I really like cats

June 9, 2011 5:10 PM

I like cats (this is not posted in mean spirits)
posted by Philipschall (81 comments total)

Metafilter: I'm sorry I'm thinking about cats again
posted by 2bucksplus at 5:12 PM on June 9, 2011 [10 favorites]

This is performance art at it's finest.

Or something like that.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:15 PM on June 9, 2011 [7 favorites]

She likes cats and you hate Metafilter.
posted by gman at 5:18 PM on June 9, 2011 [12 favorites]

Options:

1. Make fun of post
2. Make fun of cats
3. Make fun of eharmony
4. Make fun of that girl
5. Discuss my love of cats
6. flag and move on
7. Mean spirits

Yeah, there really isn't much choice there at all, is there...?
posted by tomswift at 5:18 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think this post wins Metafilter.
posted by roboton666 at 5:20 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

Well done.
posted by uosuaq at 5:20 PM on June 9, 2011

That was awesome.
posted by nzero at 5:21 PM on June 9, 2011

All that wiping of the eyes and not a hint of actual tears on her face.
posted by amro at 5:22 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

Also, this is why our society won't last much longer.
posted by nzero at 5:23 PM on June 9, 2011

There's nothing mean-spirited that can be said about this. If it's for real I'll eat my shoe.
posted by amro at 5:23 PM on June 9, 2011 [7 favorites]

If it's for real I'll eat my shoe.

Shoe? Your... shoe? ... I... *sniff* ... I ... I just get a little ... emotional... when I think of... shoes. Sorry, I... *sob*... I ...

/turns off video camera
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [9 favorites]

I have no idea how I feel about this! Like is this fake? Because even if you really like cats are you going to just lose your shit about the fact of cats as a dating profile? And assuming you did are you going to upload it? Then there is this other video... where she is pretending to be her own siamese twin in a corny but sort of funny skit. That video is sort of embarrassing too even though that one was clearly deliberately for public consumption. So I don't think it is fake but I do think she knows it is funny. And she probably does really love cats a lot.
posted by I Foody at 5:27 PM on June 9, 2011

It's fake. Too perfect. If it were real it would have some boring ass parts.
posted by keithburgun at 5:27 PM on June 9, 2011

First 30 seconds are funny, second breakdown is meh.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:29 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is why the world needs writers.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:30 PM on June 9, 2011 [5 favorites]

I like big cats / and I cannot lie / you other brothers / etc.
posted by digitalprimate at 5:30 PM on June 9, 2011 [8 favorites]

Like if I had a Metafilter post writer I wouldn't always be hitting Post before I'm done thinking of things.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:30 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

Oh I totally just change my mind. I think this is fake. I feel like such a sucker. Still a pretty good crazy woman impression I guess.
posted by I Foody at 5:31 PM on June 9, 2011

i like turtles
posted by nathancaswell at 5:32 PM on June 9, 2011 [8 favorites]

I like beer.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:34 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]

I would probably say something mean or cynical here except that I, a grown man, am too busy watching something on Animal Planet called "Too Cute! Kittens".
posted by nicwolff at 5:36 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

I think it's fake because I love cats at least that much and to be honest she comes off as way more together than I am when I talk about little kitties
posted by Greg Nog at 5:36 PM on June 9, 2011 [33 favorites]

The thing about cats on rainbows makes it seem like a fake.

If it's not, this girl needs therapy.
posted by meandthebean at 5:38 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fake! Someone points out there is a snicker at 2:19 of the video - and kind of breaks the spell completely.

Ha! This makes this girl super mean! She is making fun of cats, and lonely girls, and lonely girls who like cats. She is a bad lady.
posted by helmutdog at 5:40 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

It's obviously fake. It's a viral video (omg tee-hee) by Cara Hartmann, a prime example of striving for minor internet celebrity turns some people into dicks.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:42 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I saw this, and was full on convinced it was a parody when I got to the "bowties" bit.
posted by sweetkid at 5:42 PM on June 9, 2011

forgot the word "how", and how!
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 5:42 PM on June 9, 2011

Please! ... Just leave cats alone! sniff
posted by Poet_Lariat at 5:42 PM on June 9, 2011

fake but minor comedian fake, not viral corporate ad fake (blogger Andrew Sullivan assumed this)
posted by Bwithh at 5:46 PM on June 9, 2011

Real, fake, whatever.

It's now my favorite cat video.
posted by fredludd at 5:48 PM on June 9, 2011

Here's my favourite dog video.
posted by gman at 5:50 PM on June 9, 2011 [11 favorites]

Bwithh: fake but minor comedian fake, not viral corporate ad fake (blogger Andrew Sullivan assumed this)

What? This is totally an attempt by the flagging Cat Fanciers corporation at drumming up interest in cats. You can hug them! And there are so many, so you cannot hug them all, but you can try.
posted by filthy light thief at 5:50 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

My favorite dog video of the last 20 minutes, because I'm sure there are better.
posted by filthy light thief at 5:51 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

According to her YouTube account her name's Cara Hartmann, not Debbie. Her only other video suggests she's a bit of a ham, which also supports the "fake" theory.
posted by scalefree at 5:52 PM on June 9, 2011

This is completely fake, and I know because I helped produce it. Why am I telling you this and breaking the NDA? Because they paid me with "free Jr. Frostee" coupons, which was fine, but after a week of Jr. Frostees I'm starting to get sick of them, and I really could have used real money to pay my rent and stuff.

Anyway, fake, yes. But how? Why? Recently I've been working with an ad firm to make videos that "go viral" and, typically, most users can suss out when a video is fake or genuine. I've spent the last 5 months crawling around on my hands and knees with different models of the Flip Video to produce so-crappy-it-must-be-real footage (this partcular model we smeared with Nutella to give it the "tumbled around in the purse" feel)

What's this a viral ad for? At first blush it's for eHarmony, because of the title. Well, there you'd be wrong. It's all a part of a ruse, adding the brand name in there makes it look more realistic, ya feel me brother? Go to 2:19 and run it through some audio editing software. Play it backwards and...yep...Depends ultra adult undergarmets. Tricky eh? Now suddenly you're thinking about that.

The girl? Struggling acting student. You know how hard it is to act convincingly, yet bad enough to be considered genuine? I spent 5 hours in that apartment, she had the worst "strawberry bananna" scented candles. and in between takes she kept feeding me stale pita chips.

Point is, don't believe everything that you watch.
posted by hellojed at 5:58 PM on June 9, 2011 [17 favorites]

Yeah, this is clearly fake, but I really knew a girl who got this way about Pound Puppies.
posted by katillathehun at 6:00 PM on June 9, 2011

I like The Wizard of Oz.
posted by gcbv at 6:05 PM on June 9, 2011

You know, there's a motherlode of comedy material to be found in society's infantilisation of women. This isn't it.
posted by likeso at 6:06 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

My aunt loved cats. She had about 50 of them, and had my uncle build a giant, well… I guess it was a cage, attached to the side of the house like a garage. Except it was a cage, the size of one of those enclosures they have at zoos, and it had all kinds of perches for them to climb on. The stench of cat piss in their home was unbelievable.

That is what someone who claims to love cats looks like. This chick is a poseur trying to ride the cat wave to fame and fortune. Well I'm not buying it for one fucking minute, missy. You love cats? Then how come your hair looks combed? Because people who love cats… who really love cats, they don't have time to comb their hair. They're too busy loving their cats. This girl is a charlatan. I want my money back.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:07 PM on June 9, 2011 [6 favorites]

It was obviously fake, no cats randomly appeared to get in the way at any point in the video.
posted by Zophi at 6:08 PM on June 9, 2011 [12 favorites]

Hey, did you guys figure out it's a fake yet? You did? Well...I'll just let myself out then.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 6:17 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Options:

You missed one option: MBA STUDENTS!

Let 'er rip, guys!
posted by loquacious at 6:19 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

I like monkeys.
posted by ancillary at 6:22 PM on June 9, 2011

My aunt loved cats. She had about 50 of them, and had my uncle build a giant, well…

"Cathouse" is the word you're looking for.
posted by five fresh fish at 6:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wait. Cats are on EHarmony? Did any respond to her?
posted by Ron Thanagar at 6:26 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Hey, it's Renee Zellweger! Man, she's really let herself go. I mean, Villanova?
posted by oxford blue at 6:29 PM on June 9, 2011

Ron Thanagar: "Wait. Cats are on EHarmony? Did any respond to her?"

They thought the video was just purrfect.
posted by oxford blue at 6:30 PM on June 9, 2011 [4 favorites]

Her voice. It's fake, right? Like, she intentionally raises it up to some baby-voice octave and makes it all nasally. Right?

Ugh, that voice.
posted by jabberjaw at 6:39 PM on June 9, 2011

One of her other videos, "Me singing firework," was removed based on Youtube's policy against hatespeech. I really, really want to know what that video was.
posted by cmoj at 6:44 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Apparently Debbie is also Kara/Cara, the Siamese twins.
posted by Brian B. at 6:47 PM on June 9, 2011

Here's my favourite dog video.

Two observations:

1. I would have put a bowling ball in amongst the balloons, because I am a terrible person.

2. A tub in the bedroom! Sweet!

2.5 Actually that tub was probably put in because that room was where someone frail and elderly lived, and they are not there anymore and thus they didn't get to see how happy that dog was chasing those balloons and now I am sad.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 6:47 PM on June 9, 2011 [2 favorites]

One of her other videos, "Me singing firework," was removed based on Youtube's policy against hatespeech. I really, really want to know what that video was.

I know!
posted by sweetkid at 6:48 PM on June 9, 2011

Eh, I think it's funny, but that it goes on for about 30 seconds too long.
posted by codacorolla at 6:48 PM on June 9, 2011

Coming up... Revlon uses social media to introduce a powerful new line of moisture resistant mascara.

Either that or the date and location of the casting call for "Tammy Faye Bakker: My Story".
posted by Mike D at 6:59 PM on June 9, 2011

You know, there's a motherlode of comedy material to be found in society's infantilisation of women. This isn't it.

Can't a goofy video ever just be a goofy video? It's fine if you don't get the humor here, but saying it's somehow misogynistic is...reaching a bit.
posted by ixohoxi at 7:03 PM on June 9, 2011

Where the hell are the singing cats?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:07 PM on June 9, 2011

I love pussy.
I love every kind of pussy.
I get so emotional when I think about pussy.
*snif*
Excuse me, I'm just having a moment here while I think about pussy.
I'm posting on eharmony because I need to gets me some more pussy.
I don't got no cats though.
Just a dog with his one eyed snake.
Who loves pussy.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:19 PM on June 9, 2011 [3 favorites]

Villanova Blue.
posted by b1tr0t at 7:20 PM on June 9, 2011

I am 100% serious when I say I wish I had a video camera so I could record my cat watching that. Because my cat totally watched that, and was totally fascinated by it all three times I played it (and I only played it three times because she was enjoying it so much), and it was awesome. If I did have a video camera, I would actually record that event, and I would actually post it here.

This proves two things: 1) I am a crazy cat lady who loves cats too much, and I am the kind of person being made fun of here. 2) We have found this woman's soul mate. Problem is, I'm not sure if it's me, or my cat.
posted by mudpuppie at 7:25 PM on June 9, 2011 [7 favorites]

MBA huh? Is she looking for code monkeys for a startup ? Cuz count me in.
posted by Ad hominem at 7:47 PM on June 9, 2011

I saw this as mocking eHarmony as much as anything else.
posted by maryr at 7:59 PM on June 9, 2011

One of her other videos, "Me singing firework," was removed based on Youtube's policy against hatespeech. I really, really want to know what that video was.

It's pretty bad. It's her sitting motionless with her hand curled up near her face, while the Stephen Hawking synthesized voice speaks the lyrics of Firework. The image is crudely warped to make it look like she has a misshapen head.
posted by gubo at 8:17 PM on June 9, 2011

Actually that tub was probably put in because that room was where someone frail and elderly lived

it looks like a typical euro hotel room to me, idk
posted by elizardbits at 8:57 PM on June 9, 2011

it looks like a typical euro hotel room to me, idk

Oh. Good. Now I am happier. :)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:49 PM on June 9, 2011

Fake. She doesn't quite talk like a real person, more like someone who took two Groundlings classes; also the lighting is just a bit too good. (going to click link now)
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:54 PM on June 9, 2011

"It's still real to me, dammit!"
posted by stifford at 10:48 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

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posted by joelf at 11:12 PM on June 9, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fuck cats. I bought her two great new toys today, and when I get back from celebrating a work success at the bars, she runs out and I spend an hour chasing her, whistling at her, and meowing at her before she deigns to come home.

She's confined to her carrier for the next week.
posted by orthogonality at 12:10 AM on June 10, 2011

I like cows
posted by salvia at 12:33 AM on June 10, 2011

My favorite dog video of the last 20 minutes, because I'm sure there are better.

That took me a minute because I was like, "there's no dog in that video...is that his daughter or midget?...cute dress...nice tail. WAIT A MINNIT!"
posted by bendy at 1:00 AM on June 10, 2011

Can't a goofy video ever just be a goofy video? It's fine if you don't get the humor here, but saying it's somehow misogynistic is...reaching a bit.

Huh. It was my gut reaction to her baby voice stating that she had an MBA and then losing her shit. I did heh at "Sorry, I'm thinking about cats again", for a second.

And then you check her other video and see her making fun of Siamese twins. And now gubo reports that her video of 'Me singing firework' has her making fun of ALS.

Goofy video. Yeah.
posted by likeso at 1:41 AM on June 10, 2011

Dog w/balloons: I want a remake, with some of the balloons filled partially with helium, so they fall slower. I'd enjoy watching that dog piss himself with excitement as balloons float SO sloooowwwwllllyyy back to his reach.
posted by Goofyy at 2:59 AM on June 10, 2011

I get like that about beer.
posted by Decani at 3:55 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

The first thing I thought of was this.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:52 AM on June 10, 2011

Wait, is there anyone who thought this was really from eHarmony? I mean, c'mon, there was a link on the YT page to another humor video this same woman posted (a clip with a mirror effect where she pretends to be Siamese twins; also partly-funny and partly-lame in about the same proportions as the I Love Cats video).
posted by aught at 7:33 AM on June 10, 2011

Yep, going with fake. Anyone who made a dating video like that should have deleted it immediately.

I have to say though, the bit about having a "house full of them" was pretty funny - this is crazy cat lady as a young woman.
posted by Xoebe at 7:46 AM on June 10, 2011

(this is not posted in mean spirits)

Well, then, you just go off and practice and come back when you can get it right, mister.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:46 AM on June 10, 2011

This is how I feel about Apple products.
posted by LordSludge at 8:07 AM on June 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

I just called the SPCA - they are on their way.
posted by JJ86 at 9:57 AM on June 10, 2011

I think we are most of us full in the thrall of toxoplasma at this point. ISN'T THAT RIGHT CRABTREE YOU ARE THE BEST POOP COACH YES YOU ARE
posted by everichon at 10:32 AM on June 10, 2011

Hell, I feel that way about pasta! Seriously, though, she makes a lovely co-joined twin, no?
posted by MILNEWSca at 1:32 PM on June 10, 2011