Jesus came back, sort of.
May 22, 2011 5:11 PM   Subscribe

Holy Turtle!
posted by Bag Man (40 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
It looks more like Emperor Palpatine wearing some slippers, with a golden light emanating from his crotch.
posted by stavrogin at 5:21 PM on May 22, 2011


Looks like Darth Vader.
posted by phunniemee at 5:26 PM on May 22, 2011 [7 favorites]


Pretty thin.
posted by dunkadunc at 5:26 PM on May 22, 2011


Well, if you need an excuse why the Rapture didn't happen, believing that we were saved by a turtle is as good as any…
posted by Pinback at 5:28 PM on May 22, 2011 [3 favorites]


Turtle, what an lower abdomen.
posted by DU at 5:29 PM on May 22, 2011 [3 favorites]


Funny, I saw the mandelbrot set. Pattern recognition is a strange thing.

Also: It's turtle's all the way down.
posted by symbioid at 5:37 PM on May 22, 2011 [6 favorites]


I like turtles.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 5:41 PM on May 22, 2011 [2 favorites]


Related turtle youtube
posted by codacorolla at 5:43 PM on May 22, 2011


I swear to, um, gosh golly that the minute I saw that picture (before looking in the thread at all) my very first reaction was "Emperor Palpatine"

could also be a vagina with a far-out color scheme
posted by nanojath at 5:43 PM on May 22, 2011


Obviously she should toast it, with cheese...
posted by tomswift at 5:44 PM on May 22, 2011


Any port in a storm I guess.
posted by device55 at 5:51 PM on May 22, 2011


News has never been softer.
posted by boo_radley at 5:52 PM on May 22, 2011


I see the Madonna. It's what the tiles on the Italian houses in my neighborhood look like after a few winters and summers.
posted by maryr at 5:53 PM on May 22, 2011


BELIEVE IN THE GREAT GOD OM!
posted by The otter lady at 5:57 PM on May 22, 2011 [9 favorites]


Fun fact: The original image/icon that this and many other of these Virgin Mary sightings is referring to is Our Lady of Guadalupe. The fun part of the fact is that it may have been intentionally designed to resemble a vagina, complete with clitoris, clitoral hood and labia.
posted by loquacious at 6:00 PM on May 22, 2011 [2 favorites]


In other news, the painted turtle has evolved the cunning ability to momentarily stun Catholic predators and dupe them into offering food and a warm place to hang out.
posted by klanawa at 6:27 PM on May 22, 2011 [2 favorites]


DU wins this thread no matter what comes after.
posted by rahnefan at 6:33 PM on May 22, 2011


I'm just glad that at least one of the people who found it doesn't seem to be convinced it's a miracle. There's a place in this world for appreciating the beauty of coincidence and pattern-recognition without getting so worked up about any higher meaning.
posted by ErWenn at 6:42 PM on May 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


Looks like Raphael.
posted by Brocktoon at 6:57 PM on May 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


...it wasn't long before people from all over the world started coming to
our house to see the bottle. At first I thought that this would make me
more popular at school. Instead it seemed to have the opposite result.
Kids would stop and point at me in the hallway and say, "There's the boy
whose mother keeps our savior cooped up in that tiny little bottle." And
then everybody started calling me 'Bottle boy'. And that really hurt. It
was also around this time that Mom began to attract some really weird
followers. Like that guy who never used deodorant and spoke only in
riddles. And that woman who collected 19th century hand made Amish
swimwear.

posted by Jon_Evil at 7:01 PM on May 22, 2011


It certainly was a miracle for the reporter.
posted by TwelveTwo at 7:02 PM on May 22, 2011


I don't know, Brocktoon, that turtle looks like more of a party dude to me.
posted by maryr at 7:05 PM on May 22, 2011 [1 favorite]


I thought it was going to be carrying the world on its back.


Fun fact: The original image/icon that this and many other of these Virgin Mary sightings is referring to is Our Lady of Guadalupe. The fun part of the fact is that it may have been intentionally designed to resemble a vagina, complete with clitoris, clitoral hood and labia.


Though I am sure there would be interest in the photos, I would have a difficult time convincing people that it was a virgin anything.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:11 PM on May 22, 2011


There will be signs. Just as the Lord tortoise.
posted by Decani at 7:36 PM on May 22, 2011 [3 favorites]


It's turtles all the way down.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:42 PM on May 22, 2011


Fark headline on this was better and earlier. Metafilter, you're slipping.
posted by smcameron at 8:01 PM on May 22, 2011


The second coming is so eentsy and cute! My rational skeptic side has been totally bypassed in favor of TINY TURTLE FEETSES.
posted by cmyk at 8:22 PM on May 22, 2011


A *printing company employee* out on her break picked up a tiny turtle and was immediately struck by its markings.

Mmmm-HMMMMMM. Sounds like viral marketing for their new silk-screened terrapin line.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:17 PM on May 22, 2011 [2 favorites]


Happy World Turtle Day, everyone!
posted by rollick at 9:39 PM on May 22, 2011


Virgin Marry Appears As Condom
posted by jeffburdges at 12:26 AM on May 23, 2011


Today, as I drove through this intersection, I noticed a turtle looking lost and scared, stranded in the middle of the road. I pulled over as soon as I could, retrieved it from the asphalt, and carried it over to one of the little mini-wetland-ponds they've got going around Nokomis. It was pretty scared the whole way - tucked into its shell as tightly as it could go - but I hope it didn't take too long to recover and hopefully find the pond just a few feet away from where I'd set it down.

The picture made me think of this because "my" turtle had the same coloration, albeit without a vaguely virgin mary-ish silhouette on its tummy.

Probably for the best.
posted by kavasa at 1:02 AM on May 23, 2011


It's turtles all the way down.
posted by symbioid at 1:37 AM on May 23

It's turtles all the way down.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:42 AM on May 23


It's "it's turtles all the way down" all the way down this thread.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:52 AM on May 23, 2011


Where are the dicks on these things?
posted by haroon at 3:28 AM on May 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


Here you go haroon
posted by barkingpumpkin at 8:09 AM on May 23, 2011


It looks a lot more like a lantern than any kind of deity. But then, for my money, you're not going to do much better than worshiping a light-source. Or a turtle.

*mounts flashlight to tortoise*

*applies for tax-exempt church status*

posted by quin at 8:37 AM on May 23, 2011


It's turtles all the way down.
posted by symbioid at 1:37 AM on May 23

It's turtles all the way down.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:42 AM on May 23

It's "it's turtles all the way down" all the way down this thread.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 2:52 AM on May 23 [+] [!]


Paging User 17481, User 17481 please pick up the white courtesy phone...
posted by FatherDagon at 9:36 AM on May 23, 2011


The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. You're not helping. Why is that, Judas?
posted by naju at 12:32 PM on May 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


I like saying holy turtle, I think I'll replace holy sh#t with it.
posted by gypseefire at 1:10 PM on May 23, 2011 [1 favorite]


The life expectancy of that turtle probably exceeds the life expectancy of the woman who picked it up, and she's keeping it in a fucking bowl because it looks like it has some mythical religious figure as an outline on its stomach.

She's probably feeding it dry cat food or chips or something. Poor Holy Turtle.
posted by Malice at 4:53 AM on May 24, 2011


kavasa: "It was pretty scared the whole way - tucked into its shell as tightly as it could go"

Mr. G once stopped to save a turtle on a busy road. It was a pretty large and heavy turtle, and it sucked into its shell as he approached. He picked it up and took a few steps, and the poor idiot thing suddenly stuck out its legs and flailed. It was so large that the flailing made him drop it.

It landed on the verge, so he let it stay there. He hoped it didn't just go back to sunning itself on the road.
posted by galadriel at 4:12 PM on May 24, 2011


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