I like you. I think we can get along very nicely.
June 9, 2011 12:05 PM Subscribe
Evidence that great white sharks are peaceful creatures
Valerie Taylor handfeeds a great white shark in this clip from Shadow of the Shark, from Australian Geographic TV.
Valerie Taylor handfeeds a great white shark in this clip from Shadow of the Shark, from Australian Geographic TV.
They are wild animals not monsters. Just like wolves, bears, bison and bats. They are neither peaceful nor vile. Of they mistake you for food they will eat you. It is best to leave them alone. People used to feed the grisley bears in Yellowstone as well. That ended badly.
posted by humanfont at 12:08 PM on June 9, 2011 [20 favorites]
posted by humanfont at 12:08 PM on June 9, 2011 [20 favorites]
Yeah, kids, jump on in. They're peaceful!
posted by Huck500 at 12:09 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Huck500 at 12:09 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
i cant watch without having my heart race and yet am amazed she can get away with doing that. that's intense.
posted by liza at 12:09 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by liza at 12:09 PM on June 9, 2011
Am I sick for thinking that was absolutely adorable?
posted by empatterson at 12:10 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by empatterson at 12:10 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Personally, I've never thought that great white sharks were particularly mean-spirited, just that they have this habit of misidentifying food sources, and before they decide that what they are biting isn't something that they want (e.g. you) they've done enough damage to be terrifying.
Shorter: great whites can still be very peaceful as animals, but as predators, they represent the kind of capricious indifference that makes nature itself completely scary.
posted by quin at 12:10 PM on June 9, 2011 [15 favorites]
Shorter: great whites can still be very peaceful as animals, but as predators, they represent the kind of capricious indifference that makes nature itself completely scary.
posted by quin at 12:10 PM on June 9, 2011 [15 favorites]
i cant watch without having my heart race and yet am amazed she can get away with doing that.
She'll get away with it until she doesn't, I guess.
posted by empath at 12:11 PM on June 9, 2011 [10 favorites]
She'll get away with it until she doesn't, I guess.
posted by empath at 12:11 PM on June 9, 2011 [10 favorites]
That shark is so friendly we should totally put a parachute on it.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 12:11 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 12:11 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]
Evidence that great white sharks are peaceful creatures
Peaceful creatures are things that you invite over to the house for dinner, go have drinks with, maybe shoot some pool with.
I would not recommend doing any of those things with a great white shark. Everything would be fine for a while, but when those hunger pangs set it, things could complicated.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:12 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
Peaceful creatures are things that you invite over to the house for dinner, go have drinks with, maybe shoot some pool with.
I would not recommend doing any of those things with a great white shark. Everything would be fine for a while, but when those hunger pangs set it, things could complicated.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:12 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
Sharks are no different from any other predator. As long as you're careful around them and feed them they'll probably like you. Hell look at dogs, most dogs could kill and eat a person but do they? No because eating out of a food bowl is way easier.
posted by Cyclopsis Raptor at 12:13 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by Cyclopsis Raptor at 12:13 PM on June 9, 2011
They also like AC/DC so they can't be all bad (or maybe this makes them badder).
posted by cjorgensen at 12:13 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by cjorgensen at 12:13 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
only humans think in terms of "peace." This is an animal.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:14 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Ironmouth at 12:14 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Sure, you're just like peas and carrots—until you run out of fish.
posted by steef at 12:14 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by steef at 12:14 PM on June 9, 2011
That shark is eating the fish but I think we all know it's secretly wondering if the kindly old lady tastes of chicken.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by MuffinMan at 12:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
I didn't realize that sharks jaws sort of jut out when they bite.
Also note that the lady didn't keep her feet down on the platform after feeding the shark, and doesn't keep her hand out for the shark to give it any "love bites".
It's times like this that I wish WhySharksMatter was still an active member.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
Also note that the lady didn't keep her feet down on the platform after feeding the shark, and doesn't keep her hand out for the shark to give it any "love bites".
It's times like this that I wish WhySharksMatter was still an active member.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
If you hear that "Jaws" music, carefully back away from them.
posted by longsleeves at 12:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by longsleeves at 12:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
If you like this, you may enjoy Cheetah woman, who displays a remarkable understanding of big-cat psychology and social signaling.
posted by Mister_A at 12:17 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 12:17 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
I think I watched the same video as whomever named it, but I'm not sure that peaceful is exactly the adjective I'd use.
Not evil? In a way!
Adorable? I think so!
Peaceful? Fuck no!
Kind of like a cat I guess...
posted by Blasdelb at 12:17 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]
Not evil? In a way!
Adorable? I think so!
Peaceful? Fuck no!
Kind of like a cat I guess...
posted by Blasdelb at 12:17 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]
Peaceful creatures are things that you invite over to the house for dinner, go have drinks with, maybe shoot some pool with.
I would not recommend doing any of those things with a great white shark. Everything would be fine for a while, but when those hunger pangs set it, things could complicated.
Also, gills instead of lungs.
posted by verb at 12:18 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
I would not recommend doing any of those things with a great white shark. Everything would be fine for a while, but when those hunger pangs set it, things could complicated.
Also, gills instead of lungs.
posted by verb at 12:18 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
No, there's a cream for that.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:18 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:18 PM on June 9, 2011
They're just kittens, until they find out you're made of food.
posted by scruss at 12:20 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by scruss at 12:20 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
This is evidence for the peacable nature of great whites the way a beautiful waterfall is evidence for the divinity of Christ.
I knew someone would bring religion into this (disparagingly of course). Irrelevant.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2011
I knew someone would bring religion into this (disparagingly of course). Irrelevant.
posted by Seekerofsplendor at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2011
Calling that 'hand feeding' is pretty generous. Usually when you hand feed an animal, there's some petting and a mutual comfort with one another. Also, the animal is usually domesticated and very tolerant/familiar with people.
Giving a shark free food - which they'll gladly take, along with your arm - isn't proof of either hand feeding, domestication or friendliness.
Now, just because great white sharks will eat your ENTIRE body if they want to, doesn't mean they should be hunted down or removed, but like any wild animal they shouldn't be hand fed.
posted by glaucon at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Giving a shark free food - which they'll gladly take, along with your arm - isn't proof of either hand feeding, domestication or friendliness.
Now, just because great white sharks will eat your ENTIRE body if they want to, doesn't mean they should be hunted down or removed, but like any wild animal they shouldn't be hand fed.
posted by glaucon at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
"Who's a good shark? Is it you? Yes it is!"
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
"And who's my boojie boojie, you are my boojie boojieeeee...
BUWWHAHAHAHAGGGHHHH AHHHHGGGG GET HIM OFF OF ME AGGGGHHHHH....."
pant, pant, *blood squirt* sigh................
"Whew! Who's my boojie boojie? "
posted by stormpooper at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]
BUWWHAHAHAHAGGGHHHH AHHHHGGGG GET HIM OFF OF ME AGGGGHHHHH....."
pant, pant, *blood squirt* sigh................
"Whew! Who's my boojie boojie? "
posted by stormpooper at 12:23 PM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]
> People used to feed the grisley bears in Yellowstone as well.
This happened when I was there in the summer of 1988! A mother bear and two or three cubs were wandering around the outskirts of whichever campsite I was staying at, and people started crowding around to take photos (some with their kids in the frame) and toss food at them until a ranger showed up and told everyone to back the fuck up while the bears were herded away from the site. Do these dumbasses think the animals are trained for their amusement, or robots like the Country Bears?
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:25 PM on June 9, 2011
This happened when I was there in the summer of 1988! A mother bear and two or three cubs were wandering around the outskirts of whichever campsite I was staying at, and people started crowding around to take photos (some with their kids in the frame) and toss food at them until a ranger showed up and told everyone to back the fuck up while the bears were herded away from the site. Do these dumbasses think the animals are trained for their amusement, or robots like the Country Bears?
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:25 PM on June 9, 2011
This could also be a viral campaign by the 'Yes, We're Certainly Human' Association - a Shark run lobbying group that advocates a positive image of sharks in order to get more humans in the water.
Their motives remain murky...
posted by glaucon at 12:25 PM on June 9, 2011 [7 favorites]
Their motives remain murky...
posted by glaucon at 12:25 PM on June 9, 2011 [7 favorites]
Related: Ted Danson was on Diane Reame this afternoon, and related how around 10% of the big fish species are still left in the ocean due to overfishing.
If a shark is terrifying to you, imagine a species that kills 9 out of 10 humans to put the relationship into perspective.
posted by codacorolla at 12:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [11 favorites]
If a shark is terrifying to you, imagine a species that kills 9 out of 10 humans to put the relationship into perspective.
posted by codacorolla at 12:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [11 favorites]
The thing is, that's clearly a muslim shark, and the woman in the video is not Halal.
posted by Mister_A at 12:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 12:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
These creatures are almost exactly like us.
They eat food. Not too much. Mostly seals.
posted by Verdant at 12:29 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
They eat food. Not too much. Mostly seals.
posted by Verdant at 12:29 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
They're just kittens, until they find out you're made of food.
Actually, humans are not good food for sharks. not enough fat (well, maybe a really fat human). They'll typically bite us and then swim off after tasting us.
posted by delmoi at 12:30 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
Actually, humans are not good food for sharks. not enough fat (well, maybe a really fat human). They'll typically bite us and then swim off after tasting us.
posted by delmoi at 12:30 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
[I]f they mistake you for food they will eat you.
You are food for them.
I'm not falling for it. This is just shark propaganda to lure us into the water...
posted by The Michael The at 12:32 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
You are food for them.
I'm not falling for it. This is just shark propaganda to lure us into the water...
posted by The Michael The at 12:32 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
They'll typically bite us and then swim off after tasting us.
Sharks are so damn picky - why can't they just eat what's in front of them?
posted by glaucon at 12:32 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Sharks are so damn picky - why can't they just eat what's in front of them?
posted by glaucon at 12:32 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
I feel that the shark and I had an understanding.
Why don't you ask Timothy Treadwell and Amie Huguenard about the mythical understanding they had with grizzly bears? Oh right they got eaten.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:33 PM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]
Why don't you ask Timothy Treadwell and Amie Huguenard about the mythical understanding they had with grizzly bears? Oh right they got eaten.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:33 PM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]
They aren't biting you, they are kissing you!
posted by Ad hominem at 12:33 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Ad hominem at 12:33 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Peaceful = Not currently eating someone?
Well, then Jeffrey Dahmler is a pretty peaceful guy too!
posted by blue_beetle at 12:33 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
Well, then Jeffrey Dahmler is a pretty peaceful guy too!
posted by blue_beetle at 12:33 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
Peaceful animals with three rows of razor-sharp mounted on jaws as strong as an hydraulic press. They can be real lambs, if you want, I'm not getting anywhere near them.
posted by Skeptic at 12:35 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by Skeptic at 12:35 PM on June 9, 2011
I've always maintained that shark attacks on humans are the exception, not the rule.
Having grown up on the beach, and spending bazillions of hours in the ocean, I can say this without hesitation: the sharks are always there. Fly over a beach and you'll see lots of sharks in and around swimmers and surfers. Fish off the end of a pier at night and you'll have a good shot at catching a shark.
They aren't "mean" or "violent", but they aren't "nice",either. Even though I'm not scared of sharks, I still don't recommend swimming at dawn or dusk. They are highly-evolved, highly-efficient predators who don't pick fights they can't win.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:38 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
Having grown up on the beach, and spending bazillions of hours in the ocean, I can say this without hesitation: the sharks are always there. Fly over a beach and you'll see lots of sharks in and around swimmers and surfers. Fish off the end of a pier at night and you'll have a good shot at catching a shark.
They aren't "mean" or "violent", but they aren't "nice",either. Even though I'm not scared of sharks, I still don't recommend swimming at dawn or dusk. They are highly-evolved, highly-efficient predators who don't pick fights they can't win.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:38 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
It would do wonders for great whites' PR if surfers started printing "NOT A SEAL" in big block letters on the bottom of their boards.
posted by brundlefly at 12:39 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by brundlefly at 12:39 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
I still don't recommend swimming at dawn or dusk.
But that's the best time to shred...
posted by nathancaswell at 12:41 PM on June 9, 2011
But that's the best time to shred...
posted by nathancaswell at 12:41 PM on June 9, 2011
here's a video of a bear stalking a dude
And, here's a lady taunting a black bear to prove how safe they are.
posted by delmoi at 12:45 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
And, here's a lady taunting a black bear to prove how safe they are.
posted by delmoi at 12:45 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
Interestingly I just watched this last night, seems apropos.
posted by dragstroke at 12:45 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by dragstroke at 12:45 PM on June 9, 2011
I still remember swimming with the leopard sharks while doing research up at Isthmus, on Santa Catalina Island.
The sharks were only 3-4 feet long and they were circling in close to the shore, I guess where it was a bit warmer. I'd wade out into the water up to my waist and bob around amidst the sharks' as they made their looping trajectory near the shore. It was awesome to have them swim around my legs, occasionally flicking me with their tail. Beautiful animals.
It was a little risky and I was a little foolish, but they were quite docile. I'd never do that with bigger sharks, nor in water deeper than my waist. But that was one of my great life memories, swimming with those fantastic creatures.
posted by darkstar at 12:49 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
The sharks were only 3-4 feet long and they were circling in close to the shore, I guess where it was a bit warmer. I'd wade out into the water up to my waist and bob around amidst the sharks' as they made their looping trajectory near the shore. It was awesome to have them swim around my legs, occasionally flicking me with their tail. Beautiful animals.
It was a little risky and I was a little foolish, but they were quite docile. I'd never do that with bigger sharks, nor in water deeper than my waist. But that was one of my great life memories, swimming with those fantastic creatures.
posted by darkstar at 12:49 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
Having grown up on the beach, and spending bazillions of hours in the ocean, I can say this without hesitation: the sharks are always there. Fly over a beach and you'll see lots of sharks in and around swimmers and surfers.
Oh god, this isn't literally true, is it? The sharks aren't actually there amongst the swimmers in the shallow waters, lurking unseen - they're out in the deeper water, right? I am having a truly horrible mental image of a beach full of happy families splashing around and tossing beach balls while the sharks swim around their legs unseen.
I thought great whites, like tiger sharks, actually were big enough to enjoy/get used to eating people?
posted by Frowner at 12:51 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh god, this isn't literally true, is it? The sharks aren't actually there amongst the swimmers in the shallow waters, lurking unseen - they're out in the deeper water, right? I am having a truly horrible mental image of a beach full of happy families splashing around and tossing beach balls while the sharks swim around their legs unseen.
I thought great whites, like tiger sharks, actually were big enough to enjoy/get used to eating people?
posted by Frowner at 12:51 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
I swear I can hear a tuba in the background of this video quietly playing.....
E F.......E F......E F....E F..E F..E FEFEF.
posted by schmod at 12:55 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
E F.......E F......E F....E F..E F..E FEFEF.
posted by schmod at 12:55 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
I think Rob Schneider's character "Ula" from 50 First Dates said it best when he said "Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts."
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:58 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:58 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Sharks suffer from the unfortunate anatomical disability that their primary way of feeling things out just happens to involve multiple rows of sharp teeth. The hypothesis that most shark attacks are bite-and-release incidents seems to fit with the fact that the bodies appear to have been recovered for almost all lethal attacks.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 1:01 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by KirkJobSluder at 1:01 PM on June 9, 2011
Fry: That was fun. Let's give him a treat!
[He puts 5c in a "Dino-Feed" machine and it dispenses a live pig. He holds it up to the dinosaur. The pig squeals.]
Leela: Keep your palms flat.
posted by utsutsu at 1:01 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]
[He puts 5c in a "Dino-Feed" machine and it dispenses a live pig. He holds it up to the dinosaur. The pig squeals.]
Leela: Keep your palms flat.
posted by utsutsu at 1:01 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]
I'm waiting for someone to post the story of the lady who hand-fed sharks and petted Morray eels in TV shows, and, as empath said, it worked, until it didn't.
One of my sisters had a theory as a toddler, that bees didn't sting. She caught them in her hands and showed them off to us as proof of this theory. Until it didn't.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:06 PM on June 9, 2011
One of my sisters had a theory as a toddler, that bees didn't sting. She caught them in her hands and showed them off to us as proof of this theory. Until it didn't.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:06 PM on June 9, 2011
The great white shark is not peaceful. The great white shark is not evil.
The great white shark swims. The great white shark eats.
That is all.
posted by secondhand pho at 1:07 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
The great white shark swims. The great white shark eats.
That is all.
posted by secondhand pho at 1:07 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
So, the evidence that they are peaceful is showing a video of them eating? I thought this was going to be a view of them playing with kittens.
posted by JJ86 at 1:12 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by JJ86 at 1:12 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Kittens are not peaceful animals.
posted by stbalbach at 1:13 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by stbalbach at 1:13 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
The great white also makes little sharks, secondhand pho
posted by Brainy at 1:13 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Brainy at 1:13 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
The shark bites down pretty hard on the steel ladder in that video, but I'm pretty sure that's because he was trying to protect the nice lady form the naughty steel ladder.
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by StickyCarpet at 1:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
stbalbach: "Kittens are not peaceful animals."
Case in point.
posted by schmod at 1:19 PM on June 9, 2011
Case in point.
posted by schmod at 1:19 PM on June 9, 2011
I made a few visits to the Exotic Feline Rescue Center outside of Centerpoint, IN and asked about the tigers' relationship to the human handlers. The answer I got was something like, "oh, she wouldn't eat me, but she'd playfully love me to death if she got the chance."
posted by KirkJobSluder at 1:22 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by KirkJobSluder at 1:22 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
She acts all calm, but you can clearly see at 1:53 in the video that she's pissed herself silly...
posted by hincandenza at 1:31 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by hincandenza at 1:31 PM on June 9, 2011
Peaceful, my ass. Maybe willing to hold off killing you while you have a dead fish in your hands.
posted by zzazazz at 1:49 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by zzazazz at 1:49 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
It's a perfect engine, uh, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine wants to do is swim, and eat, and make little sharks. And that's all!
posted by ShutterBun at 2:00 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by ShutterBun at 2:00 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
The answer I got was something like, "oh, she wouldn't eat me, but she'd playfully love me to death if she got the chance."
Many years ago, a friend of mine was working with a place that dealt with exotic animals and they ended up with a slightly older than adolescent Siberian tiger. It had to be rescued because it had accidentally killed its original owner by overly playing and snapping his neck, and they were looking for a place to care for it.
My answer to his joking query was, "Yes, it's adorable, no, I don't want to keep it at my house..."
And watching my small house-cats, who assure me that they love me very much, occasionally lose their shit and attack me with a sort of fervor that can best be characterized as "unholy", I think I made the right choice on the whole not-getting-a-cat-bigger-than-me-that-has-already-accidentally-killed-someone thing.
posted by quin at 2:08 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
Many years ago, a friend of mine was working with a place that dealt with exotic animals and they ended up with a slightly older than adolescent Siberian tiger. It had to be rescued because it had accidentally killed its original owner by overly playing and snapping his neck, and they were looking for a place to care for it.
My answer to his joking query was, "Yes, it's adorable, no, I don't want to keep it at my house..."
And watching my small house-cats, who assure me that they love me very much, occasionally lose their shit and attack me with a sort of fervor that can best be characterized as "unholy", I think I made the right choice on the whole not-getting-a-cat-bigger-than-me-that-has-already-accidentally-killed-someone thing.
posted by quin at 2:08 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]
Human beings can still be very peaceful as a people, but as predators, they represent the kind of capricious indifference that makes sentience itself completely scary.
Apologies to quin, above.
posted by Splunge at 2:24 PM on June 9, 2011
Apologies to quin, above.
posted by Splunge at 2:24 PM on June 9, 2011
Seems they're comfusing calm with friendly. My first impression was suprise that the nictating membrane almost never fully covered the shark's eye when it was biting. My first thought was that the shark amlost seemed drugged, as I had believed that was a nearly involuntary reaction. I'm not an Icthyologist, but I do have a long standing interest and love for sharks. And, yes, Frowner, it is literally true. At least on the west coast of Florida. I've seen it myself from a small plane flying from SRQ to Naples airport. Everyone loves the warm shallows! People and sharks. Swimming together. Mass hysteria..
posted by Redhush at 2:30 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by Redhush at 2:30 PM on June 9, 2011
I was going to say that Timothy Treadwell "had a feeling" as well, but it looks like nathancaswell beat me to it.
posted by deadbilly at 2:39 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by deadbilly at 2:39 PM on June 9, 2011
The great white shark swims. The great white shark eats.
That is all.
The great white also dreams longingly of cupcakes. This is why he seems so ornery. After millions of years of seals and fish, you think someone could throw him a damn cupcake once in a while, but no...
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:44 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]
That is all.
The great white also dreams longingly of cupcakes. This is why he seems so ornery. After millions of years of seals and fish, you think someone could throw him a damn cupcake once in a while, but no...
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:44 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]
Great whites, when they have attacked humans, usually take the first bite, realize that they do not taste like a seal, and then either 1. Go away and search for other prey, or 2. Circle slowly waiting until the victim dies.
Either way, the wounds are grievous. "I like you and I think that we can get along very nicely, " if that is what this woman thinks that the shark is thinking, well she's crazy regardless of the fact that, as of this filming, she has her life and all 4 appendages intact.
posted by Danf at 2:50 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Either way, the wounds are grievous. "I like you and I think that we can get along very nicely, " if that is what this woman thinks that the shark is thinking, well she's crazy regardless of the fact that, as of this filming, she has her life and all 4 appendages intact.
posted by Danf at 2:50 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
I've mentioned this before, but the highlight of my experience at the EFRC was getting to cuddle a baby tiger, a cute little thing about the size of a housecat, with these ridiculous oversized paws that grabbed onto leather gloves in order to gnaw on the fingers inside. It was a about dozen pounds of surprisingly strong kitteny malice. Even at that tender age, I think if you tried the surprised kitty game without gloves you'd end up with stitches.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 2:50 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by KirkJobSluder at 2:50 PM on June 9, 2011
Danf: Yes, "they'll only bite you once, out of curiosity" is cold comfort when you're talking about getting nommed by multiple rows of serrated tearing teeth.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 2:53 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by KirkJobSluder at 2:53 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
They should get Werner Herzog to narrate.
posted by the_artificer at 3:03 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by the_artificer at 3:03 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
Candygram?
posted by JHarris at 3:11 PM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 3:11 PM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]
Oh god, this isn't literally true, is it? The sharks aren't actually there amongst the swimmers in the shallow waters, lurking unseen - they're out in the deeper water, right?
I grew up surfing in the Pacific off the coast of Southern California. There's a whole lot of sharks in those waters. I've been nosed and bumped by them, I've seen them in the water, and I've caught (and eaten them) off the coast or piers.
Closest to shore you'll get small sandsharks, maybe 2-3 foot long at the maximum. They bury themselves and hide in sand, which when you consider stingrays is the reason why a lot of seasoned surfers shuffle and stomp their feet as they walk in shallows to scare them off.
A bit farther out it's leopard sharks and maybe the occasional blue shark, and larger. The occasional thresher shark makes an appearance. Great whites are pretty rare in SoCal, but they get plenty of them farther north near SF.
Common surfer lore is that large sharks don't like the turbulence and whitewater of a beach break, that their cartilage-based spines can't take the thrashing the way a dolphin or seal (or human) can, but I'm not going to be at all surprised if this information is wrong. Mainly because it's not that hard for a human to swim below the turbulence of a wave or break. Has to be dead easy for a shark.
So, uh, yeah. There's sharks in the water, and they don't do that "fin sticking out of the water" thing like in Jaws. They're the stealth fighters of the ocean. You can barely see 'em when they're right below you in the water because they've spent about 100 million years evolving so they can't be seen by food on the surface.
If you've been swimming in the open ocean chances are pretty good you've been within a quarter of a mile or much less of a shark of some kind. Chances are good you've had a shark check you out and it didn't like how you smelled, so it left you alone.
Considering how many people go in the water and how many sharks there are, it's actually rather encouraging that there aren't many, many more shark attacks. But there aren't, because sharks are pretty smart, and they know we're not appetizing food for them.
Sharks have way more to fear from us then we do from them, anyway. Have you see what deep sea shark fishing is like? Seriously brutal stuff. It makes bow hunting rabbits look humane by comparison.
posted by loquacious at 3:17 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
I grew up surfing in the Pacific off the coast of Southern California. There's a whole lot of sharks in those waters. I've been nosed and bumped by them, I've seen them in the water, and I've caught (and eaten them) off the coast or piers.
Closest to shore you'll get small sandsharks, maybe 2-3 foot long at the maximum. They bury themselves and hide in sand, which when you consider stingrays is the reason why a lot of seasoned surfers shuffle and stomp their feet as they walk in shallows to scare them off.
A bit farther out it's leopard sharks and maybe the occasional blue shark, and larger. The occasional thresher shark makes an appearance. Great whites are pretty rare in SoCal, but they get plenty of them farther north near SF.
Common surfer lore is that large sharks don't like the turbulence and whitewater of a beach break, that their cartilage-based spines can't take the thrashing the way a dolphin or seal (or human) can, but I'm not going to be at all surprised if this information is wrong. Mainly because it's not that hard for a human to swim below the turbulence of a wave or break. Has to be dead easy for a shark.
So, uh, yeah. There's sharks in the water, and they don't do that "fin sticking out of the water" thing like in Jaws. They're the stealth fighters of the ocean. You can barely see 'em when they're right below you in the water because they've spent about 100 million years evolving so they can't be seen by food on the surface.
If you've been swimming in the open ocean chances are pretty good you've been within a quarter of a mile or much less of a shark of some kind. Chances are good you've had a shark check you out and it didn't like how you smelled, so it left you alone.
Considering how many people go in the water and how many sharks there are, it's actually rather encouraging that there aren't many, many more shark attacks. But there aren't, because sharks are pretty smart, and they know we're not appetizing food for them.
Sharks have way more to fear from us then we do from them, anyway. Have you see what deep sea shark fishing is like? Seriously brutal stuff. It makes bow hunting rabbits look humane by comparison.
posted by loquacious at 3:17 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
Common surfer lore is that large sharks don't like the turbulence and whitewater of a beach break, that their cartilage-based spines can't take the thrashing the way a dolphin or seal (or human) can, but I'm not going to be at all surprised if this information is wrong
Uhh yeah, watching the sharks flip in the air as they grab a seal in blue planet makes me strongly doubt this piece of lore
posted by crayz at 3:25 PM on June 9, 2011
Uhh yeah, watching the sharks flip in the air as they grab a seal in blue planet makes me strongly doubt this piece of lore
posted by crayz at 3:25 PM on June 9, 2011
Oh god, this isn't literally true, is it?
Oh. yeah, it's true. A lot of sharks share the shallows with swimmers. Nurse sharks, sand sharks and tiger sharks to name a few.
But:
Most sharks aren't nearly as big as white sharks, and most big species of sharks live in deeper water. Bait fish (i.e. food) can attract bigger sharks up into shallower water - if you see a bazillion jumping small(er) fish schooling in your swimming area you should probably get out until they leave. (Baitfish can attract dangerous fish, too like bluefish and barracudas.)
You are not part of the shark's routine. They are after smaller, easier prey. You're chances of a chance enconuter are slim to nothing.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 3:29 PM on June 9, 2011
Oh. yeah, it's true. A lot of sharks share the shallows with swimmers. Nurse sharks, sand sharks and tiger sharks to name a few.
But:
Most sharks aren't nearly as big as white sharks, and most big species of sharks live in deeper water. Bait fish (i.e. food) can attract bigger sharks up into shallower water - if you see a bazillion jumping small(er) fish schooling in your swimming area you should probably get out until they leave. (Baitfish can attract dangerous fish, too like bluefish and barracudas.)
You are not part of the shark's routine. They are after smaller, easier prey. You're chances of a chance enconuter are slim to nothing.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 3:29 PM on June 9, 2011
You're chances of a chance enconuter are slim to nothing.
Not only that , your odds of a chance encounter are slim to none.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 3:36 PM on June 9, 2011
Not only that , your odds of a chance encounter are slim to none.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 3:36 PM on June 9, 2011
How do I scream over the internet?
posted by msali at 3:38 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by msali at 3:38 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
Oh man, I got in trouble at work for laughing out loud at some of these responses.
But just to echo some of the sentiments here, sharks aren't peaceful nor are they warlike. Just as they aren't contemplative or vengeful or generous. It's an animal that needs to eat and reproduce like every other animal on this planet.
We call certain animals peaceful only because we don't really fit anywhere in their diet.
Of course all of this is null and void when it comes to kittens. Kittens are vengeful and warlike, with an extreme need for human blood second only to vampires.
posted by R_Kamidees at 4:06 PM on June 9, 2011
But just to echo some of the sentiments here, sharks aren't peaceful nor are they warlike. Just as they aren't contemplative or vengeful or generous. It's an animal that needs to eat and reproduce like every other animal on this planet.
We call certain animals peaceful only because we don't really fit anywhere in their diet.
Of course all of this is null and void when it comes to kittens. Kittens are vengeful and warlike, with an extreme need for human blood second only to vampires.
posted by R_Kamidees at 4:06 PM on June 9, 2011
One thing that makes me shake with rage is when you hear about a "shark attack" in Western Australia or something (and it's never actually an "attack", it's more of a "sampling"), and the surfer dude has got part of his leg dangling off but is otherwise okay, relatively speaking, within minutes you get a bunch of cocksuckers on-screen saying "We gotta get out there and kill this shark, it's a menace" and then they go out and kill like twenty sharks and are all "Pretty sure we got it" and, y'know, fuck you.
posted by tumid dahlia at 4:19 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by tumid dahlia at 4:19 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Meterman
posted by clavdivs at 4:44 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 4:44 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
While kayaking around the Channel Islands in California I've had dozens of shark encounters, all of them peaceful. At most they'll bump the side of the boat and swim on. Never tried petting or feeding them though...
posted by the_artificer at 4:52 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by the_artificer at 4:52 PM on June 9, 2011
If you've been swimming in the open ocean chances are pretty good you've been within a quarter of a mile or much less of a shark of some kind
brb huddling in bathtub with a knife
posted by elizardbits at 5:11 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
brb huddling in bathtub with a knife
posted by elizardbits at 5:11 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]
Kittens are vengeful and warlike, with an extreme need for human blood second only to vampires.
Kittens need vampires?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:12 PM on June 9, 2011
Kittens need vampires?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:12 PM on June 9, 2011
Is there even such a thing as a peaceful creature? Right now the cat and I are sprawled out flat, because it has been hot as balls for the past few days. We look pretty peaceful.
We generally get along, thanks to our similar interests: lounging about, neck rubs, food. Except for yesterday night, when she decided that she was going to try beating the heat by randomly hissing like an asshole. And I, being cranky and sticky and just having gotten back from work, decided to hiss back.
It was crappy of both of us. But it would have been a lot crappier had I caught a bigger-than-13-lb. animal in a randomly sour mood.
Telegram...
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:19 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
We generally get along, thanks to our similar interests: lounging about, neck rubs, food. Except for yesterday night, when she decided that she was going to try beating the heat by randomly hissing like an asshole. And I, being cranky and sticky and just having gotten back from work, decided to hiss back.
It was crappy of both of us. But it would have been a lot crappier had I caught a bigger-than-13-lb. animal in a randomly sour mood.
Telegram...
posted by evidenceofabsence at 5:19 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]
If you are curious about studying an animal's natural behavior in order to draw conclusions about that animal's intrinsic temperament, then don't introduce completely unnatural circumstances that they would never otherwise encounter, such as scheduled feedings by human beings (I'm also looking at you, Jane Goodall).
posted by mingo_clambake at 5:56 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by mingo_clambake at 5:56 PM on June 9, 2011
I would very strongly recommend this:
Filmmaker Rob Stewart's love for sharks prompts him to undertake a dangerous journey in an effort to save sharks from extinction. The result is Sharkwater.
posted by ovvl at 6:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Filmmaker Rob Stewart's love for sharks prompts him to undertake a dangerous journey in an effort to save sharks from extinction. The result is Sharkwater.
posted by ovvl at 6:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]
Filmmaker Rob Stewart's love for sharks
I read that as ROD Stewart and am now imagining a bespandexed Rod prancing about singing Do Ya Think I'm Sexy to a bunch of confused but intrigued sharks.
send halp
posted by elizardbits at 8:07 PM on June 9, 2011 [8 favorites]
I read that as ROD Stewart and am now imagining a bespandexed Rod prancing about singing Do Ya Think I'm Sexy to a bunch of confused but intrigued sharks.
send halp
posted by elizardbits at 8:07 PM on June 9, 2011 [8 favorites]
That's it, goodbye. I'm not gonna waste my time arguing with a woman who's lining up to be a hot lunch.
posted by ShutterBun at 11:17 PM on June 9, 2011
posted by ShutterBun at 11:17 PM on June 9, 2011
One thing that makes me shake with rage is when you hear about a "shark attack" in Western Australia or something (and it's never actually an "attack", it's more of a "sampling"), and the surfer dude has got part of his leg dangling off but is otherwise okay, relatively speaking...
To be fair, the surfer usually gets interviewed while he's in the hospital, leg dangling off, saying "No, I don't think we should hunt it down and kill it. It's an animal, it's gotta eat, they don't mean anything by it, I was in it's territory, etc..." The ones who want to go out and kill a bunch of sharks are often fishermen who see the ocean as something to be battled or harvested.
posted by harriet vane at 12:24 AM on June 10, 2011
To be fair, the surfer usually gets interviewed while he's in the hospital, leg dangling off, saying "No, I don't think we should hunt it down and kill it. It's an animal, it's gotta eat, they don't mean anything by it, I was in it's territory, etc..." The ones who want to go out and kill a bunch of sharks are often fishermen who see the ocean as something to be battled or harvested.
posted by harriet vane at 12:24 AM on June 10, 2011
you hear about a "shark attack" in Western Australia or something (and it's never actually an "attack", it's more of a "sampling"), and the surfer dude has got part of his leg dangling off but is otherwise okay, relatively speaking, within minutes you get a bunch of cocksuckers on-screen saying "We gotta get out there and kill this shark, it's a menace" and then they go out and kill like twenty sharks and are all "Pretty sure we got it" and, y'know, fuck you.
That reminds me of something Derrick Jensen wrote [quote found here]: "Civilization is based on a clearly defined and widely accepted yet often unarticulated hierarchy. Violence done by those higher on the hierarchy to those lower is nearly always invisible, that is, unnoticed. When it is noticed, it is fully rationalized. Violence done by those lower on the hierarchy to those higher is unthinkable, and when it does occur is regarded with shock, horror, and the fetishization of the victims." More from him is here, where he gives about ten examples to illustrate what he means, from his abusive dad to how they give big state funerals for cops killed in duty (but not garbage collectors who die on the job), to bears and yes sharks ("the ratio of human attacks on sharks to shark attacks on humans is literally 20 million to one").
posted by salvia at 12:59 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]
That reminds me of something Derrick Jensen wrote [quote found here]: "Civilization is based on a clearly defined and widely accepted yet often unarticulated hierarchy. Violence done by those higher on the hierarchy to those lower is nearly always invisible, that is, unnoticed. When it is noticed, it is fully rationalized. Violence done by those lower on the hierarchy to those higher is unthinkable, and when it does occur is regarded with shock, horror, and the fetishization of the victims." More from him is here, where he gives about ten examples to illustrate what he means, from his abusive dad to how they give big state funerals for cops killed in duty (but not garbage collectors who die on the job), to bears and yes sharks ("the ratio of human attacks on sharks to shark attacks on humans is literally 20 million to one").
posted by salvia at 12:59 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]
Rod Stewart is too busy with his train set to serenade sharks.
Which is probably good news for the sharks.
posted by asok at 6:33 AM on June 10, 2011
Which is probably good news for the sharks.
posted by asok at 6:33 AM on June 10, 2011
Evidence that Australians are awesomely crazy.
posted by atheist.zen at 7:23 AM on June 10, 2011
posted by atheist.zen at 7:23 AM on June 10, 2011
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