Though primitive, even these early species had already adapted fully to parasitism on the plastic membranes of apple bags.
June 6, 2011 9:45 AM   Subscribe

Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group: Taxonomic Data of the Breadties of the World [via]
posted by brundlefly (15 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
The individual pages need to be longer. Pretty funny though. He also needs more species.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:54 AM on June 6, 2011


Yes, what of the species belonging to the Wire Twist Kingdom? In particular, those infuriating ones that have evolved to be somehow twisted in one direction and then the other.
posted by usonian at 9:58 AM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


But what about before occlupanids evolved? Surely there had to be a bridging species between unclosed bread bag and these more fully formed ones. The missing link?
posted by phunniemee at 9:59 AM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


wow, bread ties are called occlupanids? Sounds like a kind of spider
posted by marienbad at 10:05 AM on June 6, 2011


In Canada, occlupanids infest milk bags too. It would be interesting to see how the northern variant has adapted to a lactose-based diet.
posted by scruss at 10:13 AM on June 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


In Canada, occlupanids infest milk bags too.

Indeed. Perhaps because of their greater diversity in the north, they have had a more profound effect on the local human culture; they can sometimes be found as motifs on jewelry fashioned from silver.
posted by Kabanos at 10:20 AM on June 6, 2011


Oh man! This reminds me of The Traffic Cone Preservation Society.
posted by gnidan at 10:21 AM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I am so using this during my biology class next year.
posted by leetheflea at 10:45 AM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Does their coloring indicate separate broods with different life-cycles within the same species?
posted by steef at 10:48 AM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Amateur zoology at its finest!
posted by Fraxas at 11:54 AM on June 6, 2011


I am so using this during my biology class next year.

I'm actually going to use it my archaeology class as well!
posted by Rumple at 12:16 PM on June 6, 2011


wow, bread ties are called occlupanids? Sounds like a kind of spider
posted by marienbad at 10:05 AM on June 6 [+] [!]


Eh, well, it's a neologism - think occlu- as in occlude, pan as in the word for bread in Romance languages (eg pan in Spanish, pain in French, pane in Italian).
posted by kcds at 1:16 PM on June 6, 2011


The individual pages need to be longer. Pretty funny though. He also needs more species

Are you saying he needs to quit loafing?
posted by ShutterBun at 1:21 PM on June 6, 2011


scruss: "In Canada, occlupanids infest milk bags too."

Milk *bags*? Bags of milk? What sort of crazy land do you live in, man?
posted by dejah420 at 5:46 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Huge gap in their research: they don't elucidate the well-known color code, which has a very high correlation with the day on which the bread contained in any specific bag was baked:

"To remember which color is which day, put the colors in alphabetical order. Here's the breakdown:

Blue: Monday
Green: Tuesday
Red: Thursday
White: Friday
Yellow: Saturday"


Isn't it comforting to live in a world that makes so much sense? Except, no Wednesday?
posted by Corvid at 8:08 PM on June 6, 2011


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