September 16, 2001

9:33 PM

A Terrorist Profile Emerges That Confounds the Experts. The prototype for Muslim suicide bombers has been young, single, caught up in religious fervor and, often, desperate. They are usually promised financial security for their parents and told that they will be greeted by 70 black-eyed virgins in heaven. Though suicide is prohibited by Islamic law, some leaders have said there is an exception for soldiers in what they see as a holy war.
posted by semmi (12 comments total)

Perhaps they all had terminal cancer and were offered huge sums of money for their families. Who can know at this point what motivated them? I must admit, the 70 virgins thing is rather compelling....
posted by rushmc at 9:45 PM on September 16, 2001

30 virgins? Give me 30 harlots anyday. Who wants a virgin, wouldn't you want someone who knows what they are doing? ... at least if you have to deal with it for eternity.
posted by tomplus2 at 10:18 PM on September 16, 2001

I think, given how long eternity tends to be, all parties would learn to be good lovers. A bigger problem would be if they were to REMAIN virgins for eternity.
posted by thebigpoop at 11:07 PM on September 16, 2001

Eternity? Gonna take a talented lawyer to sort out a pre-nup on that one. Wonder if Pfizer supply the Ambrosia up there.

A bigger problem would be if they were to REMAIN virgins for eternity.

Perhaps that's where the black eyes come into play (__/o) (o\__)
posted by Kino at 11:18 PM on September 16, 2001

This New York Times article says:

Some knew one another and lived as neighbors in comfortable homes on quiet streets. Some brought their wives and children with them and took shopping trips to the mall in their Plymouth Voyagers. Their children attended public schools and played computer games with the neighborhood children.

And seeing from the above article and various FoxNews/MSNBC interviews that "Some occasionally drank too much in local bars," drove red convertibles and were regular customers at nudie bars; even from liberal Islamic perspective, these idiots are not seeing any Heavenly Virgins anytime.

According to some scholars the Houries (or Hoories), as the Heavenly Virgins are known, revirginates once their devirgination has taken place.
posted by tamim at 11:36 PM on September 16, 2001

''The crabs, on the other hand, have been known to stick aroundeth for second helpings'' - Prophet Scritchy Scratch of Babylon.
posted by Kino at 12:32 AM on September 17, 2001

Perhaps as an adaptation to living and working in the US, the profile has been updated for the new century! Hitting domestic targets as was done, sadly, on 9/11 requires a certain metamorphosis.
posted by heyadam at 1:40 AM on September 17, 2001

Not least from solid living breathing lifeform into hot gassy vapour in the blink of an eye.
posted by Kino at 2:24 AM on September 17, 2001

go kino go. that talk is a morale booster. (no sarcasm) love it. (remain virgins...hehn-hehn)
posted by newnameintown at 8:18 AM on September 17, 2001

i keep reading about this 30 or 70 virgins or whatever, but i am a muslim and i can't find that written anywhere...does anyone know where that came from, because it doesnt seem to be in the qur'an or hadith (sayings from the prophet)?
posted by zainab at 10:46 PM on September 18, 2001

ive had my 30 virgins on earth, do they have a runner-up prize?. say, a buick and new flatware?
posted by newnameintown at 8:30 AM on September 19, 2001

I read where it was in mythology(the number) and not in Holy Qur'an itself
posted by newnameintown at 2:20 PM on September 19, 2001