"It's not in the textbooks"
May 25, 2011 2:38 AM Subscribe
Cheeky fellow.
posted by bayani at 2:51 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by bayani at 2:51 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Because the article lacked pictures, my mind automatically filled in the blanks with this.
posted by Rinku at 2:52 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Rinku at 2:52 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I was expecting to make jokes about how he was cleaning his truck, naked, and fell in such a way that the compressor went up his arse.
Then I read the article.
Then I put the pork crackling I was going to have for lunch in the bin...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 2:54 AM on May 25, 2011 [8 favorites]
Then I read the article.
Then I put the pork crackling I was going to have for lunch in the bin...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 2:54 AM on May 25, 2011 [8 favorites]
A separation of subcutaneous fat from muscle over at least enough area to stretch from buttock to "swollen neck"? I feel sick. Poor guy.
posted by cromagnon at 2:59 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by cromagnon at 2:59 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
yes that is true, I may not be able to imagine inflated butt though
posted by skincarebeautytips at 3:06 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by skincarebeautytips at 3:06 AM on May 25, 2011
"being described as lucky to be alive"
...or, you know, unlucky to have impaled himself on a compressed-air nozzle.
posted by pompomtom at 3:08 AM on May 25, 2011 [40 favorites]
...or, you know, unlucky to have impaled himself on a compressed-air nozzle.
posted by pompomtom at 3:08 AM on May 25, 2011 [40 favorites]
Photos of uninflated version of man . Warning: Daily Mail link...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 3:18 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 3:18 AM on May 25, 2011
What? And not a single one of these people had enough sense to take out a cell phone and photograph/video this?
What is WRONG with these people in NZ?!
posted by tomswift at 3:19 AM on May 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
What is WRONG with these people in NZ?!
posted by tomswift at 3:19 AM on May 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
The headline makes it sound like he was inflated through his anus. This is a bit disappointing.
posted by mhjb at 3:37 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by mhjb at 3:37 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Million to one shot, Doc! Million to one!"
posted by jmccw at 3:43 AM on May 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by jmccw at 3:43 AM on May 25, 2011 [3 favorites]
Mr McCormack confided that the air was gradually escaping his body in the way that air usually does.
I imagine this excuse will come in handy for years to come.
posted by molecicco at 3:54 AM on May 25, 2011 [10 favorites]
I imagine this excuse will come in handy for years to come.
posted by molecicco at 3:54 AM on May 25, 2011 [10 favorites]
I am not really squeamish but this freaked me out a bit. I really resent it ruining pork crackling. That wasn't called for, really.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 3:55 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by Trivia Newton John at 3:55 AM on May 25, 2011
That's some grade-a nightmare fuel right there.
posted by emperor.seamus at 3:58 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by emperor.seamus at 3:58 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Puts a whole new spin on butthurt.
posted by dougrayrankin at 4:15 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by dougrayrankin at 4:15 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
The inflated man was immediately rushed to an undisclosed Harvard University lab. There he was attended to by one, Dr. Walter Bishop.
posted by thehuskybride at 4:24 AM on May 25, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by thehuskybride at 4:24 AM on May 25, 2011 [6 favorites]
And they say [removes sunglasses] you can't get a bad blow job... YEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Er, boss... he's not actually dead.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:29 AM on May 25, 2011 [9 favorites]
Er, boss... he's not actually dead.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:29 AM on May 25, 2011 [9 favorites]
oh great, something else I need to worry about.
posted by Windigo at 4:34 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Windigo at 4:34 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
ALERT CHUCK PALAHNIUK
posted by flotson at 4:34 AM on May 25, 2011 [15 favorites]
posted by flotson at 4:34 AM on May 25, 2011 [15 favorites]
Because the article lacked pictures, my mind automatically filled in the blanks with this.
Believe it or not, there's an even more apt comparison.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:41 AM on May 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
Believe it or not, there's an even more apt comparison.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:41 AM on May 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
Once again, we prove that the line between tragedy and comedy is very thin indeed.
posted by eriko at 4:52 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by eriko at 4:52 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
...and when the nozzle was removed he flew round the room thanking everyone.
posted by adamvasco at 4:55 AM on May 25, 2011 [23 favorites]
posted by adamvasco at 4:55 AM on May 25, 2011 [23 favorites]
The headline makes it sound like he was inflated through his anus. This is a bit disappointing.
ಠ_ಠ
posted by orthogonality at 5:00 AM on May 25, 2011
ಠ_ಠ
posted by orthogonality at 5:00 AM on May 25, 2011
And let's be honest, fellow gentlemen - if your whole body had been inflated with air to outsize proportions and you were on death's door, you'd sneak a look just to see what it'd done to the old man.
posted by MuffinMan at 5:00 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by MuffinMan at 5:00 AM on May 25, 2011
I find this hard to believe. A mechanic friend of mine said one of his instructors in trade school warned the class about horsing around with the compressed air. He told the story of a mechanic tried to give a coworker a shot up the ass with the air gun. It caused an embolism and he died. Second hand story? Yes. But more plausible than balloon man.
posted by Brodiggitty at 5:19 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Brodiggitty at 5:19 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
I worked in a shop that had distributed compressed hair hoses hanging everywhere. People were always trying to goose each other with the air guns. Until somebody taped a news article to the compressor about how someone had been killed in shop from exactly that kind of hijinks.
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:27 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by StickyCarpet at 5:27 AM on May 25, 2011
Although this is an extreme case, having air or other gas trapped under the skin is common enough that there is not only a name for it-subcutaneous emphysema-but also for the crackling sensation that was described: crepitus. Just so everyone uses the correct technical terms when making their jokes.
posted by TedW at 5:43 AM on May 25, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by TedW at 5:43 AM on May 25, 2011 [7 favorites]
It's like a Doug Winger artwork come to life.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 6:04 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 6:04 AM on May 25, 2011
"I was blowing up like a football... it felt like I had the bends, like in diving. I had no choice but just to lay there, blowing up like a balloon," he said.
Soooo pulling it out wasn't an option?
posted by stormpooper at 6:22 AM on May 25, 2011
Soooo pulling it out wasn't an option?
posted by stormpooper at 6:22 AM on May 25, 2011
Rectum? It damn near killed him!
posted by mazola at 6:31 AM on May 25, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by mazola at 6:31 AM on May 25, 2011 [7 favorites]
Soooo pulling it out wasn't an option?
I don't think it was a hose. It sounds like he was wedged between the cab and trailer of his vehicle, impaled on the nozzle of the airbrake cylinder.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:32 AM on May 25, 2011
I don't think it was a hose. It sounds like he was wedged between the cab and trailer of his vehicle, impaled on the nozzle of the airbrake cylinder.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:32 AM on May 25, 2011
It was a dark and stormy night as the man slowly filled with compressed air . . . .
posted by IvoShandor at 6:34 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by IvoShandor at 6:34 AM on May 25, 2011
I can't be the only one who pictured this instead.
posted by delfin at 6:36 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by delfin at 6:36 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
He blew up very suddenly, I guess his name was probably Bruce.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:37 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by kirkaracha at 6:37 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
A woman in my hometown died of an embolism after trying to induce an abortion with an air compressor.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:38 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:38 AM on May 25, 2011
Y'know, there have been some pretty colorful fates delineated within MeFi threads over the years, some dreadful ways of shedding this mortal coil or at least slipping out partway. But this, this will give me nightmares for years to come.
In other words, my nightmares used to suck, but now they blow.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:45 AM on May 25, 2011
In other words, my nightmares used to suck, but now they blow.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:45 AM on May 25, 2011
I don't know if I can ever look at this the same way again.
posted by subversiveasset at 6:52 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by subversiveasset at 6:52 AM on May 25, 2011
This is terrifying!
posted by ph00dz at 6:56 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by ph00dz at 6:56 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Compressed air hoses can be incredibly dangerous. I remember reading a case report very similar to this one (note: .pdf) in The Journal of Trauma when I was in medical school. Beware the "mischievous coworker" coming at your ass with an airhose.
posted by scblackman at 6:59 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by scblackman at 6:59 AM on May 25, 2011
I dunno, guys, I think this story is overblown.
posted by dephlogisticated at 7:02 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by dephlogisticated at 7:02 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Serene Empress Dork: "A woman in my hometown died of an embolism after trying to induce an abortion with an air compressor."
That reminds me of the old "death by blowing into vagina during oral sex" urban myth. And the googles aren't helping me verify or refute it. This may have to be an AskMe.
posted by idiopath at 7:02 AM on May 25, 2011
That reminds me of the old "death by blowing into vagina during oral sex" urban myth. And the googles aren't helping me verify or refute it. This may have to be an AskMe.
posted by idiopath at 7:02 AM on May 25, 2011
This happened in my hometown, and was in the local paper at the time. It made a big enough impression on me that after 20 years I was able to find the link by Googling the woman's name.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 7:06 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 7:06 AM on May 25, 2011
It horrifies me to say I know this, but Rule 34 applies. In my random internet wanderings, I saw photos of guys who have a sexual fetish for inflating themselves, with before/after pics. They slowly pump air up their ass until their intestines inflate. What has been seen, cannot be unseen.
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:09 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by charlie don't surf at 7:09 AM on May 25, 2011
idiopath, it's possible, but extremely rare.
posted by ocherdraco at 7:27 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by ocherdraco at 7:27 AM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
When I was in college my summer job was at a cement plant. It was incredibly dusty and at lunch break we would use air hoses to clean off our coveralls before exiting the plant for the lunch room. To clean your backside, you usually had a buddy take the hose to dust you off.
Two of the guys were clowning around and one guy who was hosing his buddy shoved the end of the hose up his buddy's rear-end. By the time he reached the locker room, the victim was staggering around like a severe drunk and I remember laughing at his antics -until he collapsed. He was rushed to the hospital and recovered over the course of a couple days.
By lunch time the next day regulators were installed on all the air hoses.
posted by MotorNeuron at 7:43 AM on May 25, 2011
Two of the guys were clowning around and one guy who was hosing his buddy shoved the end of the hose up his buddy's rear-end. By the time he reached the locker room, the victim was staggering around like a severe drunk and I remember laughing at his antics -until he collapsed. He was rushed to the hospital and recovered over the course of a couple days.
By lunch time the next day regulators were installed on all the air hoses.
posted by MotorNeuron at 7:43 AM on May 25, 2011
...his buddy shoved the end of the hose up his buddy's rear-end...
Expect to hear me citing this the next time creationists try to argue that we didn't evolve from monkeys.
posted by Stagger Lee at 8:11 AM on May 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
Expect to hear me citing this the next time creationists try to argue that we didn't evolve from monkeys.
posted by Stagger Lee at 8:11 AM on May 25, 2011 [4 favorites]
I know, huh? I compared him to the Face Of Boe in a comment in a different thread.
posted by hippybear at 9:03 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by hippybear at 9:03 AM on May 25, 2011
Because the article lacked pictures, my mind automatically filled in the blanks with this.
Believe it or not, there's an even more apt comparison yt .
Ahem.
god i hate any text involved with youtube, comments or poster description alike. very mediocre movie my ASS.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:13 AM on May 25, 2011
Believe it or not, there's an even more apt comparison yt .
Ahem.
god i hate any text involved with youtube, comments or poster description alike. very mediocre movie my ASS.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:13 AM on May 25, 2011
I worked in a shop that had distributed compressed hair hoses hanging everywhere
Finally! Donald Trump makes sense to me now.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 9:21 AM on May 25, 2011
Finally! Donald Trump makes sense to me now.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 9:21 AM on May 25, 2011
Pumping is a blast if you're playing Dig Dug. However, it can be a definite hazard.
"Inflate your tires by all means, but then hide your bicycle pump where it cannot tempt you."
posted by porn in the woods at 9:26 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Inflate your tires by all means, but then hide your bicycle pump where it cannot tempt you."
posted by porn in the woods at 9:26 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Back in the day when I was working at a brewery we used to use compressed air to clean glass and gunk out of the bottle labeling machines. Now imagine having slivers of glass blown into you by a concentrated stream of compressed air.
This is why I tend to tell people to piss off when they moan about health and safety regulations.
posted by srboisvert at 9:52 AM on May 25, 2011
This is why I tend to tell people to piss off when they moan about health and safety regulations.
posted by srboisvert at 9:52 AM on May 25, 2011
charlie don't surf writes "It horrifies me to say I know this, but Rule 34 applies. In my random internet wanderings, I saw photos of guys who have a sexual fetish for inflating themselves, with before/after pics. They slowly pump air up their ass until their intestines inflate. What has been seen, cannot be unseen."
That must be Rule 34a: Even if you can't think of it it likely there is porn of it.
posted by Mitheral at 9:53 AM on May 25, 2011
That must be Rule 34a: Even if you can't think of it it likely there is porn of it.
posted by Mitheral at 9:53 AM on May 25, 2011
Now recuperating, he told the Beacon his skin felt "like a pork roast", hard and crackly on the outside but soft underneath.
Did anyone else hear Homer Simpson when you read this?
posted by gottabefunky at 10:04 AM on May 25, 2011
Did anyone else hear Homer Simpson when you read this?
posted by gottabefunky at 10:04 AM on May 25, 2011
OK, I just want to clarify this: The hose didn't go up his ass, it penetrated his skin. Right?
posted by Mcable at 10:26 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by Mcable at 10:26 AM on May 25, 2011
The hose didn't go up his ass, it penetrated his skin. Right?
Correct. It apparently jabbed him in the buttock / upper thigh. There was no anal penetration by a hose which then injected air into his digestive tract. It was all between the skin and the meat underneath, as far as I understand it.
posted by hippybear at 10:39 AM on May 25, 2011
Correct. It apparently jabbed him in the buttock / upper thigh. There was no anal penetration by a hose which then injected air into his digestive tract. It was all between the skin and the meat underneath, as far as I understand it.
posted by hippybear at 10:39 AM on May 25, 2011
Now recuperating, he told the Beacon his skin felt "like a pork roast", hard and crackly on the outside but soft underneath.
Anybody else hungry all of a sudden? No? Just me?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:44 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
Anybody else hungry all of a sudden? No? Just me?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:44 AM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
I can't find any video online of the guys popping like balloons in the movie Outland. There were four deaths by explosive decompression, IIRC.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:09 AM on May 25, 2011
posted by Meatbomb at 11:09 AM on May 25, 2011
-but also for the crackling sensation that was described: crepitus
I've had that! My left lung used to collapse all the time, and after the operation to fix it (which involved, unbelievably, roughing up the lung with talc to make it stick to the inside of my ribs) it partially collapsed again, and somehow air ended up getting under my skin - you could push on my upper chest and make it pop like bubble wrap!
Retrospectively, this is extremely disturbing, but I was so hopped up on morphine at the time that I quite enjoyed the sensation. And the looks of sheer horror on the faces of my visitors.
posted by jack_mo at 11:11 AM on May 25, 2011 [5 favorites]
I've had that! My left lung used to collapse all the time, and after the operation to fix it (which involved, unbelievably, roughing up the lung with talc to make it stick to the inside of my ribs) it partially collapsed again, and somehow air ended up getting under my skin - you could push on my upper chest and make it pop like bubble wrap!
Retrospectively, this is extremely disturbing, but I was so hopped up on morphine at the time that I quite enjoyed the sensation. And the looks of sheer horror on the faces of my visitors.
posted by jack_mo at 11:11 AM on May 25, 2011 [5 favorites]
MetaFilter: I was so hopped up on morphine at the time that I quite enjoyed the sensation.
posted by hippybear at 12:34 PM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 12:34 PM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Johnny Wallflower: " It sounds like he was wedged between the cab and trailer of his vehicle, impaled on the nozzle of the airbrake cylinder"
Them's the brakes.
posted by galadriel at 2:28 PM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Them's the brakes.
posted by galadriel at 2:28 PM on May 25, 2011 [2 favorites]
Dig Dug 2 is really underrated. You can still inflate monsters but you can also cut off pieces of the level and kill them that way.
This is horrific and I'm not clicking the links.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:43 PM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
This is horrific and I'm not clicking the links.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:43 PM on May 25, 2011 [1 favorite]
For those interested hereis an article from a NZ based online newspaper. Sorry folks it only shows a post recovery photo of the poor chap.
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10728095
posted by Merlin The Happy Pig at 5:32 PM on May 25, 2011
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10728095
posted by Merlin The Happy Pig at 5:32 PM on May 25, 2011
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