Stiff Sock

July 2, 2011 5:13 AM

The Amarillo Sox are an American Association (independent) baseball team in the panhandle of Texas. They recently commissioned a new mascot costume. The results were unsatisfactory.
posted by hippybear (52 comments total)

Panhandle, indeed.
posted by jonmc at 5:14 AM on July 2, 2011 [5 favorites]

It's hard to believe that people prefer limp mascots to the awesomeness that was the Yellow Sock.
posted by drezdn at 5:17 AM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

I live in Amarillo, and I found it moderately amusing.

But then, I don't like baseball so my entertainment from the sport comes entirely from stuff like this.
posted by sotonohito at 5:25 AM on July 2, 2011

LOL Amarillo Cox.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:28 AM on July 2, 2011

But then, I don't like baseball so my entertainment from the sport comes entirely from stuff like this.

I was at a Brooklyn Cyclones game, and their mascot, ostensibly a seagull, was running around entertaing the crowd. This little girl saw him and clapped her hands with joy, yelling "Ooh, a chicken!"
posted by jonmc at 5:33 AM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

i'll bet the Red Hot Chilli Peppers are big fans -- athletic supporters, so to speak.
posted by Herodios at 5:34 AM on July 2, 2011 [14 favorites]

.
posted by Stoatfarm at 5:38 AM on July 2, 2011 [3 favorites]

This had to be a deliberate attempt to get some PR... It can't be that they just figured it out at the first game.
posted by crapmatic at 5:43 AM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

That's some dong.
posted by hal_c_on at 5:47 AM on July 2, 2011

This had to be a deliberate attempt to get some PR... It can't be that they just figured it out at the first game.

There are dumber-assed things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
posted by Diablevert at 5:48 AM on July 2, 2011 [19 favorites]

There is something rotten in the state of Texas.
posted by hal_c_on at 5:53 AM on July 2, 2011

Amarillo by mornin', cuz their new mascot's got a bone.
posted by punkfloyd at 5:58 AM on July 2, 2011 [3 favorites]

The cocks in socks are big and bright CLAP CLAP CLAP Deep in the heart of Texas!
posted by fijiwriter at 5:59 AM on July 2, 2011 [13 favorites]

You guys are all haters. I like a mascot that is obviously happy to see me. It makes the game seem so much... friendlier.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:02 AM on July 2, 2011 [6 favorites]

I'm half asleep still and so I got mixed-up, I was expecting to see an Armadillo wearing socks. Imagine my surprise....What the Hell is THAT supposed to be?!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:09 AM on July 2, 2011

It looks like the mascot has an erect penis.
posted by ColdChef at 6:15 AM on July 2, 2011 [25 favorites]

At least they're not called the Pink Sox.
posted by Scoo at 6:17 AM on July 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

A team spokesman said they couldn't find a guy for the cleanup position.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:20 AM on July 2, 2011 [4 favorites]

It looks like the mascot has an erect penis.

That was my first thought too.
posted by Meatbomb at 6:36 AM on July 2, 2011

But ... if they'd received the costume that they said they wanted, it would have just been a dude standing around in big yellow floppy shapeless bag. Totally unidentifiable as a sock. They probably weren't specifically expecting pointy sideways penis, but there's no way they were actually going to get what they asked for and be happy about it.
posted by penduluum at 6:37 AM on July 2, 2011

Oh grow up people!
posted by cjorgensen at 6:41 AM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

I can't stand these racist mascots.
posted by box at 6:44 AM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

'Cause I'm pan handlin', man handlin'
Post holin', high rollin', dust bowlin' daddy
posted by nathancaswell at 6:50 AM on July 2, 2011 [3 favorites]

A local blogger supplies le mot juste:

Dear Amarillo Sox,

Please pick a new mascot costume...preferably one that doesn't look like the Halloween costume
of a sex offender.

Sincerely, Josh
posted by rdone at 6:53 AM on July 2, 2011

The results were unsatisfactory.

I disagree.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:54 AM on July 2, 2011

It's not just that it's a bad costume, with an embarassing shape, it's that you can't tell what it is without someone telling you the name of the team. Unless they change their name to the Amarillo Awkward Erections, of course.
posted by tommasz at 6:56 AM on July 2, 2011 [3 favorites]

Fine, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

People, it only looks like that because I WAS WEARING THE COSTUME!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:03 AM on July 2, 2011 [5 favorites]

Don't forget SF's Healthy Penis camp
aign and the R.I. School of Design's Scrotie!
posted by jeffburdges at 7:06 AM on July 2, 2011

Still not as creepy as the Greendale Human Being.
posted by Rhomboid at 7:08 AM on July 2, 2011

Well, it's an improvement on their previous mascot, Big Chief Tent-His-Britches. Maybe now they'll stop doing that embarrassing version of the tomahawk chop.
posted by PlusDistance at 7:27 AM on July 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

The only time Amarillo ever makes the news is weird and wacky stuff like this. :D
posted by zarq at 7:28 AM on July 2, 2011

Back in my competitive trivia days, if you heard "Amarillo, Texas" the answer was usually "Helium."
posted by frecklefaerie at 7:37 AM on July 2, 2011

I think there are only two ways you could make a sock mascot:

1.) A guy wearing a picture of a sock on his shirt
2.) A guy wearing a sock as a hat

and even number 2 would probably be confusing
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:38 AM on July 2, 2011

Maybe now they'll stop doing that embarrassing version of the tomahawk chop.
posted by PlusDistance at 7:27 AM on July 2 [1 favorite +] [!]

Just cuz you can't.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 7:47 AM on July 2, 2011

the R.I. School of Design's Scrotie!

Despite his status as an unofficial mascot, [Scrotie ] is . . . widely accepted by the student body.

That's good. You certainly wouldn't want the body to reject the Scrotie.
posted by Herodios at 8:01 AM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

The comments I was expecting to find here:

Christ, what a dick!
I think I'm in love.
What does their women's team mascot look like?

You all disappoint me.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 8:35 AM on July 2, 2011

The Lakers have an unofficial mascot with a pretty notorious penis, too.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:57 AM on July 2, 2011 [4 favorites]

♫ I stretched my sock,
In Amarillo...♫
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 8:59 AM on July 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

Their new design, I hear, is going to be a guy wearing just one sock. That way, there will be no confusion about erections.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:05 AM on July 2, 2011

dances_with_sneetches

I wonder if it would be a lager problem if the tone changed.
posted by Mblue at 9:14 AM on July 2, 2011

There's nothing suggestive about a stiff yellow sock.

It's probably just a protein stain.
posted by ShutterBun at 9:15 AM on July 2, 2011 [2 favorites]

That's some quality reporting from Yahoo. The reporter assumes it's a man who made the costume and then in the very next paragraph quotes the team as saying a woman created the costume.
posted by Mitheral at 9:24 AM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is just begging to the inspiration for a sock puppet account.
posted by A dead Quaker at 10:09 AM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

*be
posted by A dead Quaker at 10:09 AM on July 2, 2011

That's some quality reporting from Yahoo. The reporter assumes it's a man who made the costume and then in the very next paragraph quotes the team as saying a woman created the costume.

"As a result, the Sox are trying out the mascot return policy by sending the dirty Sock back to his — yes, I'm pretty sure it's a him — creator for some alterations"

i think the reporter is assuming that the mascot, not its creator, is male.
posted by jjoye at 10:45 AM on July 2, 2011

darkstar?
posted by umberto at 11:16 AM on July 2, 2011

i think the reporter is assuming that the mascot, not its creator, is male.

I'd say that's a pretty big assumption. A big, throbbing assumption.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:09 PM on July 2, 2011

Too much starch, perhaps?!
posted by markkraft at 2:38 PM on July 2, 2011

"Boner Jams '03... he compiled all the best boner scenes I guess."
posted by drjimmy11 at 4:23 PM on July 2, 2011 [1 favorite]

Their new design, I hear, is going to be a guy wearing just one sock. That way, there will be no confusion about erections.

Depends on where he puts the sock.
posted by Anyamatopoeia at 5:06 PM on July 2, 2011

Anyone notice how Wally keeps looking more and more like David Ortiz? Or is that the other way around?
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:42 PM on July 2, 2011

I understand how a costume turns out like this, a mistake. But how does it end up going out in public, after a group of adults saw it? Bless their hearts. (And cocks).
posted by Nelson at 6:50 AM on July 3, 2011