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Vroom, Vroom: Boys and their Toys
June 8, 2011 2:58 PM   Subscribe


 
Is it possible for my inner five year old to have a stiffy? That was fantastic. And I love that "Do Not Attempt" is suspiciously absent from the ads.
posted by yerfatma at 3:05 PM on June 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


That jump was all kinds of crazy.
posted by unSane at 3:06 PM on June 8, 2011


Some more videos.
posted by yerfatma at 3:09 PM on June 8, 2011


And the landing was pretty marginal when you look at the head-on view -- guess they had the suspension tune for it as the car just sucked up the impact... kind of amazing.
posted by unSane at 3:10 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


I would have been more impressed if the car had made the jump propelled only by gravity or possibly a large rubber band.
posted by jedicus at 3:12 PM on June 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


...or maybe a giant boy.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 3:13 PM on June 8, 2011 [7 favorites]


Wake me when he dodges a giant plastic shark.
posted by Think_Long at 3:15 PM on June 8, 2011


NNNNYYYYYYOOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 3:15 PM on June 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


Was it Hot Wheels that had the cars with an airplane strapped to the top by a rubber band which would fly off when it hit some part of the track? Because if so, they really need to do that.
posted by schoolgirl report at 3:16 PM on June 8, 2011


Never have I more wanted to make that Tim Allen "Satisfied Man Sound". ARR ARR ARR
posted by mrbill at 3:17 PM on June 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


I would have been more impressed if the car had made the jump propelled only by gravity or possibly a large rubber band.

But then they would have had to build a gigantic table to clamp onto, which is an entirely different engineering nightmare.
posted by LionIndex at 3:20 PM on June 8, 2011


Who remembers the Supercharger? Hands up.
posted by davebush at 3:24 PM on June 8, 2011 [9 favorites]


That was awesome.
I still have my shoebox of cars at my parents place that my son sometimes plays with.
At some point in my youth I became aware of things and stopped calling them "dinky toys," which was a weird Canadian thing I guess.
posted by chococat at 3:25 PM on June 8, 2011


I hope these hot wheels commercials eventually descend into two MMA dudes fighting each other in an octagonal ring, whipping each other with hot wheels track parts.

I still have scars from fighting with those fucking things.
posted by mathowie at 3:26 PM on June 8, 2011 [14 favorites]




"I hope these hot wheels commercials eventually descend into two MMA dudes fighting each other in an octagonal ring, whipping each other with hot wheels track parts."

Sounds more like a fetish site I came across once. Well... more than once... ok, I used to hang out there a lot!
posted by greenhornet at 3:33 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


In related news.
posted by Skeptic at 3:37 PM on June 8, 2011


Seconding what unSane said about the suspension. Based on the two-wheeled landing, it looked like it was going to be a seriously bumpy (if not flippy-overy-y) landing, but the other two wheels completely stuck to the ramp and he was level in no time.

(I never went in for the supercharger, as it required batteries, which kinda seemed like cheating, to me. I had the Thundershift 500)
posted by ShutterBun at 3:37 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Thats nothing... try doing it without the automobile!
posted by uni verse at 4:00 PM on June 8, 2011


I'm sure at least one Mefite has tried that.
posted by ShutterBun at 4:10 PM on June 8, 2011


I recall our family cat (Buttons) having a fascination with the Supercharger, leading to numerous paw related wipe-outs. Also, just remembered laying track over stacks of encyclopedias to make hills.
posted by davebush at 4:17 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


In that actual ad with the orange loops, I really wanted them to show a super far away shot with maybe a little smoke or dust but mostly you just see the loops wobbling back and forth a little as the car goes through them.
posted by aubilenon at 4:24 PM on June 8, 2011


This could get even more dangerous if they do what I did and use the ramps to launch cars at my sleeping dad.
posted by lilkeith07 at 4:53 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


If the car was true to form, the 4 little springy things the wheels were attached to would have gotten bent to hell: the wheels permanently set in an arthritic camber and pigeon toe-in. And end up being traded to my little brother in a multi-car deal for a lousy Matchbox Studebaker wagon.
posted by klarck at 4:55 PM on June 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


They really ought to have had Adam Ferrara and Routledge Wood take some sort of mass transit to get to the end of the ramp.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:10 PM on June 8, 2011


I would have been more impressed if the car had made the jump propelled only by gravity or possibly a large rubber band.

But then they would have had to build a gigantic table to clamp onto, which is an entirely different engineering nightmare.


Old Spice Man Voice: "Spring Loaded Pusher Plate!"

1. Side by Side Jumping MUST be next. My inner 7 year old will not be denied!
2. I repeat: Detroit. Pick 5 Hot Wheels. Build them. Profit!

(I would sell everything for a WhipCreamer. Everything.)
posted by djrock3k at 5:11 PM on June 8, 2011


chococat: "That was awesome.
I still have my shoebox of cars at my parents place that my son sometimes plays with.
At some point in my youth I became aware of things and stopped calling them "dinky toys," which was a weird Canadian thing I guess.
"

Nope, I called them dinky toys too.
posted by bwg at 5:12 PM on June 8, 2011


Why do they keep calling him "Yellow Driver"? And his face is pixellated at first?
posted by gottabefunky at 5:19 PM on June 8, 2011


gottabefunky: "Why do they keep calling him "Yellow Driver"? And his face is pixellated at first?"

No doubt, that guy was anything but yellow.
posted by bwg at 5:22 PM on June 8, 2011


I just started singing 'Yellow Driver.'

To the tune of 'Holy Diver,' natch.
posted by box at 5:30 PM on June 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


I got into the stands just in time to see that go down. It was more impressive than I thought it would be. Even my other half, who's kind of an IndyCar purist, thought it was cool. Though he was kind of pissed about having that garish orange track in a lot of his pictures.

Actually, as someone who's been indifferent to racing all her life, I was more impressed by the whole shebang than I thought I would be. I guess that's why they call it "the greatest spectacle in racing."
posted by and miles to go before I sleep at 5:45 PM on June 8, 2011


When did the orange track become a thing? Me and everyone I knew growing up either had the red, white and blue bicentennial set or some other white track with thin lines on the outside of the lane. I remember there were at least two varieties I had though and even though they would fit together with those plastic shims the track height would be off by just enough to throw the car hundreds of scale-feet away from everything. Glad they didn't have that problem at Indy.
posted by mcrandello at 5:51 PM on June 8, 2011


Why did they pixelate the driver's face at the beginning of that video?
posted by pmcp at 6:31 PM on June 8, 2011


1.) So damn cool!
2.) Can't wait to show Boy in the AM.
3.) WTF Pixelation?
4.) Booth babes, track candy, pit vipers; goddamn I'm tired of all motorsports having these toothy smiling vacuous female-shaped carbon manikins wrapped in sponsor spandex, standing behind everyone who talks on camera. Jesus, that annoys me.
posted by dejah420 at 7:44 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why do they keep calling him "Yellow Driver"? And his face is pixellated at first?-- gottabefunky

They are making it all about the brand and not the driver (though that is some fancy driving!). Anyone getting the reputation of Evil Kenevil quickly becomes no longer affordable and the ad campaign comes to a halt.

They can even use different drivers for different stunts. Or different colors!

Reminds me of a neighbor who used to have an all-yellow leather motorcycle outfit. He'd always come out of his house with his helmet on. My young Power Ranger loving son's jaw would drop when he saw him. The neighbor once noticed this, and thereafter would always do some quick Karate moves before getting on his cycle, further blowing my son's mind.
posted by eye of newt at 7:55 PM on June 8, 2011 [5 favorites]


When did the orange track become a thing?

Orange track predates any of the fancy bicentennial tracks. It's the original, with purple connectors, iirc. And taking a gander for that turned up something I had completely forgotten about, the Snake vs Mongoose drag pack, that had little parachutes lying under the track you had to repack each run. Your car would hit the little tab sticking up from the box and pull the chute out, and it was so glorious it ate my wee mind.

♫ Misty watercolored memorieeeeeesssss ♫

Speaking of, did anyone have a Sizzlers Fat Track, with the little rechargeable ni-cad battery cars? It was Mattel's attempt to update Hot Wheels. #1 speaks of the scars from the orange tracks but a headshot from one of those ginormous Fat Track straightaways was the equivalent of taking a 1x6 to the noggin. And hurling one of the rigid banked curve sections boomerang stylee meant stitches for recipient.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 8:06 PM on June 8, 2011


goddamn I'm tired of all motorsports having these toothy smiling vacuous female-shaped carbon manikins wrapped in sponsor spandex, standing behind everyone who talks on camera.

They're just there to shield the camera from the image of actual racing fans.
posted by ShutterBun at 9:57 PM on June 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Why do they keep calling him "Yellow Driver"? And his face is pixellated at first?

Anonymity seems to work pretty well for The Stig.
posted by ShutterBun at 10:23 PM on June 8, 2011


Still got 'em.
posted by DaddyNewt at 11:06 PM on June 8, 2011


Oh man, it reminds me of that Brøderbund game i used to love so much.
posted by palbo at 4:24 AM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hmm, better video of the stunts game.
posted by palbo at 4:25 AM on June 9, 2011


chococat: "That was awesome.
I still have my shoebox of cars at my parents place that my son sometimes plays with.
At some point in my youth I became aware of things and stopped calling them "dinky toys," which was a weird Canadian thing I guess."

Nope, I called them dinky toys too.
posted by bwg at 5:12 PM on June 8


Dinky Toys
posted by kcds at 4:32 AM on June 9, 2011


That shade of orange triggers an automatic "Cool!" deep in my 5 year old brain.

And mere talk of the purple connectors is more evocative than Proust's madeline.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:16 AM on June 9, 2011


And the landing was pretty marginal when you look at the head-on view -- guess they had the suspension tune for it as the car just sucked up the impact... kind of amazing.

Yeah, this 269' jump with a rally car would have totally wrecked with that landing.
posted by smackfu at 6:43 AM on June 9, 2011


Seeing that Tanner Foust was involved, I thought for sure that this was going to be an effort on the part of the Top Gear America team to finally do something bigger than the original BBC version.

I look forward to seeing what they make James May do in response.
posted by quin at 7:55 AM on June 9, 2011


There was something on TV a few Sunday's ago, maybe the week of or two weeks before the Indy 500. Hot Wheels engineers installed a length of orange track to a sheer cliff face with 'minimal environmental impact' for when the track was removed. Some bad ass then proceeded to drive said track, making full speed hairpin turns hundreds of feet above the forest canopy before coming to a stop on a trap door which then dropped him straight down to another section of track a hundred feet below.

"At least we know the trap door works" said the sexy command ops lady.
posted by daHIFI at 8:43 AM on June 9, 2011


This is the first global brand equity spot in the history of the brand that was designed to work against the core demo

Am I the only one creeped out by the fact that it's apparently standard advertising jargon to speak of ads as working "against" the target audience. As if they're saying "we think this ad will defeat the (intelligence? sales resistance?) of our targets." As if referring to potential customers as "targets" isn't bad enough.
posted by straight at 2:29 PM on June 9, 2011


There's got to be some sort of connection between being beat by a sibling with Hot Wheels track as a kid and enjoyment of a lil' BDSM later in life..
posted by mrbill at 2:13 PM on June 10, 2011


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