EXTRA! EXTRA! TODD SMELLS!

July 13, 2011 1:05 PM

A collection of newspaper headlines from "The Simpsons" (SLYT)
posted by Hey Dean Yeager! (39 comments total)

Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?
posted by growabrain at 1:14 PM on July 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

But why is this a video?
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:15 PM on July 13, 2011 [9 favorites]

Metafilter: Your handy guide to stuff on YouTube.
posted by tommasz at 1:18 PM on July 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

I love how the price of the Springfield Shopper varies between FREE, 35c and 50c.
posted by TwoWordReview at 1:18 PM on July 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

there are so many little jokes right here , press pause.
posted by The Whelk at 1:20 PM on July 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

But why is this a video?

Beats having it spread across seventeen separate pages.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:20 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter: Bums extend deadline.
posted by phaedon at 1:21 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't know if this is cut out to be an "Extra".
posted by King Bee at 1:24 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Is your source reliable?
posted by The Whelk at 1:24 PM on July 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

avoision here, from the Springfield Daily Shopper. Who are you? Where are you going?
posted by avoision at 1:31 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

Newspapers? Who needs 'em?

I get all the information I need from watching Smartline and Eye on Springfield.
posted by box at 1:32 PM on July 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

They missed "Deadbeat Dad Beat Dead", "Burns to Open Recycling Plant Makes Other Bums Look Bad" and "Krusty: Worst King Lear in 400 Years".

I also remember something like "Ho. J. Simpson Trial Begins", but can't quite remember the context.

The best part about this is just seeing the headline and remembering the lead up to it. Especially the "Hippo Promoted To Detective" thing.

Anyway, here's a list of a bunch of the headlines.
posted by King Bee at 1:32 PM on July 13, 2011 [4 favorites]

Oooh, also, from The Lenny Saver: The Truth About Carl: He's Great
posted by King Bee at 1:35 PM on July 13, 2011

They definitely didn't miss: "Burns to Open Recycling Plant Makes Other Bums Look Bad"

MY favourite is: Second Headline Less Important, Studies Show
posted by doublehappy at 1:35 PM on July 13, 2011

I keep waiting for a blog detailing and analyzing every appearance of that crack in their kitchen wall.
posted by kimota at 1:35 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

PREZ SEZ: "SCHOOL IS FOR LOSERS"
posted by incomple at 1:38 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

PREZ SEZ: "SCHOOL IS FOR LOSERS"
posted by griphus at 1:40 PM on July 13, 2011

My favorite (and one I didn't notice before) is "Quimby's Proposition 24 On Ballot" and the headline below that "Quimby Propositions 24 At Ballet"
posted by Hey Dean Yeager! at 1:43 PM on July 13, 2011 [9 favorites]

Bear Patrol Steps Up Bombing Campaign because they got snaps
posted by steef at 1:48 PM on July 13, 2011

How many of these "scoop" headlines came from bugging Homer's phone? (The Simpsons IS a subsidiary of News Corp.)
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:50 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

I always enjoyed the ongoing gag that the president in the Simpson's universe is always swapping wives or getting shot and it barely makes it to the front page.
posted by The Whelk at 1:52 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

From an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon: You Need A Heart To Live
posted by King Bee at 1:53 PM on July 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

Amazing what passes for news these days..
posted by obscurator at 2:05 PM on July 13, 2011

This just in: The Lincoln squirrel has been assassinated. We'll stay with this story all night if we have to.
posted by Earthtopus at 3:04 PM on July 13, 2011

The only one I wanted to see was "Old Man Yells at Cloud."

I came, I saw, I came, and closed the window.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 3:53 PM on July 13, 2011 [2 favorites]

My favorite: "Dick Cavett Born." (DNWTFV, though)
posted by kurumi at 4:14 PM on July 13, 2011

My favorite thing about the period "Dick Cavett Born" and "Woody Allen Born" ones is that they feature pictures of them as fully grown adults.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:15 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Monsters OK Slavery Plan"...THAT is satire.
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:01 PM on July 13, 2011

I watched a few seconds of the video but let it finish playing while I did other stuff because Mozart pulled me in with the soothing goodness.

BURNS PLANS SUNSHINE HALT
SPECIAL SECTION:
Your Guide to Perpetual Darkness
posted by zephyr_words at 7:12 PM on July 13, 2011

I never noticed it before, but these are an uncanny cross between the NY Post and those headlines that would scroll at the bottom of the screen in SimCity 3000. (3000? 2000? 3000?)
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 8:16 PM on July 13, 2011 [1 favorite]

U-ASS-A!
posted by edgeways at 9:01 PM on July 13, 2011

The Simpsons is great but the series has been on the air way too long, time to end the show.
posted by Loki's Thunder at 9:21 PM on July 13, 2011

'Local Man Ruins Everything" is still my all time favorite, but I don't even know why. Probably something to do with the age I was when I saw the eppy.
posted by sweetkid at 9:51 PM on July 13, 2011 [3 favorites]

If you replace "Springfield Shopper" with "Huffington Post" it explains so much.
posted by CosmicRayCharles at 10:05 AM on July 14, 2011

Ok, fine, I'll watch the Simpsons all afternoon. Are you happy?
posted by codacorolla at 2:28 PM on July 14, 2011

Codacorolla, yes, yes we are.
posted by TwoWordReview at 3:15 PM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Then you'll be glad to know that The Beer Baron is as funny as I remember it being.
posted by codacorolla at 3:23 PM on July 14, 2011

I get all my news from The Daily Fourth Gradian.
posted by Neofelis at 10:48 PM on July 15, 2011

"Quimby nephew charged in beating: chowder said wrong".
posted by rossination at 11:08 PM on July 15, 2011