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#H37GT756F (12% floral, 3% minty, 22% musky, 33% pungent, 2% camphorous, 73% ethereal, 0% putrid)
June 2, 2011 6:04 PM   Subscribe

Introducing HTML11. The future, today.
posted by Memo (40 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
This markup language, it vibrates?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:25 PM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]


My first thought was, "a blow-dryer that small could make billions." But then you start talking x-ray machines and it just gets ridiculous, cash everywhere
posted by circular at 6:31 PM on June 2, 2011


If it doesn't include the <sarcasm> tag, I don't want it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:46 PM on June 2, 2011 [6 favorites]


Here are a few of the things that I hope they'll consider:

asbestos free markup
fewer angle brackets
cornbeef-hashtags
knuth-plass justification with hanging punctuation
cross-platform and cross-gender
number of different tags reduced to just one
automatically rejects invalid arguments through semantic markup
also applicable to house or garden layout
gradients. lots of gradients.
posted by jepler at 7:03 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


Who in their right mind would want to taste the internet? I can see it now: happily browsing, tasting delicious berries and sumptuous cheeses, suddenly, a popup. SPAM! Literally!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 7:07 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


> fewer angle brackets

I could get behind markup that replaces angle brackets with angle iron. Old pages should be rusty

Why do they refer to the
sensory experiences development trunk
and
public spaces development trunk

Shouldn't that be branch?
posted by morganw at 7:09 PM on June 2, 2011


I fear the surprise popup porno adverts' plans for this.
posted by spamguy at 7:10 PM on June 2, 2011


#H37GT756F

I do not think they know what this word hexidecimal means. It is not a synonym for falling asleep on your keyboard.

Fun read though.
posted by hanoixan at 7:15 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


I fear the wind tag will be used for a much different purpose.

If there is anything we have learned from the HTML5 spec, it is to be specific to avoid confusion!
posted by greenhornet at 7:21 PM on June 2, 2011


Why do all their examples have a leading space in the attributes? Seemed weird.
posted by delmoi at 7:25 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Most off these are properties of the way the content is presented, so they really should be part of a future CSS spec, not HTML. For example:

<taste class="banana">
<img src="banana.png" alt=" banana"/>
</taste>

Would make more sense as:

<img src="banana.png" alt="banana" style="flavor:banana" />

Then the joke might be funnier.
posted by rh at 8:08 PM on June 2, 2011 [12 favorites]


As a parody of some of the expectations people have following the HTML 5 hype, this is a pretty good one.
posted by ardgedee at 8:11 PM on June 2, 2011


I did not see "9 volt battery" under "taste." This is going to make the vast majority of web sites inaccurate.
posted by maxwelton at 8:51 PM on June 2, 2011 [8 favorites]


Well, they're as stupid as some of the crap tacked on to HTML, so they got that right, but yeah, I too am weirdly offput by the missuse of classes.
posted by Artw at 9:21 PM on June 2, 2011


I do not want to live to experience the goatse of the Internet one can taste.
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:26 PM on June 2, 2011


Although that site that portends citrus deliciousness for all does seem interesting...
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:27 PM on June 2, 2011


If it doesn't include the tag, I don't want it.

I do not think they know what this word hexidecimal means. It is not a synonym for falling asleep on your keyboard.

I could have used some sarcasm tag support in realizing that was the joke.
posted by hanoixan at 9:37 PM on June 2, 2011


Rather: If it doesn't include the <sarcasm> tag, I don't want it.
posted by hanoixan at 9:38 PM on June 2, 2011


All these jokes about tasting webpages are just making me sadder about recent developments in Homestuck.
posted by pts at 9:38 PM on June 2, 2011


I joked once that the next step for the Nintendo hand helds was a lickable console. The Nintendo LSD (Lickable Screen Display). Now with the power of HTML 11, it can be a dream come true!
posted by symbioid at 9:57 PM on June 2, 2011


Fuckers don't have Pantheism in their religion schema!
posted by symbioid at 9:58 PM on June 2, 2011


Or even Pant Theism.
posted by arto at 11:07 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


I don't understand the religion one. (and why is Al-Jazeera apparently considered Islamic by the video authors?)
posted by Bwithh at 11:23 PM on June 2, 2011


Nothing to see here yet. Move along.
posted by artof.mulata at 12:18 AM on June 3, 2011


(and why is Al-Jazeera apparently considered Islamic by the video authors?)

'Cause it's made by them ayrabs what got the funny hats, duh.
posted by unigolyn at 12:59 AM on June 3, 2011


For some reason this reminded me of the computer in this Paul Rudd sketch.
posted by Rhomboid at 1:13 AM on June 3, 2011


I still feel dirty calling HTML elements "tags". But I have to, because that's what everyone else calls them
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:29 AM on June 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


I fear the wind tag will be used for a much different purpose.

It's the combination of the wind & smell tags that could bring new meaning to the phrase fart joke.

And using the smell and taste tags together one could finally convey the full durian experience over the Web.
posted by Philofacts at 2:48 AM on June 3, 2011


Wow. I would never visit 4chan again.
posted by jaduncan at 3:31 AM on June 3, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ok, so this is a viral campaign for what exactly?
posted by falameufilho at 5:32 AM on June 3, 2011


See also Web 3.0.
posted by mis at 6:30 AM on June 3, 2011



posted by stormpooper at 6:36 AM on June 3, 2011


crap, that didn't work.

There went another fart joke
posted by stormpooper at 6:36 AM on June 3, 2011


This is an affront the the principles of HTML10 and the tag.
posted by oxford blue at 6:44 AM on June 3, 2011


Well that joke failed spectacularly.
posted by oxford blue at 6:46 AM on June 3, 2011


<smellovision>
posted by kirkaracha at 6:55 AM on June 3, 2011


The vibration tag, eh? Wink, wink? Elbow, elbow? Amirite?
posted by ostranenie at 7:59 AM on June 3, 2011


They lost me when on the religion page, they referred to currently unsupported religions being available in a yet-to-be-released service pack.

Service pack? IN MY HTML11? It's more suspension-of-disbelief breaking than you think!
posted by owtytrof at 10:34 AM on June 3, 2011




<taste class="taters">

<img src="taters.png" alt=" taters"/>

</taste>


posted by localhuman at 12:14 PM on June 3, 2011


Does it have a spoiler tag? Cause the last few weeks have shown me that would be useful.
posted by John Kenneth Fisher at 6:26 AM on June 4, 2011


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