Fucking wanker!

July 20, 2011 1:52 AM

"F**king wanker!" "Wanker!" "You f**king wanker!" "You f**king wanker! You tosspot!" "You stupid wanker!" "I am not a wanker!" "F**king are!" And the classic, "Wuuuarrrrgggh!" Ladies and gentleman, I bring you deranged Bristolian electric bicyclist Taypet21's YouTube channel.

This chap seems to enjoy nothing more than a ride in Bristol, UK and the surrounding area with cameras mounted on the front and bike of this battery-powered bicycle. He also seems to like swearing in an inimitable Westcountry accent. A lot.

posted by hnnrs (63 comments total)

You know who else is a wanker? Just apologize and move on.
posted by chavenet at 2:03 AM on July 20, 2011 [4 favorites]

The crazy is strong here.

"I got that all on camera mate"
"I wasn't anywhere near you"
"You fucking wanker"
posted by Elmore at 2:11 AM on July 20, 2011

Apologies to the queen and all that rot, but I confess it reminded me of this.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:11 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

I'm relieved to not see my registration number on any of his videos. Should I happen to see any electric bicyclists on the Gloucester Road I shall henceforth be giving them a wider berth.
posted by misteraitch at 2:18 AM on July 20, 2011 [3 favorites]

This is the guy's raison d'etre? Riding around with a video camera on the off chance that he might - *gasp* - capture a traffic violation on film?
posted by likeso at 2:32 AM on July 20, 2011

Why am I lusting to see these joined and Autotuned?
posted by bwg at 2:34 AM on July 20, 2011

Riding around with a video camera on the off chance that he might - *gasp* - capture a traffic violation on film?

So are cyclists not bound by the rules of the Highway Code? In the 'You fucking wanker, you tosspot' clip, the car in front of him stops to make a left turn, is indicating his left turn, and this loony decides he's going to overtake on the inside -- then gets all bent out of shape because the driver didn't see him.

Well guess what? If you're going to overtake me on my left, I might not see you either. Do like normal people do, and either wait until I've made my turn before you pass me, or overtake on the right.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:43 AM on July 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

In the 'You fucking wanker, you tosspot' clip, the car in front of him stops to make a left turn, is indicating his left turn, and this loony decides he's going to overtake on the inside

Wrong.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:45 AM on July 20, 2011

Ah, on rewatching that clip I see that they were pretty well side-by-side when the red car makes his turn.

OK, so car driver is a fucking wanker. Never mind.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:45 AM on July 20, 2011

In the US and when cars are the vehicles, the rule is "pedestrians always have the right of way". Is that not true in UK wrt bikes?
posted by DU at 2:47 AM on July 20, 2011

Is that not true in UK wrt bikes?

Bikes are vehicles, not pedestrians. That's why they don't let you cycle on the pavement.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:51 AM on July 20, 2011

Well guess what? If you're going to overtake me on my left, I might not see you either. Do like normal people do, and either wait until I've made my turn before you pass me, or overtake on the right.

Ugh, this sounds so horribly wrong. Look its about time you stop driving on the wrong side of the road okay?
posted by xqwzts at 3:33 AM on July 20, 2011 [3 favorites]

Clearly the woman in the "Wuuuarrrrgggh!" video should have been paying more attention, but I'm not sure how much I support this bloke's right to ride a motorised bike at high speed on what appears to be a shared pathway without using a bell.

With him all the way in "You f**king wanker! You tosspot!", though.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 3:42 AM on July 20, 2011

I'll offer sh4rkeybloke's YouTube channel as a more rounded approach to good/bad use of the road from a cyclist's PoV.

It's a sad fact of cycling life that no matter how hard you try, there will always be someone who will try and take you our because they aren't paying attention or just are so desperate to save 0.5s of their life at the risk of obliterating someone else's.

Trouble is, there's people in every mobility group that just don't give a shit.
posted by i_cola at 3:45 AM on July 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

Would it hurt him to add a bell, and make occasional use of it? How man times does he have to run into people (regardless of whether he has right of way) before thinking of that?
posted by slater at 3:56 AM on July 20, 2011

Bikes are vehicles, not pedestrians.

ummm..that's what I mean. In the video I watched, the bike guy hit a pedestrian (knocking him almost under a bus) and then cursed him for being in the bike path. But if pedestrians always have the right of way, then the bike guy is at fault.
posted by DU at 4:18 AM on July 20, 2011 [3 favorites]

Would it hurt him to add a bell

Why, so this can happen?

*ding ding*

'Herp derp, I shall just panic slightly now, step right, then left, then right again, all while trying to turn on the spot before freezing, then trying to twist my crotch away from the oncoming bike which I will try to stop by flailing my limp wrists around in front of me.'
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:28 AM on July 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

Bike guy would do well not to ride in vehicle blind spots either; to me the 'tosspot' clip looks a lot like that: the guy in the red car couldn't see him and that's why he nosed in to turn.

But I also agree that the woman in the long clip should have checked before stepping right; there were lots of cyclists and she should have expected something might be coming.

Then again half the time bike guy seems to be going too fast and not really 'sharing' the road as well as he might, and he's got an obvious chip on his shoulder.
posted by bwg at 4:30 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

He seems to charge straight into things. e-bikes are weird things, in that they look like a bike, but can be driven much faster. In the first video, though he may have right of way, he misses the cue that the dude is likely crossing the rest of the road. Most people would slow down; not Taypet21.

Much as I loved having an AirZound for venting at daft motor vehicle drivers, they're not recognized as a bike signature sound, and sometimes make pedestrians freeze in exactly the wrong place. Some pre-emptive bell usage, and perhaps slowing down, might've prevented Wuuuarrrrgggh! Then again, he could be going a bit fast for a bell to register.
posted by scruss at 4:37 AM on July 20, 2011

Sometimes cyclists are rude.
posted by bwg at 4:40 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Not being familiar with the language, I had to look up wanker and tosspot in Wikipedia. Apparently they both mean "masturbator", though I'm not sure how masturbation affects traffic flow between cyclists and automobiles.
posted by twoleftfeet at 4:42 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

I must confess that, as an American, "fucking wanker" hits my ears as such a polite & non-threatening insult. (err, relatively speaking)
posted by ShutterBun at 4:51 AM on July 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm not sure how masturbation affects traffic flow between cyclists and automobiles.

Well, some of these people do seem to suffer from a degree of impaired vision.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:58 AM on July 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

Would it hurt him to add a bell, and make occasional use of it? How man times does he have to run into people (regardless of whether he has right of way) before thinking of that?


Would it hurt you to listen to the videos? He has a horn which is clearly audible in nearly every video.
posted by spicynuts at 5:00 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

In the US and when cars are the vehicles, the rule is "pedestrians always have the right of way".

That might be the polite way to think, but in my jurisdiction we have jaywalking laws, controlled crosswalks, and the like. While one should, of course, take every precaution not to run over anyone, pedestrians do not have the right of way in my city.
posted by MrMoonPie at 5:24 AM on July 20, 2011

pedestrians do not have the right of way in my city.

I think you'll find that "don't we have jaywalking laws?!" is not a valid defense for hitting a pedestrian.
posted by DU at 5:40 AM on July 20, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm not a wanker!

It's so strange to hear a simple refutation of name-calling. And in such a wounded tone. It breaks a core assumption in the angry-relationship contract, and completely changes the nature of the exchange.

If I have the presence of mind the next time I'm in a situation like that, I'm going to do the same thing.
posted by CaseyB at 5:46 AM on July 20, 2011 [5 favorites]

I know someone who actually ran into a pedestrian. It turns out the pedestrian was drunk and not only was she at fault, the pedestrian had to pay to fix her car.
posted by delmoi at 5:47 AM on July 20, 2011

what an asshole. in the car videos he shows a complete lack of defensive awareness, and in the pedestrian videos he's clearly at fault. no way he should have hit either of those people.

as an urban cyclist, these videos really make me cringe.
posted by facetious at 5:49 AM on July 20, 2011 [8 favorites]

On the one hand, he's clearly at least partially at fault in some of these, and is pretty quick to take offense to some real non-issues (and I say this as someone who has chased down plenty of cars to tell off the drivers).

On the other hand, these are hilarious. Probably it's the adorable British insult thing.
posted by Dr.Enormous at 6:07 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

That fellow right there is a recipe for mishap.
posted by rmmcclay at 6:11 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Some of this is verging on the cyclotic.
posted by running order squabble fest at 6:14 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

I enjoyed the clips, but I do not advocate his behaviour. I would imagine that if he were to get injured whilst whizzing about on his powered vehicle there might be a marked lack of sympathy. He makes an effort to ride aggressively, which is always going to cause aggravation what ever vehicle is involved.

Bristol clearly has a number of nice cycle paths for him to use, which is better than most UK cities. Perhaps they could consider some speed limits for them in mixed use areas. I think that the collision with the lady is not in a mixed used area though.
posted by asok at 6:17 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

and in the pedestrian videos he's clearly at fault.

He (and another cyclist in the video where he hits the woman) claims in the comments to the rear-view version that the bike path he was on is a cycling path, and that the turnoff she was heading for without looking behind her was an unofficial cut-through carved by pedestrians.:

The path exit to the right is not an exit it is a exit made by peds taking a short cut thu the industrial estate, each official exit is clearly marked & named, there is no no seperation between pavement & road as it is all a cycle path

Don't get me wrong, he seems like a bit of a wanker to me, too, but he's at least attempting a defense of that pedestrian crash.
posted by mediareport at 6:19 AM on July 20, 2011

If he's driving a motor-powered vehicle, he should be driving defensively and not ramming into pedestrians full-tilt. From the look of this, he's the sort of petty little git that gives other cyclists a bad name.

Sigh.

Anyway, what's with those zig-zag road markings? What do they mean?
posted by WhackyparseThis at 6:30 AM on July 20, 2011

Bristol clearly has a number of nice cycle paths for him to use...

"In 2008 Greater Bristol was chosen as England's first Cycling City and received £11m from the Department for Transport to transform cycling." (1) Although, the project "aimed at doubling the number of regular cyclists in Bristol has failed to reach its targets [...] bike use has only risen by a third at the end of the three-year programme." (2)
posted by misteraitch at 6:33 AM on July 20, 2011

Anyway, what's with those zig-zag road markings? What do they mean?

That you are on a carriageway near a pedestrian crossing, and therefore carriages should not park, wait or overtake. Quite a sensible road marking, actually - not sure why more countries don't have them.
posted by running order squabble fest at 6:36 AM on July 20, 2011

He (and another cyclist in the video where he hits the woman) claims in the comments to the rear-view version that the bike path he was on is a cycling path, and that the turnoff she was heading for without looking behind her was an unofficial cut-through carved by pedestrians.

Unless he's asserting that his collision was an intentional attempt to prevent that lady from breaking the law, I cannot think of any reason why her intention in walking in that direction matters. It doesn't matter whether she was going over there to take an unofficial cut-through, or tie her shoelaces, or smell the pretty flowers, or smooch whoever she was with, or anything else. You still don't get to ride your bike right into her, and you have to expect pedestrians to behave somewhat erratically and govern your own speed and behavior accordingly.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:42 AM on July 20, 2011 [4 favorites]

I hope that these videos are just unfortunate blips in an otherwise peaceful and uneventful cycling experience, because if not, wow... what an angry little man.

Seeing these back to back makes me feel like someone seriously needs to get off of their high horse bicycle before he ends up seriously hurting himself or someone else.

I bike. A lot. I am well aware that the onus is on me to protect myself from people oblivious to or being inconsiderate of my presence. I always assume I'm not seen unless I can look into someone's eyes. I have had some close calls even with this attitude, and in those cases I have gotten very angry, but I was somehow able to move on with my life in about 5 minutes.

I am aware that when on my bike I am a vehicle, but I don't think that I, in any way, shape or form am comparable to a car. Traffic laws are what they are, but today I'd rather be happy than right, and enjoy my biking, not roll around bitter and poisoned with pointless self righteousness.

There is also no excuse for mowing over a pedestrian. Sure, we all make mistakes, pedestrian and bicyclist alike, but show some foresight and slow down. Be aware that a person with their back to you could, at any time, possibly go "Oooh! Shiny!!!" and step out directly into your path. If you can, make your presence known with enough time to stop. If not, let off the pedals and keep your hand on the brake.
posted by Debaser626 at 6:43 AM on July 20, 2011 [3 favorites]

Hah! I drive an electric bike in Beijing (where there aren't as much traffic "rules" as there are "suggestions") every day and if I were driving like this guy does I'd be dead a long time ago. Spatial awareness, defensive driving, preemptive honking. People are stupid. Pedestrians are going to run into the road right in front of you, and motorists are going to cut you off in turns - often without even the courtesy of blinking as Mr. Tosspot does here.
posted by Aiwen at 6:45 AM on July 20, 2011

West Country and Bristol accents are just perfect for swearing. It's the rich, long vowels and those lovely rolling 'r's. I don't think any other regional accents in the UK can make swearing so beautiful.

That said, he's an idiot.
posted by dowcrag at 6:54 AM on July 20, 2011 [2 favorites]

Watching these videos of people driving on the left are really disorienting coming from a right-drive country.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 7:07 AM on July 20, 2011

carriages should not park, wait or overtake

I see. We have straight yellow lines for that around here.
posted by WhackyparseThis at 7:18 AM on July 20, 2011

The problem will solve itself when the loonie proves himself right—dead right.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:20 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Jesus, what an idiot! Like making fun about hitting someone on a bike path - i.e. another person's misery - is entertaining? Or, swearing at people on the open road to the point of open harrassment is entertaining? Seriously, this guy is posting his abusive (and dangerous) behavior on youtube, for attention?!? And setting what kind of example? Screw him! And god help him if he ever ran down anyone in my old neighborhood! He wouldn't have a bike left, and might find himself looking up from a hospital gurney after having his face punched in. Notice how he picks his victims; they all look like they aren't prepared to defend against this nutcase. Karma awaits this as*hat/bully!
posted by Vibrissae at 7:24 AM on July 20, 2011

In the video I watched, the bike guy hit a pedestrian (knocking him almost under a bus) and then cursed him for being in the bike path. But if pedestrians always have the right of way, then the bike guy is at fault.

Oh, right. On a road like that with no footpath, I believe pedestrians are supposed to walk om the right side of the road, so as to be able to see the oncoming traffic. So that woman was walking to the side of the road that she was supposed to be walking on when he knocked her down.

He definitely looks guilty of driving without reasonable consideration for other road users. I'd give him three penalty points, and take his license.

Oh, wait...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:55 AM on July 20, 2011

West Country and Bristol accents are just perfect for swearing. It's the rich, long vowels and those lovely rolling 'r's. I don't think any other regional accents in the UK can make swearing so beautiful.


I beg to differ.
posted by Put the kettle on at 8:04 AM on July 20, 2011

He (and another cyclist in the video where he hits the woman) claims in the comments to the rear-view version yt that the bike path he was on is a cycling path, and that the turnoff she was heading for without looking behind her was an unofficial cut-through carved by pedestrians.

The UK cycle path is for cyclists and walkers -- not just for cyclists. Watch the clip again -- hey haven't put all those benches along that path just so the cyclists have got somewhere to sit when they feel like getting off their bikes.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:06 AM on July 20, 2011

carriages should not park, wait or overtake

So cool you guys still have carriages.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 8:10 AM on July 20, 2011

villanelles at dawn: Brits actually still do, legally - hence "dual carriageway" to mean a divided highway. Cycles are carriages under the Road Traffic Act, which is why you are not supposed to drive them on the sidewalk.

Sidenote: for fans of Bristolian accents, the best of Ian Holloway.
posted by running order squabble fest at 8:28 AM on July 20, 2011

Sometimes cyclists are rude .
posted by bwg at 12:40 PM on July 20

That was beautiful.
posted by Decani at 9:01 AM on July 20, 2011

I'm amused by how angry he gets. The drivers are speeding, but nothing like they do where I live. They are passing him with little room, but far more than I am typically afforded by the careless set of drivers who are most terrifying to interact with. Relatively speaking, everything is slow, calmer, relaxed, and yet he is still angry and runs around in a huff at the continuous (and normal) traffic violations.

I think that this youtube channel is a kind of release for him, which allows him to show everyone his mistakes. I think he wants to shame himself into being careful, and it's evident in some of the descriptions he writes ("I know I should calm down and not swear...").
posted by melatonic at 9:18 AM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

I don't know about the UK, but here in the United States there are few jurisdictions that would recognize this rude fellow as a bicyclist or his vehicle as a bicycle. Motorized bicycles cannot legally be driven in bicycle lanes or on bicycle paths in my city.
posted by FLAG (BASTARD WATER.) (Acorus Adulterinus.) at 9:32 AM on July 20, 2011

Melatonic, as an everyday bicyclist living in Bristol, I heartily agree with your assessment of biking here. while I have encountered the odd tossport or wanker, the vast majority of Bristol drivers are far more aware of and respectful of cyclists than anywhere else I've lived (Michigan, Chicago, NYC). This is in no small part due to the tendency for British cities to have much narrower roads than you'll ever see in the states. You have to be prepared to make way for other vehicles or else you'll never get anywhere. There's also a, ahem, critical mass of cyclists about, so anytime you drive, you're going to be seeing at least a few cyclists on the roads.
posted by ursus_comiter at 9:42 AM on July 20, 2011

I say we all chip in and bring Taypet21 to America! Hilarity would surely ensue.
posted by Xoebe at 10:52 AM on July 20, 2011

Ok the two videos where he knocks down pedestrians - first link and "Wuuuarrrrgggh!" link - make me furious. I don't care if he's using a motorised bike or a regular bike, why the hell did he not slow down? he's the one coming from behind! they hadn't seen him. Now the pedestrian crossing the street should have looked first when crossing the bike path part of the street, even if he had a green light to cross, but agh, this idiot went ahead and knocked him down anyway. In the other "watch me knocking down pedestrians to PROVE A POINT" video, it's a path in a park! where I assume pedestrians and cyclists share that path, so he's clearly unambiguously in the wrong there.

I am a cyclist, I don't even have a car, so I'm not saying this as anti-cyclist polemic it's just this sort of behaviour that makes me mad (and makes me less safe, too). He is an idiot, and worse, representative of a subspecies of idiots who, like idiots who happen to be driving cars or idiots who happen driving any other vehicle or not driving, happen to be idiots on a bike, and the extra idiocy is that because they're cycling and because they're on a bike path they think their rights as cyclists trump any caution and consideration towards others. (There's an egregious minority of these kind of cyclists in Berlin too, sadly.) How is this promoting urban cycling in any way? Especially in light of all the dangers and abuse cyclists DO face from car and truck drivers? It's so so so stupid, arrogant, and dangerous really. For himself too.
posted by bitteschoen at 11:13 AM on July 20, 2011 [4 favorites]

Oops, of course, should have replaced "idiot" with "wanker". My sincere apologies.
posted by bitteschoen at 11:14 AM on July 20, 2011

ditto. as does this recent accident in San Francisco.

that said, for every 1 of these video guys or red-light-running grandma killers, there are 10,000 dangerous motorists. the SF incident would be the first death caused by a bicycle since 2005.

It's so so so stupid, arrogant, and dangerous really. For himself too.

The problem will solve itself when the loonie proves himself right—dead right.

Yeah, that's why it doesn't make my blood boil too much. The biggest danger is to himself (and the poor "wanker" who eventually hits and injures or kills him.)

I certainly admit a prejudice against bicycles with motors. What's the point?
posted by mrgrimm at 12:22 PM on July 20, 2011

The point is you get a fast-moving, light, cheap vehicle that you can ride in bike lanes, of course. Maybe you don't think that's a good idea, but if it's legal, you can't totally fault the guy.

In DC, such vehicles, and scooters, may ride in bike lanes, but not on dedicated bike paths. That is, my wife can zip along next to stopped traffic, but she cannot ride on the lovely paths along the Potomac. She can also park in bike racks, or even just chain her ride to a tree or lamp post. She carries a copy of the DC regs with her, and has shown them to meter maids and even an irate cyclist a time or two.

Do not assume that traffic laws in your jurisdiction are universal. It's even legal to ride a bike on the sidewalk in DC, as long as one is not in the downtown business district.
posted by MrMoonPie at 12:31 PM on July 20, 2011

Pedestrians have right of way = Right to bear arms

A stupid rule that is used by morons to justify moron behavior. It needs to change.

**What mode of transport can go from FULL SPEED to a full stop, literally on a dime?
**And then back up to FULL SPEED in a fraction of a second?
**What mode of transport can turn 90 degrees at FULL SPEED, literally on a dime?
**What mode of transport can go from FULL SPEED forward to FULL SPEED reverse in a fraction of a second?

It's just so easy for people on foot to avoid trouble with virtually zero inconvenience. Common sense dictates pedestrians should make way for other modes of transport.

Speaking of common sense. Who doesn't look behind them when THEY SUDDENLY WANT TO TURN RIGHT on a bike path? Apart from common sense, it's also manners. That clips says to me "I am a moron and I have no manners."

Those of you who made the "bell" comments obviously haven't ridden a bike at speeds over 15kmph. As well as being useless at any decent range, bells also cause dumb people [read: 50% of pedestrians] to PANIC, rather than move to the side in an orderly manner.

Agree on the defensive awareness comments. I would not have had any of those accidents.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 7:01 PM on July 20, 2011

A stupid rule that is used by morons to justify moron behavior. It needs to change.

You wouldn't be taypet21's American cousin, by any chance?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:54 PM on July 20, 2011 [1 favorite]

Not that I wouldn't like to own a gun. But I'm not a moron.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:01 AM on July 21, 2011

What mode of transport can go from FULL SPEED to a full stop, literally on a dime?

FULL SPEED sounds so much more dramatic than "4mph".

"[Passing] on your left" seems to be the universally-accepted, and frequently-issued, warning for I'm-coming-up-behind-you on mixed-use trails around here. As a pedestrian, I find this a much more useful warning than a bell. But yes, I also find looking over my shoulder before moving left useful for not stepping into the path of bikes.

Is it just an artifact of the filming, or is his electric bike (a) faster and (b) quieter than the average urban cyclist? It reminds me a little of the trams in Amsterdam, which are regularly walked into by pedestrian tourists because they're quiet, fast, and unexpected.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:50 PM on July 21, 2011