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July 21, 2011 10:07 AM   Subscribe

Holy Maury Mother of God is your one stop shop for gifs, non sequiturs, and reaction shots from the Maury Povich Show.
posted by hermitosis (52 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
'_'
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:13 AM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


WHATEVER, HERMITOSIS. I KNOW YOU ARE THE FATHER. THE BABY LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU.
posted by piratebowling at 10:13 AM on July 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


Please don't.
posted by tommasz at 10:14 AM on July 21, 2011


If the Maury Povich show didn't actually exist, this would be a crazily brilliant piece of post-modern literary world-building.
posted by cortex at 10:18 AM on July 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


The best part of audience reaction shots is seeing who doesn't wince.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:18 AM on July 21, 2011


I guess I should have tagged this "TV-MA."
posted by hermitosis at 10:22 AM on July 21, 2011


BIG BUTTS?
posted by griphus at 10:27 AM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Shows like this are basically modernized bumfights. It's not funny, it's sad.
posted by Gator at 10:30 AM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Maury's show predates bumfights by fifteen years. Also, there isn't any fighting.
posted by griphus at 10:33 AM on July 21, 2011


Let's see how the people who are worse than us are doing today.
posted by Legomancer at 10:34 AM on July 21, 2011


I'm sorry for loving this so much.

SO MUCH.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 10:36 AM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


When I was in grad school for lighting design we went to see a lot of different types of shows tape and our talk show was the Maury Povich show. As we walked in a producer looked at us and said excitedly, "All your teeth? In the front!"

That day was so horrifying that afterwards we all went to a diner for lunch and everyone just quietly picked at their food and avoided eye contact.
posted by Thin Lizzy at 10:39 AM on July 21, 2011 [26 favorites]


Griphus- there isn't any fighting that they air.
posted by Thin Lizzy at 10:40 AM on July 21, 2011


GET USED TO IT, GRANDPA, IT AINT THE FIFTIES ANYMORE
posted by Greg Nog at 10:43 AM on July 21, 2011


It's not funny, it's sad.

I'm going to have to disagree.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:47 AM on July 21, 2011 [3 favorites]


This looks like a rage-face gold mine.
posted by palbo at 10:49 AM on July 21, 2011


This thread.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 10:56 AM on July 21, 2011 [3 favorites]


I don't get the red popup blurb things. Are the reactions not from that same show? Or is that an "up next!" thing?
posted by DU at 10:57 AM on July 21, 2011


I think that's so you can tell what's going on even if the doctor's office receptionist has the sound turned almost all the way down. You don't actually need to hear what the people are saying (it's mostly bleeped out anyway); it's all in the body language.
posted by hermitosis at 10:59 AM on July 21, 2011


MetaFilter: So, you say you hate that blog because it's stupid and hateful and it makes you want to die, but you look at it very day.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:00 AM on July 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


*every
posted by Sys Rq at 11:00 AM on July 21, 2011


Dear Maury, Please help my mee maw and have her on TV on your show. kthxby
posted by NoMich at 11:01 AM on July 21, 2011 [4 favorites]


The one in the "reaction" link is so perfect. It's like poetry. STD
posted by DecemberBoy at 11:02 AM on July 21, 2011


Free as a bird
posted by thescientificmethhead at 11:12 AM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm conflicted by this. I used to watch Maury years ago, and I recall laughing at the absurdities. But as I look over this screen-grabs I note A LOT of slut shaming. Yes, I agree one probably shouldn't wear a see-through gown with no panties to one's own graduation, but why the fixation on "misbehaving" women. The episodes that focus on men usually have something to do with cheating, and then Maury almost always brings out the "mistress" so the audience can hiss and boo at her too. That mysterious tooth picture is something else though.
posted by Partario at 11:29 AM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


hahahahah the underclass amirite?

thumbs-down.
posted by modernnomad at 11:33 AM on July 21, 2011


We have plenty of TV that laughs at the upper class too. Also, the middle class.

Mostly we just have plenty of TV.
posted by hermitosis at 11:36 AM on July 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


Dear Maury, Please help my mee maw and have her on TV on your show. kthxby

This page could be a post all by itself. It's amazing.
posted by unixrat at 11:47 AM on July 21, 2011 [4 favorites]


I just...I just want to slowly feed a carrot into her mouth.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 11:51 AM on July 21, 2011 [3 favorites]


This page could be a post all by itself. It's amazing.

Sit tight, unixrat because...we've got a surprise for you!
posted by cortex at 11:54 AM on July 21, 2011 [5 favorites]


Sit tight, unixrat because...we've got a surprise for you!

http://img2.moonbuggy.org/imgstore/youre-not-the-father.gif
posted by unixrat at 12:05 PM on July 21, 2011


With all the 'Real Housewives of X', 'Mob Wives', 'Basketball Wives', and the myriad of other knockoffs and re-imaginings running around on E!, MTV, VH1 and TLC I think I can sleep soundly knowing Maury is giving the underclass their 15 minutes to air their dirty laundry.

Can somebody make a tumblr of 'Real Housewives of Orange County' gifs. Preferably of them being loaded into cannons and shot into large silicone implants, or maybe one of their faces opening up revealing a gremlin at the controls; Cyriak style.

I'll pay in cookies.
posted by The Power Nap at 12:07 PM on July 21, 2011


hermitosis: "We have plenty of TV that laughs at the upper class too."

Cite? I mean, this is the primary reason I watch House Hunters, but the show itself is pretty nice to the rich folks.
posted by Apropos of Something at 12:08 PM on July 21, 2011


It's only been on 13 seasons? But it gives so much...
posted by spec80 at 12:17 PM on July 21, 2011


I bookmarked the site before you stick up the ass types get this post yanked.
posted by fleetmouse at 12:24 PM on July 21, 2011


Cite?

Well, there's all the "Wives" shows mentioned above. Plus all the reality shows riding the O.C. wave: Laguna Beach, The Hills, etc. The trading wives/professional nanny shows tend to have upper-middle/lower-upple class folks as well.
posted by griphus at 12:27 PM on July 21, 2011


I knew you were going to post this today! Just call me Nostradamus.
posted by functionequalsform at 12:32 PM on July 21, 2011


Cite?

Also the wave of celebrity reality shows like Paris Hilton/Kardashians etc. There is so much "LOL What will those dumb-ass superprivileged types do next?" out there that I think it really does all balance out.
posted by hermitosis at 12:37 PM on July 21, 2011


Is this the place where I can complain about the commercial I saw letting me know that The Jeremy Kyle Show (Metafilter previously) is coming to America this fall?

Because... fuck that.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:39 PM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


My favorite "not the father" dance.

"Yes! I'm not the father! I'm going for a scuttle!"
posted by giraffe at 12:39 PM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, ok, that was the wrong link. But I'm sure there's someone out there that played an invisible instrument when the results were announced.

Wooooooooo!
posted by giraffe at 12:42 PM on July 21, 2011


I bookmarked the site before you stick up the ass types get this post yanked.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loe8yoJErh1qbwyip.gif
posted by villanelles at dawn at 12:43 PM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wooooooooo!

It's a GIF and yet I clearly heard the "whoop whoop whoop whoop."
posted by griphus at 12:58 PM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


When I was 16, as a result of a High School field trip to a TV studio gone horribly horribly wrong, I was unknowingly ushered onto the set of the Maury Povich Show as an audience participant in their Christmas-themed drag queen "Is it a dude or a chick?" holiday special.

Although the audience was polled for each performer on stage, he quizzed a few members of the audience individually. I was up front, because my clothing looked "wintry" (the Christmas special was filmed around June), and Maury wanted to know if I thought the nice lady on stage was a man or woman. Resisting my urge to respond with "Well, that's a complicated question and Miss Sunshine is the only one really qualified to answer that," I said "Totally a dude" because I thought I saw a hint of an Adam's Apple.

I was wrong. Also, my mom got a hilarious phone call from my Grandmother about 5 months later.

I don't really have anything to add here, but just wanted to share that....
posted by schmod at 1:44 PM on July 21, 2011 [11 favorites]


eew
posted by Bookhouse at 4:00 PM on July 21, 2011


Thanks schmod, that anecdote makes up for 40 pages without a single "That's a man, Maury!" Gorgeous drag queens are the only reason I ever watched the show.
posted by Lorin at 4:22 PM on July 21, 2011


Here's actual evidence of our visit to the Maury show. (The first taping of the day- we're still detached and ironic. This was before the incest taping that gave us the 1000 yard stare.) It's called (charmingly) "Do Pickles Smell Like Pussy?" so it's probably not safe for work. We're the nerds with all our teeth in the red v-neck, green turtleneck, green and red plaid button-down, and black jacket. Nice, young, impressionable MFA candidates...
posted by Thin Lizzy at 4:32 PM on July 21, 2011 [2 favorites]


I love his expression in the second panel
posted by Green With You at 5:30 PM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


I really really want to know what Connie Chung thinks about all of this.
posted by m0nm0n at 6:02 PM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Because of this I watched Maury on youtube for several hours today.
posted by fuq at 6:34 PM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Hey Thin Lizzy -- the wig that Wanda is wearing in that video? I own the exact same one. I ordered it from Paula Young for my Whore of Babylon costume a few Halloweens ago (it's a different color than Wanda's).

I've only ever ID'd it in the wild a few times, so I'm very glad for the clip.
posted by hermitosis at 10:42 PM on July 21, 2011 [1 favorite]


Man. When they made up the whole idea of the world, with heaven and hell and alla that shit ... who would have ever believed that Maury's show was even possible? Nobody back when "As the World Turns" was thought up, I'll bet you that.

REALLY makes me wonder what happened back before TV, or even history, in the days of that Mola Ram guy in "Temples of Doom" who does all the scary chanting and then rips somebody's heart right out.

100 years from now there'll be forbidden cults that secretly watch Maury shows in hidden places so their neighbors will never suspect.
posted by Twang at 4:47 AM on July 22, 2011


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