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Therapy With Translucent Pink Orbs That Do Nothing
June 6, 2011 5:17 PM   Subscribe

Hate The Future. Bad news from another time.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn (30 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

 
It's tumblr day on metafilter!

This seems to be a sort of Unhappy Hipsters type o' thing, but I'm sorry to say it doesn't pull it off. The jokes feel like premature ejaculations.
posted by oxford blue at 5:26 PM on June 6, 2011 [3 favorites]


I was all "meh" until I got to this one: Indiana

My dad grew up in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. His address was [His Name] Rural Route 1, [Town], IN. No house number. Just the only house in acres upon acres of soybeans. With no indoor plumbing.

Anyway, we went there to visit (i.e. see if the house was still standing) a few years ago, and it was all pretty boring driving around until my dad suddenly slammed on the breaks and exclaimed, "WELL, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?!" We pressed our faces up to the glass hoping to see what could possibly be so cool.

"What is it, dad?!"

"The stop sign! We never had one before!"
posted by phunniemee at 5:27 PM on June 6, 2011 [12 favorites]




Yay, spoilers.
posted by ZeusHumms at 5:34 PM on June 6, 2011


It's hit or miss, but the hits are often wonderful. I love this blog.
posted by ORthey at 5:47 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


It was okay, and then I hit the brutalism, and it got awesome.
posted by cashman at 5:52 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


You mean that galaxy behind the portal?
posted by vibrotronica at 6:00 PM on June 6, 2011


it's hard to say whether the future hates me or whether I hate the future. All I know if that I've been waiting for it for days and it still hasn't shown up.
posted by GuyZero at 6:15 PM on June 6, 2011


Edison hate future.
posted by Pallas Athena at 6:26 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: The mysterious craft is almost open, but also in the midst of opening.
posted by blue_beetle at 6:32 PM on June 6, 2011


You know who else had a terracylinder?
posted by blue_beetle at 6:41 PM on June 6, 2011


I have a haunting suspicion that for all those years as a pre-teen and teen, learning the ways of wilderness survival, combat, and the science of rebuilding civilization in a post-apocalyptic future, will be just a waste of time, as the future will just turn out to be akin to a court-ordered viewing of the same 18-hour block of GolfTV, on repeat, forever.
posted by chambers at 6:48 PM on June 6, 2011 [2 favorites]


I wonder what is the source of this image. It reminds me of Terranigma.
posted by MrFTBN at 7:00 PM on June 6, 2011


The problems of the future are a lot more inane than I expected.
posted by salvia at 7:20 PM on June 6, 2011


I love the Euthanasia Coaster.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:35 PM on June 6, 2011


Y'know, I've lived in Indiana nearly my whole life and I still haven't decided whether it's better to be infamous or totally overlooked.
posted by geegollygosh at 7:41 PM on June 6, 2011


chambers: I have a haunting suspicion that for all those years as a pre-teen and teen, learning the ways of wilderness survival, combat, and the science of rebuilding civilization in a post-apocalyptic future, will be just a waste of time, as the future will just turn out to be akin to a court-ordered viewing of the same 18-hour block of GolfTV, on repeat, forever.

salvia: The problems of the future are a lot more inane than I expected.

We should be so lucky. Every day I end up a little more worried that everything will end up kind of like The Road, just without the feel good, happy ending.
posted by codswallop at 7:44 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't get it.
posted by Afroblanco at 8:09 PM on June 6, 2011


I love the Euthanasia Coaster.

I love that its kinda a real thing.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 9:10 PM on June 6, 2011


MrFTBN, it was the cover of the late 80s paperback version of Foundation's Edge.
posted by khaibit at 9:11 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't get it.

In his own words.

Truth be told, it took a page or two before I got his angle. At first I was thinking "is he trying to be the Onion? Or some kind of Dark Side of Jay Leno's headlines? a take-off of SA's Fashion Swat?", but after a page or two, I really like this guy's angle. Now I can't stop. I'm really digging this dude's site. I think I've been revving up my 'cynical/snarky engine' before I click links far too much lately, and I'm missing out on some good fun every now and then.

And there's just so much of it - 58 pages, at about 15 posts/page. Right on, finally a site with a back catalog I can really sink my teeth into! The good stuff gets around so fast these days, it's hard to find a 'new' site that has more than 20 or so posts.
posted by chambers at 9:16 PM on June 6, 2011 [1 favorite]


The future seems to be as full of wry self-aware jokes as the present.
posted by blucevalo at 10:26 PM on June 6, 2011


Love this site. It's all very Douglas Adams, very sandwich-picking-up robot, very The Future May Be More Frightening Than Now But It's Just As Inane.
posted by wemayfreeze at 11:07 PM on June 6, 2011




You know who else had a terracylinder?

Wow, that image is in a book somewhere in my parents' crawlspace, the future of the 1970s was going to be so cool. Why didn't we put NASA and the UN in control? I blame all of this on Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan.
posted by Meatbomb at 12:58 AM on June 7, 2011


I find a lot of these hilarious. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I found this and this pretty funny.
posted by delmoi at 5:25 AM on June 7, 2011


It's hit-and-miss, but I think that's a natural consequence of his style. It gives me a John Hodgman-esque vibe in that these are falsehoods, but each is slightly plausible to the point where you start to question where reality ends and dystopia begins.
posted by Turkey Glue at 10:59 AM on June 7, 2011


And for what it's worth, draining horseshoe crabs has a legit medical purpose: their blood is used to check for toxicity of some medical devices (mostly implantables) because it coagulates in the presence of certain bacterial toxins. So, when a medical device is labeled "Pyrogen Free", it was tested with horseshoe crab blood.
posted by Turkey Glue at 11:03 AM on June 7, 2011


That's actually really interesting but it makes the photo no less dystopian. I'm going to forward it to people saying they're actually space aliens.
posted by GuyZero at 11:20 AM on June 7, 2011


It's like McSweeney's doing J.G. Ballard.
posted by acb at 10:09 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


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