This prayer is sponsored by Goodyear Tires. Amen.

July 25, 2011 9:27 AM

NASCAR pre-race, promotional prayer. SLYT
posted by I'm Doing the Dishes (48 comments total)

...?
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 9:38 AM on July 25, 2011

Ricky Bobby would be proud.
posted by splatta at 9:38 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

This makes me laugh because I'm imaging what if Jesus returns to Earth and, like, it turns out he's *exactly* like these goddamn yokels think he is, so he's going around preaching with this horrible fade haircut and a rat-tail and a racing jacket covered in endorsement patches, wearing busted old Oakleys and neon windbreaker pants, cruising through town in his Trans-Am. That would be so awesome.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:39 AM on July 25, 2011 [12 favorites]

Hmmm...Jennifer Deity?
posted by Thorzdad at 9:39 AM on July 25, 2011

Dear Lord, thank you Mammon!
posted by joe lisboa at 9:41 AM on July 25, 2011 [3 favorites]

I also thank the Lord for my smokin' hot wife.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 9:41 AM on July 25, 2011

There are some things that are so beautifully American you just have to appreciate them for their distilled essence of special-ness.
posted by Nelson at 9:42 AM on July 25, 2011 [3 favorites]

The product placement is already part of the Nascar culture, so why not it's prayers?

Boogity, boogity, boogity, amen.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:42 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

This is not one of them.
posted by joe lisboa at 9:42 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Fuck you very much for thinking Jesus would drive anything other than a 1970 or 71 Challenger convertible in Plum Crazy. With fuzzy dice.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:45 AM on July 25, 2011 [8 favorites]

Hah, I wonder how much he gets paid in endorsements.
posted by codacorolla at 9:46 AM on July 25, 2011

Also, I can't tell if this is parody or not. I blame the southern accent.
posted by codacorolla at 9:46 AM on July 25, 2011

Dear God: Please turn off ESPN and get busy on things that matter. Thanks, Daddy-O.
posted by Daddy-O at 9:47 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sometimes, you know, I'd rather stand with the goddamn yokels.
posted by willF at 9:47 AM on July 25, 2011

I love the smiles on the driver's faces, but thanking them for Rousch Yates without mentioning Hendrick is just not right. He mentioned his smoking hot wife, but his girlfriend is gonna be pissed he left her out.
posted by AugustWest at 9:50 AM on July 25, 2011

Just call it the NASCAR prayer, and Jesus, praise you, keep building those hot rods. I particularly like it when they crash.
posted by philip-random at 9:56 AM on July 25, 2011

Blasphemawesome.
posted by The World Famous at 9:57 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I had this on while puttering around the house and when I heard the hot wife comment I did do a mental double take.
posted by zzazazz at 10:25 AM on July 25, 2011

That's horrifying.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:27 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

ROU_Xenophobe: "Plum Crazy"

You mean Statutory Grape ? ;)
posted by namewithoutwords at 10:29 AM on July 25, 2011

On the "horrifying or awesome" question, Jay Busbee who runs the Nascar blog on Yahoo, says:

Pastor Joe Nelms is a regular at Nashville Superspeedway and has the best pre-race prayers of anyone in the sport. But Saturday night's prayer before the Nationwide race?

Absolutely epic.

Bonus points for the Ricky Bobby "Talladega Nights" reference.

So I'm voting in favor of self-aware and surprising sense of humor.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 10:48 AM on July 25, 2011 [8 favorites]

Jesus built my hotrod! Amen!
posted by chillmost at 10:55 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

The depth of irony of this prayer occurring in Lebanon, TN (east of Nashville) can only be experienced by those who have actually spent time in that or a similar southern town. The Lebanon school system was the final straw that convinced my ex and me that southern schools were far too conservative to be teaching our son anything.
posted by Ardiril at 10:55 AM on July 25, 2011

Ardiril: With a brush that broad, I could paint my entire house in one go.
posted by absalom at 10:59 AM on July 25, 2011

Well, Jesus was way cool...
posted by JBennett at 11:02 AM on July 25, 2011

The south is both a broad brush and a huge canvas.
posted by Ardiril at 11:15 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

Funny, humorous, down home but also troubling. This just further reinforces the righteousness and personalization of religion that quickly turns on others, and what I think are the values of many on the blue pages. I find the very notion that a God/god gives a hoot about the day today running of a race, a woman's "hotness" or ones political orientation/sexual habits frightening and troubling. It is only one step a way, and not a long step, to casting out others, condemning those who are different or whose wife/partner is not quite as hot. It just did not sit well. But hey, I am a Unitarian and we pray/meditate for social justice, equality, organic markets, a good pair of sandals and the hope that others are as enlightened and humble as we are.
posted by rmhsinc at 11:25 AM on July 25, 2011

Well, the Big J didn't want the money changers in the temple. He didn't say anything about building your temple in the middle of a bank.
posted by benito.strauss at 11:37 AM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

I find the very notion that a God/god gives a hoot about the day today running of a race, a woman's "hotness" or ones political orientation/sexual habits frightening and troubling.

While this pastor might believe this, and while many people might believe that their values are the values that God cares about, there was nothing in this prayer's words that actually reflected this.

(Tongue-in-cheek or not) what the pastor was doing, was simply acknowledging the existence of the tires, the car-makers, his hot wife, etc. And he was thanking God for their existence.

As a believer in God, I'll probably never know what is important to Him, but thanking Him for the things that are important to me is a good thing.
Heck, even if you don't believe in God, it's probably a good thing to be thankful for all the little things that are important to you.

Hot showers, a/c, FM radio, iPods, Jim Henson, jet airplanes, Las Vegas, puppy videos, etc.

Usually when we pray, it's b/c we need something, either for ourselves for for others. But prayer is also saying thanks, even if it is for things that are inconsequential to the greater things in life.
posted by bitteroldman at 11:50 AM on July 25, 2011 [10 favorites]

Transcript:

“Heavenly Father, we thank You tonight for all your blessings. You said in all things give thanks so we want to thank You tonight for these mighty machines that You’ve brought before us. Thank You for the Dodges and the Toyotas. Thank You for the Ford’s and most of all we thank You for Roush and Yates partnering to give us the power we see before us tonight. Thank You for GM Performance Technology and the RO7 engines. Thank You for Sunoco Racing fuel and Goodyear tires that bring performance and power to the track. Lord, I want to thank you for my smokin’ hot wife tonight, Lisa. And my two children Eli and Emma, or as we like to call them the little E’s. Lord, I pray and bless the drivers and use them tonight. May they put on a performance worthy of this great track. In Jesus’ name, boogity, boogity, boogity, Amen!” via

posted by rube goldberg at 1:09 PM on July 25, 2011

Someday in the distant future when the country is more diverse in every part, I look forward to the yokel Imam and Rabbi adding their bits to the NASCAR interfaith prayer.
posted by munchingzombie at 1:19 PM on July 25, 2011

That happened.

Pass the brain bleach. AGAIN.
posted by andreaazure at 1:21 PM on July 25, 2011

@bitteroldman--excellent point about being thankful--I just read, and reread, the above transcript--I really want to enjoy it but for some reason it just rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it's the "in Jesus' name" or something. Before becoming Unitarian I went to Methodist/Lutheran/Episcopal/Church of Ireland services for many many years and we just did not have fun with prayers. I certainly grant you this prayer is (x*n infinity) better than asking for God to support him in the death of infidels, some other religion or another country.
posted by rmhsinc at 1:29 PM on July 25, 2011

@rmhsinc, I do understand and agree when you say "rubbing me the wrong way." I find it strangely uncomfortable myself; in my case, i've always believed that prayer is something personal between a person and God, and having a prayer in public kind of corrals everyone into a corner and forces them to take part, whether they want to or not.

i guess it could have been made better by including people of other religions, atheists, and people of other cultures.

And maybe even include Grand Prix fans -- now that would be something!
posted by bitteroldman at 1:48 PM on July 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

Everyone knows Jesus drove a Honda. Scripture says he spoke "On his own Accord."
posted by 4ster at 1:50 PM on July 25, 2011 [3 favorites]

This isn't giving thanks. This is cheer-leading and bragging.

Thanks come from a place of humility. He is about as far from humble as a human can be.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:11 PM on July 25, 2011

Hot Wife explained by Stuff Christian Culture Likes.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:11 PM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

"rubbing me the wrong way"

Shoot, if this guy's prayer rubs the wrong way, you should hear the full pre-race ceremony that Nascar does every stinking weekend for every stinking truck-, B- & top-level race. A real baptist-style prayer, followed by the ***NATIONAL ANTHEM*** often with an entire battalion for an Honor Guard and accompanied by the missing-airman flyover. Then they trot out the charity of the week for its cameo afterthought.

It takes 24 minutes, give or take 20 seconds including the 2 commercial breaks, before they get around to actually saying "Gentlemen (and lady/-ies), start your engines."
posted by Ardiril at 2:11 PM on July 25, 2011

Of course, at the ARCA level, you get the occasional parachutist.
posted by Ardiril at 2:15 PM on July 25, 2011

There are times when being from the south is not much fun. This is not one of those moments.
posted by nola at 4:54 PM on July 25, 2011

I was driving home early Sunday morning through Bakersfield
Listening to Gospel music on the colored radio station
And the preacher said, "You know you always have the Lord by your side"

And I was so pleased to be informed of this
That I ran twenty red lights in his honor
Thank you Jesus
Thank you Lord
posted by bwg at 5:07 PM on July 25, 2011 [2 favorites]

America is a big place. There are all kinds of things that are uniquely and beautifully American.

These people are enjoying life and thanking god for it. What's wrong with that? If god is pissed about it, I'm pretty sure He can speak for Himself.
posted by gjc at 5:15 PM on July 25, 2011 [1 favorite]

This video shows us all why Jesus told people to pray secretly in their room.
posted by Gary at 7:53 PM on July 25, 2011

Well, *someone's* gotta put a link to the Talladega Nights prayer scene here at some point. The smoking wife thing is a direct lift.
posted by mediareport at 8:18 PM on July 25, 2011

Lord we thank you for showing us that the righteous only turn left.
posted by vanar sena at 9:25 AM on July 26, 2011

buggity, buggity, buggity, ding a ding dang my dang-a-long ling long.
posted by infinitewindow at 11:26 PM on July 26, 2011

Songify This...
posted by Sweetie Darling at 4:46 PM on July 28, 2011

And y'all, it's "I pray and bless the drivers as usual tonight," not "I pray and bless the drivers and use them tonight." Don't anybody got their listenin' ears on?
posted by Sweetie Darling at 4:52 PM on July 28, 2011