I hope they don't cook bacon

June 26, 2011 11:34 AM

Cooking With Beefcake was a VHS cooking show about cooking near naked men. (Warning: Contains butts, feathered hair) (via)
posted by The Whelk (38 comments total)

wow I have the worst timing ever.
posted by The Whelk at 11:37 AM on June 26, 2011

Warning: Contains butts


On the kitchen counter.



That can't be sanitary.





Also contains at least one sequined sweater and white wine drunkenness.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:38 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

So, the men help with the cooking then? They aren't actually on the menu?
posted by Solomon at 11:40 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Actually cooking near naked men would have definitely kicked it up a notch.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 11:42 AM on June 26, 2011

Not unless you want to help toss the salad.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:42 AM on June 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

Lose smutty Ms. Eighties Double-Entendre and let the dudes do the cooking without her. The video would be much improved without the chick in the middle, imho.

(Similar to the way I feel about most Lady Gaga videos, for that matter.)
posted by darkstar at 11:44 AM on June 26, 2011

Normally, the thought of being savaged by a group of men on a kitchen counter would send me off to a magical place.

Thanks Whelkykins for ruining that fantasy. Alternatively, thank you for ensuring I will never get butt hair into my food again.
posted by munchingzombie at 11:45 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

I swear to heavens that that lady is who I want to be when I grow up.
posted by winna at 11:46 AM on June 26, 2011 [6 favorites]

What an interesting combination of hilarious and creepy.
posted by brundlefly at 11:48 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

I swear to heavens that that lady is who I want to be when I grow up.

I am a dude and straight and likewise.
posted by griphus at 11:49 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

I swear to heavens that that lady is who I want to be when I grow up.

That would be Jaye P. Morgan, who apparently had a singing career in the 50s.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 11:52 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

So, it's basically the how-to guide for the first character in The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover?

*watches clip*

Oh, there's no actual cooking of the men, who are indeed near naked.

Protip: never fry bacon naked.
posted by hippybear at 11:54 AM on June 26, 2011 [2 favorites]

She was also a judge on the gong show
posted by The Whelk at 11:55 AM on June 26, 2011

Oops. I missed the FPP title. Now I feel like a fool.
posted by hippybear at 11:55 AM on June 26, 2011

Ah! Thought she looked familiar.

On the Muppets Show.

On Match Game 7x
posted by maudlin at 11:56 AM on June 26, 2011

Related.
posted by Phatty Lumpkin at 11:56 AM on June 26, 2011

Did anyone else get a Lucille Austero from Arrested Development vibe from her?
posted by munchingzombie at 11:58 AM on June 26, 2011 [5 favorites]

See, the muppets are connected to everything good.
posted by The Whelk at 11:58 AM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Also, I enjoyed this completely er, straight, cause I have a favorite barrtender who is an ex-showgirl who has the exact same campy music hall manner and is a delight.
posted by The Whelk at 12:05 PM on June 26, 2011

Protip: never fry bacon naked.

It's possibly to sharpen knives naked with nothing untoward happening, but you will probably be really nervous throughout.
posted by kenko at 12:05 PM on June 26, 2011

Well. It's. Yup. Hmmm...
posted by Splunge at 12:06 PM on June 26, 2011

maudlin: "On the Muppets Show."

Wait... did she just acknowledge that she's a on a "puppet show"? I thought that was a no-no.
posted by brundlefly at 12:07 PM on June 26, 2011

Alas for the demise of Party Down. I can see Jane Lynch's character doing a send-up of this that'd probably be better than the original.
posted by smirkette at 12:07 PM on June 26, 2011

Actually cooking near naked men would have definitely kicked it up a notch.

I was wondering why they'd be near naked, until I realized there'd be dressing involved.

FPP is a disappointment.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:34 PM on June 26, 2011

Amanda can't tell whether the lady's enjoying it.

I think she doesn't know enough pervy ladies.
posted by klangklangston at 12:38 PM on June 26, 2011

Cooking with naked men sounds like a really bad idea. "Today we'll be frying up some OW OH GOD JESUS SHIT MY WANG!"
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 12:52 PM on June 26, 2011

OH GOD JESUS SHIT MY WANG is a delicacy in many countries.
posted by The Whelk at 12:53 PM on June 26, 2011 [5 favorites]

OH GOD JESUS SHIT MY WANG is a delicacy in many countries.

Whelk penis.
posted by hippybear at 12:58 PM on June 26, 2011 [5 favorites]

Aunt Peg would have been the perfect person to have done a no-cutting-away-at-strategic-moments porn version of this.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:33 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

Who says the Reagan era was repressive and puritanical?
posted by crunchland at 2:33 PM on June 26, 2011

Everybody, everybody!
posted by Splunge at 3:31 PM on June 26, 2011

they have their naked butts on the counter and feathered mullet hair; but her taking the dirty old woman thing to a whole'nother is just wow :D
posted by liza at 3:41 PM on June 26, 2011

JESUS SHIT MY WANG

If I ever need a band name, I know exactly where to come.
posted by Forktine at 4:08 PM on June 26, 2011 [4 favorites]

I keep waiting for her to say "I'd buy that for a dollar!"
posted by bwg at 4:56 PM on June 26, 2011 [1 favorite]

So, this is a cheesy 80s VHS beefcake show. If the genders were reversed, most of the posts so far would have been diffident, at least, about the rampant sexism and objectivism of women, but of course, when roles are reversed, claims of prejudice are always greatly reduced.

Meh.
posted by IAmBroom at 2:12 PM on June 27, 2011

I was so hoping someone would use the ol' "if the genders were reversed" canard. Because it's hilarious when people make a sex argument that requires both genders to have total equality already to be true. Wait, did I say hilarious? Annoying, that's what I meant.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 2:16 PM on June 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was so hoping someone would use the ol' "I was so hoping someone would use the ol' "if the genders were reversed" canard" canard.

It allows you to simultaneously avoid admitting to the vulgarity and reciprocal sexism of this show, and yet appear morally superior to anyone who finds role reversal annoying.
posted by IAmBroom at 5:35 PM on June 27, 2011

I was so hoping someone would use the ol' "canard canard" canard.

Shit, did I just create an infinite loop?
posted by bwg at 7:51 AM on June 28, 2011 [1 favorite]