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August 2, 2011 11:02 AM   Subscribe

Jason van Gumster has been telling a lie a day since November 8, 2006.
posted by infinitewindow (34 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
bullshit
posted by orme at 11:06 AM on August 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


So "Jason van Gumster" is Glenn Beck's real name?

Zing!
posted by adamdschneider at 11:08 AM on August 2, 2011


who doesn't lie at once a day?
posted by kris.reiss at 11:09 AM on August 2, 2011


The cake.
posted by nushustu at 11:10 AM on August 2, 2011


who doesn't lie at once a day?
posted by kris.reiss at 7:09 PM on August 2


I never lie. Seriously.

You should try it. It brings so much fun into your life.
posted by Decani at 11:11 AM on August 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


Amateur!
posted by mazola at 11:11 AM on August 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


"Your long-term memories are stored in your teeth. If you brush your teeth too hard, there’s an extremely high probability that you’ll forget your childhood."

Ha. :)

He also has a habit of believing seven impossible things before breakfast.
posted by zennie at 11:11 AM on August 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


So "Jason van Gumster" is Glenn Beck's real name?

It says a lie a day not a lie, sometimes three, every sentence. I like to imagine that Mr. van Gumster is absolutely truthful at all other times. Now, that would be a thing!
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:11 AM on August 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


He has some tough competition out there. I mean how can you compete with; "The Iraq war will pay for itself." ?
posted by R. Mutt at 11:12 AM on August 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


Me too. Except today.
posted by The Bellman at 11:18 AM on August 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I am Al Gore.
posted by Mister_A at 11:19 AM on August 2, 2011


No living animal can see into the future. However, goats are capable of smelling the future.

I call bullshit. How does he know this is a lie?
posted by The Bellman at 11:19 AM on August 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


You should try it. It brings so much fun into your life.

I love making up bullshit answers to idle questions. It's a great way to practice thinking on your feet and making yourself sound believable.

I convinced a whole carload of people once that Columbus Day was a celebration for Columbus, Ohio. That was a proud moment.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:20 AM on August 2, 2011 [8 favorites]


Jason van Gumster has been telling a lie a day since November 8, 2006.

My immediate reaction: only one?
posted by misha at 11:20 AM on August 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


My first thought was, he lied in every word,
That hoary cripple, with malicious eye
Askance to watch the working of his lie
On mine, and mouth scarce able to afford
Suppression of the glee, that pursed and scored
Its edge, at one more victim gained thereby.

posted by blue_beetle at 11:23 AM on August 2, 2011


Amateur. I lie at least once an hour while awake and then I lie in bed all night.
posted by tommasz at 11:24 AM on August 2, 2011 [2 favorites]


Only since 2006? Jason van Gumster once told me he'd been lying daily since at least 1883.
posted by ztdavis at 11:38 AM on August 2, 2011


This is awesome. I'm a liar.

did I just blow your minds?
posted by Lutoslawski at 11:42 AM on August 2, 2011


I really enjoyed this post.

[August 2nd - Done.]
posted by banshee at 11:43 AM on August 2, 2011 [3 favorites]


If I shave your eyebrows, they will never, ever grow back. The trick is in the... ah, nevermind. You'll see.
I can also eat your hat.
posted by hat_eater at 11:52 AM on August 2, 2011


Is it a lie if I say the Pope likes to eat jello when I don't know one way or other other?
posted by blue_beetle at 11:55 AM on August 2, 2011


It's actually one outrageous lie... Still.. amusing.

Whether or not I speak the truth, I lie hundreds of times a day.

Mostly to myself, whenever I think things like:

"No one likes me." "I'm a fuck up" "This is hopeless" "I just can't do this" "No one will ever understand me." "More money would fix everything" "If she loved me the way I love her, I would never want anything more."

Being honest with you is most of the time quite easy. I just have to speak carefully and mostly to people I trust.

Being honest with myself is, as of today, quite impossible.
posted by Debaser626 at 11:59 AM on August 2, 2011 [7 favorites]


Those don't look like lies, they look like jokes.
posted by sweetkid at 12:25 PM on August 2, 2011


Maybe I am missing something, but if you (1) say something that is untrue, but (2) identify it as a lie, the first expression is not a lie. There is no intent to deceive or mislead if you are identifying it as a lie.

Therefore, either it is a "lie" a day, or his assertion each day that he is "lying" is the lie, or . . . the things he is saying each day are actually true.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 12:29 PM on August 2, 2011


I only had to go back to July 18th to find an entry that was definitely not a lie.

Blatant false advertising! Wait...
posted by justkevin at 1:17 PM on August 2, 2011


Proudest moment in lying was convincing a former girlfriend that I was married to a successful "expert in communications" for a cement company, and that we had two children Zelda and Mario, named in honor of the Nintendo characters.
posted by Omon Ra at 1:30 PM on August 2, 2011 [3 favorites]


This is funny, but I was expecting it to be a record of lies he'd told in his day-to-day life, and I'm a little disappointed.

I'm not sure if this is a new thing or not, but in the last couple of years, I've started noticing myself lying all the time. Almost always about utterly innocuous things. Things that are so minor that if I stopped to correct myself, it would sound really weird.
posted by roll truck roll at 2:03 PM on August 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I prefer a lay a day.

at least.
posted by davejay at 3:17 PM on August 2, 2011


Also: lying is easy, telling the truth is hard...and when you lie, life is hard, but when you tell the truth, life is easy.
posted by davejay at 3:18 PM on August 2, 2011


No he hasn't...
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:39 PM on August 2, 2011


when you tell the truth, life is easy

But that's a lie isn't it?
posted by Omon Ra at 4:06 PM on August 2, 2011


My best lie: Telling my ex-boyfriend I believed him when he gave me some bullshit story about being married and having kids named after some dorky cartoon characters.
posted by straight at 8:38 PM on August 2, 2011 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure this is how Metafilter's own John Hodgman got his start.
posted by crunchland at 9:02 PM on August 2, 2011


"So "Jason van Gumster" is Glenn Beck's real name?

It says a lie a day not a lie, sometimes three, every sentence. I like to imagine that Mr. van Gumster is absolutely truthful at all other times. Now, that would be a thing!"


Regarding Glenn Beck, the following sentence describes one's first impression upon meeting GB:

"Hello" he lied.
posted by motown missile at 10:24 PM on August 2, 2011


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