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She Goes Right for the Head Every Time
June 20, 2011 6:06 PM   Subscribe

Trent the Baby vs. Angie the Lioness: SLYT, 1.25.

Watch for the stills at the end.
posted by bwg (44 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
I find it's best to not taunt lions with tasty children. Just a rule I live by.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:08 PM on June 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


cjorgensen: "I find it's best to not taunt lions with tasty children. Just a rule I live by."

Indeed; save the tasty children for yourself I always say.
posted by bwg at 6:10 PM on June 20, 2011 [3 favorites]


I remember going to the zoo and having a feline try the same thing on me. It literally pounced straight at me except the cage was not glass but wire fence. It made quite a powerful clinging sound so much as a matter of fact i still remember it precisely in my head!
posted by Meatafoecure at 6:18 PM on June 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


i can see it and i can smell it why oh why can i not taste it
posted by not_on_display at 6:19 PM on June 20, 2011 [16 favorites]


The younger the child
the better the meat.
The fewer the years
the better to eat.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:22 PM on June 20, 2011


They must keep those lions hungry...
posted by Chuckles at 6:29 PM on June 20, 2011


cjorgensen:

"I like children. If they're properly cooked."

~ W.C. Fields
posted by bwg at 6:36 PM on June 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm in the middle of watching Dead Set and I am pretty sure that lion is a zombie.
posted by datter at 6:36 PM on June 20, 2011


If that was Michael Jackson and his kids, everyone would be all pissed off
posted by Redhush at 6:38 PM on June 20, 2011 [6 favorites]


When I was working at the zoo it was sorta sad to see to see the big cats (and hyenas) reaction when the group of kids from the special school went by... the predators would pick up on a limp or a difference with uncanny skill, given that they'd never had to hunt a day in their lives... toddlers, too, of course...
posted by The otter lady at 6:42 PM on June 20, 2011 [8 favorites]


I once bottle-fed and infant by the glass at the Seattle Zoo's Orangutan area. They were so interested, they sat next to us to watch.
posted by zippy at 7:01 PM on June 20, 2011 [5 favorites]


Parents need to teach that kid some survival skills, pronto.
posted by yellowbinder at 7:12 PM on June 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


I'm very amused by the related video suggestions. Cat tries to eat baby, cat tries to eat baby, cat tries to eat kid, Freddie Mercury at Live Aid, cat tries to eat baby, cat tries to eat kid.




What's Freddie doing in there?
posted by anastasiav at 7:28 PM on June 20, 2011 [7 favorites]


he did love cats . . .
posted by miss patrish at 7:50 PM on June 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


I know there is glass there, but I keep wanting to snatch the baby away.. Because THERE IS A LION THERE TRYING TO EAT THAT BABY. I can't help but hope that my uncontrollable aversion to letting babies play near hungry lions, encased in glass or otherwise, means I'd be a superior parent if, you know, I were a hunter-gatherer living on a savannah with lions.
posted by BlueJae at 7:51 PM on June 20, 2011 [6 favorites]


Back in the bad old days, when we had to line up in our cars to enter Jasper national park, the animals used to come down to the lines of cars to get free handouts from the park-goers. We'd feed granola to the mountain goats and squirrels from the car windows. It would take about twenty minutes to get through the line on a weekend morning. Us six-year-olds thought it was great, like going to a petting zoo, only better.

One of the things that stopped it was that as well as mountain goats and magpies, free food also attracted bears. There was one VW bug with four teenagers inside who were taunting a bear with watermelon slices. They'd roll down the window, wave the melon at the bear, then roll up the windows as the bear came around the car. Then the kids on the other side of the car would roll down their windows, and repeat.

Eventually the bear got tired of this, stood up on it's hind legs and rolled the car off the highway and into the ditch. I think the noise must have scared it, as I don't remember it being around in the aftermath. But even a six-year-old could understand how that bear felt.
posted by bonehead at 7:58 PM on June 20, 2011 [22 favorites]


Some parents have much greater faith in the unbreakability of glass than others, apparently.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:18 PM on June 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


I was stalked by a mountain lion as a kid. My sister and I were headed to school. Anyway, my sister tilapia mom, waho came with us the next day. On seeing the mountain lion, she put one one Hell of a primate threat display... Yelling, rock throwing, jumping up and down ... Never saw the big kitty again, but this way she was scared, not shot to death.
I think she did not attack us because we were starring at her.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 8:26 PM on June 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


I don't think the lioness wanted to eat the baby, she just wanted to put it in her mouth! I frequently have that sensation of wanting to hug or squeeze too tightly those things that I find beyond adorable. Babies are the cutest little nom noms.
posted by msali at 8:28 PM on June 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


I am amazed that people managed to make it out of the savannah sometimes.

OH MY GOD, UGG, THAT WION IS SO CUTESY WOOTSY LETS PET IT
posted by empath at 8:29 PM on June 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


my sister tilapia mom

what
posted by eugenen at 8:34 PM on June 20, 2011 [7 favorites]


Don't you have a sister tilapia mom named waho?
I'm chalking that up to autocorrect
posted by yellowbinder at 8:35 PM on June 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


My cats often make the same motion as the lioness, the pawing at the glass, when they want to be let inside.

Now that I've seen this video, I know one day I'll hear someone scratching the glass, and I'll open the door without thinking or looking, and then there will be some story on the blue: "man in Utah eaten by lioness" and people here will make fun of me for simply opening the door and letting the lion in.

New nightmare fuel but it's good to have a variety of that.
posted by honestcoyote at 8:45 PM on June 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


Well, that freaked me the fuck out. You can tell the parents are laughing nervously, too, like haha, the lion can't get my precious baby, haha, yeah I'm cool with it, what's she doing, oh God, haha it's ok, let's put this on YouTube.

My kid has a fear of large dogs that I am somewhat reluctant to train him out of, at least at age 5. Truly big dogs are still big enough for the next few years to eat him; I don't really want him running up to pet strange large fascinating animals until he has more ability to gauge risk. I have gotten grief on this from people who think I'm making him fearful, but, you know, fear has some survival value.

I will never forget the day I took him as a baby over to visit some of my husband's relatives who had a motherfucking pet wolf, full grown. No one told me there was going to be a wolf there before I showed up with my month-old baby.

It was docile, but I insisted they put it outside, because my kid was basically snack-sized and being carried right at its mouth level. What the fuck is wrong with people.
posted by emjaybee at 9:00 PM on June 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


Anyway, my sister tilapia mom, waho came with us the next day.

Okay, no amount of missing punctuation can make this into a valid sentence, right?
posted by doctor_negative at 9:31 PM on June 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


I...sort of felt bad for the lion.
posted by i_am_a_fiesta at 9:42 PM on June 20, 2011 [4 favorites]


The lion's being fucked with by the zoo to entertain monkeys.
posted by stbalbach at 9:51 PM on June 20, 2011 [6 favorites]


I want the lioness to go to their house and put a pizza behind glass and then laugh at that family while the family bats at the plexi and tries to eat through their cage.
posted by incessant at 9:59 PM on June 20, 2011 [6 favorites]


What's truly sad is the other lion, the one in the background-- broken, defeated, it doesn't even bother looking at the snackbaby.
posted by darth_tedious at 10:37 PM on June 20, 2011 [2 favorites]


Anyway, my sister tilapia mom, waho came with us the next day.

Anyway, my sister told mom, who came with us the next day.

(That's my guess, anyway)
posted by dirigibleman at 11:33 PM on June 20, 2011 [1 favorite]


What's truly sad is the other lion, the one in the background-- broken, defeated, it doesn't even bother looking at the snackbaby.

The other lion is checking the progress on the tunnel that another, unseen lion is busy digging while the humans are distracted by their partner, the decoy.
posted by katillathehun at 12:15 AM on June 21, 2011 [8 favorites]


Redhush: "If that was Michael Jackson and his kids, everyone would be all pissed off"

So, so true; how dare those kids bring Michael's corpse to the zoo.
posted by bwg at 12:30 AM on June 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


"Tilapia mom".
More here.
Obviously, having too small a mouth, she settled for just being protective.
posted by hat_eater at 12:33 AM on June 21, 2011


And I blame the quotation marks on my morning coffee. Something is wrong with it. Must... find... antidote...
posted by hat_eater at 1:00 AM on June 21, 2011


It is only amusing because there is a great wall of glass there.
posted by sandraregina at 5:05 AM on June 21, 2011


sandraregina: It is only amusing because there is a great wall of glass there

... to you.
posted by IAmBroom at 5:16 AM on June 21, 2011


I watched this with bemused horror humor...or something; a funny feeling in my stomach as though my reptile brain kept checking in with my rational brain, "You're OK with this, right? This is OK? Small helpless infant in pseudo-danger is amusing and not DANGER DANGER DANGER?"
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:19 AM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


My first reaction was to reach for the spray bottle. Damn cats.
posted by orme at 7:16 AM on June 21, 2011 [3 favorites]


Some parents have much greater faith in the unbreakability of glass than others, apparently.

That looks to me like inches-thick plexiglas.

I was a bit more nervous when a family friend took us behind the scenes at Zoo Montana to see their Siberian Tiger. There were three of us standing together, looking at the tiger through a chain-link fence as it lay on the ground. At one point, two of us walked away, and the tiger immediately leaped from its prone position to pressing its nose up against the fence at the lone member of our party.

Definitely a spooky feeling that gets you in the caveman part of your brain.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:19 AM on June 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


I remember going to the zoo and having a feline try the same thing on me.

Me too, only I was maybe 5 or so, and we were getting a night-time zoo tour. So it was feeding time and the mountain lion was all the way at the back of her enclosure and then she fixed her gaze on my friend and me and BOUND BOUND BOUND to the front and THUMP against the glass. Then she looked disappointed. The tour guide was like "Yeah, um ... it's dinner time, and ... they're the right size?"
posted by little cow make small moo at 8:31 AM on June 21, 2011


All new baby-food. Now in glass jar.
posted by ArkhanJG at 8:35 AM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: my sister tilapia mom, waho.
posted by odinsdream at 9:29 AM on June 21, 2011 [7 favorites]


How is babby eaten? How lioness get fed?
posted by dhens at 10:40 AM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


I've always maintained that if they were big enough your house cats would eat you. This is proof.
posted by carsonb at 7:23 PM on June 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


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