I would like you to know my name
August 10, 2011 1:11 PM   Subscribe

The bravest woman in Seattle would like us to know her name. Warning: The earlier posts are brutal and very hard to read, and possibly especially so for victims of violence and sexual assault. Previously, previously.
posted by A Terrible Llama (35 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite

 
Can I request that the trigger warning goes on the outside?
posted by griphus at 1:13 PM on August 10, 2011 [7 favorites]


That would probably be a better idea.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:15 PM on August 10, 2011


Thanks for posting this.

Also, no need for a trigger warning before the main link on the front page, as there is nothing explicit in it. The earlier links are posted with appropriate preceding warnings.
posted by bearwife at 1:15 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Well, it'd just be nice to know I'm going (or not going, in my case) to be reading an article about rape and murder and not, for instance, about someone breaking the world sky-diving record or something.
posted by griphus at 1:18 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Wow. Thank you for posting this. She has such strength. Wow.
posted by zarq at 1:25 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


(Wow, I have to do something about those advertisements. Someone walking by my office wouldn't know what to think.)
posted by resurrexit at 1:25 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Yeah, the "Stranger Personals" next to the story are... NSFW, in some cases.
posted by antifuse at 1:27 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


As much as I applaud her for this, I can't help but grind my teeth when I think of how many other people wouldn't be able to do this, because they weren't raped by a crazy stranger leaving no possible doubt as to the lack of consent. People who are raped by boyfriends, spouses, roommates, and all those other cases where the dreaded "he said, she said" comes into play.

I don't have a point, I just wish that wasn't the world we live in.
posted by Gator at 1:28 PM on August 10, 2011 [18 favorites]



I don't have a point, I just wish that wasn't the world we live in.


Me too. I also wish we didn't live in the world where this had happened. It is always staggering how cruel people can be to each other.
posted by bearwife at 1:33 PM on August 10, 2011


Double. Still an incredible, painful read though.
posted by olinerd at 1:35 PM on August 10, 2011


Missed this the first time around. Thanks for posting.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:37 PM on August 10, 2011


That's one of the previouslers -- from June, describing her testimony. This is an essay by the woman herself.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:38 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


antifuse: "Yeah, the "Stranger Personals" next to the story are... NSFW, in some cases."

I used the print version. Same content sans offensive ads.
posted by lampshade at 1:47 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


It actually took me two months to read the one from June. When it was posted, I felt sort of ashamed and cowardly but couldn't bring myself to read it, even though I kept seeing people say things like, 'Wow, that was hard, but I'm glad I read it.'

And then today I read this and in it she talks about how she appreciates people having listened to her and sat through the testimony and just been willing to see what she and her partner went through, and that it helped her, knowing that people knew.

And so I read it. It was really hard.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 1:48 PM on August 10, 2011 [5 favorites]


Whoa. Missed all of this previously.

I'm touched with her bravery and strength to 'come out' after such a horrible experience.
posted by ericb at 1:48 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


This is not a double.
posted by grouse at 1:58 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


A Terrible Llama: "It actually took me two months to read the one from June. When it was posted, I felt sort of ashamed and cowardly but couldn't bring myself to read it, even though I kept seeing people say things like, 'Wow, that was hard, but I'm glad I read it.'

I never made it through. I've tried four times, but... reading those descriptions quite literally throws me into panic attacks.

Can't even begin to imagine how she relived what had happened in order to tell her story on the witness stand. Just... can't imagine.
posted by zarq at 2:07 PM on August 10, 2011


Can we make the print version the original post? because man, those ads are tasteless given the content.
posted by empath at 2:17 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


Eli Sanders' original article about Ms. Hopper was gut wrenching, and rightly so. I read it once, I don't think I could read it again, and I'm not sure how he managed to write it.

I'm glad she's recovering and I'm glad she feels recovered enough to reveal her name to the world. I hope that the scum of the net won't make her regret that choice, though they doubtless will do their best to accomplish that goal.

I hope Ms. Hopper can get through the rest of her life without making any more headlines.
posted by sotonohito at 2:21 PM on August 10, 2011


He said to the two women: "All right, get ready for round two."

The horror of what happened next made the court reporter's eyes well up, made the bailiff cry, had the whole room in tears. The jury handed around a box of tissues. The prosecutor took long pauses to collect himself. The family and friends in the courtroom cried (though, truth be told, they had been crying throughout). The Seattle Times reporter seated next to me cried. I cried. The camerawoman who was shooting video for all the television stations in town cried—and later on hugged Butz's partner as she left the courtroom for the midmorning break.
Jesus. Christ. I don't even.
posted by disillusioned at 2:27 PM on August 10, 2011 [3 favorites]


To everyone who witnessed our journey through Eli's words: Thank you for listening. I am less alone because of your bravery.

Our bravery? No. The very, very least we could do was bear witness to yours. I'm so sorry this happened to you and to Teresa and that you were called upon, unfairly, to display the courage your grandmother always recognized. You did it incredibly well. May you live richly and know peace.
posted by Errant at 2:30 PM on August 10, 2011 [14 favorites]


I think the only thing more heartbreaking than the story itself, is the notion that for whatever reason, this is the one that made the news.
posted by timsteil at 2:36 PM on August 10, 2011


> this is the one that made the news.

Well, not to be crass, but this story was a TV news editor's dream. All the elements are straight from a crime drama. And, Kalebu kept it up for them week in and week out with his insane courtroom antics.

Anyway, I appreciated that Ms. Hopper is able to compartmentalize this and deal with it in a way that keeps her grounded. That's about as much sense as any of this whole thing makes otherwise.
posted by Horselover Phattie at 2:45 PM on August 10, 2011 [2 favorites]


How do people like Jennifer Hopper find it in themselves to feel anything but blinding hatred and rage towards their attacker? The things I wish on Isaiah Kalebu and men like him are unprintable. Were I or a loved one the victim of such a man, I don't know that I could go on living. I can't imagine ever being right with myself again. What an amazing human being she is.
posted by Sternmeyer at 2:53 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


I missed the previous posts on this and went back and read them just now. I'm currently both nauseated and in tears.

And to think, today I was feeling sad and sorry for myself.

I cannot even begin to imagine how this woman picked herself up and kept living. I think my own sanity would have fled and left me a broken shell if this had happened to me.

Christ, I'm not even able to articulate what this story did to me...but I'm glad she was able to reveal herself on her own terms.
posted by aclevername at 3:19 PM on August 10, 2011


My user name means that I'm a fan of Grace Hopper and Edward Hopper. I now have a third Hopper to add to that list.
posted by HopperFan at 5:01 PM on August 10, 2011 [16 favorites]


I am glad to read this update. It is heartening to read of her strength both to testify and to go on living her life, fighting for sense of self, after such destruction. It is a story of hope for people who are trying to heal and find a way to go on after being brutalized. People are both fragile and amazingly strong.
posted by Anitanola at 6:53 PM on August 10, 2011 [1 favorite]


My God, what a strong woman.
posted by rmd1023 at 9:00 PM on August 10, 2011


I was glad to read that she's surrounded by loving and supportive family and friends, and that she has a new love in her life. I'm so, so fucking glad that her ability to love wasn't taken away from her.

And I hope she finds the words she wants/needs to say at her attacker's sentencing on Aug 12. I hope whatever she says brings her a measure of closure and peace.
posted by palomar at 6:45 AM on August 11, 2011


I am so happy to hear from her. And so very glad that she's here to be heard.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:54 PM on August 11, 2011


Anyway, I appreciated that Ms. Hopper is able to compartmentalize this and deal with it in a way that keeps her grounded.

My knowledge of this is limited, but what she describes is almost the opposite of how I understand the term 'compartmentalize'. I think she went straight through, and goes straight through, if that makes sense.

It's that directness that I think is also what Eli Sanders recognized and drew from in his reporting and what aclevername kind of references and what I felt too, which is that on hearing that bald confrontation with what happened, you don't know whether to throw up or cry and wonder if maybe you could just do both.

But in this essay:

I know that I want to be truly happy again, like I was on those last few days I shared with Teresa, and I firmly believe that second chances are possible. So I will keep working toward mine.

posted by A Terrible Llama at 5:08 PM on August 11, 2011


Isaiah Kalebu's sentencing was today -- he received life imprisonment. He also blurted out a weird anti-gay monologue at his sentencing hearing.
posted by palomar at 3:01 PM on August 12, 2011


From Jennifer Hopper's statement:

"I knew I couldn't let today go by without addressing you," she said. "I learned how to be OK the last two years because of Teresa. I wish you peace. Realize that she (Teresa) taught me that, and so I realize there is nothing I could say to you because I begged you for my life and she begged.

"I do say to you that I do wish you peace, and I do not hate you," Hopper continued. "I am so sorry for whatever it is in your life. You took so much of me, and I am not broken, but glad you won't be around to hurt me. I wish you no harm. I never sought to have you put to death. I wish you peace every last day of your life."

posted by A Terrible Llama at 3:27 PM on August 12, 2011 [2 favorites]


Wow. Just... wow. I'm continually amazed by her grace.
posted by palomar at 5:42 PM on August 12, 2011


She wins at humanity. Because my statement would have included the words "Rot, motherfucker. Rot in hell."
posted by DarlingBri at 1:02 AM on August 13, 2011 [1 favorite]


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