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June 15, 2011 6:34 PM   Subscribe

An unproduced script for the Catwoman film written by Batman Returns scripter Daniel Waters would have sent Catwoman to supervillian support group outside of Gotham City. Want a more modern take on the character? She'll be playable in Arkham City.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn (24 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
HELL_ _HERE

She looks amazing. (For years, Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns and Winona Ryder in Edward Scissorhands were the only two things heterosexuality seemed to have going for it.)
posted by hermitosis at 7:06 PM on June 15, 2011 [2 favorites]


The Arkham City trailer strikes me as a bit creepy, but considering what they did to Harley Quinn in the first game and considering its a videogame with Catwoman in it its to be expected.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:11 PM on June 15, 2011


I judge any and all portrayals of Catwoman by whether or not the creators involved show Selina Kyle, master thief, acrobat and martial artist of skill enough to challenge Batman himself remembers to zip her suit up all the way. Better luck with the sequel, Rocksteady.

As for the script:

AN ARMY OF MEN IN ZEBRA-STRIPED SHIRTS AND BLACK BERETS hustle
out from the gaping smoking hole in the face of a bank. They race
to a line of getaway golf carts. Their EYE-PATCHED LEADER shouts
up at the melodic chiming.

EYE-PATCHED LEADER
Hurry men, those silly superheroes
are coming...


Ha geez.
posted by EatTheWeak at 7:12 PM on June 15, 2011 [3 favorites]



I judge any and all portrayals of Catwoman by whether or not the creators involved show Selina Kyle, master thief, acrobat and martial artist of skill enough to challenge Batman himself remembers to zip her suit up all the way.


Could be worse. All the early previews focused on a storyline about her being held captive and implied that would be the plot for the entire game. That seemed wrong.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 7:19 PM on June 15, 2011


Fair enough. It's just frustrating, cuz when Catwoman is drawn and written right, her stories are fanfuckingtastic. But far more often she is drawn and written lazily by creators who hypersexualize her in some pretty disgusting ways. The whole femme fatale thing is about the least interesting take on Catwoman and also the most common, which is a real shame.

I'm pretty stoked about Anne Hathaway playing her in The Dark Knight Rises, though. I've got a lot of faith that she and Chris Nolan will get her right. Even if their script isn't as amazing as the one you linked:

MEXICAN HAG
Hola.

Everyone erects themselves from searching positions. Cactus spins
from the tarp. Selina pokes her eyes out. Ever grinning, the
Mexican Hag plainly reveals herself to the astonished masters of
the universe.

CACTUS
Oh, Senorita, this may not be the
biggest mistake of your life, but it
is your last.

MEXICAN HAG
Hola.

posted by EatTheWeak at 7:27 PM on June 15, 2011


Anne Hathaway? Cat Woman? Oh please no!
posted by stratastar at 8:17 PM on June 15, 2011 [1 favorite]


I wonder if Batman kisses any of the low level thugs in that stupid fucking game.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 8:29 PM on June 15, 2011


I liked the song in the last link of the FPP. Apparently it's "Get Some" by Lykke Li, I hadn't come across her before.
posted by chmmr at 8:48 PM on June 15, 2011


That game trailer sucked. Could they aim any lower?

/Newmar forever
posted by Trochanter at 10:05 PM on June 15, 2011


Those boobs need better support. Where were the devs during Metafilter Better Boob Support Week a while back?

Not to mention the high heels. Why o why do contemporary devs always make their girls fight in heels? The women of Streetfighter and Mortal Combat kicked arse and made stacks of money in flats. Jeesh.
posted by Jilder at 11:02 PM on June 15, 2011


chmmr: Hah, I just looked up the lyrics to that song, thinking it sounded kind of neat:

Dont pull your pants before i go down
Dont turn away this is my time
Dont make demands I dont take none
Just say a prayer that it gone get done
Dont pull your pants before i go down
Dont turn away this is my time
Like the shotgun need an outcome
I'm your prostitute, you gon get some
Like the shotgun need an outcome
I'm your prostitute, you gon get some

Go head go away low, but here i can do no harm
Go ahead go away low in my honey lovin arms
Go ahead go away low, where i can do no wrong
Got you around my finger like a lonely lovers charm
like a lonely lovers charm

And cause i can I'm gon' got west
Just like a man Im the fortress
Like the shotgun I cant be outdone
I'm your prostitute, you gon' get some
Like the shotgun needs an outcome
I'm your prostitue, you gone get some


Well.
posted by Jilder at 11:06 PM on June 15, 2011


Here's what the Mindless Ones had to say about Catwoman.
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:40 AM on June 16, 2011 [2 favorites]


Holy Man-Bat Batman that trailer was....

did she just Sex-Fight them?

I just ..argh.

Catwoman should not be this hard to write. She can be a lot of things, master Thief, Batman's peer/foil/sometimes ally, the only Chaotic Neutral in the rouge's gallery, you can have her as a bored society lady or a rough street kid, she's can fit into many roles that other Batman characters can't.

What she doesn't do is moan organismicly while fighting.

Actually come to think of it did B:TAS do Catwoman well? Or even at all? She had some of the weakest episodes and never really went anywhere.....
posted by The Whelk at 7:21 AM on June 16, 2011 [1 favorite]


That Mindless Ones article is petty damn good

Catwoman should be the Harry Houdini of crime. No one knows how she gets in and out, and if we do ever get a glimpse of it, we’re only left with more questions than we had before. Like one of those annoying Derren Brown tricks where he sets about explaining the bastard, but only so he can reaaally confound the fuck out of you when he sics the prestige on yer ass. In this regard Selina Kyle is a great batvillain. She meets Brucie baby on his own territory and sometimes, in fact quite often, beats him at his own game. The Penguin and co. don’t hang out on the rooftops and free-climb superscrapers, but Catwoman does. She’s in many respects Batman’s female equivalent. Well, if it wasn’t for a few things.

She’s a burglar, she’s a woman and she’s poor.


Since Batman's best villains tend to be his own qualities expanded and distorted, Catwoman as Batman but without a moral compass works.
posted by The Whelk at 7:25 AM on June 16, 2011


So, now Catwoman is Bayonetta?
posted by Memo at 7:27 AM on June 16, 2011


...and making Catwoman a kind of class-warrior is an excellent idea.
posted by The Whelk at 7:27 AM on June 16, 2011


Catwoman as Batman but without a moral compass works.

Catwoman as Batman without the bajillion dollars, and penis, perhaps?
posted by Theta States at 7:54 AM on June 16, 2011


I'd say that Catwoman does have a moral compass, if a slightly skewed one - like, she might not have much respect for property rights, but you never hear about her knocking over an orphanage or a charity or whatever - her marks tend to be the very wealthy and quite often the very corrupt. Also, while she's perfectly willing to rough up guards, police, Batman, etc in the course of a heist, you never hear about her killing anyone - [SPOILER] I think the time she shot Black Mask was her only real attempted murder, but I could be wrong [/SPOILER] So yeah, I think she's got a code, but it's one of her own devising and she could give a shit whether or not anyone approves.
posted by EatTheWeak at 10:34 AM on June 16, 2011


I think the girl with the dragon tattoo is the catwoman.
posted by Trochanter at 11:30 AM on June 16, 2011


Thanks for the Youtube link where we get to watch an ad for something else before we see the ad for a game. Do you have any that have three ads in them?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:05 PM on June 16, 2011


when Catwoman is drawn and written right, her stories are fanfuckingtastic

I thought that was a decent crime story, but it didn't seem to me to have much to do with Catwoman. It was as if an existing script for another character had had its names crossed out and replaced.
posted by Zed at 2:12 PM on June 16, 2011


Maybe it's better to call Selina's Big Score a Selina Kyle story rather than a Catwoman one. In any case, the majority of her last solo series was pretty great, though the pinup girl shit did creep back in towards the end. (Even so, I loved that she [SPOILER]stole the Batmobile[/SPOILER] in the final issue)
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:09 PM on June 16, 2011


So, now Catwoman is Bayonetta?

In Arkham Asylum (and by extension Arkham City) all those cool moves are automatic. You press Attack and the game does a different animation each time. In Bayonetta it's all up to the player. I'm still going to get this if it's half as good as Bayonetta I'll be happy.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:29 PM on June 16, 2011


er, BUT if it's as half as good as Bayonetta.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 3:31 PM on June 16, 2011


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