Superman, personally; there's no drama I can see, since he not only is a flying alien but also has an ever-expending set of powers that seem to increase exponentially as DC sees fit. So... the only reason anybody ever dies in the Superman universe is because Superman is either a jerk or incompetent. Honestly, when you can read minds, when you're faster and smarter and everything-else-er than everybody in existence, what tension could there really be? And why would you ever fail?
So I've always wondered if Smallville, which I've never watched, recaptured some of that drama by actually making Superman vulnerable in some way. It seemed like a good way to go with the story. Still, like I said, I've never seen it. Is it really as good as the fans I meet say it is?
posted by koeselitz at 10:36 PM on May 16, 2011
My golden metric for a Superman thing is "can someone say 'O Superman! You've saved my life again!' totally straight."
posted by The Whelk at 10:40 PM on May 16, 2011
posted by The Whelk at 10:40 PM on May 16, 2011
Honestly, when you can read minds, when you're faster and smarter and everything-else-er than everybody in existence, what tension could there really be? And why would you ever fail?
I don't think Superman can read minds. That's the Martian Manhunter.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:43 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
I don't think Superman can read minds. That's the Martian Manhunter.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:43 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
So... the only reason anybody ever dies in the Superman universe is because Superman is either a jerk or incompetent.
It's well-established that Superman is a Dick.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:46 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
It's well-established that Superman is a Dick.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 10:46 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
Traditionally, you reflect this by having Superman held to a Much Higher Moral Standard Then Us mere Mortals. There's a few god Justice League episodes (the new one) dealing with the possibility of a more ....practical Superman (Hint, it means lobotomies) and why Batman keeps kryptonite close at hand.
Actually the Dini Justice League is pretty awesome for your all-ages Superman needs.
posted by The Whelk at 10:47 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
Actually the Dini Justice League is pretty awesome for your all-ages Superman needs.
posted by The Whelk at 10:47 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
but of course everyone knows Superman ended with What Ever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow?
posted by The Whelk at 10:50 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:50 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
I like Superman as a foil to Batman and as an impossible standard for everyone to live up to.
But I grew up with Marvel, who's flagship hero is a guy like me and who's most powerful characters aren't that popular.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:54 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
But I grew up with Marvel, who's flagship hero is a guy like me and who's most powerful characters aren't that popular.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 10:54 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
but of course everyone knows Superman ended with What Ever Happened To The Man Of Tomorrow?
Me, I like the end of All Star Superman and then DC One Million following on from it as my end of superman.
posted by Artw at 10:56 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Me, I like the end of All Star Superman and then DC One Million following on from it as my end of superman.
posted by Artw at 10:56 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Honestly, when you can read minds, when you're faster and smarter and everything-else-er than everybody in existence, what tension could there really be? And why would you ever fail?
This is a common complaint about Superman, but good writers find their way around it. Superman's weaknesses are psychological. He is hopelessly naive and moral, and incapable of assuming the worst in people. There's a reason that Batman always kicks Supe's ass.
posted by painquale at 10:57 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
This is a common complaint about Superman, but good writers find their way around it. Superman's weaknesses are psychological. He is hopelessly naive and moral, and incapable of assuming the worst in people. There's a reason that Batman always kicks Supe's ass.
posted by painquale at 10:57 PM on May 16, 2011 [3 favorites]
Yeah, the DC Animated Universe Superman is pretty good because it makes clear that although Superman is hugely powerful, he's terrified of those powers. Why? Because we live in a world made of cardboard.
posted by Rangeboy at 11:00 PM on May 16, 2011 [8 favorites]
posted by Rangeboy at 11:00 PM on May 16, 2011 [8 favorites]
I take Superman and other classic superheroes as modern mythologies, wide open for reinterpretation and serving as frameworks for many kinds of stories that reflect the zeitgeist of the storyteller's era.
posted by ZeusHumms at 11:03 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by ZeusHumms at 11:03 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
So... the only reason anybody ever dies in the Superman universe is because Superman is either a jerk or incompetent
. . . or he refuses the mantle and responsibility of god-hood that both his friends and foes ascribe to him. It took me me 25 years to figure out that the genius of the Superman character lies in the fact that all he really wants is to be normal and have a normal life, but his powers (and the responsibility that comes with them) make that impossible. Clark Kent isn't the caricture of humanity as seen by Superman (as Jules Ffeiffer argued years ago); Clark Kent is the ideal of humanity as seen by Superman.
posted by KingEdRa at 11:04 PM on May 16, 2011 [4 favorites]
. . . or he refuses the mantle and responsibility of god-hood that both his friends and foes ascribe to him. It took me me 25 years to figure out that the genius of the Superman character lies in the fact that all he really wants is to be normal and have a normal life, but his powers (and the responsibility that comes with them) make that impossible. Clark Kent isn't the caricture of humanity as seen by Superman (as Jules Ffeiffer argued years ago); Clark Kent is the ideal of humanity as seen by Superman.
posted by KingEdRa at 11:04 PM on May 16, 2011 [4 favorites]
Yeah, the DC Animated Universe Superman is pretty good because it makes clear that although Superman is hugely powerful, he's terrified of those powers. Why? Because we live in a world made of cardboard.
I like the stories in both Superman: The Animated Series and JLA where they underline how terrifying Superman is if he isn't scrupulously nice.
posted by Artw at 11:05 PM on May 16, 2011
I like the stories in both Superman: The Animated Series and JLA where they underline how terrifying Superman is if he isn't scrupulously nice.
posted by Artw at 11:05 PM on May 16, 2011
Clark Kent isn't the caricture of humanity as seen by Superman (as Jules Ffeiffer argued years ago);
Interesting how Beatrix of Kill Bill directly rejects this line of reasoning (literally it's the speech Bill gives her) to say, No, even the Super deserve the right to give up their mantel and be normal people.
posted by The Whelk at 11:08 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Interesting how Beatrix of Kill Bill directly rejects this line of reasoning (literally it's the speech Bill gives her) to say, No, even the Super deserve the right to give up their mantel and be normal people.
posted by The Whelk at 11:08 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
I like the stories in both Superman: The Animated Series and JLA where they underline how terrifying Superman is if he isn't scrupulously nice.
Superman is a thousand million atom bombs kept in check by his own scrupulous and distinct sense of morality and ethics.
how fucking terrifying is that?
posted by The Whelk at 11:09 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Superman gets up in fascist duds and builds statues of himself
posted by Artw at 11:23 PM on May 16, 2011
posted by Artw at 11:23 PM on May 16, 2011
A fair chunk of Moore's unproduced Twilight Of The Superheroes pitch is: well maybe Superman being God-King Of Earth is kind of a bad idea.
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 PM on May 16, 2011
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 PM on May 16, 2011
Once again, thinking that Superman is boring is a failure of imagination.
He does have a power set that pretty much dwarfs everybody but god's ever since the radio show and silver age. It's since been reduced and then expanded and changed numerous times. I think John Byrne took away his allergy to Kryptonite, but also greatly reduced his strength and got rid of things like superhypnosis (which is what he did to Lois in the movies) and superventriloquism.
If you think you can't write fun stories about a guy who can move planets and has a hideout in the antarctic with a door that can only be opened with a giant golden key that only he can lift, then you are lacking the fun-having part of your brain.
If you're saying he's boring because no one can beat him then you're ignoring the fact that he has at least three weaknesses (magic, kryptonite and red sunlight) and also one time a gray bony dude straight-up punched him to death. Also, no one can beat Batman. It's like, a thing. So what makes Batman less boring than Superman?
There's also just a ton of great Superman (and Superman analogue) stories out there. What KingEdRa said above, but also Alan Moore's Supreme, which is an ode to the Silver Age Superman and Mark Waid's Irredeemable which is basically what happens when Superman finally snaps from listening to all the shit that people say about him (because he can hear everything).
I'm now thinking about making an FPP about Superman for those who lack the imagination to consider the possibilities of a man who can fly and punch out the moon.
Oh, yeah, and Smallville was AWFUL. I mostly watched the last season out of perverse sense of completion and so that I could follow along with Sims' and Uzumeri's recaps. It's one of the few television shows where I can honestly say that I could do a better job writing it. (I thought the first season had some arresting visuals, but quickly got bogged down in freak of the week plots).
posted by runcibleshaw at 11:33 PM on May 16, 2011 [5 favorites]
He does have a power set that pretty much dwarfs everybody but god's ever since the radio show and silver age. It's since been reduced and then expanded and changed numerous times. I think John Byrne took away his allergy to Kryptonite, but also greatly reduced his strength and got rid of things like superhypnosis (which is what he did to Lois in the movies) and superventriloquism.
If you think you can't write fun stories about a guy who can move planets and has a hideout in the antarctic with a door that can only be opened with a giant golden key that only he can lift, then you are lacking the fun-having part of your brain.
If you're saying he's boring because no one can beat him then you're ignoring the fact that he has at least three weaknesses (magic, kryptonite and red sunlight) and also one time a gray bony dude straight-up punched him to death. Also, no one can beat Batman. It's like, a thing. So what makes Batman less boring than Superman?
There's also just a ton of great Superman (and Superman analogue) stories out there. What KingEdRa said above, but also Alan Moore's Supreme, which is an ode to the Silver Age Superman and Mark Waid's Irredeemable which is basically what happens when Superman finally snaps from listening to all the shit that people say about him (because he can hear everything).
I'm now thinking about making an FPP about Superman for those who lack the imagination to consider the possibilities of a man who can fly and punch out the moon.
Oh, yeah, and Smallville was AWFUL. I mostly watched the last season out of perverse sense of completion and so that I could follow along with Sims' and Uzumeri's recaps. It's one of the few television shows where I can honestly say that I could do a better job writing it. (I thought the first season had some arresting visuals, but quickly got bogged down in freak of the week plots).
posted by runcibleshaw at 11:33 PM on May 16, 2011 [5 favorites]
Clark Kent is the ideal of humanity as seen by Superman.
And a key point of Kingdom Come is that Superman would rather retire than become a killer; when the public applauds Magog for murdering the Joker, Supes simply walks away. On the other hand, Bruce Wayne becomes a fascist who terrorises all of Gotham in the name of law and order; Diana gives up on peaceful resolution and opts to kill anyone who stands in her way; the Flash simply removes choice from everyone in his city, and so on.
(And over time Magog comes to prefer death to the responsibiliy of being the hero who kills, of course)
posted by rodgerd at 11:33 PM on May 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
And a key point of Kingdom Come is that Superman would rather retire than become a killer; when the public applauds Magog for murdering the Joker, Supes simply walks away. On the other hand, Bruce Wayne becomes a fascist who terrorises all of Gotham in the name of law and order; Diana gives up on peaceful resolution and opts to kill anyone who stands in her way; the Flash simply removes choice from everyone in his city, and so on.
(And over time Magog comes to prefer death to the responsibiliy of being the hero who kills, of course)
posted by rodgerd at 11:33 PM on May 16, 2011 [2 favorites]
Also, no one can beat Batman. It's like, a thing. So what makes Batman less boring than Superman?
Honestly, as the "no-one beats Batman" has moved from a novel spin in Dark Knight to canonical near-invulnerability it's actually made Batman kinda boring.
posted by rodgerd at 11:37 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Honestly, as the "no-one beats Batman" has moved from a novel spin in Dark Knight to canonical near-invulnerability it's actually made Batman kinda boring.
posted by rodgerd at 11:37 PM on May 16, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh, Smallville. I'm so glad it's over, so I don't have to deal with my weird love/hate relationship with it anymore. I know it was a mediocre show even at its best, and a lot of the time, it was absolute crap, but I could. not. stop. watching it. I even wrote a big dorky AskMe comment about it the other day, and felt vaguely dirty after I finished.
I have similar reasons for being kind of glad The Cape got canceled, although The Cape was nowhere near as bad as Smallville was at its worst.
posted by maqsarian at 11:44 PM on May 16, 2011
I have similar reasons for being kind of glad The Cape got canceled, although The Cape was nowhere near as bad as Smallville was at its worst.
posted by maqsarian at 11:44 PM on May 16, 2011
Superman gets up in fascist duds and builds statues of himself
My absolute favorite thing about this episode: the DVD commentary track. Bruce Timm and whoever else was in the room run out of shit to say about ten minutes in, and spend the rest of the track basically saying, "Yeah, wow, we thought we'd have a lot to talk about with this episode, you know, what with the alternate universe fascist Superman and all that, but, uh, yeah, we've got nothing. Hey, look, something blew up."
They made up for it with the Justice Lords, though.
posted by maqsarian at 11:53 PM on May 16, 2011
My absolute favorite thing about this episode: the DVD commentary track. Bruce Timm and whoever else was in the room run out of shit to say about ten minutes in, and spend the rest of the track basically saying, "Yeah, wow, we thought we'd have a lot to talk about with this episode, you know, what with the alternate universe fascist Superman and all that, but, uh, yeah, we've got nothing. Hey, look, something blew up."
They made up for it with the Justice Lords, though.
posted by maqsarian at 11:53 PM on May 16, 2011
The season finale recap is pretty much a perfect summary of why Small illegal is pointless.
Also, these guys are clearly huge Morrison worshipers. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
posted by Artw at 12:24 AM on May 17, 2011
Also, these guys are clearly huge Morrison worshipers. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
posted by Artw at 12:24 AM on May 17, 2011
The most damning bit: If "Smallville" would've ended five years ago and then picked up in the fall as "Superman," they could've actually done some interesting stuff. Not necessarily good, but at least they wouldn't have to tiptoe around every single thing, and they could actually have a Superman who acted like Superman. Because here's the thing: By its very nature, this show forces a version of Superman that HAS to be passive. He can never be Superman, so he always has to act with something shackling him and holding him back from heroics. So he hems and haws and mopes and wears his dumb jackets, and we never see Clark evolve, while EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE SHOW is allowed to pass him.
posted by Artw at 12:40 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Artw at 12:40 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
I still want to see the Young Bruce Wayne show that Smallville was going to be. You could put ANYTHING in that show. It would be like an 80s network action movie with modern serialized angst. Every week a different exotic location, lesson to be learned, or bizarre problem.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 12:47 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 12:47 AM on May 17, 2011
Young Bruce Wayne:
Training
Training
Training
Signing a document giving consent to another Wayne Corp project
Training
Training
Getting ass kicked
Training
Charity ball
Training
Brooding over parent's death
Training
Training
Lunch
Training.
posted by The Whelk at 12:52 AM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
Training
Training
Training
Signing a document giving consent to another Wayne Corp project
Training
Training
Getting ass kicked
Training
Charity ball
Training
Brooding over parent's death
Training
Training
Lunch
Training.
posted by The Whelk at 12:52 AM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
Yes, but 'Training' covers everything from 'escape artistry' to 'ballet' to 'computer hacking' to 'mixing up poison antidotes' to 'shattering glass with this voice' to 'swimming with sharks'.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 12:54 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 12:54 AM on May 17, 2011
I tried to tell Kurt Busiek that they already made that show and it was called "Young Indiana Jones Chronicles" but he seemed to disagree with me.
posted by runcibleshaw at 12:55 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by runcibleshaw at 12:55 AM on May 17, 2011
Pam Grier as Amanda Waller. This is a television show from the Fringe alternate reality, because there is no way something so completely perfect could ever happen in a network TV show in this universe.
I started watching season before last, and despite Oracle being called "Chloe" and not being a parapalegic redhead, after watching each episode, my DC Fanboy never left unsatisfied, with a new, obscure character being =done right= every week. It's Earth WB. Brainiac 9. Dude, Brainiac 9!
Got rid of the cable box, so I need to wait for new stuff to show up on Hulu or Netflix.
posted by Slap*Happy at 2:09 AM on May 17, 2011
I started watching season before last, and despite Oracle being called "Chloe" and not being a parapalegic redhead, after watching each episode, my DC Fanboy never left unsatisfied, with a new, obscure character being =done right= every week. It's Earth WB. Brainiac 9. Dude, Brainiac 9!
Got rid of the cable box, so I need to wait for new stuff to show up on Hulu or Netflix.
posted by Slap*Happy at 2:09 AM on May 17, 2011
there's no drama I can see, since he not only is a flying alien but also has an ever-expending set of powers that seem to increase exponentially as DC sees fit.
This is my current complaint about the latest Dr Who. People complain about "sad doctor in rain" of Russell, but moffatt has ruined him more. Universe destroyed? Just recreate it! Then have companion wish him back. genociding every alien that even threatens earth, while giving speech. New powers as they want that get ignored later? check. You know he's not really going to die, as he regenerates into a new actor, and is so popular and profitable that you know BBC won't let it happen while it's that way. Same issue with Superman, he died, you knew he was going to come back, and sadly that's when it got really silly.
A really decent look at just how wrong a superman type can go when they get sick of being nice and controlling themselves is Irredeemable. It's not perfect, but a good look into that. i'm sure there are some elseworlds that also did that too.
I've always thought superman (or similar character) took a great writer to really shine or even be good. Too often they escalate threats (same with dr who lately), and while that's sometimes fun, it's more the off type ones that make the more interesting threats. Lexx luthor is interesting because he's just a guy, who hates/wants to be superman. Superman could just squish him, but that's not what he does. myxlplyx (take that spell check) is a good one as superman's powers don't really matter to him, and is more a mental challenge.
So anyway, Smallville, really never bothered even trying in my eyes, was more a freak of the week with boring drama.
posted by usagizero at 2:09 AM on May 17, 2011
This is my current complaint about the latest Dr Who. People complain about "sad doctor in rain" of Russell, but moffatt has ruined him more. Universe destroyed? Just recreate it! Then have companion wish him back. genociding every alien that even threatens earth, while giving speech. New powers as they want that get ignored later? check. You know he's not really going to die, as he regenerates into a new actor, and is so popular and profitable that you know BBC won't let it happen while it's that way. Same issue with Superman, he died, you knew he was going to come back, and sadly that's when it got really silly.
A really decent look at just how wrong a superman type can go when they get sick of being nice and controlling themselves is Irredeemable. It's not perfect, but a good look into that. i'm sure there are some elseworlds that also did that too.
I've always thought superman (or similar character) took a great writer to really shine or even be good. Too often they escalate threats (same with dr who lately), and while that's sometimes fun, it's more the off type ones that make the more interesting threats. Lexx luthor is interesting because he's just a guy, who hates/wants to be superman. Superman could just squish him, but that's not what he does. myxlplyx (take that spell check) is a good one as superman's powers don't really matter to him, and is more a mental challenge.
So anyway, Smallville, really never bothered even trying in my eyes, was more a freak of the week with boring drama.
posted by usagizero at 2:09 AM on May 17, 2011
My favourite representation of Supes is the issue of Garth Ennis' Hitman where the titular character gives Kal El a bit of a pep talk. I seem to recall that it won an award at the time. It is the one time I remember Ennis not raging against superheroes and it's surprisingly good.
posted by longbaugh at 2:58 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by longbaugh at 2:58 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Thank God that's over. FerChirst'sSake.
Somebody, for the love of all that's holy, bring back Deadwood.
Please?
posted by bwg at 4:15 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Somebody, for the love of all that's holy, bring back Deadwood.
Please?
posted by bwg at 4:15 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
The original Superman was basically a human bug. Can Lift Many Times His Own Weight (like an ant). Can Jump Many Times His Own Height (like a grasshopper).
Smallville found a way to delve into what it is to be human, and how much of who we are depends on who raised us. In between the layers of WB cheescake was a very complex relationship with Lex, and the inner conflict of Clark about lying to his friends.
After 9/11, there were not many public forums expressing the need to hold strong to the ideals of Truth, Justice, and just what the American Way meant. Despite its flaws, Smallville was a show I was comfortable having my young son watch, and touched me with the challenges of parenting it expressed.
posted by dragonsi55 at 4:22 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Smallville found a way to delve into what it is to be human, and how much of who we are depends on who raised us. In between the layers of WB cheescake was a very complex relationship with Lex, and the inner conflict of Clark about lying to his friends.
After 9/11, there were not many public forums expressing the need to hold strong to the ideals of Truth, Justice, and just what the American Way meant. Despite its flaws, Smallville was a show I was comfortable having my young son watch, and touched me with the challenges of parenting it expressed.
posted by dragonsi55 at 4:22 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Did someone mention cheesecake? Yum, yum! I've enjoyed Smallville. Tom Welling is entirely welcome to grace my screen. Oh! And then there's John Schneider, too. My, he's a handsome man. Imagine my shock when I discovered he was that kid from Ducks of Hazard! LOL! Talk about being reminded one's years are getting up there.
Some of you people take this stuff far too seriously. It's called entertainment. Relax! If a wholesome farmboy doesn't make you wet, you're un-American!
posted by Goofyy at 4:49 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Some of you people take this stuff far too seriously. It's called entertainment. Relax! If a wholesome farmboy doesn't make you wet, you're un-American!
posted by Goofyy at 4:49 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
So glad this got posted. Since the last Superman thread, I've been wanting to talk about him, but I'm a lone comics geek in a sea of other geeks and my 9-month old's reaction to my super rants - a farting noise - pretty much sums up what most my friends reactions would be to "Hey, want to come over and talk about Superman?"
Anyways.
The problem with Smallville seemed to be that nobody involved in the show actually wanted to be there to do anything more than collect a paycheck. Maybe John Glover wanted to be there - anything to give his fabulous mane more hair time - but the rest of the cast and crew were pretty much phoning it in. And phoning it in is something that you absolutely cannot do with Superman simply because, as noted above, he is such a hard character to write well while being such an easy character to write boringly.
The plotting and direction of the show was of the jumble-bag variety. I suspect they farmed most of the actual writing out to freelancers and whomever had show runner duties looked at it more as hospice care than anything else. Why else would you have these overarching plots that went nowhere interspersed with stand alone episodes that referenced pop culture two months too late to even be close to timely?
I'm not sure they even had anyone who cared about comics on staff. Freelancers, sure, but anyone actually on the dental plan did not give a crap. At best, some intern learned to search Wikipedia and surf message boards. Hell, their lead admitted he didn't really care about the character in the first place.
So how the hell did this show stay on the air? It's not the show's fault it lasted so long, that's for sure.
First, we had the Freak of the Week seasons when the show started in October of 2001. In these early seasons, the show could get away with episodic bits because that's how a certain other show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer started before becoming a hit. BtVS showed the second-tier broadcast networks that if they stuck with a niche show, it could blossom into a network-saving tent pole. Plus, the whole "We know he'll be Superman" novelty had awhile yet to wear off (I mean, it took TEN YEARS to answer the horrrible "Are you Man or Superman?" line from the pilot with "Yes. I am Superman. For 5 seconds. In 17 years."). I really hope that 9/11 didn't have a factor in this too ("America needs its icons!").
Okay, so a moderate success with a fanbase that's if not loyal, at least interested, is probably good for what, 4 years? So what happened in 2005?
Superman Returns got made. "Hey," thought the network, "Free publicity, a renewed interest in the character, let's hang on to Smallville just a bit longer." So they keep churning the show out into 2006 in hopes that the movie will be bigger than it actually was. Whoops. But all is not lost, because also in 2006, NBC decided that if they started calling Heroes a hit, it would become one.
"Aha!" thought the network, "People do want superheroes on TV! We'll just hang in a bit longer." So they did, even though half their ensemble cast was practically chewing their legs off to get away at this point. Heroes probably breathed another 2 years of life into the show, which they supplemented with references to the comic chosen at random (Blue Kryptonite! Phantom Zone! Jor-El!). They also start to expand the cast, bringing in Green Arrow as a stand in for Batman.
So that get's us to, what, 2008? 2009? By now, the network is about done with the show, but they don't have anything else to replace it. Supernatural claims to be ending soon and they don't want to lose their nerd-niche audience who are unlikely to flip over to 90210 or Gossip Girl. So they set a finale for 2011 and call it a day.
During the entire run of the series, I can just imagine the writers simply writhing in their seats around the writer's table "What? We got renewed? Again? Really? Argh. Pass the gin." They were trapped. Smallville was their Phantom Zone. They didn't need to actually make a good show, they just needed to make a 40 minute long program that killed time and occasionally referenced something from DC continuity. It simply did not matter what they did. They could make an episode where Superman fights witch ghosts for some reason (they did) and the network would put it on air. Anytime their malaise got too palpable, they hired an actual Comic Book Guy (Loeb, Johns) to come in and spackle it over with enthusiasm. Because, hey, it's a paycheck, yanno?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:28 AM on May 17, 2011 [9 favorites]
Anyways.
The problem with Smallville seemed to be that nobody involved in the show actually wanted to be there to do anything more than collect a paycheck. Maybe John Glover wanted to be there - anything to give his fabulous mane more hair time - but the rest of the cast and crew were pretty much phoning it in. And phoning it in is something that you absolutely cannot do with Superman simply because, as noted above, he is such a hard character to write well while being such an easy character to write boringly.
The plotting and direction of the show was of the jumble-bag variety. I suspect they farmed most of the actual writing out to freelancers and whomever had show runner duties looked at it more as hospice care than anything else. Why else would you have these overarching plots that went nowhere interspersed with stand alone episodes that referenced pop culture two months too late to even be close to timely?
I'm not sure they even had anyone who cared about comics on staff. Freelancers, sure, but anyone actually on the dental plan did not give a crap. At best, some intern learned to search Wikipedia and surf message boards. Hell, their lead admitted he didn't really care about the character in the first place.
So how the hell did this show stay on the air? It's not the show's fault it lasted so long, that's for sure.
First, we had the Freak of the Week seasons when the show started in October of 2001. In these early seasons, the show could get away with episodic bits because that's how a certain other show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer started before becoming a hit. BtVS showed the second-tier broadcast networks that if they stuck with a niche show, it could blossom into a network-saving tent pole. Plus, the whole "We know he'll be Superman" novelty had awhile yet to wear off (I mean, it took TEN YEARS to answer the horrrible "Are you Man or Superman?" line from the pilot with "Yes. I am Superman. For 5 seconds. In 17 years."). I really hope that 9/11 didn't have a factor in this too ("America needs its icons!").
Okay, so a moderate success with a fanbase that's if not loyal, at least interested, is probably good for what, 4 years? So what happened in 2005?
Superman Returns got made. "Hey," thought the network, "Free publicity, a renewed interest in the character, let's hang on to Smallville just a bit longer." So they keep churning the show out into 2006 in hopes that the movie will be bigger than it actually was. Whoops. But all is not lost, because also in 2006, NBC decided that if they started calling Heroes a hit, it would become one.
"Aha!" thought the network, "People do want superheroes on TV! We'll just hang in a bit longer." So they did, even though half their ensemble cast was practically chewing their legs off to get away at this point. Heroes probably breathed another 2 years of life into the show, which they supplemented with references to the comic chosen at random (Blue Kryptonite! Phantom Zone! Jor-El!). They also start to expand the cast, bringing in Green Arrow as a stand in for Batman.
So that get's us to, what, 2008? 2009? By now, the network is about done with the show, but they don't have anything else to replace it. Supernatural claims to be ending soon and they don't want to lose their nerd-niche audience who are unlikely to flip over to 90210 or Gossip Girl. So they set a finale for 2011 and call it a day.
During the entire run of the series, I can just imagine the writers simply writhing in their seats around the writer's table "What? We got renewed? Again? Really? Argh. Pass the gin." They were trapped. Smallville was their Phantom Zone. They didn't need to actually make a good show, they just needed to make a 40 minute long program that killed time and occasionally referenced something from DC continuity. It simply did not matter what they did. They could make an episode where Superman fights witch ghosts for some reason (they did) and the network would put it on air. Anytime their malaise got too palpable, they hired an actual Comic Book Guy (Loeb, Johns) to come in and spackle it over with enthusiasm. Because, hey, it's a paycheck, yanno?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:28 AM on May 17, 2011 [9 favorites]
Upthread, The Whelk mentioned "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?". Not to derail or anything, but what a great comic! "Did you honestly believe a fifth-dimensional sorcerer would resemble a funny little man in a derby hat?" Ha! Many brilliant moments and memorable lines in that one.
posted by Crabby Appleton at 6:42 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by Crabby Appleton at 6:42 AM on May 17, 2011
I pretty much agree, robocop is bleeding.
The show got stuck in Freak of the Week mode, like it had a gear busted and couldn't climb out of Season One Buffy. Kryptonite was the lazy explanation for everything, while Buffy gave up the Hellmouth Vibe thing before its first short season ended, with even a plausible explanation: the Master's attempt to open the Hellmouth blew off some steam. But not Smallville. At the end of the first season I was joking to one of my friends, "You watch, the next two seasons will be The Red Kryptonite Years." A dumb, crappy joke on my part actually came true.
Rosenbaum made a post-Crisis Lex Luthor interesting, which surprised me, and he seemed like the only person on the show who wanted to get some acting done. The rest of it is, as you said, all about the paycheck.
My viewing had gotten sporadic around the end of the third season, right around the point where my general dissatisfaction with television had peaked, and I just gave up. On a whim, after not having seen or heard about the show for years aside from tidbits from my friends ("Spike is in it!" "Mr. Kent died!"), I sat and watched the finale with a buddy. I said, "Don't tell me anything, I want to pick it up from context." The opening, show-spanning montage was painful and I could only think "Buffy did that better." The finale was just ... awful. I was able to pick up everything from context because practically nothing had happened on the show. If I had to guess, having read no synopses, I would suspect that the writers had hit the reset button on the show more or less twice a season. Instead, giant planet out of nowhere! Giant planet goes away! Oh and Lex is back!
So our big reward is, after ten years, Superman puts on a suit and flies. Wasn't he ... hovering in the second season? We see the suit, we see a blur, but I do not remember actually seeing Tom Welling in the suit. And all because Jor-El gives him some encouragement? Did we really get a "You can do it, Duffy Moon" moment for the finale?
Awful show. I never saw an episode that wasn't outright disappointing.
posted by adipocere at 7:22 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
The show got stuck in Freak of the Week mode, like it had a gear busted and couldn't climb out of Season One Buffy. Kryptonite was the lazy explanation for everything, while Buffy gave up the Hellmouth Vibe thing before its first short season ended, with even a plausible explanation: the Master's attempt to open the Hellmouth blew off some steam. But not Smallville. At the end of the first season I was joking to one of my friends, "You watch, the next two seasons will be The Red Kryptonite Years." A dumb, crappy joke on my part actually came true.
Rosenbaum made a post-Crisis Lex Luthor interesting, which surprised me, and he seemed like the only person on the show who wanted to get some acting done. The rest of it is, as you said, all about the paycheck.
My viewing had gotten sporadic around the end of the third season, right around the point where my general dissatisfaction with television had peaked, and I just gave up. On a whim, after not having seen or heard about the show for years aside from tidbits from my friends ("Spike is in it!" "Mr. Kent died!"), I sat and watched the finale with a buddy. I said, "Don't tell me anything, I want to pick it up from context." The opening, show-spanning montage was painful and I could only think "Buffy did that better." The finale was just ... awful. I was able to pick up everything from context because practically nothing had happened on the show. If I had to guess, having read no synopses, I would suspect that the writers had hit the reset button on the show more or less twice a season. Instead, giant planet out of nowhere! Giant planet goes away! Oh and Lex is back!
So our big reward is, after ten years, Superman puts on a suit and flies. Wasn't he ... hovering in the second season? We see the suit, we see a blur, but I do not remember actually seeing Tom Welling in the suit. And all because Jor-El gives him some encouragement? Did we really get a "You can do it, Duffy Moon" moment for the finale?
Awful show. I never saw an episode that wasn't outright disappointing.
posted by adipocere at 7:22 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
So... the only reason anybody ever dies in the Superman universe is because Superman is either a jerk or incompetent. Honestly, when you can read minds, when you're faster and smarter and everything-else-er than everybody in existence, what tension could there really be? And why would you ever fail?
That's because he is not written right. This is one of those Hydrox v. Oreo deals where the knockoff is better. (Technically a rethinking of a knockoff of a knockoff, but cookie-based metaphor has failed me.)
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:36 AM on May 17, 2011
That's because he is not written right. This is one of those Hydrox v. Oreo deals where the knockoff is better. (Technically a rethinking of a knockoff of a knockoff, but cookie-based metaphor has failed me.)
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:36 AM on May 17, 2011
Lovecraft In Brooklyn: “I don't think Superman can read minds. That's the Martian Manhunter.”
ZeusHumms: “When did Superman start reading minds?”
Well, okay, that's a little bit of a stretch, and it's not the same degree as Martian Manhunter can do it. But I can remember a bunch of times when there was this mumbo-jumbo about how his SUPER-SIGHTTM allowed him to pick up on subtle bodily cues, so that he knew that bad guy was lying all along!
posted by koeselitz at 8:47 AM on May 17, 2011
ZeusHumms: “When did Superman start reading minds?”
Well, okay, that's a little bit of a stretch, and it's not the same degree as Martian Manhunter can do it. But I can remember a bunch of times when there was this mumbo-jumbo about how his SUPER-SIGHTTM allowed him to pick up on subtle bodily cues, so that he knew that bad guy was lying all along!
posted by koeselitz at 8:47 AM on May 17, 2011
cookie-based metaphor has failed me.)
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:36 AM on May 17 [+] [!]
God I wish the obvious joke wasn't so played out. You're making it way too easy.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 9:44 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:36 AM on May 17 [+] [!]
God I wish the obvious joke wasn't so played out. You're making it way too easy.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 9:44 AM on May 17, 2011
“When did Superman start reading minds?”
In the first movie.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:18 AM on May 17, 2011
In the first movie.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:18 AM on May 17, 2011
Also, I've been mentally composing a "Why Superman Matters" screed all day.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:19 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:19 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Has your TV show been canceled?
Me, I'm going to miss Stargate: Universe most of all. It was actually good towards the end, honest!
posted by Artw at 10:58 AM on May 17, 2011
Me, I'm going to miss Stargate: Universe most of all. It was actually good towards the end, honest!
posted by Artw at 10:58 AM on May 17, 2011
Same issue with Superman, he died, you knew he was going to come back, and sadly that's when it got really silly.
To be fair, none of the big comic book characters are ever killed off permanantly. If they are, they're revived through some kind of handwavey explanation or the powers get passed onto someone else so the character lives on.
posted by P.o.B. at 4:47 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
To be fair, none of the big comic book characters are ever killed off permanantly. If they are, they're revived through some kind of handwavey explanation or the powers get passed onto someone else so the character lives on.
posted by P.o.B. at 4:47 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Instead, giant planet out of nowhere! Giant planet goes away!
This was also how David Tennent's run on Doctor Who ended.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:51 PM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
This was also how David Tennent's run on Doctor Who ended.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 4:51 PM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
But I grew up with Marvel, who's flagship hero is a guy like me...
Neck-Lad?
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:21 PM on May 17, 2011
Neck-Lad?
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:21 PM on May 17, 2011
Also I have to admit that I haven't got around to watching any of the DC character animated series', but y'all keep going on about them and I think I should check 'em out, which ones are best and also would my missus like them?
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:24 PM on May 17, 2011
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:24 PM on May 17, 2011
Yeah, and from the Justice League series, the CADMUS arc is pretty awesome if you like Big Heroics.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:35 PM on May 17, 2011
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:35 PM on May 17, 2011
Superman Returns got made. "Hey," thought the network, "Free publicity, a renewed interest in the character, let's hang on to Smallville just a bit longer."
The problem is, as the review points out rather well, Smallville is basically a dumb idea. The entire plot revolves around Superman's origin story, which unfortunately means you can't ever tell Superman stories. You can only tell Clark Kent stories, and those are frankly pretty stupid. They're all about him discovering powers but he's never allowed to just put on the silly suit and go and be a superhero, because the writers keep holding on to this notion (perhaps accurately) that the public still expects the Smallville universe to fit in with the Superman story we know-and-love (the Daily Planet, Lois Lane, "You got me? Who's got you?!", etc.) So the whole show is like some dumb charade where the title character is actually never allowed to get to be the title character.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:40 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
The problem is, as the review points out rather well, Smallville is basically a dumb idea. The entire plot revolves around Superman's origin story, which unfortunately means you can't ever tell Superman stories. You can only tell Clark Kent stories, and those are frankly pretty stupid. They're all about him discovering powers but he's never allowed to just put on the silly suit and go and be a superhero, because the writers keep holding on to this notion (perhaps accurately) that the public still expects the Smallville universe to fit in with the Superman story we know-and-love (the Daily Planet, Lois Lane, "You got me? Who's got you?!", etc.) So the whole show is like some dumb charade where the title character is actually never allowed to get to be the title character.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:40 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
which ones are best and also would my missus like them?
It's not part of the series but you're missing out if you haven't seen Batman Gotham Knight
Especially if you liked the AniMatrix movie, it's very reminiscent of that.
Me, I'm going to miss Stargate: Universe most of all. It was actually good towards the end, honest!
I'm missing something here, did they cancel it or have you lost that lovin' feeling? In any case you're talking about a network that shows things like Attack of the Giant Sharkodile, and I don't think they really care about the quality they put out.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:12 AM on May 18, 2011
It's not part of the series but you're missing out if you haven't seen Batman Gotham Knight
Especially if you liked the AniMatrix movie, it's very reminiscent of that.
Me, I'm going to miss Stargate: Universe most of all. It was actually good towards the end, honest!
I'm missing something here, did they cancel it or have you lost that lovin' feeling? In any case you're talking about a network that shows things like Attack of the Giant Sharkodile, and I don't think they really care about the quality they put out.
posted by P.o.B. at 11:12 AM on May 18, 2011
/weeps, half heartedly begins composing FPP again, gives up...
posted by Artw at 11:33 AM on May 18, 2011
posted by Artw at 11:33 AM on May 18, 2011
Awesome Chris Sims peice on Superman, and Scrooge McDuck, as American icons.
posted by Artw at 10:21 AM on May 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 10:21 AM on May 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
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SPOILER: Tom Welling wore a blue, spandex-looking suit and a red cape. And he flew! It only took 10 years.
DC's control over the Superman character is still ending in 2013.
posted by vhsiv at 10:11 PM on May 16, 2011