"Even as I left Florida, far enough, far enough, wasn't far enough..."

July 8, 2011 7:45 AM

Sylvia Londono, a real estate agent and mother of two, says her condo, which she bought for $450,000 in 2007, is now worth $150,000. She has never moved in, she says, put off by the stench that rises from the site and a nearby sewage treatment plant on rainy days. “It has been the worst experience ever,” says Londono

Welcome to Biscayne Landing! You can learn a lot about our sprawling development by reading these informational "articles" (all internally written). Just please don't read this one (source of above quote). Mmmk, thanks!

A resident's mixed-feeling testimonial here.

"Yes, it's a former garbage dump, and people say, 'ew,' but it's not like in a few years people will have horns growing out of their head," [Scott Galvin, a North Miami councilman] said.

posted by obscurator (39 comments total)

Truth in advertising: "What will Biscayne Landing offer? EVERYTHING!"
posted by punkfloyd at 7:50 AM on July 8, 2011

After 50 years of failure, North Miami is still trying to create a successful development on a 190-acre site overlooking Biscayne Bay.

LISTEN CAREFULLY. NATURE IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:53 AM on July 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm already feeling quite despondent lately for a variety of reasons, and that photograph at Businessweek just really pours the cement on it.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:54 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

There's a fine line between "very healthy place to live" and "not causing people to grow horns".
posted by DU at 7:54 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

The city allowed Munisport to bring in clean construction debris to raise and shape the land for a golf course. At some point, Munisport started accepting municipal, medical, and toxic waste—so much that in 1982 the Environmental Protection Agency declared the development a Superfund site, having unearthed drums of chemicals and at least a dozen noxious gases, heavy metals, and other toxins.

People are in jail for this, right?
posted by jsturgill at 7:56 AM on July 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

People are in jail for this, right?

I imagine they're still out there doing the same shit under a different name, or an elected government official by now.
posted by elizardbits at 7:57 AM on July 8, 2011 [15 favorites]

People are in jail for this, right?

Ha! In Florida?

Nope, that's not how it works, I'm afraid...
posted by saulgoodman at 7:57 AM on July 8, 2011

"We have spent half a billion. People won't put that kind of money out on a project that is not safe."

I think, sir, that you are mistaken. Or lying. Or both. On the other hand, you are a developer and your lips are moving, so why am I surprised?
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:58 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

People are in jail for this, right?

Surely you jest. Real estate developers are the backbone of this country, they've made America what it is today.
posted by doctor_negative at 8:04 AM on July 8, 2011

"People say 'ew.'"

People....so picky!
posted by obscurator at 8:06 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

"We have spent half a billion. People won't put that kind of money out on a project that is not safe."

Let me show you our safe Iraq and Afghanistan wars!
posted by Legomancer at 8:07 AM on July 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

"We have spent half a billion. People won't put that kind of money out on a project that is not safe."

"Unless there is massive profit in it for us," he added, twirling his moustache and stroking his fluffy white Persian cat.
posted by elizardbits at 8:12 AM on July 8, 2011 [5 favorites]

Have we learned nothing from Poltergeist?
posted by tommasz at 8:12 AM on July 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

You would have thought, as a real estate agent, she would have had more sense about the place she sank almost half a million dollars into.
posted by crunchland at 8:13 AM on July 8, 2011 [7 favorites]

This sounds familiar.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:14 AM on July 8, 2011

She is a realtor and she bought into this? How odd.
posted by dgran at 8:20 AM on July 8, 2011

I used to work right in that area.
posted by oddman at 8:20 AM on July 8, 2011

Kudos for the Modest Mouse reference. :)
posted by natalinha at 8:23 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Have we learned nothing from Poltergeist?

"You moved the dump signs, but you left the garbage, didn't ya! You sonofabitch! You left the garbage and you ONLY MOVED THE SIGNAGE!"
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:25 AM on July 8, 2011 [7 favorites]

These kinds of things only remind me of this "Chesnutt.'

Florida

Florida, Florida, the redneck riviera
Florida, Florida, there's no more pathetic place in America
yes a man must make unpopular decisions, surely from time to time
and a man can only stand what a man can stand
it's a wobbly volatile line

Florida, Florida, the water table is fucked
Florida, Florida, there's no more perfect place to give it all up
a man must take his life in his own hands
hit those nails on the head
and i respect a man who goes to where he wants to be
even if he wants to be dead

Florida, Florida, its a tropical paradise
Florida, Florida, theres no more perfect place to retire from life.

Vic Chestnutt
posted by pianomover at 8:27 AM on July 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

An underground fire at the abandoned landfill

from sea to shining seeeeeeeea
posted by ook at 8:29 AM on July 8, 2011 [5 favorites]

This is just one of several "city within a city" places that speculators bought into when times were good and now have buyers regret about. The excuse here is what the location was before.
posted by eas98 at 8:40 AM on July 8, 2011

John Sayles made a brilliant movie called Sunshine State way back in 2002 documenting the existential dangers of selling out to developers.
posted by any major dude at 8:44 AM on July 8, 2011

Is this close to where Dexter dumped his bodies?
posted by desjardins at 8:53 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

And here I was, thinking that Carl Hiaasen's work was all fiction.
posted by Aizkolari at 9:00 AM on July 8, 2011 [3 favorites]

crunchland: "You would have thought, as a real estate agent, she would have had more sense about the place she sank almost half a million dollars into"

You ever *met* a real estate agent? They tend to believe their own hype.
posted by notsnot at 9:02 AM on July 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

ew. It's ugly, too
posted by mumimor at 9:12 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

You ever *met* a real estate agent? --- Oh yeah, I've met several real estate agents, and I guess I can't help but see this as a bit of a schadenfreude situation.
posted by crunchland at 9:23 AM on July 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

FL is a geographical reminder that there is no physical mandate that one learn from one's mistakes. It's hard to see a bright future for much of the state between climate change and the aggressively proud mismanagement it constantly endures.
posted by feloniousmonk at 9:25 AM on July 8, 2011

FL is a geographical reminder that there is no physical mandate that one learn from one's mistakes. It's hard to see a bright future for much of the state between climate change and the aggressively proud mismanagement it constantly endures.

Which is why we need to invade Cuba, stat. GIT ER DONE!
posted by spicynuts at 9:35 AM on July 8, 2011

The bottom line: After 50 years of failure, North Miami is still trying to create a successful development on a 190-acre site overlooking Biscayne Bay.

I do appreciate articles including a tl;dr at the end. Hope this trend picks up.
posted by kurumi at 9:51 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Ah, thanks MetaFilter. I now know that I live within a mile of a toxic waste dump. It's just behind the post office.
posted by JustKeepSwimming at 10:12 AM on July 8, 2011

Also witness the publicly-traded St. Joe Company (JOE) which, for example, wants you to think their Windmark Beach development looks like this, but actually it's empty lots and a Blazing Saddles-esque collection of facades, most of which look like this.

Ever has it been thus. Groucho Marx even made a movie about Florida real estate in the 20's. "You can have any kind of home you want. You can even get stucco. Oh, how you can get stuck-o!"
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 10:17 AM on July 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

Wait, I think I saw this movie in the 80s. At the end, the preppy developers son and his dad fall into the superfund site while the nerdy boy runs off down the beach with his friends and the girl?

Among the builders that have shown interest is Swerdlow, which is suggesting a combination of hotel, retail, residential space, and possibly even senior living. “We have such an extensive history with the site that we think we understand it better than anyone else,” says Dill.

No, no.. that doesn't sound right... Is this the sequel?
posted by formless at 10:20 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

These kinds of things only remind me of this "Chesnutt.'

I believe Gibby Haynes sang it best
posted by photoslob at 10:22 AM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh man. This Biscayne Landning is so absurd.

If you keep driving along the road that it's on, you'll come to FIU North Miami campus (which used to be called Biscayne Bay Campus). When I started taking the shuttle from the main campus up to BBC in 1999 it was an open secret that we were right next to a "former" superfund site. Yes, we put the scare quotes there, because it seemed shady even to a bunch of freshman that the designation was being lifted. You'd think a huge patch of waterfront woods would be prime ground for teenagers to sneak around in, drinking beer and smoking pot? Not this place. It stank so bad we wouldn't get near it.
posted by bilabial at 10:48 AM on July 8, 2011 [4 favorites]

The original developer, the company that sold their interest and walked away from the project, still has the project on their web page as though it's been moving right along since 2003! http://swerdlow.com/preserve_intro.html
posted by johnn at 10:55 AM on July 8, 2011

Cement a toxic waste pit, put up a retirement home. (ooooh, lah lah lah)
posted by yesster at 8:18 PM on July 8, 2011 [1 favorite]

Someone, somewhere, get me out of this state.
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 1:12 PM on July 10, 2011