More Like: IcePuncher
July 11, 2011 4:44 AM   Subscribe

 
I'm too much of an asshole to actually play this game. I'm having more fun watching the douchey business guy get creamed by the ice wall.
posted by NoMich at 4:51 AM on July 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


Apparently breaking ice walls gets tedious really quickly.
posted by Pants! at 4:51 AM on July 11, 2011 [5 favorites]


WAY too fast for me! I thought I had good reflexes, but I can only manage one wall ever.
posted by xingcat at 4:58 AM on July 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


I got within two of the end, but modern games have given me little patience with starting at the beginning every time you die.
posted by DU at 5:04 AM on July 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


NoMich: "I'm too much of an asshole to actually play this game. I'm having more fun watching the douchey business guy get creamed by the ice wall."

Play it drunk; it's even more enjoyable that way.
posted by bwg at 5:07 AM on July 11, 2011


Jason Statham career has really gone downhill.
posted by crunchland at 5:11 AM on July 11, 2011 [19 favorites]


Align cursor on top of the "L" in play. Click when cursor is around center of ice wall. Victory.
posted by dirtyid at 5:15 AM on July 11, 2011 [3 favorites]


Wow. How old is this? I have vague memories of my mom finding this years ago (back when we had dial up), and the family gathered around the computer laughing at the poor little suit guy. Anyone else remember it?
posted by phunniemee at 5:20 AM on July 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


I kept at it until I won. In part because the guy looks a bit like a pixellated version of me, even down to the precise baldness pattern. Never got the promised "memorial banner", although according to this thread from 2006 (yes, it appears to be a double - but an untraceable one) and some Wikipedia searching this is a version of a viral ad for some kind of zero-calorie version of Pepsi sold only in Japan that's been edited to remove the ad part. Sorry.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:23 AM on July 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


If you like timing-based games like this, check out Bit.Trip Runner.

(Personally I hated it, but I never got past breaking seven ice walls in the OP's game)
posted by ymgve at 5:35 AM on July 11, 2011


Goddammit I really wanted that zero-calorie Japanese Pepsi.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:39 AM on July 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


Takes me back to those Dragon's Lair arcade games, but with even less interactivity. And in DL I at least got the promised reward…
posted by monocultured at 5:45 AM on July 11, 2011


Suddenly, it's 10 years ago.
posted by gcbv at 5:51 AM on July 11, 2011


I think this is what Michael Bay should be forced to do in order to direct another movie.
posted by Fizz at 5:55 AM on July 11, 2011 [3 favorites]


WAY too fast for me! I thought I had good reflexes, but I can only manage one wall ever.

It's not a matter of reflexes - you need to click earlier than you think, at least that's what it looks like to me. I would expect to click at about an arm's length from the wall, but it clearly needs more.
posted by Dr Dracator at 5:58 AM on July 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


When you win, what? The guy runs off the screen and you're left listening to the same few seconds of music FOREVER. Not much of a reward.

Also, if Flash is stuttering even a tiny bit it will utterly ruin your run.
posted by JHarris at 6:02 AM on July 11, 2011


This seems like it was a precursor of Canabalt and Robot Unicorn Attack.
posted by empath at 6:12 AM on July 11, 2011


I would expect to click at about an arm's length from the wall, but it clearly needs more.

That's one of the reasons no one aces this game on the first try. There is a bit of a windup before your guy punches, and it takes time to realize how long that windup is, and when is the valid moment that the wall can be punched. Then you get to the last wall, the double-wall, and you have to be very precise with that timing.

There's an unavoidable element of trial and error in getting the timing down, but it doesn't seem that way to people who don't observe the game incisively. To them, their failures are always their own fault, and so they allow themselves to get addicted because they see themselves as improving, even though you inevitably fail until you get the time window down and the muscle memory programmed, even though such improvement is more about hitting an arbitrary time window than getting better at games.

It's really not a very good game.
posted by JHarris at 6:20 AM on July 11, 2011


Also included in this 150 Best Flash Games post from almost three years ago.
posted by Curious Artificer at 6:28 AM on July 11, 2011


I told you it was stupid in 2006, but the link died. Nice find, bwg!
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:29 AM on July 11, 2011


monocultured: "Takes me back to those Dragon's Lair arcade games, but with even less interactivity. And in DL I at least got the promised reward…"

Yeah, after breaking down all those ice walls, at least give the guy a Princess Daphne.
posted by zarq at 6:46 AM on July 11, 2011


This MUST be one of the restricted activities in Dustin Pedroia's contract.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:48 AM on July 11, 2011


Fizz: I think this is what Michael Bay should be forced to do in order to direct another movie.

Dude, this is Michael Bay's next movie. And his last one, and the one before that, and the one before that...
posted by afx237vi at 6:50 AM on July 11, 2011 [1 favorite]


What is amazing is that 5 years later the same flash program runs less well than it did then.
posted by I Foody at 6:59 AM on July 11, 2011 [3 favorites]


I remember my first internet
posted by joelf at 7:20 AM on July 11, 2011


There's a single strand of hair on my screen, and if I click right as the ice wall passes it the guy breaks through every time.

*gust of wind*

NOOOOOOOOO.
posted by lemuring at 7:50 AM on July 11, 2011 [2 favorites]


Yeah, after breaking down all those ice walls, at least give the guy a Princess Daphne.

Sorry, your princess is in another castle.
posted by no relation at 9:33 AM on July 11, 2011


no relation: " Sorry, your princess is in another castle."

Kimmy!
posted by zarq at 10:12 AM on July 11, 2011


This was a promotion for Pepsi, or was used as one. You get to the end and the guy cracks open a Pepsi.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 10:40 AM on July 11, 2011


...and I just broke through the last wall (header), and the guy didn't come back drinking a bottle of Pepsi. So that's interesting.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 12:25 PM on July 11, 2011


What's the trick for leaping the fire pond on the third level? I can't get the gymnastics rings to work.
posted by gubo at 7:00 PM on July 11, 2011


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