We have dolls that pee, don't we?

July 29, 2011 9:52 AM

Meet Bebe Gloton, the Breastfeeding Doll who's coming to America. The NY Times opines, Facebook users can't agree on whether it's good or bad, but what does God think?
posted by swingbraid (40 comments total)

I don't really get it- is this something kids want? And wouldn't those kids be able to pretend-breastfeed with the dolls they already have?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:55 AM on July 29, 2011

Facebook users can't agree

Always so hard to tell whether a "Like" is ironic...
posted by hermitosis at 9:56 AM on July 29, 2011

...I have a feeling that there are already little girls out there who are miming "breastfeeding" with their baby dolls, just because they've already seen Mommy do it with their baby brothers or whatever.

If it's all the same, though, I'm probably going to be sticking with getting my niece teddy bears or bunny rabbits or something instead.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:57 AM on July 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

Be careful out there.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:58 AM on July 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

My friend Heather once walked in on her five year old stepbrother holding a stuffed orca and a stuffed dolphin to his ribs. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I'm nursing my babies," he said with utter nonchalance, "They never cut me a break."
posted by hermitosis at 10:00 AM on July 29, 2011 [31 favorites]

Am I suppressing people's freedoms or being too much of an asshole if I say that I think my new reason for not liking Facebook is that it gives people too much of a platform to think they have an opinion about something they really don't care about?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:01 AM on July 29, 2011 [24 favorites]

God, mike, you hit the nail on the head and sunk it in one blow, Karate Kid style.
posted by notsnot at 10:03 AM on July 29, 2011

The picture doesn't show the girls pretending to breastfeed. It does show the doll with a pacifier in its mouth.

Educational fail?
posted by DU at 10:04 AM on July 29, 2011

Rule 34. Ick.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 10:06 AM on July 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

You're never too young to be taught that breasts are sexual first, functional second, it seems.
posted by Jilder at 10:06 AM on July 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

I had to click on the link to find out whether this was a doll that feeds on breasts or a doll with breasts that other dolls could feed on.

Anyway, if I remember right weren't there numerous baby dolls back in the day that made mouth movents so kids could pretend bottle feed them. Repursing in it's finest form, dude.
posted by jonmc at 10:07 AM on July 29, 2011

We have dolls that pee, don't we?

Sure, because we have babies that pee. Not too many babies lactate.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:10 AM on July 29, 2011

Maybe it's me, but this comes across as something from the Cultural Revolution for training the proletariat for their future roles in the Glorious Worker's Paradise. Fun is so bourgeois.
posted by tommasz at 10:12 AM on July 29, 2011

Not too many babies lactate.

Pretty sure that's exactly not what this doll does, but you know, I could be wrong.
posted by AndrewKemendo at 10:12 AM on July 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

The reviews on Amazon are mostly good.

Breastfeeding is as much a part of nature as having a baby in the first place. So if a little girl can pretend to carry around a child as her own (that is actually a baby doll) why can't she pretend to feed it? The breast is a baby's primary food source after all.

Oh wait, that's right! Little girls are just learning to shun nudity and their breasts. I'm sorry, I forgot about that. Also, breastfeeding is bad because it's dirty. At least that's how people make a friend of mine feel, even with a breastfeeding shawl covering her entire body.
posted by Malice at 10:13 AM on July 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

Who needs a doll? When I was 3, I tried to breast feed my baby brother.
posted by nooneyouknow at 10:14 AM on July 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

My son, 2, will happily yank his shirt up and breastfeed his Duckie.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 10:14 AM on July 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Snack pack for Little Jack. I had it made from an exact cast of Debbie's left breast. Would you like to touch it?"

"Honey, you promised you wouldn't take the boob out in front of compay".
posted by humboldt32 at 10:19 AM on July 29, 2011

Facebook users can't agree

That's strange, there are only a few hundred million of them. You'd think they'd have hammered out a consensus by now.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:20 AM on July 29, 2011 [6 favorites]

Nice try, but if you can lavish it with vaguely human parenting, it will be stuffed unceremoniously under a jumper.

No, I know. This way, though, I can lie to myself and say she'll play Easter Picnic Hoedown or something else instead of anything that implies she'll ever grow up at all in the first place.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:31 AM on July 29, 2011

All four of my children (boys and girls) have pretended to breastfeed baby dolls and stuffed animals. While it was somewhat odd to watch my three-year-old son scold his baby lion for biting his nipple, I can't even begin to imagine how it could have caused them any permanent damage. Kids pretend to do grown-up stuff. That's part of being a kid. This is kind of a stupid toy, but it takes some real odd personal issues to object to it strongly enough to start a facebook page or online petition to oppose it. I don't understand why so many people put so much energy into being angry about things that just don't matter. People are so weird.
posted by Dojie at 10:33 AM on July 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

I walked into my son's room when he was about three, and found him setting up this tableau of a cow sharing its milk.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:36 AM on July 29, 2011 [18 favorites]

I think this would be good for kids who are born without nipples.
posted by vespabelle at 10:37 AM on July 29, 2011

Not too many babies lactate.

Pretty sure that's exactly not what this doll does, but you know, I could be wrong.

Please don't give the people at Realdoll any ideas.
posted by homunculus at 10:38 AM on July 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

I was a little troubled when I thought the doll would be the feeder. Would it come with packets of stuff (Enfamil* would be all over it, no doubt), a-la an Easy Bake oven, that you mix and fill the doll with so that the doll's owner (or another doll? Dolls all the way down?) would consume it? What would a half-full of cheap artificial human milk smell like after a few days behind the couch?

But yeah, if it is a doll that is the breastFED it makes perfect sense, and I am ll for it. But, like many have said, basically any toy already breastfeeds, if your kid knows about breastfeeding.

*We were at the OB yesterday and there was a stack of fairly nice little diaper bags with big printed labels on them that said "A gift for BREASTFEEDING MOTHERS", and it was full of Enfamil baby formula. That's some grade A bullshit right there. There ought to be a law.
posted by dirtdirt at 10:40 AM on July 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

Devils Rancher: I walked into my son's room when he was about three, and found him setting up this tableau of a cow sharing its milk.

That is a cute picture; in fact, if I had kids, my encouraging them to do stuff like this constantly would probably border on abuse.

But though I can't see for sure, if I squint carefully, the missing-out giraffe looks pissed.

Not to derail the thread, but speaking of lactating babies, what TV show or movie did I watch recently where this was a plot point? (newborn baby lactating, father freaking out) I have a feeling it is something embarrassing, so I'm afraid to ask, but it's been years since I let shame guide my MetaFilter behavior before?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:45 AM on July 29, 2011

Crap, as soon as I hit return, I remembered. It was King of the Hill -- when Cotton's wife gave birth. Which is not embarrassing at all.

So, at least in animated Texas, sometimes baby's lactate. And given that it wasn't a Seth McFarland cartoon, I'd say it's realistic. I mean as realistic as a shin-less septuagenarian impregnating his young nurse.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:48 AM on July 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Was it a metaphor for christ

That was utterly innocent play - he believes in sharing, and being nice. The cow was a nice cow.

I let my children grow up and make their own conclusions regarding spirituality. I answer their questions as best I know how, explain to them what I believe and why, keep it as short and sweet as possible without not answering at all, since they look to me for guidance.

He found out about The Jesus much later than three, probably from that infernal TV thing he watches, and not from me. Our one conversation about Christianity went something like this:

Him: "Dad, what is Christianity?"
Me: (long pause, followed by sigh) "Well, some people believe that... blah, blah, blah..."
Him: "That's stupid."
posted by Devils Rancher at 11:06 AM on July 29, 2011

honestly, when the playground in our yard got a little too silent the other day and all the moms popped their heads out of the windows to see what the kids were up to, we were met with the sight of three girls and one little boy sitting on a blanket and pretend-nursing a doll each before their nap. One of the dolls was a truck.
posted by dabitch at 11:41 AM on July 29, 2011 [4 favorites]

dirtdirt: "We were at the OB yesterday and there was a stack of fairly nice little diaper bags with big printed labels on them that said "A gift for BREASTFEEDING MOTHERS", and it was full of Enfamil baby formula. That's some grade A bullshit right there. There ought to be a law."

Well, if it's the kit I'm thinking of, it is certainly self-serving, but I don't think it is quite as evil as you think. It touts itself as a free kit for Breastfeeding and Supplementing Moms. And it is not just full of formula.

Here's what is actually in the kit: sample of Expecta® LIPIL® DHA Supplement for pregnant and nursing moms; excerpt from The Nursing Mother’s Companion; sample of Enfamil LIPIL®, '"our closest formula to breast milk, should you choose to supplement."

So, yes, definitely self-serving. But the DHA supplement is good for anyone, you can just toss the excerpt (which probably talks about supplementing when weaning and of course the company wants you to buy their formula to do it), and if you do need to supplement, you have that LIPIL just in case. And a free diaper bag is nice to have, in case you want an extra one to store in each parent's car. And I think that most Moms are savvy enough to know that if a 'gift' comes from a formula company, it's going to be touting formula. So I'm not in the "Evil evil evil" category for this one.

Plus, if you do end up going to formula or supplementing? That stuff is expensive. So I'd take all the free samples I could get. In fact, when my kids were babies, I signed up for free everything from everybody I could, because diapers and formula and pacifiers and bottles and all of add up.
posted by misha at 1:06 PM on July 29, 2011 [2 favorites]

This is a bit deraily, sorry.

It touts itself as a free kit for Breastfeeding and Supplementing Moms

There might be one like that, and I'm sure there are worthwhile products/coupons in this package, and the bag was nice. But this package very specifically stated "FOR BREASTFEEDING MOMS" in large print, and the only mention that it had anything to do with formula at all was a very small "Milk based Supplement" (exact wording I think - I was so mad at the thing that I was going to take a picture, but I felt weird about it so I didn't) and an Enfamil logo.

In my opinion, giving out free formula to try to get moms to choose your brand is not evil at all, but giving out formula with deceptive, or at least vague, labeling with the intent of breastfeeding moms using it instead of breastfeeding is worth at least one evil.

Using formula is not the end of the world, there are lots of healthy happy loved babies and healthy happy loving moms who use formula, but breast is best. I'm as annoyed at the OB as I am at the formula pushers, honestly.
posted by dirtdirt at 2:05 PM on July 29, 2011 [3 favorites]

I like this. I think it's a good idea to provide more fodder for little girls' princess fantasies of growing up to be mommies.

Now, was that a real like, or a sarcastic like? So hard to tell these days...
posted by nosila at 2:47 PM on July 29, 2011

My godsons are being raised in a breastfeeding family; I am pretty sure my friend breastfed three kids in turn for six straight years. All of them breastfeed their babydolls (and carry them in slings, so cute!)

As children have done through centuries, they are using play to reflect their experiences of the world around them. They have never seen a bottle used on any member of their family and as far as they are concerned, this is how babies are fed. Their lack of gender prerequisites isn't as immediately compelling as their desire to nurture and interact with their play dolls. This all makes me very happy.

I'm not sure though why we need specific breastfeeding dolls for this. Surely just selling the babydoll without the standard included plastic bottle would work just as well? I mean, any doll (or truck) would do, so I assume its some sort of marketing thing that is apparently working!
posted by DarlingBri at 2:56 PM on July 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

"*We were at the OB yesterday and there was a stack of fairly nice little diaper bags with big printed labels on them that said "A gift for BREASTFEEDING MOTHERS", and it was full of Enfamil baby formula. That's some grade A bullshit right there. There ought to be a law."

I've never understood the hate about this. I just got the diaper bag you're talking about when my little one arrived last month. I'm breastfeeding. We donate the formula to the crisis nursery, where it is BADLY needed. The domestic violence shelter is also always in need. I appreciate the diaper bag, and I know the crisis nursery appreciates the formula.

With my first baby, I got a "guide to breastfeeding" from either Enfamil or Similac at the hospital in my "happy mommyhood" package, and it was far and away the most useful breastfeeding info book I got my hands on. I know their history is problematic, but they provide useful stuff, like breastmilk storage and cold transport materials, for free to nursing mothers, and free formula can easily and very usefully be donated.

(I also disapprove of this doll, mostly because I don't like commodifying everything. A kid can just use any doll or stuffed animal to breastfeed, they don't need a special one-task highly-marketed one.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:56 PM on July 29, 2011 [1 favorite]

Oh, I was expecting this to be about MamAmor dolls (flash, autoplay) which breastfeed but also get pregnant and give birth. They're pretty but hella expensive.
posted by emjaybee at 6:51 PM on July 29, 2011

emjaybee: They're pretty but hella expensive

OMG those dolls are amazing! The last (and only) time I bought a Waldorf doll that was that well-made and detailed, it was about $130. So I actually don't think that's bad for a hand-made doll with that detail of design, development and crafting time behind it - although I am not arguing that isn't a giant chunk of change, because it sure is.

(Geeze if the FB ladies don't like the breastfeeding dolls, the birthing ones should send them batshit insane.)
posted by DarlingBri at 10:35 PM on July 29, 2011

> "They never cut me a break."

Many a true word spoken in jest. Can't wait for these dolls to migrate - and they will - to (our) aged care facilities where they will be unthinkingly used to pacify burden aged women addled by dementia.

Sexism applies. Men, similarly addled by dementia, are not offered infant dolls.
posted by de at 11:36 PM on July 29, 2011

I'm not sure though why we need specific breastfeeding dolls for this. Surely just selling the babydoll without the standard included plastic bottle would work just as well?

I think the pitch is that the doll comes with a little halter-top thingy with two flowers where the breasts would be, and there's a computer chip or something inside each of the flowers, and a chip inside the baby's mouth -- and when you bring the mouth of the doll up to one of the flowers, it makes sucking noises.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:11 AM on July 30, 2011

If you really want to go all out, you can get the doll this hat. It pretty accurately captures what the observer is often thinking when he or she comes upon someone nursing her child.
posted by pomegranate at 8:21 AM on July 30, 2011

Bebe Gloton has a pacifier! What about nipple confusion? The poor doll will be crying for a bottle in no time, the four-year-old mother will give up in frustration, and it'll be artificial breast-milk for Bebe from then on.

I think Nestle is actually behind this.
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:41 AM on July 30, 2011